All Comments on 'Shouldering the Burden'

This is life, I live it everyday. When young people make mistakes and have to live with them or not. My 1st wife of 3 years got cancer and died in 2 months. I stayed with her until the end. If she had lived we would have divorced. We were in the swapping scene by mutual decision, she loved it and I learned to hate it. 52 years later my wife of 49 years is ready to go into a care home. It's been a tough 2 years of not remembering me or the children and the year before that she would disappeared for days at a time. You cannot give up on someone you loved, or you wouldn't be much of a man.

Do you not understand that she was drugged raped, and then blackmailed? Her only problem is that she didn't go to her husband right away. That's what should have happened.

He stayed with that whore for decades???? Surely why bother

Yet another really creative LW story from this author. It was powerful and thought provoking even though it was simple. I can barely find anything to criticise (possibly because of both the simplicity and brevity) but what's there is gold. 5/5

That was beautiful. Others have called it sad. I find this uplifting. I find this humbling. You heard him. She's worth it. Suddenly, I understand, or perhaps I only got reminded, there can be love like this, and this brings me joy. If even for a moment, my belief in love has been reforged, in gold, like the vase. This is love and loving in such deep, strong and unyielding way, it fills my heart and soul. It reveals how nearly meaningless and empty all those I-love-you+I-love-you-toos in other stories really are.

Thank you for the story.

It'd take true strength to live through the pain every day

A beautiful story. I’ve re-read this several times, and it breaks my heart a bit every time. I’ve had relatives and friends with memory care issues, and it is a fearful thing to watch their minds unravel. Your story is a great reminder to cherish the ones we love while we can. Also, thanks very much for the wabi-sabi metaphor for a relationship — I really liked that touch. 5*

Sadly, this is one of the worst stories that I have read on here. The writing itself was pretty good... But, I have to judge the overall effect of the submission. Her anger and going out to get drunk, was the beginning of the problem. Then, she chose to begin shmoozing with the Ex. Engaging with him and drinking led to the entire blackmail situation... Choices, always have consequences. Whether good or bad, comes from the choices we make. So, the overall effect of your story, is sadness for the husband and a feeling of spite for the cheating bitch. That warrants a 2 star rating, although, thanks for the effort that you have given to us.

A great story, sad.

He really loves her and he tries to make her remaining life happy, while she is under care, and her memory is going.

She keeps remembering she cheated, and having to tell him, each time she remembers,

Very well written.

Wonderfully crafted sad story.

Five stars are just not enough for this one. Great writing! Thank you so much!

I don't know how to take this one. Somehow I missed it when it was first published. As always, brilliantly written. I just don't know if I could have overlooked her lack of trust in fucking the other guy for months without allowing what she knew to be an angry, violent husband to deal with someone who'd sullied his most precious possession. Instead of Milt getting to fuck her for months before he was crippled and disfigured, he'd have faced that foregone conclusion days after raping her

Darn! How come 'tear-jerker' isn't one of the story tags?

Still as good as the first time I read this beautiful love story...

...only 5 stars will do.

Beautiful.

Lovely but sad story that hits too close to home for way too many people. Not necessary the cheating and reconciliation, but the losing of a loved one to dementia or alzheimer.

Now That

Was a love story. *****'s+ Signed: BTW

Who are you? Where did you develop the depth, experience and skill to write something so concise and complete and touching. The broken vase metaphor was awesome. In its first mention, I knew it was their relationship, but your words about the repair and fixing their lives were just perfect.

As I get "much" older, I contemplate many odd fears for the years remaining. Not too worried about the wife straying at this point, but the other stuff is something that scares the crap out of me ... really well written.

Normally don't comment much on stories directly, many authors seem long gone from the platform, but as your stories are recent, I hope this reaches you. Keep up the excellent writing.

As far as I'm concerned, the finest story on the site.

I absolutely love the vase as the symbol for a repaired marriage. Kudos!

I’d like to say it’s not fair but that in itself would not be fair. It just pisses be off that someone can be this brilliant. Maybe that’s not fair…

A very touching story. Seeing your longtime spouse suffering with alzheimer's or dementia is tragic and devastating. You portrayed it so well. I have read a number of your stories and they are all 5 stars.

Wow! Mercy, Grace, Love. And the greatest of these is Love.

5* Well-written, tear-jerking and believable - and the kintsugi reference is really helpful. Thank you for posting it.

Truthfully a well told story almost bringing a tear to my eyes almost.

It's well written and I enjoyed it TY

🙉🙊🙈💨👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️💦

Wonderful story! Damn, hit me right between the eyes, then punched my heart out, too. THAT was raw emotion!

