All Comments on 'Sibling Swap'

This was so lame they acted like they were twelve and the Brother came across as a naive wuss.

Wish it had been shorter.

The brother is an asshole! His sister is being bullied and he hears it and does nothing! He is a idiot!

they made a complete fool out of him, tricking him into knocking up both of them, he should have been super pissed at both girls for giving him unwanted babies, he had no choice in the matter, he should say fuck both of you and leave town and let the dumb bitches raise the babies themselves instead of him being a wuss and taking care of them, besides both girls could still be able to go to a doctor and get morning-after pills after he tells them he not going to take care of their babies they tricked him into. Nick was a total asshole too, I gave it 4 stars cause it was a little too long and I was starting to lose interest in it.

Don't listen to the dumbasses complaining about story length. They could see it was 9 pages. You even told them it was gonna be long at the very beginning. It was just the length it needed to be. With a good incest story, buildup is everything. I liked the twist at the end too. 5 stars

That was so damn hot! I would have loved to hear Rachel admit to Andy, now that he knows the truth that she wants him to impregnate her and Lindsay

Is there going to be a sequel??

So good wish you had an epilogue to let us know what happens to the trio and duschebag!

I too hope you add more to the story

Make another sequel

Very well written, awesome characters development! Wouldn't mind if there were even more pages :)

Glad to see you're experimenting with different plots and relationships, all of your stories are unique in a way ;) Especially impressed by "Your Brother has to Cum" and "We Can Go Too Far", would absolutely love to read something new in that direction.

Looking forward to your new incest stories!

Spectacular writing, so much so it feels like a shame that your talents are going to (a very much appreciated) waste on here. So much of that story hit very close to home, things put into words that I had never been able to describe myself. The only problem I found (sarcasm btw) was that no way a virgin could be so adept with his mouth first go. 9.5/10

This was done amazingly, minus a couple grammar errors. I loved all the red herrings and foreshadowing done in the story, as well as the twisting resolution at the end. The incorporation of the Porn was great, and I loved how both sides were duping each other. Well done, and please write more incest for us!

Continue the Dirty Naked Poker story with a threesome with Emma and Kristen

I liked the ending but it should have been more towards the middle or maybe another 1/2-1 page from the end. There was some room to have some more interesting things once Rachel was found out to be the "Mastermind".

The main story was much too long with repetitive action. Could have explored Nicks Douchebaggery a bit more. Maybe a little confrontation and competition for both girls between Nick and Andrew.

Could have even expanded and explored the jealousy factor between Andrew and Rachel from Andrew's perspective. He could have even balked at participating here or there from his jealousy, thereby throwing a "Wrench" in the "Masterplan" and sparking some new thoughts and emotions from both Lindsay and Rachel. Possibly even creating a new competitive dynamic between Lindsay and Rachel.

For sharing your Prana, grateful am I. May the Goddess alight a path towards love, joy, and happiness along your self'determined life'cycle...

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Every page of the story was erotic....

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The twist at the end was great, however from a purely literary perspective it may have been better for the protagonist to impregnate them half way through the story... impregnation technically is supposed to take at least three days for the sperm to break through the egg's defenses.

Then have the protagonist hear that bombshell a page or two earlier, at the end of the third act or beginning of the fourth.

However, as said it is great as is... just opinions from the perspective of mine, and hopefully they help. How utterly ruthless Rachel seems in the big reveal is also very compelling to me...

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Being best'friends can explain the hate on Lindsey's brother, but from who/what/when/why/where did Rachel desire come, to premeditatedly manipulate her brother into becoming a father of a child with her... without him actually really having a conscious choice free of coercion...?... sense she knew him so well...

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On a more technical note, the story is more of the NonConsensual/Reluctant variety, as Lindsey's brother is axed out of an actual 'sibling swap'. In addition, the relations between the character names was a little confusing to me...

