Shut In

"Oh, yeah. I'd have to drive there, so...that's out," she reminded herself.

The day of the appointment was no better, but she did have the vet coming so she able to focus on that with 'focus' somehow turning into her blow drying her hair and putting on some mascara even though she'd never met the veterinarian who was coming to her home in another hour.

When he arrived, Nicole was glad she'd made the small amount of extra effort when the vet, Dr. Michael Mitchell, turned out to be a rather nice-looking man who was older than her but not by much.

"Mrs. Kelly? Hi, I'm Doctor Mitchell," he said with a smile as he shook her hand.

He had just a touch of gray around the temples and had a very nice smile. Nicole felt silly, but she actually looked at his left hand to see if there was a wedding ring. There wasn't so she smiled back and asked him to call her Nicole.

"Oh, okay. Well, please call me Mike," he replied. "And where is the big guy?"

"Come on in," she said.

This time, Zeus was up and wagging his tail.

"Hey, there! Aren't you a handsome boy," Dr. Mitchell said as he petted the Great Dane.

"You told my assistant he's having some mobility issues. Is there anything else we want to look at? How's the appetite? Is he still playful and taking care of business?"

"Everything else seems fine," she told him.

"Okay. Let's find a place where I can check this guy out," he said.

Twenty minutes later, the vet said he thought it was arthritis.

"Without x-rays, I can't be sure nothing else is going on, but I feel reasonably comfortable with it being a function of age and worn out joints."

He gave her a bottle of Carprofen, the animal equivalent of Ibuprofen, then explained how much to give and how often.

"This will reduce the inflammation and the pain. But it won't make the problem go away, unfortunately," Dr. Mitchell explained.

"Any relief will be welcome," she said after thanking him for the pills.

"Do you take checks?" she asked.

"I do," he said pleasantly as he looked around. "You have a very nice home here."

"Oh, thank you," she told him as she grabbed her checkbook. "It's too big for one person, but I can't bear to leave it."

He didn't know the story, but he did know there was a large diamond ring on her hand, so when she decided to share what had happened to the rest of her family, the good doctor was immediately sympathetic.

"That's just...terrible. I'm so very sorry," he told her as she handed him the check.

Nicole smiled then said, "Thank you. I'm...I'm just now getting to the point where I'm thinking about dating again."

She felt so silly for saying it, she had to look away.

"I'm recently divorced myself," he offered.

"Oh," was all Nicole could think to say in response.

"Say. I know we just met, but I was wondering if you might like to maybe get together sometime."

His offer sounded a whole lot like Eric's, but Mike was someone much closer to her age, so without even thinking she said, "That sounds very nice."

"Wonderful. Would this weekend maybe be okay?"

"Um...sure. Yes, that sounds perfect," she told him without a thought about her inability to go anywhere.

"Great. Well, I'll call you then and we can work out the when and where," he said with a warm smile.

"Sure. I'll look forward to it," Nicole told him before walking him outside.

As he'd promised, Mike called her the next day, and when Nicole suggested her place after fretting for hours about how to make this work, he eagerly accepted. Truth be told, she'd have much rather gone somewhere with him, but just knowing she could dip her toe in the dating pool without having to deal with her 'issue' was a godsend.

For the first time since Tim was alive, Nicole went all out on her hair and makeup and chose the nicest dress she had hoping to make a good impression but also just to make herself feel special again.

As she looked at herself in the mirror, her long, blonde hair stood out in sharp contrast to the black dress she was wearing, and went quite nicely with the gold jewelry she'd chosen to accessorize with. As she turned left then right she thought that perhaps she didn't look her age after all. In fact, she was pretty sure she could pass for 35 without any difficulty, and for some reason, that made her think of Eric who would then only be a mere five years younger than her.

Nicole shook her head, laughed out loud then said, "Yeah, right," as she took a look at the 'caboose' which was still keeping all that 'junk in her trunk' packed quite nicely.

When Mike arrived he was carrying a bouquet of red roses and a bottle of wine and told Nicole she looked stunningly beautiful. She thanked him for both and told him he looked very nice himself.

