All Comments on 'Siblings Lives SEALed Together'

wow,,,,,,just wow. thoroughly enjoyed every word

Fantastic story and first effort. I eagerly look for to the next chapter, hoping they get their fairly tale happily ever after ending, married raising their 3 or 4 kids. Can't wait, 5 stars. Thank you

Great character development. It really adds to the emotions of the people in the story and makes it a more satisfying experience all around. I wish more authors would realize this and create such great works like you have here. Can't wait for part two.

After muddling through all the garbage that was poor grammar, I can't believe you graduated college. Please do not write anything ever again. God help us all if you are ever placed in a position of import.

Awesome great story! More please!

What a wonderful story. A great build up please continue

MORE=MORE-MORE--PLEASE

Hay “Sargent”57 ,

Most interesting story. I did enjoy it tremendously because of the ‘body’ of information pertaining to Brandon and Trish and the turmoil that had within their own “world” or conscience. Trish seem to take the place of Brandon’s Mom as a person of affection and visa-verse, Brandon taking the place of their lost father: A totally natural fulfillment; Siblings subconsciously and automatically filling the emptiness of the loss of a parent; It is a very natural having experienced a loss and a fulfilling in my younger life.

It is nice to run into a ‘love’ story and not just a story of sex, sex, sex. However, a couple of little slip ups...I think… you do know that the ‘back-grown’ checks in the military (especially ‘Special Forces’) is so complete that a fake ID and Birth Certificate (that cannot be independently verified) would throw out so many ‘red flags’ that a “TOP, TOP SECRET” clearance would never be approved for any OPS squad. I figure no one else will ever notice that. Being dyslexic, I could not see the difference in the old Brandon name and the new but, for the story sake, I knew that they had to be different.

The other puzzling thing is “Mom” attitude toward her son. Being the ‘only surviving male’, most mom’s would not push a son (or daughter) away because of “A childhood expression of I want to follow in Dad’s footsteps”. Was there more to mom's anger that kept her from loving and caring for her son? A little puzzling but something necessary for your story. Perhaps part two could go into a little more depth to explain “Mom” anger and deriding of her son’s wish to honor his father.

I did not look at the date on your “first” story and was shocked to see that this was a new writing for you… It is very good and well balanced. But I wanted the PART TWO to continue with the story and you just posted part one so I guess I am a ‘fan’ and anxiously waiting for the ‘rest of the story’.

Have fun writing. It is a good, well balanced story with just enough suspense to be seductive.

Your Fan,

Crusader T Rabbit

First off,,, by and large a great story that was quite entertaining and a notch above the usual drivel for a new author. Incest is a difficult venue to get right and have it sound plausible, you did manage a story that balanced out nicely.

Second of all,,, get someone to proof read your work. Not just a person to look at the plot, but to check your grammar and spelling. Far too many times a "s" was omitted or a word was omitted.

Thirdly,,, keep writing please. This was far too enjoyable to not see another submission.

Can't wait for part 2. Good writing. Thanks

I liked the writing, I liked the premise, but navy seals have been done to death... everyone was a seal as well... Brandon, Derrik, the policeman, his cousin, etc.

However, the writing was good... the story plausible, I agree with the missing letters... once you referred to Brandon as Brando (made me smile though!).

gave you 5* anyway, and looking forward to part 2.

WOW! That was awesome. I really liked the fact that this story wasn't all about sex. Gave you a 5*! Please do keep writing :)

Thanks for sharing a great read.

Yes, 57Sgawd, you need an editor for the little details, but for the main thing, the STORY, you were GREATER than great! A bit long, but I felt, at the end, that Trish and Brandon were buddies I'd known since childhood, and I CARED about them! Great development! That is something that very seldom happens to any large degree in these stories, but it was true here. These two deserve a long and happy life together, and I hope you provide it in any future chapters. Thank You!!

...I have to put on my retired sergeant's hat and say we old fogeys get a little irritated when someone (veteran or not) writes something about the military that just is never going to happen. As was mentioned above, nobody with a falsified birth certificate is ever going to get a security clearance higher than "confidential", if that. Which means that, instead of finishing initial training, they are going to be court martialed for violation of Article 83 due to their fraudulent enlistment. Possible penalty? Dishonorable discharge and two years confinement in a military prison.

A good story (typos and grammar errors excepted). If you do a rewrite, find some way to get him into the Navy legally. If you need ideas, contact me.

Old Broken Down Military Guy

It's petty officer not petty office. Just bustin balls I fucking loved it alot im an ex sailor and my name is Brandan so yes I love the story

Exultant story

Great! A Navy Seal with 4 little inbred kids! What could be better? Right?

As was suggested, please get editorial help. Plenty of mistakes here.

That said, while I can't speak to the veracity of the claims by former military personnel here, I for one didn't get bothered by any of the inaccuracies they mentioned. And while I'm usually thrown off, often enough to stop reading, by spelling/grammar errors, your story was so spellbinding that even all the mistakes didn't keep me from finishing your story.

Your talent is obvious; clean up the minutiae and your stories will be even better!

Amazing story. It was captivating, had a great build up and was very sexy. Please continue to write.

I loved your story, and am looking forward to the continuation., With a few minor issues, your storyline and delopment are excellent.

I agree with other comments that a GOOD editor would greatly help. I also suggest some help writing dialogue. Literotica member Whispersecret wrote an excellent How To on that subject. I believe that the title is something like "Making your characters talk." Her submission has grearly helped me in my writing outside of Literotica.

If you Google Literotica Whispersecret, I'm sure you can find her submission.

So looking forward to more!!!!

and they have a lot to work through

The Seal would have had to have a Top Secret Security Clearance. That includes a full Background Check.. Including a certified copy of the original Birth Certificate, from the local records office. I suspect he would have had problems with clearing that with a forged Certificate. Again I love the story. just a little error on the basic concepts.

This was a great story. Your plot and character development were spot on. Had one commenter not mentioned the security clearance situation, I would not have caught it. I was in the Navy. I had at least two if not three or four security checks due to my rating. Keep writing.

This would have to be one of the best if not the best stories I've read on literotica , amazing.

What can I say, I think the previous comments left by the other readers says it all. Well done. 5 stars just doesn't seem enough......

Thank you for writing this excellent tale. I really liked the way you wove the two couples' stories together. I found this story to be largely about relationships, the man/woman ones for each dyad and the one between the couples, although this latter one could be developed further. Finally, I liked the ending paragraph and its noting that Trish and Brandon's conversation shifted between expressing individual wants to that of "we" (read relationship) needs. And that it was seemingly done unconsciously.

Horrible, childish writing! I couldn’t make it past Brandon’s giving Trish his t-shirt. Your grammar is terrible! Did you finish high school English with anything better than a C minus? Not if you had been in my class! And had you been one of my grad students and written that poorly, you wouldn’t have your advanced degree!

Never mind the worthless opinions of the 'Anonymous' grammar and spelling can be fixed with a good editor and beta reader. The difficult part is having a compelling story that holds the attention, and you sir have done that kudos! 5⭐️