I'm so sorry I just read that. I love all your other stuff, and you did fairly warn us with the foreword, but man oh man was this one a real downer in every way. Nevertheless, I can see why it was worth the risk of committing to (virtual) paper, and can recognize it as very well written (as is all your other stuff!). Keep writing, just this one was not for me.

You hit the marks from start to finish. I would say it’s publishable, except the primary marketplace won’t allow straight incest works any more. Definitely deserves the high scores, a total 5.

I was hard the entire time I read this. I really liked the tenderness Andrew had for both girls. Excellent story. I can't wait for more - Thank you !!

excellent laid out story.....was long but as someone pointed out you told everybody up front... I did cum with them in one section... good job !!!!

First of all I really enjoy your work and writing style!

This was oddly erotic... I say oddly because it was just enough of possible real life events with enough of the taboo to make me feel dirty, but in a really good way. Little ole Nicky was a douche. I wanted to punch him in the dick multiple times. He ending was really hot. The plot twist was epic. I wasn’t a huge fan of how much effort was put on the forced impregnatjon talk but found it hot he came in both.

I surly hope there is more to come.

Didn’t like the whole pregnancy bit

Everyone is unlikable until the last page. At least it's hot.

This was a good story with a nice twist but could use some editing. There were a couple of places (at least) where it went from first person to third. "I grabbed her butt"; "I listened outside the door" - first person. She reached between her brother and her best friend - you're the brother! - that's third person. "She reached between ME and her best friend."

Also, you should go through this with a search feature. Find every instance of "little blond" and replace 8 out of 10 with "she" or "her." Then do the same with "tiny blonde" and "sexy blond."

very good don't care what others said. ending was a very good surprise

Wow! What a fantastically hot story. Loved the twist at the end where Rachel turns out to be the mastermind, not the victim. Of course some suspension of disbelief is required, but the impregnation theme is so hot!

i enjoyed this story a lot.

Regarding the first person / third person comment. The story could use some editing for consistency - it switches from me/my to him/his a few times. On the other hand, I would leave the one example mentioned in the comment alone. It's perfectly valid to use a phrase like 'she was touching her brother' even if the narrator is the brother, if the context makes it sensible. It's emphasizing the sibling nature of the act, from her perspective. Such a valid use is very rare though, and the him/his stuff should be cleaned up.

The story is great, but you probably just zoned out while writing and mentioned the Callahan's texting instead of calling - in 1996, texting really wasn't a thing yet.

The brother was more then will to do his sister he even wanted to I don't understand what the game was. Why did she need to act like she didn't her brother could have popped her cherry instead of dealing with that other crap first.

The story had a good flow.. The ending tho, I cant see that happening. Was he so glad he didnt rape his sister that he was willing to have sex with both of them??

I dont see how he would feel like that. If it was me and I was beating my self up for forcing someone to do something like have sex all the way when they didn't want it. Then to hear it was just some game and they really did want it... I would have been so mad and disgusted at them for making me feel bad. I wouldn't be thinking about sex. I would chew them out.

Also the first SMS message was sent in 1992.

Store is good, but it seams like the store is just getting started. Do they continue the three some ?? Does the other brother join in ?? Do the girls get pregnant ?

"It was funny to me that my sister and Lindsay were best friends, because Rachel was almost the exact opposite of her blonde best friend. Rachel had brown, wavy hair that hung just past her shoulders. Long dark lashes and emerald eyes."

So, in order to be friends, you have to look alike? Or were you looking for a way to describe your sister and thought, I'll use that well-trodden literary vehicle of how they looked different so, jeez, how could they ever be friends?

I wish I could write more but I have to go break the news to my soon-to-be ex-friends that we have different colored hair.

I don't know if you felt that you needed some twist at the end there, but I think the story would have been much better without it. Why not just leave it as a sister being honest and wanting her brother? It would have made more sense that way. As others have mentioned, why was it necessary in the first place when everyone was willing. I would also be pissed at being deceived like that, and would probably never trust them. While at first I enjoyed the story up to the ending, the very end even ruined that, as it made many of their actions seem pointless, as if the sister wanted it, they could have just not separated the two during the movies as much as they did, and Rachel could have just slowly seduced her brother and nudged him into breaking the taboo. In summation, sometimes the obvious path is the best to take, in this case, Rachel and Lindsey being honest about wanting the MC's dick, and nudging him along instead of being overly complex and manipulative.