Anon said it all "THAT"S A LOVE STORY!" 10 stars, one of my favorites. I think it might have to be #11, but I will put it in my favs, not to be deleted. Thank you. Mrs. Bear says thank you. She said you made me honestly cry. Bless you. The Bear heartily approves.

The BEAR

This is one of your best imho. The emotions are raw and it's something I could see occurring. I both loved and hated working with geriatric patients. There is absolutely nothing worse than comforting an old man when his wife has died. Parents of a child is right there too but thankfully it's not as common.

We are trained to not express our emotions. We are supposed to remain professionally detached. Anyone who claims that it's easy either has a personality disorder or lying. I can't tell you how many times I have had to take a few minutes to bawl my eyes out and compose myself. I have been at this for over 20 years. I have learned different coping skills but I still have moments.

There was a photo floating around of an emergency medicine doctor outside of his clinic crying because he lost a 19 year old. I am tearing up thinking about that man.

So yeah, this story hits.

somehow the author has managed to illustrate the roller coaster of life's ups and downs,the good times and the bad . then make you emotionally happy and sad at the same time . unless we get lucky all of us will probably face at least some kind of mental loss as we get older . not sure how i would/will cope with a situation if it happens and can only hope my wife could if it was me .

Now THAT'S a love story , a story where not everything is all peaches and cream . Yes DEFINITELY a 5

A special -- perhaps even timeless -- story. Thank you.

This Story of Course made me painfully aware that our time is ebbing closer to the inevitable end. I Love my wife of 23 years but if I would have listened to my parents I would have met and married her the first time and we would have been married now for 45 years. Painfully wasted time, too late to regain the years once you spend them foolishly. My Mary will be the one playing the part foe my useless Ass as the Parkinson’s takes me away, sucks so bad ‘cause I feel it pull me every day more and more. I can only hope I have the Strength to take myself out on the Ducati I am getting myself for my 68th Birthday this year. Just have to do it in a way that will still have my Life Insurance paying off when I go.

Married 52 years now and all the bad memories are so insignificant. I doubt she had an affair or anything but if I found she had at one point in time it would not change a thing. There is a point in lives that we meld as one. I hope we both go with a still clear mind down the road aways.

i'm 65 now and starting to realize that this could be me in a few ? years . either i or my wife could start having issues and symptoms and start losing our minds .in some ways this is very sad,then on others shows how this man is doing his best to help her and love her no matter what . sitting her typing and crying at the same time . not sure i'd be man enough to cope with the situation like he did .

Real sad but amazing story. To some of the commenters below: the rape and blackmail happened many years earlier before the birth of their first child. Thyr have been married 50+ years and she has dementia. Husband has to keep reliving this, but has found a middle road response that makes his wife calm down without freaking out as she relives her memories. Dementia is the freaking worst. It is a direct assault on both spouses and other loved ones. Depressing stuff. My only criticism is the blackmail sex to cover up extramarital sex trope on this site. Yes her husband has a a terrible temper and she was worried how he woukd respond. If he didn't get to the truth from others he woukd have walked out on her permanently, committing a grievous error. She was drugged with a date rape drug. Of course in reality those didn't become accessible to perverts in the general public till mid to late 80s. But ignoring that, blackmail sex (which is itself rape) for a few months m, a couple of times a week is beyond traumatic. But at the same time caving in just further empowers the blackmailer. Just ckme clean with your husband. Seek help. Confess (though in this case some investigation shows she didn't do anything wrong to provike her ex) and see what happens. If your husband cannot handle it, then so be it. It is what it is. Not much to be done about it. But heaping on top of it with more extramarit sex, actually rape, to cover hip one incident is just nonsensical. Exceptions are serious threats of physical violence and the spectre of severe legal and financial ruin. For the latter two, at most submit once or twice to buy time and then get help, record those sessions (electronics have come a long way), get counter leverage. In the case of physical violence, do what you have to save loved ones, but tell your husband, go to the authorities, flee if need be and disappear. Contjnues degradation and rape is virtually never the answer. I say "virtually" because of exceptional scenarios involving drug cartels, gangsters, corrupt police, or government officials. Who knows then.

"The love of a lifetime existed between us. I...How could I do otherwise?" Me too. Still married after 41 years.

you really like these painful story accents. so sad. ouch.

your name is the absolute opposite of your talent

A brilliant beautiful story. Thank you

Milt should be walking with a limp for having sex with your wife, for the blackmail, milt should be...

