by thornapple
This was good, I liked the characters a lot. Nice job with the should we-shouldn't we side of things. I think an editor would benefit you, especially with your dialog. The words were generally fine, but the punctuation needs work, and the flow was a bit clunky. Sweet story, though.
Thorn I thoroughly enjoyed that, It took a lot of work. Thank You
It got a little slow but it was still nice. Maybe if it was about 20% shorter. Thank you for writing.
What a flop. I expected that this was not going to have a very creative ending, but I thought it might be a bit more creative than this. 3* - not worth saying much more about this.
Fine for me 'till near the end, when it just seemed like a movie that had bits cut out to make it fit a prescribed time limit.
Thanks ThornApple, I do enjoy your stories.
Good read; 4/5