Honestly bro great story. Few flaws and the ones that are present can be fixed with experience. The ending was fine, fun little twist. You did very well

I loved all the special twists, up front, in the middle, later on with retro information, like a brother-sister visit to a strange house with no bedroom doors, yes, I wanted to do that the first time my step-daughter slammed her door, I promised to remove it entirely if she ever did that again. The brother-sister TV cuddling turns into a neighbor swap cuddling which flips back into a brother-sister sexual revolution, driven by mutual lusts manipulated by a somewhat devious sibling plot. And the more erotic portions were exceptionally stimulating, very well crafted, thanks very much!!

Enjoyed your story but at 19 I had been in the Navy for over a year and worked on the Cuban blocked 60 miles from coast of Cuba, and then hade to ride out a hurricane wile on picket duty. For your story fit into Literotica rules you had to put the ages as they are, but had to point out how hard it was to take that angle.

the twist was interesting and all but sounds a little sudden. If you had dropped hints throughout the story that it was Rachel all along it would have been better

please

you dont need to make others bad for make u look good . u do this every time man .

Well I certainly didnt see that plot twist coming but I am kinda sad that she pleased Nick so many times when she clearly doesnt like him. I understand that she had to do something so that she would be with her brother and free her best friend Lindsey from the asshole but that still doesnt go right with me... aside from that, the sex scenes were awesome and extensive which I like very much so I still gave 5-stars because of that and since it ended in such a good way... BUT that whole thing with Rachel pleasing Nick while she didnt like him one bit perhaps even hated him for what he did to her best friend, made me consider 4-stars.... Call me a hypocrite, call me whatever you like but that`s how I am wired, almost never do the means justify the end...

after Lindsay and Andrew went ot her parents bedroom to get some privacy, I am curious to what really happened to Nick and Rachel... Did it really go as she said or did she fake her crying, made a story and said to Nick to go fuck himself? or something like that? I am really curious

Oh my gosh, you totally got me. The ending was sublime. I was like, "What even am I reading, who are these crazies". The pushing of the sister was a little hard to read during the story but you totally bamboozled me. Great story telling.

First of all, awesome didn't see that coming !!!!!

That said , I really wanna see a twisted ending where nick really does get what he wants in the cruelest, slowest most devastating way possible.

What can I say, my mind is really fucked up.

Incest and cukolding with a long story like this really turns me on!!

Hope you'll consider this

Great story, thanks for sharing. We don't know if they're preggers though. The finish of the story for me is not. Then both girls get fitted for IUD's; then they fuck like rabbits, endive happily ever after. He marries Lindsey and little sis Rachel live with them in a polymeric relationship. Each woman has two kids a boy and girl each. Then... what could possibly happen after that?

The ending does explain why Rachel took her shirt right off so freely when Nick was going to go down on her - it seemed a bit contrived at the time. It also makes any "dangerously close to non-consent" a fiction within a fiction, as Rachel's reluctance was faked.

Of course, in real life they're too young for getting pregnant to be a good idea, although the chances of even one getting pregnant from just one time is low. Admittedly the story made it pretty clear that it wouldn't be just one time.

It also seems a bit premature for Lindsay and Andy to be getting together permanently - their mutual crush is in large part simply due to her being around so much and thus the most available girl to crush on, if he'd ruled out his sister, and him being the most available guy for her to crush on. As depicted in the story he seems to be a great guy for Lindsay to get together with, although it's not so clear the other way, perhaps because of Rachel's and Lindsay's agenda affecting how Lindsay presents. Part of the problem would be that they're inexperienced - Andy was a virgin, and Lindsay's previous experience was limited to her asshole brother.

