by Tom Rock
The title to this comment says it all. If one is going to try to write in a particular language, one should learn the language, including grammar and tenses. Failing that, the author should avail himself of the services of one of the volunteer editors at this site. As it stands, this story is crudely written and, as a result, not erotic at all.
Crude, badly written & what the fuck is that ad at the end for.
Don't people ever proof read their stories
I thought that a few errors in the language made the story more interesting and very asian...quite endearing.
not bad - make sure you get the money up front and the camera fully loaded. You will strike out but the humiliation of watching her fuck others will proudly fill your empty nights. Keep her bags packed as she will leave or you will ask her to soon thereafter.
Sick and pathetic author - self cuckolding is darkly subhuman and against human convention. Get your marriage such as it is some help as this will eventually be its end.
Some fantasy sick one!
there are no errors, it is perfect english. just very singaporean, it makes the story feel quite athentic. so all you ignorant readers out there can leave the negative feedback out. I suggest you look at a globe sometime, there is more than one country, america is not always right.
I loved reading about the thick hairy pussy. I'd like more info about such a sweet thing.
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