All Comments on 'Sindara Ch. 01'

Nice beginning, but please proofread more closely. The mixture of 1st and 2nd person pronouns should be corrected.

This is good. Keep it coming.

Is this a first person story or second? You veer between I/you in multiple places.

MORE MORE MORE

Great story concept! You need to stick to a single perspective. Am I the main character, are you the main character, or are they the main character? Please, find an editor to help you out or at least read through it yourself a few times before you publish. A little help to polish things up could take this from a great concept to an amazing story.

Good start, hope to see more

It is a good start, but you need to proof read for errors.

Other than consistancey in perspective(i dont mimd switching between caracters, but dont go between 1,2, and 3 person that often, and an ocasional proof read would help) the only thing i wana say is MORE MORE MORE MORE, ect. ect.

Plot is very good. Shifting of tense between they I and you makes it slightly harder to read

Admins took the chapter down for a short while, so I took the opportunity to edit and polish it a bit to fix the pov flipping between I and you. Second chapter is in pending status as of this comment.

This looks cool.... waiting for chapter 2

It's a decent start but there are some editing issues still mixed in. A few times words were missing or a word that didn't fit was used.

it sounds like it is going to be a good story