All Comments on 'The Stronger Girl 02'

Wow!

I'm usually grossed out by anal, but this is so powerfully written, it's superb.

Great tension, great writing. The "choreography" of the girls is very naturally presented, as part of the flow of the narrative.

After reading your first story, I read another one on this site that happened to be a sequel to one I liked very much. It included an anal scene but at that point it just felt boring and unsatisfactory and I couldn’t even complete a story that, until I read yours, would probably have done it for me. I’m not going to name the story because that would be bashing and it’s completely beside the point, which is that, you are a terrific writer and you have managed to do something that no one else has ever accomplished. You ruined me. Now every time I come across a story that has similar elements I will be constantly comparing them to yours and if I find them lacking, I won’t be able to enjoy the story even if it had captivated me up until that very point.

And although I can’t claim to have never fallen in love with a fictional character, I’ve never become so invested in a character from a story on a erotica site EVER. And yet I am absolutely enamored with Michele. Maybe it’s because of how we see her through Annie’s eyes or maybe it’s because she’s such a well written character, or maybe it’s a combination of both.

Honestly the only thing that could ruin this for me is a POV switch. I can’t speak for everyone but a large part of my satisfaction comes from analyzing everything a non POV character does or says and trying to figure out how they really feel, what they’re thinking, and what drives them. Especially in a romantic or erotic story. A POV switch just ruins the mystery and I lose interest immediately. Not telling you how or what to write, just saying that if you ever go that direction, take care not to reveal everything all at once. Because Michele is a mystery that I would love to unravel.

Great chapter. I liked the D/s/s relationship and how it grew, developed, and shifted.

I really hope you decided to continue w these characters.

5/5

J

I came to reread your first entry and I almost came when I saw you uploaded a new one! God I came sooo hard! Please please we need more! I am obsessed with this series! I love how aggressive Michele is and just wants to please her.

I am so happy to know others are enjoying Michele as much as I am, and I very much like the idea of "ruining" a reader - there are a few stories on this site that I felt ruined me, which may be why I decided to finally try my hand at writing something myself.

And Five-Star-Anon - thanks for cautioning against a POV switch. My original idea for a follow up to this story was to tell the same events over again, first from Michele's point of view, and then from Nancy's - partly to fill them out, but mostly because I wanted the chance to show Annie in a more positive light than she herself would allow. I'm happy, that because of your caution, I decided against the switch. I've become very attached to Annie's POV and feel like we are getting glimpses of who she really is through her own eyes; which is lovely.

XOSNS

Truly spectacular work. I’ve read two so far, don’t want to burn through them. Your descriptions of sex feel so real, so intense, so powerful. You need to write a lot more.

Glad to hear you are enjoying the descriptions BB, so am I - which has been a wonderful surprise, I am not a story teller by nature. (Something I have to remind myself of as I write is that, more important than what’s going on in Annie’s mouth, is what’s going on in her mind.) I have at least one or two more stories in me, but haven’t a clue where this is going. XOSNS

Actually, working in Michele's background is a very good idea. Switching POV is tricky, but when done to explain something about the story, or character it can clarify and make the relationship more grounded. Obviously, doing it back and forth may be confusing, but done in moderation, it does work well to make the situation on the whole more realistic. But, that's a minor quibble, if that. Again, excellent writing. (Yes, editing can be improved, but when one does the writing by oneself, it is hard to cover all bases.)

As a reader I feel drawn and pulled into the story and hanging onto the descriptions. It's a pleasure to see writing of this caliber here.

dulcisfontis, waking up to your bouquet comments this morning was a great treat. Not to worry the editing is happening thanks to HaltWhoGoesThere's great generosity. As for Michele, I am increasingly certain that she is going to remain a black box, but I think I have found some nice ways for her to reveal herself. The sixth story in "pending" but I imagine it will come out later today or early tomorrow,. I hope you enjoy it, and thanks so much for the praise, I don't think of myself as a writer, or even a story teller, so these stories have been a wonderful surprise for me.

I love the story details like Annie’s odd sweater. (I wonder if that came from real life. If not, very inventive.

“Susurrate longings”? Really?? I love that, well done. “Susurrate longings”, LOL, wonderful.

Domald

Thank you Domald - the sweater was kinda from real life - if heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend counts. As for the “susurrate longings" - I worried I was pushing my luck with that, but it's so wonderfully onomatopoeic. Glad it connected with you.

Words fail me, easily the sexiest most extraordinary threesome I have ever read. This is just brilliant thanks so much.

Superb, this is eroticism at its very best and the fact that it is anal-centric just makes the storyline all the more appealing to me. And thank you for expanding my vocabulary, I had to look up susurrate as I had never come across the word before.

I’m going to enjoy watching you work your way through TSG AliceGee. I do resist the urge to get to flowery with the language, but it’s hard at time times, there are so many wonderful words.

Wow great story it definitely got me horny can't wait to read next chapter

Annie’s mother is the fourth person in the room isn’t she. This chapter made me cry, so delicate and precise.

Clothing and footwear descriptions are on the money. I love leggings & panel dress, just above the knees, not too long or too short. Oh gosh that is so hot. I’d add Doc Martens? You described boots but I wasn’t sure what they were.

Having read the whole of impact, I kind of missed the dress descriptions - Claire’s fashion sense and Sarah’s work wardrobe are all a bit foreign to me.

Anyway I’m sitting here in a puddle of tears this is so beautiful

I love the cliche of dorm room romances - probably since Ruby Fruit Jungle. (Another VERY early erotic memory - why did my mother have all that gay literature?) one thing I found missing in stories of all kinds on LitErotica was any outside context. Especially with young love our family is that context. So yes, Annie’s mother is the fourth primary. I’m very glad you are enjoying the fashion choices. Michele gives me the opportunity to go high, but Annie is the avatar of my nostalgia. (And yes, the boot were either Docs or Fluevogs.)

This just gets better.

So wonderful to see you in my comments claire_west!