Yeah not my favorite

I like your stories we've talked about them. This one though, I hate coercion and manipulation. Andrew should be Pissed. (IMO) Could he get over it ; sure. But being deceived that way would loose trust and I'd have a real problem with that. Just how I am. Luckily it's a story and not real, and I didn't write so it doesn't matter ITLR.

This story is probably one of the only erotic stories that has gotten this much emotion out of me. In particular, anger at Nick. I have never in my life been so pissed at a piece of writing. I just wanted to knock that dudes teeth in. The author did a really good job at pulling on the audience’s assumed past experiences (ie them being a brother of some sort) and using them to get you unreasonable pissed. While that is interesting and it personally prevent me from enjoying the story until the last scene, and this could be considered a pro due to the author building up the tension while preventing you from going at it, however with a story this long I like to get 2-3 good scenes.

Fuck I just wrote a well thought out review on a piece of f-ing erotica. Well I guess it’s a testament to how much this story pulled at my anger.

The plot of this story doesn't make any sense. First it was Nick manipulating and cohersing Lindsey. then it was Lindsey and finally it turned out to be Rachel. If it was Rachel along why +would she agree to do all that shit with Nick. Weird.

Wow, wasn’t a bad storyline. The ending was brilliant, who would’ve thought..

Kaiser Sosé. Not quite a literal masterpiece as some have posited. But I think it is in the upper crust of smut lit.

Well that was quite the twist! I do hope he is upset about his own sister manipulating him though. Both her and Lindsey kind of deserve to be punished for that ;) Really though, Lindsey was constantly stopping him early on >.> She's a tease so she should be spanked and teased and kept on edge ahaha~! And Rachel definitely deserves a spanking and hopefully she is naturally submissive, it would be poetic in the end if she became submissive to him after all that manipulation because, well, she did it out of love so its easily forgivable, she got her friend out of a bad relationship, and everyone ended up happy. Lindsey needs to really open up and be honest with him though, then they can be together happily because they really are cute together!~

I read this a couple weeks ago, basically half asleep and decided to have a go again. This time it hit home. This round I got what was in the last few lines the author wrote. Looking back through the magic mirror I see how our lives would have been now, when years ago, had I not chickened out when my sister wanted me to spend the night with her and her hot best friend in a tent that was in our shared back yard. Also, I have no doubt that is why I am into this genre of stories and why I left home that summer. Going to leave this comment as 'anonymous' for the obvious reason.

Needs a sequel

Good story up til the twist at the end. Making Rachel the manipulative one kind of detracted from the end, even if MC accepted it.

Enjoyable read that kept my attention, and brought a memory back to mind!

I never saw Rachel as the mastermind.

What an Excellent twist at the end,

Nick was an ASS and got what he deserved.

Lindsey got her reward.

Andrew was the.big winner. Two beautiful women to share for ever.

Rachel —- AWESOME plot , incredible sty telling.

I will write later

Good premise.

But sex happens too automatically. No real foreplay. No good descriptions of how it felt, pretty much just that it happened. Boom!

Gave up on page three.

Three stars.

Wonderful

I love your stories but virtually every single one of them feels like they end too soon, they need an epilogue or that they all need sequels.

Kinda drives me crazy, lol.

First I have to admit that I thought this was stupid when I first started reading it. An 18 and 19 year old going to stay with someone because their parents were going out of town for a week? Come on. At the very least an aunt grandparent or family friend could have stayed to make sure nothing "bad" or "unusual" happened. Then it got worse ( I'll be brief here), 4 18 and 19 year old (adults) not a one having a job of any kind, being in bed at 8:30, no chores or responsibilities, 2 being complete virgins, (not even kissing anyone), Andy not Ever having a drop of alcohol his whole life, etc. This was completely unrealistic. I almost stopped reading MANY times at the beginning. But figured I'd give it a try. Then I thought about it, with the guidelines of this site, they had to be at least 18 and 19, for the brothers to be older. Where in all actuality, these were more like 11 and 12 yr olds or 12 and 13 yr olds, (or that area, maybe a little older) With the rules, the babysitting, and the things they were doing, getting a first kiss, sneaking into parents porn, switching make out partners, etc. There were somethings we did as young kids that hit home on some of the things. Again, as "young kids". Sorry, but I HAD to address the age thing. Nick was a total douche as many others have stated. And there were a Lot of twists and unexpected turns in this. Especially the very end. I did like the thought or thing of the three of them being together though. Forever would be nice. The way that Rachel and Andrew felt about each other, Lindsey and Rachel could have VERY easily convinced Andrew to do what they all did without all the devious scheming. In my opinion. It was a Good read and a Very Good story though. And a second part about the three would be nice, but being three years since being written seems unlikely. I'm sure I'm missing things, but we don't need the this comment being as long as the story. Thanks for writing this. Great job!

