All Comments on 'Sis Cured Ill Brother'

You need serious help with grammar. All she had on was a t shirt and a panty? She came in to assure the condition? Kissing your necks? Her mouth is full of my white bloods? She took my rod in his hands? That's just the tip. Please get an Editor before trying another chapter????

Sorry but 1 star only

DragonRider55

Was this translated from Klingon? Sounded more like a battle than sex.

I couldn't finish reading this. I'm only guessing that English is not your native language? Your grammar and sentence structure are atrocious! Either get an editor or PLEASE never write again. This caused my eyes physical pain.

Dude where did you learn to spell

Your sentence structure needs work

Good story

Man you really need to find someone to edit your work. i couldn't get past the first paragraph because it was so poorly worded. Sorry only one star due to the poor translation.

This sounds like a trip to see,THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES. I read the whole thing,just because it was so funny. I gave it 3 *** just for that reason..THANKS ps. my friend you need HELP

the only good part about this story is it was only one page. so fucking bad....lol

Please, write only in your native language. Or hire a ghost writer. Or something, just don't try to make me read another story like this one.

Spell check and grammar please ! Had potential !

Given your level of writing, I am assuming you will even have to look up the meaning of ATROCIOUS

Just one example:

Her smell was so AROUSTIC that I started licking her panties like a dog which makes her REALISING a ton of JUICES. She was moaning loudly. I removed her panty and saw a golden BUSHES in a triangle shape.

Good try .

OK, there are a lot of mistakes, but that can be corrected. Do not listen to the bad comments here. I have read some of them and they are poorly written, often by young people who just like to tear other people's work apart. There are few professional writers here. It is an amateur site. You are one of those amateurs.

You do have the urge to write well, just not the training or skill set necessary. So what is the solution?

A Literotica editor. They are free and very willing to help. I am one and I enjoy the process immensely.

Let me know if you would like to try again and I will be happy to help if I can.

Did you take any grammar classes in school?

Don't listen to the bad comments. You have a great start. Would love to see more of the story and how thing go between them. Keep up the good work and I hope to read more of your stuff.

PS: Don't worry about the bad comments. People are quick to comment but don't add stories of thier own!!!!!!!!!! Again keep up the good work.

If you had a better grasp of the English language it might or would have better grammer.. As it is the bad grammer ruins the reading of the story.

I couldn't make heads or tails of this story . I do recommend however that you don't write another one until you have figured out how to use proper sentence structure . I'm sure that it would have been pretty good if I could understand what it was that you were writing about .