One question. When did this take place? Soon after the reconciliation or much later in life?

2nd read, and it hurt as much as the 1st time. My partner has so many healt problems, but the worst is the new terminal diagnosis of an illness that will steal her away mentally. We've seen some short-term episodes over the last several months, but the decline can't be stopped.

I know exactly how this MC feels, although not for the reason of the involuntary infidelity of his wife...

...5 stars AGAIN for this sensitive and poignant tale.

Great and touching

Not many stories on this site make me tear up. This one did. Dementia, in opinion, is worse than cancer. With cancer, as horrible as it is, you remain YOU. Dementia takes that away. I can remember the pain in my grandmother's eyes when her husband of 58 years asked who that old woman was.

Five gold stars. Thank you.

What a beautiful, touching, well-crafted short story. I love it. Thank you.

Fuck you

That was wonderful, for a cheating wife story

Look at all the neck beard losers whining. Did mom make you Mrs Budds tonight? Don't you think it's time to move out? You are over 40

I didn't like it as I lived through it with my dad.

What a beautiful story

Love can conquer all

Have an argument with a loved one/spouse, angry, go for a walk.

I bet there are thousands of people who will say they did things they regret after and argument, this turned out to be a bad one.

How many have gotten booked for DUI, crashed a car, gotten a speeding ticket because they were angry after an argument/fight.

Be so hard on the husband having to relive that bad time in their marriage so sad 5*

What a wonderful story!!!

Five stars isn't enough! While reading the story I felt a tightness filling my chest as the pain Charlie recalled became an issue for him to deal with as he shares his love for his beloved wife. Having a memory loop from the past come back is a challenge for those who were there then and are still here today yet are someone new to the one important person in the mixture. I became my Mother-in-Law's date while my wife became her best friend from her teen years...we miss you Mom.

Never understood blackmail where the threat is more extramarital sex to cover up a one time fling or even a short affair. Makes no sense. Physical violence, harm to a family member or loved one, severe financial or legal ruin to you or loved one, ok sure, especially yo buy time, but more sex to cover up prior cheating, and in this case date rape as the original incident and then continued rape for a few months. Glad she had the wherewithal to finally come clean. Todd172 summarized this well, but surprised hoe often this blackmail sex trope is used in stories. Bit tiresome. No rational person would empower thr blackmailer so. And yes dementia sucks.

Good story that examines a problem a lot of us older folk have. I remember my brothers and I were warned not to say anything about our Dad’s death to our mother, who had Alzheimer’s. Her doctor told us that she would relive the memory of us telling her every time she remembered it and it would just be too painful for her. So we never told her, and I don’t think she asked about him more than a few times before she passed a few months later.

Thanks for the story, NTH. You are certainly NOT the no-talent hack your alias implies.

5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Dee

I'm 4 yrs into dementia. I feel god but my wife will tell me if I ask...Am I the same? The answer is no but still her man after 47 yrs. She gets mad if I look towards the future to far. She says we will adapt and love each other to the gates of of Haven together. I hold to that promise from her and God.

First class writing and an A for originality. Thanks.

Ed

Very moving, and well written. No extra words.

Good story but the qife is it fault I do qhyw he shoulder the bursen the first and the times after she shouldnhave came clean sooner

There is very little balance inbthe marriage

Damn intense, thank you for the story

Sad but beautiful story,

First rate. Truly a wonderful imagination, rare and insightful. Bravo!

Very powerful stuff, beautifully presented by this "notalenthack".

Truly one of my favourite authors.

On a similar vein, DFWBeast's Brownwood A Long Goodbye, absolutely heart breaking, and my worst nightmare.

Powerful stuff, very moving subject, well presented by such an "untalented hack".... Absolutely one of my favourite ever authors.

On a similar vein, think it's called the long goodbye.

Both stories my absolute worst nightmare.

Very strange, how an impaired women's past can be relived over and over again just to assuage to her that everything is ok.

Good story, love your "no talent" writing.

Jesus, that was a hard story to read, very emotional, in my mind it's better to just die fast rather to linger on, loosing your mind bit by bit.

Five stars from me on this one.

A rare and.moving story. Well worth five stars. JPB

Sixty-two years ago I fell in love with and married a smart, pretty young woman. I became a fairly successful writer; she edited everything I wrote and invariably made it better. Ten years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I was her caregiver for eight years, finally wasn't able to give her the care she needed and she entered a memory-care home. Both her short-term and long-term memories are gone. I'll visit her tomorrow, she'll recognize me as someone she should know but doesn't remember that I'm her husband or what my name is. She has forgotten her many infidelities of decades ago that I have forgiven; it breaks my heart every time I see her with the outlook and mindset of a four-year-old, wheelchair-bound and always in a diaper. My only job now is to outlive her. Her lucid days are a thing of the past, but your story captures only too well the pain of watching someone you know (and once loved) slowly fade away. Thank you for being such a gifted writer.