The beginning was over the top ridiculous. 18 and 19 year olds are adults. The whole scenario was completely unreal. Then I thought the author had to make them 18 and 19 because of Literotica rules. If they were under age, say 15 and 16 or so, it makes more sense, but unpublishable. It's well written, if you forget the age. The inexperience, the gradual build up, the games kids might very well play, exploring their fantasies while alone in the house all day. Some of the drama seemed overdone and Andrew being so dim was a little too much, but overall, (forgetting the age problem), it was very well done. That is until the end when it went completely off the rails. Certainly young teens loose control and don't pull out in time, have unprotected sex. Unwanted teen pregnancy's are not uncommon. It happens. But, from that point forward it just got stupid! The ridiculous plot between the two girls. The oboy, I'm pregnant so now we'll be together forever and ever. Sure! There's nothing authentic about any of that. With one set of parents not trusting their kids alone and the other parents removing all the doors, Andrew would be banished or arrested and the girls either forced into abortions or whisked off to a home for unwed mothers. Then probably a convent. Too bad, it was pretty good up to that point. 3 stars, could have been 5.

Nice plot twist at the end

Some of the comments are just plain rude. While every single part of the story was not perfect, its a whole lot better than many stories I've read.

If folks don't like the stories I challenge them do write a story and see how much they appreciate the rudeness.

It one thing to attempt constructive criticism of someone work but being a complete asshole is different. Its too bad you can't block the assholes from making derogatory and unhelpful critisicms.

Of course that's my unhelpful comment😁

Keep up the great writing !!!

I dug it.

A great fantasy and also great fun!

I understand the point, the fact that if you don't cover enough sexual energy and diligence with character development it diminishes interest in storyline. That said the was entertaining. maybe some a bit more the girl's plotting crafting their secret desires and boys and men tend to be one sided less knowledge about sex . I for One find your story very well written and enjoyable read. Thank you for taking to write your story.

What an ending, in the tradition of the great 'who-done-it's'.

This was insanely good!! Really loved it!!

One of the best I've read on here. Great job.

Man, would have been good if the plot didnt depend on protagonist being brain drained and Nick being a cliche asshole. Some realism would also be nice so everything doesnt just seem silly.

Can you write more to this story.

Great work. Personally dont like the manipulation but great writing none the less.

This is totally nuts. Seeing their children getting it on, the parents should have bought condoms by the boatload. Lindsay could have used foam. Ever heard of Plan B? Of course now, after the Supreme Court has done its thing and brought us back to the 1950s by overturning Roe vs. Wade, if this story takes place in a red state there will soon be a lot fewer options for sex crazed teenagers. Let's hope the court and the ugly men in the legislatures keep birth control an option. Good luck,

I fell asleep after the first two pages. Lost my desire to bust. Great story if you are practicing abstinence.

Woaaaaah, amazing!!!! Would give you 10 stars

Anon, you are only supposed to read the first and last page, that way you stay awake. xD

Very good until we got to the part where Lindsay was pushing Rachel to screw her brother unprotected I left here. Andrew need to grow some balls and not just for making cum.

Andy should been more handy and fucked Nick up. But all in all great ending and would change it.