Within minutes she found herself having a very enjoyable evening. Between his pleasant smile, the intelligent conversation, and his easy laugh, she was very happy she'd agreed to make dinner for him. The only problem was she was already getting short on supplies again and had to get imaginative to come up with something worthy of a first date.

It wasn't much, but Mike told her it was delicious, and by their second glass of wine, Nicole was warming up to the animal doctor more than she'd imagined possible. She offered him a seat on the couch, and when he moved a little too close to her it made her feel uncomfortable, but she didn't say anything. She just scooted over as close to the armrest as she could.

Then out of nowhere he said, "You mentioned how this place is too big for one person. It must get very lonely up here all alone."

Taken aback, Nicole stammered slightly as she replied.

"Um, well, I suppose it does."

She tried not to cringe when he reached over and brushed her hair back, smiled, then said, "That could change."

Without jerking her head away Nicole slowly moved back as far as she could.

"Was that inappropriate?" Mike asked as though her reaction greatly surprised him.

"It...it was very...unexpected," she told him.

"I meant no offense," he said with a smile. "It's just that you're a very beautiful woman, we're both single, and I thought since you invited me to spend the evening with you..."

When he reached over again to touch her hair, Nicole felt her skin crawl.

She stood up and said, "I think it might be best if we called it an evening."

Mike looked at her like she'd just called him 'a fat slob' or worse.

"You're serious? You want me to leave?" he said, the incredulity heavy in his voice.

"Mike. Listen. You seem like a great guy. I think we maybe just got our wires crossed somewhere along the way."

"Well, if you mean asking me to your home on our very first date where you wined and dined me then out of the blue tell me you're not interested, I'd say you're right," he said with no small amount of sarcasm while he also stood up.

"No, Mike. You don't understand. I invited you here because..."

"You know what? Save it," he told her.

He held up dismissive hand and said, "I don't need this."

Stunned, Nicole had no idea what to say. She stood there and watched him grab his jacket then tell her he'd show himself out.

Nicole wasn't just shocked, she was hurt. Deeply hurt. And offended and angry and...and many other emotions.

Of all the ways she'd expected the evening to end, that was not on her list. She didn't actually have a list or any fixed idea in her mind about how things would go, but she'd hoped for some pleasant conversation, and if things had gone really well, possibly a kiss.

Too upset to do anything but want to cry, Nicole sat there for several hours trying to understand what had happened. More importantly, she wanted to know what she could have done to give him such a wildly-wrong impression of her intentions.

Somewhere around one in the morning, she decided it must have been inviting him to her home. She had no idea how many other women would do the same thing under similar circumstances, and yet her circumstances weren't really similar unless these 'other women' also found the thought of leaving their house so incredibly difficult.

By the time she finally fell asleep, she wasn't sure whether to blame herself or chalk it up to Mike being a first-class jerk. And by then she was so mentally exhausted she no longer cared.

When she woke up around noon, it was because of something wet on her face. Nicole opened one eye and saw Zeus's big mug looking at her. He hadn't done that in months, and all she could think of was the Carprofen she'd given him in his 'evening' meal around midnight.

"Hey, boy. You feeling better?" she asked as she reached out to pet him.

His tail was wagging, and it was time for him to go outside anyway, so she threw off the covers and dragged herself out of bed. Her good mood from seeing her dog 'happy' lasted until she sat up and saw her black dress draped across the arm of a chair in the bedroom.

"Ugh," she said as the memories came flooding back.

She grabbed her robe and as she walked toward the kitchen she pulled it on and said, "Come on, boy! Let's go potty."

Nicole opened the door to let him out before turning on the coffee pot she'd gotten ready before going to bed. She watched Zeus through the window and it made her smile to see him bounding around outside almost the way he used to. The medication reduced inflammation and joint pain in animals like it did in humans, so Nicole was still grateful to have met Mike at least for that one reason. She had no idea how long it would be effective, but for now, her dog seemed to have benefitted from his visit even though she hadn't been so fortunate.

As hard as she tried to not dwell on what happened, Nicole found it impossible to let go of the bitter taste the 'date' had left in her mouth. Jerk, ass, misunderstanding, or whatever else it might have been, she was still very upset by it for the next several days.

