All Comments on 'SinSation Pt. 01'

If you insist on writing in english, please. Get help with it. Yours is definitely not good enough for publication.

Seven inches of girth would be equivalent to someone's thigh.

You have to continue

You need to work on your prose. American English is neither spoken nor written like that. Your way of writing makes the story very difficult to follow.

Very boring...

did you use a translation program?

I really liked your story, as you are not American you don't have to write just to please America, they don't realise there are other countries u

Not bad. Most of the readers are American, and they tend to be harsh.

This type of fertility issue is quite common -- the girl is healthy enough to conceive, yet somehow it must be her fault if she's not pregnant. Asking about the husband's fertility just invites abuse and accusations because he's a man.

The real danger is staying to continue indulging her lust with her kid brother. An electric toy is better. Once the first child is born, she can come back and dip from the well again for another child. But people aren't always rational when it comes to sex or love.

The mistakes do detract a bit, but it's not awful. Always spellcheck before uploading; doing that would have caught a few errors. If you can, post in the forums for editors; they can help improve your command of English. Writing well in English takes more skill than speech. Don't be discouraged! Keep at it. I will give 4*

Nice story Sis