All Comments on 'Sis Veronica & Friend'

turned it to 00

i didn't mind the action, even the anal, but the lack of proper punctuation made reading difficult. I think you have a decent idea here, and with some work it could be excellent, but you need to work on the mechanics of writing. You need to work on the use of quotations, commas, and so forth. I realize that your main focus is the story itself, but without the other parts, the story is confusing and hard to follow.

I think your story was great. I hope you will write and tell us more about your sex life. I wish I had a sister like yours.

Was really a good plot but you took it too far and too bizarre for this to be the first time together.

at the beginning, but should have stopped someplace about when he fucked his sister; after that it started getting more and more unbelievable. The anal, and the guy continuing to cum and cum, were unnecessary and damaged the story. Also, it could have benefited from a spell-checker or better yet, a volunteer editor. Keep writing, but spend more time cleaning up the story instead of adding so much action.

way to much for him being a virgin no way would he do any of it. this story sounds like they have been with each other sexually alot not like it was the first time granted the sister and her friend have been going at it lot but he was a virgin so it lost all credablity slow down and think before you write and get an editor

The ending sounds promising .Nice work

Loved the story.

One of the best

Great story, but you need a proof reader, Plus your sentences don’t flow.