So when she heard the sound of a car door slamming three days after that, her spirits soared at the thought that it might possibly be Eric. When she peeked out the front window and saw that it was, she nearly ran outside and hugged him. But not wanting to be guilty of sending mixed signals, if she'd even done that with Mike, she waited on the front porch.

"Mornin'," he called out with a bright, cheerful smile.

"Hey, there!" she called back.

"Are you gonna make me carry everything inside?" he asked in that pleasant way of his.

"What? You brought more...vittles?" she said with a laugh as she headed down the steps to the cruiser.

"I did," he replied as he turned around with a half dozen plastic bags strapped to his arms.

"Eric! You do not have to keep doing this," she said, trying to pretend she thought it was way over the top when she was deeply touched by his kindness.

"That's very true. I don't have to keep doing it, but I am going to keep doing it until you're ready to um...get back in the saddle again."

Before he could get up the steps, Zeus came out of the house to meet him. Eric set the bags down and gave the 'Shetland Pony' a good roughing up.

"He's feeling so much better since he's been taking medication for his arthritis."

"Medication?" Eric asked as he picked the bags back up.

"It's called Carprofen."

"Sounds like Ibuprofen," Eric said as Nicole followed him inside, carrying a couple of bags with her.

"Exactly. It works the same way for animals. Anyway, it's really made a difference."

Eric set the bags on the kitchen counter then asked about the vet.

"Did you call someone?"

"I did," she said.

The enthusiasm in her voice waned, and Eric could tell something was wrong.

"Was there a problem?" he asked while he began putting things away.

"Oh, um...not with the house call," Nicole said.

Eric turned around and said, "Nicole? I don't know you all that well, but I know you well enough to know there's something you're not telling me."

"I've unloaded enough of my problems on you. Any more and you'll think I'm a basket case," she said with a smile that wasn't quite right.

"I feel like I proved I'm a decent listener," he told her.

"I won't argue with you about that," she said quietly.

"I can probably carve out a few minutes from arresting criminals for you if you'd like to talk about it," he said, smiling in a way that made her remember she could trust him.

"If I tell you what happened, promise you won't lecture me," she said.

"Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. I'm not even sure why I said that. Maybe once you hear my sad story it'll make sense."

They put the last items away then Eric said, "I'm all yours."

After they sat down, it only took Nicole 30 seconds to explain what happened, but 30 minutes later she was still talking about the way it made her feel.

"How could I have been so wrong about someone? I'm not...stupid. Nor am I naive. And yet I had no idea."

She sat there for a moment then asked, "Do I come off...like that?"

"Like that?" Eric asked for clarification.

"You know, like I'm...coming on or something?"

"At the risk of sounding too much like the man who just assumed things about you, I want you to know you come across as caring, thoughtful, kind, and charming. But there is one area I'll agree with him on based on what you told me."

"You agree with him?" Nicole asked, the look of surprise all over her face.

"No. I don't agree with him, I agree with one thing he said," Eric clarified.

Nicole didn't reply. She just waited for Eric to explain.

"He is right about you being a beautiful woman," he told her.

The sincerity with which he spoke the words was all over his face as well as in his tone of voice.

Nicole sat there and took them in before she allowed herself to smile. It wasn't a full-on, genuine smile, but it was a very courageous effort.

"That's very sweet of you to say," she told him.

This time, Eric didn't reply.

Nicole looked at him then said almost wistfully, "If you were just a little bit closer to my age."

"Then...?" he asked.

"Then I would have accepted your...well, your invitation."

"Are you telling me the only reason you said 'no' was my age?" he asked, his eyebrows raised high.

"No. Well, maybe. Or it could be my age," Nicole said hoping to make it somehow more palatable.

"I still don't know your age—your exact age—but I do know that's the last thing on my list of concerns when it comes to, you know..."

"Dating?" she said knowing that's what he meant.

"I was going to say 'getting to know someone' but, yes...dating."

"But there's this little problem of mine. And I'm not talking about my age."

Nicole smiled then said, "Okay, not just about my age."

"Your age isn't a problem at all," Eric told her. "Not to me anyway. And I think I might have a way to help you work through this...issue."