I love your stories. This one is not a favorite only because of the deviance and reluctance of his sister. Not only was it unrealistic (unless it really happened, as you suggested) but I didn't like the lack of love. Your other stories have such a great love between siblings, but this one felt cold.

Great Cliffhanger at the end!! We need A Part 2 or additional chapters to address the open questions and to take advantage of the opportunities presented by your story. What happened to Nick? Does he complicate things? How do the parents react? Are the girls really pregnant? And it not, what happens? What happens on the other two days while all 4 kids are there? How do the pregnancies go? Is there constant sex while they are pregnant? How about the girls packing on some pregnancy pounds and lactating? So much to write about for your waiting fans!

yoooooo. when im reading this your at 69 stories. fiting if you ask me

Intense, erotic naughtiness!! Thank you!

Another 5 star tale. Too bad there are not 10 stars to give. This one didn’t have the ending it deserved though. Did the girls get pregnant? One or both? What were the Living arrangements ?

This really needs a new chapter.

This author is amazing with his imaginative settings. Simply superb! The only dissatisfaction I’ve had with any stories is the lack of a good ending, but then he has more great endings than most.

Bill S.

OH MY!

Hmm not sure what I think about it yeah it was a interesting turn of events however I don't like how you made the dude Andrew into such a coward no matter who was really behind the whole thing I mean seriously that is his sister as soon as he seen how the other guy treated his sister Andrew should have stopped everything right then but he didn't cause you made him into a coward if he couldn't defend his sister and the other girl during that time no way he can protect both of them and children if there pregnant with that issue I'll give a 3 star rating cause the twist at the end but the way you made him to be killed the story you should have wrote his character better

"My little sister's giant gazoogas." My coffee shot straight out my nose.

I agree whole hardheartedly with Mfkndragon.

I usually like these longer stories. I can't say the same for this one. Andrew can't even be considered a beta male, no he's delta male all the way. Nick is asshole. The girls were apparently really good at acting and scheming. There were just too many red flags that Andrew should have acted on. The fact that he didn't beat Nick at any point is sad enough. Personally I would have beat him unconscious then helped him "fall" down the stairs to his parents that second night. Not addressing the Nick issue even once makes him beta. I mean there were just soooo many reasons to throughout the story. The fact that after the beta makes it to the end and learns of the true scheme and is all okay with his drops him to delta.... These two girls just used him, violated any and all trust that many have been beteen them, then tried to use a pregnancy entrapment ploy to make him take care of them. Come on man... grow a pair. Pray neither actually gets pregnant and run not walk away as fast as you can. If they were able to execute that plan so well then you want nothing to do with them, if they tried to execite that plan and failed you STILL want nothing to do with them. Save yourself a lot of trouble, pain, and more than likely an "accidental" death down the line. They are proven intelligent schemers, that this was their scheme shows them a least a touch on the crazy side. Whats scarier than a crazy girl? A scheming crazy girl. Whats worse than that? An intelligent crazy scheming girl. You are dealing with two, who happen to be working together, against you. Run. For. The. Hills. Change your name a couple times in the next few years, move around a lot, try to find jobs paying in cash. Drop any and all forms of social media. Maybe look into putting a ocean between you.

Lots of great dialogue in this story. Also this “ "It's OK," I said. It wasn't really, but I also knew I was going to get more mileage out of being a good brother rather than a horny boy.”

I really liked the story. Five stars from me ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After all those pages of reading my star vote went from a high of 4 down to 2 stars.

This story just got to be too absurd.

I never like the 'Nick' character at all. His sister seemed fun but Rachael....How many times did we need to be reminded of her chest?

And being so promiscuous but then fucking un-protected at the end was ludicrous.

2 stars for getting me to read all the chapters.

Okay so I gave it 5 stars...but like Andrew in the story, I'm not sure how I feel about it. Nice twist ending.

This is really sad.

Up until the end I was figuring 5 stars. But then I read your ending and after thinking about it I only gave it 3 stars. The ending changed my mind.

Bill S.