All Comments on 'Shining Girl Ch. 05: Andy and Linda'

Easily the most credible story I've read here, ever. Well researched, well-written and a thoroughly enjoyable read.

Your characters interactions are some of the best. I wait with baited breath for your postings. Please continue to write.

I was re leaved to see a new offering from you when I opened this site. Again you didn't disappoint, weaving in more old characters from older posts seamlessly, while developing the little known ones to their fulfillment. Continue your excellent writing [the editing and proofreading add much, Thank you people as well, Great teamwork!].

Andy sounds like such a wonderful man and older brother. Give Andy a healthy coating of chest hair for the sexy and masculine square chest he has. When he and Lin make love, it would be interesting to have his soft chest hair to tantalize her breasts. It would also give her something to gaze at, and something to stroke lovingly.

Beachbum1958 knows how to create characters with just a few words. I especially loved the description of Linda's twin Freddy. Now that is creative.

And when Linda finally realizes she wants her older brother Andy, the sex that follows is so beautifully described that you know that this author is a master storyteller.

I encountered this story first. Now on to the original Shining Girl stories.

your judgement and depiction of freddy is a bit too much negative...besides that ur stories and characterization is pitch perfect.....

I think you need to consider that the depiction of Freddy is narrated from the viewpoint of a teenage girl who doesn't like him, so her own dislike colors how she sees him; the balance comes from Andy, who tells her what Freddy is all about, and that he needs time to mature; he tells her that when he grows up and finally works out who he is, that's when she'll see the real Freddy, that he's not bad, or evil, just teen-stupid, but that he'll grow out of it.

When it comes to relative maturity, there's a simple formula that points up the ages at which girls and boys are equally emotionally mature; take the boy's age, divide it by two, then add 7 to find the equivalent maturity in a girl; with Freddy, he's 19, so 19/2 = 9 + 7 = 16, so Freddy is as emotionally mature as a 16 year old girl; girls mature mentally and emotionally much earlier than boys, a well known fact. This formula is not an absolute, but it works well across most age ranges, as a first approximation, and is probably true, for a given value of true.

beachbum1968 is certainly one of the best writers on this site, and proves it in spades with this lighthearted tale. I was hooked from the beginning, and even though it seemed a touch longwinded, I couldn't bear to give up a word. Veddy British in a great way, with a nice touch of humor, and lots of affection for all the main characters (except Slimy, of course). Keep it going, please.

Reversing beachbum's formula, Lin would be about on the emotional level of a 24 year old male. Just a bit old for Andy, LOL!

Andy's 21, going on 22, so 22/2=11 + 7 =18, Lin's nearly 19, so just about the right age for both of them to be equals. It's not a foolproof formula, nor is it absolute, it's an approximation, like saying Pi is 22/7 or 3.142 rather than 3.14159

Just for clarification Pi is 22/7. That is not an approximation. Im not sure what that has to do with this wonderful story but it is what it is.

...of this series. Good build up to how they get together. It seems plausible and possible. All the pre- and post-coital things make sense. It's just the sex that feels rushed (could use more detail although your prior ones have tons on the orgasmic details/feelings) and while I know this is fantasy, I don't know of any guy that can 'go' immediately after releasing (has to wait 20 minutes to get it up again). Aside from those things, great story.

The author is using it to illustrate the approximative nature of the formula he gave to calculate relative maturity; Pi is not 22/7, Pi is an irrational number, approximated as 3.14159 to 5 decimal places, and because it's an irrational number, it can't be represented by a common fraction, and never repeats the sequence; as of 2013, the value of Pi was expressed to 13 trillion digits without ever repeating any significant sequence. Because Pi is irrational, 22/7 is to approximate it as a decimal fraction, if you'd paid attention in school or ever read your math textbooks you'd know that. 22/7 is actually 3.1428571428571428571 recurring infinitely, get a calculator and try it; it's used to make life simpler for people like you, who won't ever understand the difference.

I followed the advice of beachbum1958 to read this parallel story of Shining girl.

Really loved this chapter, keeping the same line of the original story of Jack and Teruko.

Dude, I think we're both right when we said that these stories are romantic, even being about incest.

Now I'll read the next chapter, which I hope will be as good or better than this.

Congratulations!

5* for you.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.