"Any and all ideas are welcome," she told him. "It's getting to the point where worrying about this becoming permanent is as bad as the 'issue' itself is."

"I have to head back to town, but I've been doing some reading on this, and I found something I think could really help."

"Then I'd like to hear it," Nicole said, her curiosity growing.

"I'd offer to come back this evening, but after what happened, maybe tomorrow during the day would be a better option."

Nicole couldn't believe how at ease she felt around this very kind, very pleasant, much-younger man. Yes, she'd misjudged Mike by a mile, but she was as close to 100% sure Eric would never say or do anything like that as she could be.

"I trust you, Eric. And if you think this could help, I'd say the earlier the better."

"I never want to do anything to jeopardize that trust, Nicole. So while I'd love to come back later today, I'm more than willing to wait."

She only needed a moment to think it over before saying, "No. Please come back this evening. I...I'd like that very much."

"All right. If you're sure," he told her as he stood up to leave.

"Yes. I'm sure," she assured him.

"What time works best for you?" she asked, this time a genuine smile on her face.

"Anytime. You choose," he told her.

"Well, I...we...made breakfast together. Would you maybe like to help me make dinner?"

"Oh, my. You're a brave woman," he teased.

She smiled again and Eric told her he'd love to.

"Maybe eight o'clock?" she asked, hoping that wasn't too late.

"Night owl?" he correctly surmised.

"And how," she admitted. "I didn't used to be. But since...you know...I rarely get to bed before three in the morning and usually even later."

"Okay. I can do eight," he said.

Eric smiled then quickly added, "Well, maybe once."

"I know! I'm so sorry!" Nicole told him. "We always ate around six o'clock, and while eight isn't insanely late it's..."

"Pretty close," Eric said with a smile of his own. "But for you...eight it is."

Nicole thanked him two more times before he left, and once he was gone, she had an almost 'lighter than air' feeling. And although it felt wonderful, it caused her to wonder why in the world a man so much younger than her could make her feel that way.

She didn't have an answer, so for now at least, she intended to 'go with the flow' and try and enjoy feeling good. And after having felt so bad for so many days, she had to admit it felt wonderful to feel good again.

An hour later, Nicole got on her bike the earliest she'd ridden it in months, and ripped through the most intense workout she could remember in just as long. When she got off, she was feeling on top of the world, and for the first time, she asked herself why she was so unwilling to at least try going out with a younger man.

Again, she had no answer to her question, but the words 'go out' caused a good amount of her post-exercise high to disappear. But it came back when she reminded herself why Eric was coming back over. If he had something—anything—that could help her break out of this irrational-but-very-real fear of leaving the property she could quite possibly turn her entire world around before she actually became a shut in. And if that could actually happen, then, well, anything seemed possible.

Nicole showered, and although this was most definitely not a date, she still took the time to style her hair and put on some makeup. Nothing too much. Just a little sheer foundation and some mascara and possibly a lip coat of lip gloss depending on what she chose to wear.

A dress was out of the question. A skirt was too much, too. As she flipped through her things she realized how much she cared about the way she looked, and that thought made her smile.

She had a very nice pair of black pants she hadn't worn in...how long? Three years? No...four. Yes, four, because it had been just over two since she'd bought anything nice for herself to wear, and what she had bought had been purchased on line. Things like underwear and socks and other necessities.

But the pants were clean and had been hanging fully extended so there was no crease or dust on them, and to her great delight, she slipped into the size six perfectly. The last time she'd worn them, she'd also worn a light-blue, long-sleeved cashmere sweater that still made sense. It was a V-neck, and while it might be a little 'deep' for just chatting, it was very pretty, and in the end, Nicole decided it would be perfect.

She added a pair of silver earrings for her non-date then almost put on a matching necklace before thinking that might be a bit much. She laughed at the thought of wearing heels in the house, but she did at least think about it before slipping into some comfortable, black flats.

Her very full-C cup boobs filled out the material quite nicely, and when she recalled Tim referring to them as 'sweater puppets', she laughed out loud. And for the first time since he'd died, recalling a pleasant memory about him didn't make her sad. She didn't have long to think about it, though, as her doorbell rang a few minutes later.