Sad but in a way almost fitting. If you hate a cheater and want some form of revenge then having the cheater relive what they did, over and over, and feel that pain they caused someone they professed to love - well that is a living hell. Unfortunately, our hero here feels he had some blame and loves her so that I guess is the sad part.

This is a sad one. Well done

A beautiful, very moving love story.

A very dear friend of mine, who I have known for over 55 years has suffered from vascular dementia for the past ten years. It is so painful to see her slowly ebbing away.

Excellent story. A story of true love.

Sad and beautiful

A swim through life's greatest lesson for this couple, relived again and again, in a page, with love.

Five for you

Lovely

Good story. No reason to seek out an ex boyfriend after an argument...

Those comments rehashing the infidelity are missing the point of the story. It's about their enduring love in the face of her memory loss.

A character that is developed to have faults but still can exhibit compassion and love is enlightening and a welcome from the shallow “Some woman wants he’s spouse to clean another guys come”.. or some other lame self absorbed excuse from a slut wife. Good job telling a very good tale

This story is sad and beautiful and well written. Nicely done b

Wonderfully done.

Thank you for writing.

Your writing is changing. For the better IMHO.

I really ought to do some housework before reading your stories. Always seems to be a dust problem in the room when I sit and read one.

Another ☆☆☆☆☆ story.

Thank you.

I can't believe how much dust gets in my eyes while reading this story. Having recently passed our 50 years of marriage I can relate to the major ups, and downs of a long term marriage. Thankfully we're both in fairly good health, and not in a care center yet. Beautifully written, and worthy of more than the Five Stars I gave it. Thank you for it.

OMG, that’s just so moving. I have a real love-hate relationship with your stories. They are well written, with a good storyline, but just so sad. Thanks

Truly a moving story exceptionally well written, NTH.

Boring

Truley a life story!

NTH does it again! Another Home Run HallMark Movies! Great Writing, Heartbreaking Great Story. Thank You NTH for so much hard work. Great Effort Sir. Thank You. #Buster2U

Such a sweet, painful story

Dammit...

This hits too close to home, at least the part about a life partner of many years and a progressive illness stealing her away on a daily basis...

Some won't understand, others won't care because they can't relate.

I don't know if this is coming from your personal experience, but this is a love story, plain and simple.

Well done, sir... 5 stars.

I agree with all the accolades commenters have laid on this story. 5 stars.

The one thing I would want to know as the husband, 50 years ago during the initial confession, is "Why are you confessing now, after weeks or months of being 'blackmailed' for sex. He still has the pictures, why confess now?"

Absolutely brilliant, what a well thought out story, so well written and I have to wonder how many people have to go through this for real, I think the vase was a stunning idea to compare the devastated remains of a cheating partner with getting passed it and carrying on with life in a loving way

Absolutely brilliant, what a well thought out story, so well written and I have to wonder how many people have to go through this for real, I think the vase was a stunning idea to compare the devastated remains of a cheating partner with getting passed it and carrying on with life in a loving way

My mother has dementia and has been in memory care for a year now. Early on, she had delusions and thought she could communicate telepathically. Surprisingly, she recalled several tryst and affairs (quite unlike her as I’m pretty sure she was faithful to my dad for 60 years). We found these recollections to be delusions when she couldn’t answer simple questions about them. Sad disease. These days, almost no delusions and she would never believe she previously said that she had affairs. Best advice I ever received in handling her was from a psychiatrist of hers who said to just agree with anything she says unless it’s dangerous. She won’t remember that you agreed 5 minutes later.

Thank you for sharing your exceptional talent for storytelling with us again and again.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Wow! An incredibly moving story. I am stunned by this story 5 stars

Just wow. 5*.

As always, NTH, your storytelling evokes a significant amount of emotion. This story is one of the few that I will read over and over again. It has both the power of the BTB ideology and the significant admission of dual responsibility /healing. 5 stars. Definitely 5 stars.

I’m a bloke . You know blokes aren’t supposed to tear up don’t you ? But since you didn’t know I’ll forgive your transgression this time . Seriously though that was truly powerful and touching , a true work of art like the vase and your characters marriage . It’s the past , the present and the future all puzzled back together flaws and all - kintsugi