All Comments on 'Side Effects'

I loved it, especially the ending. I'm very happy that Julie accepted her feelings and it ended well for them both. Great story in every respect.

I don't usually go into the mind control genre because it seems its always over the top ridiculous. This story had real heart. Thanks!

what a great story truly made my heart smile. see this, this is how MC should but they cant be brainless all the time it makes them a shell >.>. on a side personal note main character with the names having the same letter is annoying. loved the story though 5 golden starts!.

This one is a real gem of a Mind Control story. Normally it's the internal struggle that gets me going; the "zombie mode" stuff isn't usually my, cup of tea. But the way you wove it into the story worked exceptionally well. The characters' nervousness, their trust, their relationship and the ways it progressed, all of it was very well written.

Stories should make the reader feel, and right now I feel all warm and fuzzy. This story has heart, and that's what makes it great.

Well written, and the inner dialogue was good. Our protagonist wanted to know what it was like to be controlled, and I think a lot of women has those types of fantasies, but I the story got subverted by the 'zombie' mode. The initial moments of control, where the subject was aware of their inability to act on their own, was hot. But, the 'zombie' mode took it out of the mind-control realm, imo, and into the just-plain-drunk realm. If you don't know what you're doing, is it really that bad? Is it erotic? Without the inner dialogue to consciously counter what the body is doing, it was kinda bland.

The heat of the story was in the control, not how the characters reacted to the control after the fact.

I'd love to know if the lesbian relationship that developed was a result of genuine feelings or subliminal 'residue' from the control. What are the unintended consequences of the pill's use? What happens if you take a second pill while under the influence of the first pill? Does the duration of effect double, or is it exponential? Do the commands stick for longer? Do the commands manifest even after the 'zombie' mode fades away and conscious control is regained? The scientist in me is aching for more research and experimentation, and that drive to know wasn't really explored by the scientist in the story. Common questions that should have been addressed by a "scientist".

Just because you lost your editor doesn't mean you don't need one - or at least a reader. Watch the homonyms (particularly, to/too) and the abbreviation for 'advertisement' is 'ad'. You write well, but it's impossible for authors to see most of their own simple mistakes, because they read what they meant, not what they wrote.

Thank you for the fantastic story! I was hooked in the first paragraph and couldn't stop reading.

Liked it very much, well done and keep writing.

This is beautiful. I love you.

Well done.

that's amazing. very hot. but it would have been perfect if they had a man to join in a threesome as a master or a controlled one

Thank you for sharing this story with me.

I've loved this story from the very beginning; it's lovely build-up and the characters are very fine.

Thank you for the lovely time you gave me while reading it.

Five stars because i can't vote more stars.

Wish you the best

Loved the premise and the growing needs and hunger that drove the girls to more. Then a great twist to find out they had been interested in each other, not only sexually, but as intimate partners all along. VERY good! Well done!

It turned into a love story, well done!

It was a lovely build up to the inevitable 'natural' lesbian relationship. Unlike anon who wanted a man to join in, this was better in my view left as it was.

for this excellent story. There was a sweetness to your characters which is rare on this sex heavy site; I was rooting for them. You were able to capture the evolution of two women moving towards something that might have always been there through the development of the characters and not by having the writer simply state it. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

You have written a marvelous story. You had a good plot, great character development, and flow in your story to pull us through the journey of Julie and Jayne. Oh by the way, the sex was a complete turn-on.

There are other good writers on Literotica. You may be the best. Thank you so much for a great love story.

God girl, you have a real way. Damn, I'm as wet as Lake Michigan!

That has got to be the #1 story in this genre. I mean, mind control-lesbian-romance and first time for good measure. OMG, is there anything hotter!?

Ditto the comments on plot, character development and all that but Fuck... So hot and beautiful.

Now why can't I write like that? ;(

asianToy

Sweet, tender, kinky, loving, emotional, and escaping the binary sub/dom thing in a really smart way. This is a great story, and I came twice reading it! :P

This really is a very good story. I've been playing with the Lesbian Mind Control theme for some time, but this is far better than anything that I've come up with. I'm looking forward to reading your future work.

Adored this story. Wasn't over the top. Very well written and didn't get bogged down in too much detail. Take out the mind controlling pills (which I love the idea of), a totally believable story of two girls coming to terms with and developing their love.

Is it too much to ask for you to come back with a follow up?

Brilliant just brilliant

so romantic

Ok so... My favourite Chinese restaurant near my house is called Jade Garden and they have the same foods you described in the story. What is this, the Matrix???

I loved this! A slow burn mind control story where the romance feels pretty realistic! Kudos to you (: