Sissy Loni on the Big Island Ch. 01

This is chapter one of a piece of fiction I am working on. Chapter one is a lot of character development and scene setting, so if you are looking for something with paragraph after paragraph of steamy, raw sex, it's not in chapter one! Hopefully, you will see that change in subsequent chapters. Also, I guess you have to picture this happening pre-Covid or in a Covid-free world. Hope you enjoy this! - L.

Like most peoples' lives, I guess, the path doesn't always follow a straight line...

I grew up an only child, and the son of two lawyers, I probably received less attention than most kids growing up. It seemed like they were always busy! When they would make time for me (and they would try, I will be honest), we would do a lot of things they would like to do: museums, concerts, theatre. Vacations to historic areas. Not a lot of amusement parks, no trips to ballgames, one trip to Disneyworld, when I was ten. Sometimes we would take a summer week at the beach in a rented vacation home. One thing I did enjoy, my parents liked to snow ski, and we would take some weekends in Vermont and Maine. It was good exercise, tough on your legs, especially your thighs.

All this was probably ok with me, I turned out to not be much into team sports. Along with skiing, I did love to run. I ran cross country and track at the private high school my parents sent me to. Even in that environment, free of the rougher crowd that might be a part of public schools, I was pretty much a loner with only a few friends, mainly a few quiet kids, we would run and do homework together sometime. Not a complete loser, but not Mr. Congeniality either. I did -- and still do -- have a pretty good sense of humor, and even though I am shy, year by year I have gotten over a lot of this, and have a lot more self-confidence in myself than I did when I was a kid.

College was a little better, I came out of my shell more, and let my interest in computers and biology guide me to a major in computer science and the relatively new field of bioinformatics. A lot more than software development or becoming an "I.T. Guy", this work related to the computer-based analysis of genetic and protein data, mega sets of data from millions or billions of cells, tissues, animals, or humans. Important in medicine, biotech, and the pharmaceutical industry. I loved it, was good at it, and spent a lot of time at it. In my class, my group of students, I was one of the very best students. The professors liked me! Not too nerdy, but not a showoff or arrogant about it, either.

Still, I didn't ever have a girlfriend, but as I did in high school, on my own time, like most guys, I would go to porn sites and watch a lot of videos. During high school, most of my interest was conventional heterosexual porn, typical stuff. I always pictured myself as the stud, getting my cock sucked by a sexy girl, or screwing, or sliding my penis in and out of a sexy ass! I wished...

But then in college, something happened to me, and my viewing interests changed. I became more and more interested in looking at the hard cocks in the videos, wishing my own skinny five inches would be more like those massive cocks those 'actors' would use in their sexy exploits. I'd watch videos of girls giving guys blowjobs, and after a while, I'd start thinking about what it would be like to 'be the girl', to be giving the blowjob, to giving pleasure to the sexy studs in the videos I chose to watch... But that was all fantasy, something I would usually only think about in the few minutes it would take me to cum after watching porn on my laptop, in my dorm room.

Otherwise, I was able to obtain three different summer internships after each of my first three years of college. I looked for, and found internships in pharmaceutical companies, in their technology departments. All three of these were based in or just outside the New York City area, so I could commute daily back and forth from Mom and Dad's place in Connecticut. I'd do a four- or five-day work week, and spend weekends with my parents, at their place. It was super comfortable, with plenty of privacy for me, and the backyard and private space around the pool let me get a lot of sun and a chance to swim a little.

I met Sarah, in the summer after my sophomore year. She was nice to me, also an intern, and we had a lot of similar interests. We had some dates during the summer, and very conveniently, was a student at Smith College in western Massachusetts, about an hour's drive from me at Williams College. She took my virginity from me in the fall of my junior year. She was my first (and only) love, I was infatuated with her. After a while, we started spending every weekend we could, unless our college work, things like projects and mid-term week, would keep us away.

We arranged an internship at the same company for our last undergraduate summer, after junior year, finding a small studio apartment that we couldn't afford, of course our parents helped us with the rent... Living together, we made love many times in a week, and talked about, and started planning to be married. She seemed to be ok with my five inches. But the devil was in some of the details. She wanted to go to grad school, to get a PhD in chemistry. I wanted to enter the world of work.

We compromised, she found a good doctoral program for her at Brandeis, and I would enter a master's program in bioengineering and bioinformatics at Tufts. I would go to work after that, in two years or so, maybe for one of the many biotech firms in Boston. Two good schools, we married the summer after receiving our undergrad diplomas, spent the summer traveling Europe, and returned home to the USA and headed off to grad school. Not much time to watch porn during these days, that hobby of mine got put on a back burner.

School went fine, I breezed through the master's program, really. I didn't feel the stress of grad school that many did. But Sarah did, there was a lot of pressure on her, and she had to spend a lot of time as a teaching assistant while taking a lot of classes and trying to find time to do her research rotations with various professors in the department. It was in her second year, she met 'Harold'. Harold was a young, handsome, single, assistant professor in the department, he had just joined the university, and was looking for early-stage students to join his lab group. Sarah took a class from him, fall semester of her second year, spent a lot of time outside of class with him talking chemistry, which I guess changed course over time. She joined his lab group, and then later in the fall, and over the winter, fell in love with him.

It didn't take long, everything unraveled for us. She moved out late spring, moved in with him, we divorced over the summer, twenty four months, almost to the day, from our marriage ceremony. I graduated in August, already had a job, which thankfully, took me far away from Boston, turned out I would never see or hear from Sarah ever again, in my whole life. I was hurt, and with few friends, had not much in my life by way of personal interactions, except for my parents. I stayed with them for a month, they were good to me, tried to console me, it was here, on my own, all alone, that I took solace again in porn. Back at my boyhood home, in my boyhood bedroom, those four weeks, I would watch hours and hours of porn, again drawn to watching those big cocks and having beautiful, busty women, either naked or in tiny bikinis, suck and lick those big hard cocks, and swallow down cum. I'd find myself mesmerized, hypnotized, staring at big, juicy cocks. I wouldn't even need to touch myself, I'd get hard in my shorts, and start to dribble precum.

Watching more, I would start to touch myself, while subconsciously wishing I was one of those girls. Sucking on cock, pleasing a big, sturdy, stud of a guy. Kissing a big fat cock while looking up into the eyes of that big stud. And me, at five foot nine, and all of 140 pounds, was neither big, sturdy, or a stud. I was trim, for sure, I kept up with running and skiing, and had a nice trim form and if any part of me was sturdy, I guess it was my legs. They were trim, firm and muscular. And at 24, I never had the college weight gain that most guys experience in college, I never took a liking to draft beer, preferring, as I learned from Mom and Dad, to enjoy a nice glass of wine, or two, with dinner or when the time was right. Of course, the running was the biggest influence. I was strong, with good ankles and knees, and could run every day if I had time. I'd run 90 minutes, or more, each day on weekends.

My first job after my master's degree took me to California. I took a nice job, with a very good starting salary, for a biotech/pharma company. I was a part of a small team in their department of bioinformatics, assigned to analysis of data from a few of their clinical research trials, looking at hundreds or thousands of different markers in human subjects that were part of these research trials. Interesting stuff, I was doing work that I thought was noble, and would pay me well to boot! I was independent of Mom and Dad's money for the first time in my life, keeping my head above water, money-wise. I found a nice place, in San Leandro, a townhouse with a view in the distance of San Francisco bay from my upstairs bedroom.

Living alone, I set up two computer stations in the second bedroom. One was for work, and one was my personal computer. I wanted to always do good work for my company, some of which I could do from home, and I wanted to have privacy and security, and be able to do anything I wanted, like watch porn, on my home computer. Which I did. A lot.

Except for work, and running, I lived a pretty quiet life. There were a couple of bistros and taverns I'd frequent, typically sitting at the bar, alone, eating lunch or dinner, with a glass of wine or two. Then, back home, catch up on work email, work a bit on my projects, and then close that system down, and open up my home computer. My obsession with porn continued and grew. My fascination with large, hard cocks, led me to search for more and more titillating material. The 'dopamine rush' needed to be satisfied, and honestly, after watching the same things, over and over again, you do begin to become 'accommodated', as the neuroscientists or psychologists would call it. Meaning that over time, the same stimulus, received time after time, produces a reduced effect. A larger, more impactful stimulus would be needed to produce the same effect, the same excitement. I went from daydreaming about sucking cock, to wishing I was a sissy whore, servicing one big cock after another, or having one in each of my two holes, and two others in each hand. I wanted to be a slut...

In plain old English, this meant going more and more hard core. I looked for more exciting stuff, exploring the worlds of fetish, BDSM, and femdom, among others. I guess I found my home when I moved into the world of sissy porn, and sissy hypnosis. How totally, absolutely fascinating, and exciting, to see men feminize themselves into attractive female-like forms, and have sex with big strong studs... Over the course of my first two years in California, my level of interest in all things sissy grew, from watching sissy porn, to reading about crossdressing and self-feminization, and then finally, to giving in, and start the ordering of female clothes over the internet. It started, of course, like most sissies, with panties. Then hose, stay ups, garter sets, the usual. Lingerie like soft teddies and shortie negligees. I had makeup sets delivered to the house. Dresses, skirts, blouses, corsets. After six months, I bought my first wig.

I was hooked. I loved the feeling I would get when dressed up 'en femme', I would get dressed up, do my makeup, and then sit down for a few hours of sissy porn before finally giving in and allowing my five inch 'clittie', as I started to call it, to cum. I joined a few chat sites devoted to the sissy lifestyle, made up a profile, and joined in with the hundreds of sissies around the country, and world, that would log in, and chat about all things sissy. Including, and especially about men with big hard cocks that would do nasty things to submissive sissies. Now I will say, and still to this day many years after, I am lucky, this passion, this 'hobby' has integrated its way into my life, but in a separate compartment from work, my professional life. When my mind is on work, I do it, and do it well. And, well, when I am now in sissy mode, in my mind's eye, I am a sissy, and my purpose is to look slutty and please alpha men, men I could never aspire to be.

Now in California two full years, that winter was truly tragic for me: I lost both of my parents. They were driving home from a ski trip in Vermont, just the two of them, and in a light snow, had their car slip around while traveling southbound on Interstate 91. It wound up being a real mess: their car, two other cars, and a tractor trailer, all tangled up. It took the rescue team more than an hour to get to my Mom and Dad. I needed four weeks' leave from work, to arrange for the funeral, and help take care of the financial and legal affairs of my parents. And mourn. I was just about the only one at that time for Mom and Dad. Dad, it turned out, was an only child, too, like me, and Mom's only sibling, her brother, my Uncle Charles, was my parents' executor. He took care of the wills, there were two substantial 401Ks and individual stock holdings which was all left for me, after a ten percent gift to Mom and Dad's church. It was originally set up to be in a trust for me, but since I had finished college and now an adult, all these proceeds were handed over to me, in full. Their house was put on the market, Charles helped with that as I headed back to California to resume work, and eventually the proceeds from that sale also went to me.

So over the course of a month or two, I went from just managing to stay afloat, a young professional in the biotech world, to becoming independently wealthy. If I could manage my accounts successfully, I could live to be 100 years old and still have money in the bank. A staggering thought. Not a fair deal for losing the only two people who truly loved me. But it was what was dealt to me, I was certainly not going to walk away from that money, who in the world would?

Everyone at work that I knew was terrific after hearing about my loss. I was grateful but had a degree of unease about receiving all the best wishes and condolences. It kept reminding me of how alone I was in the world. I thought about my future, a lot, a real lot. Where would I go from here? Without making any rash decisions, I thought it good to stay on with my company, until I had a good plan of what to move onto. Finally, twelve months later, at 27 years old, I had decided, and set things in motion to become an independent contractor and be free to work on projects, for whichever companies could use my skills and services. I was smart, efficient, and each year, becoming more and more effective in this highly technical area. I formed my own LLC, and I could fill my work calendar with 52 weeks of work per year if I wanted or pick and choose as I saw fit, taking time off to travel and enjoy life. I was traveling to attend conference in my specialty and would keep up with the field by reading research reports and taking an online class now and then.

Now in doing this, I realized that there was no need to stay in my local area. But I stayed close by, and purchased a home, not too far from the townhouse I originally moved to. This was a very nice place, a smallish three bedroom home with a nice, very private backyard. Now with an extra bedroom, I had my master bedroom, a second to use as my home office, and the third, well, I gave that room to my sissy self. I now had a closet and dresser full of things, just about every week, one thing or another would arrive in the mail by UPS. My secret email account had maybe a dozen different lingerie and sex toy sellers contacting me weekly, because of my past purchasing history with them.

I'd visit my sissy chat sites just about every day and would listen to sissy hypno videos and audio tracks maybe an hour or more every day. I finally broke through and had my first real-life experiences, visiting adult bookstores and arcades, and sucking on hard cocks through glory holes. Simply put, I had turned myself into a cock hungry sissy slut. One time I stayed for two hours, sucking on at least five different cocks, all of them through the same glory hole, one after the other. The lust for cock would build up inside me, until I had to do something to quench that thirst. I found a few different adult stores that I'd frequent to satisfy my lust, I liked a few in the area that seemed the safest to me, and very clean inside.

At home, I was spending a lot of time visiting 'Club Sissy', as the site describes itself, 'Your online resort for all things sissy.' Mainly, I'd go there just for the chat. Initially, I'd chat mainly with other sissies, but then, found a few males, 'admirers', they are called. Guys that like chatting with, or being with sexy 'gurls', as we say, girls with that something extra...

And I have to say, as a sissy, I became a whole different person. I felt like I had a lot of self-confidence, I had a bubbly personality, funny and fun to chat with. I could be a terrific tease, a real cock-teaser when I'd chat with guys! I wasn't quite like Norm from the old Cheers sitcom, but I became somewhat of a regular at Club Sissy and made a lot of friends from around the country, both sissies and a few guys, too. I'd log on, and people would know me and say hi, I'd post pictures of me in various outfits. I would chat for hours about all things sissy, and about other things, too, things going on in the outside world. I keep up with current events in the USA and around the world and can keep a conversation going with just about anyone. My favorite thing, though, is making men feel like men. I like to know that I can get a man rock hard, and after keeping him hard for just long enough, help him deliver the goods. If it has to be online, there is nothing better in the world to me, than watching a man squirt a big load of cum while calling out my name.

Which I haven't mentioned, yet, have I? It's Loni. Sissy Loni. I decided to name myself this in honor of Loni Anderson, if you don't know who she is, go look her up. In the late 70's and early 80's, she was just about the hottest thing on two legs. Blonde, busty, and played a very sharp receptionist at WKRP, the radio station and name of the sitcom she starred in. Even though she was 'just' the receptionist, she was also smartest person at the station. We would watch the reruns at home when I was a kid, me and Mom and Dad. I was infatuated with her back then, and now, just wish I could be her!

The only difference is I don't do that bleach blonde thing. I am a natural brunette, and the wigs that I do own now, are all brunette wigs, just in different styles and lengths. So maybe instead of Loni Anderson, I should be channeling Angelie Jolie or Salma Hayek? But no, its me, I am just Loni, a sexy sissy brunette. Can you picture me? As I mentioned, five foot nine, and I've managed, with all my running, to stay at about one-forty. A size eight dress fits me pretty good, I can even wear a six if its stretchy, and my feet fit well into women's size nine.

My legs, everyone seems to agree, are killer! When I dress up fully, I love to wear the shortest skirts I can get away with, that show off my legs and the top of my stay-up, thigh-high stockings. My skin is pretty nice, too, and I enjoy wearing strapless or spaghetti strap tops that show off my shoulders and hairless chest. I use depilatory everywhere below the neck, and this year, spent five hundred dollars on a home electrolysis unit. It's going slow, but I can see results and my beard is starting to disappear and ninety percent of the hair on my legs has stopped growing. I am just about smooth, all over. Especially that special area between my legs: smooth, not a single hair to be found there. And tan, too, with my backyard being so private, I sunbathe as much as possible, and have a medium tan glow on just about every square inch of my body. And oh, do I LOVE to look sexy -- and slutty! Besides all those girly street clothes, I have a decent array of slutty lingerie, cupless and crotchless things, leather, spandex, corsets... Over the course of few years, I've gone from having nothing, to having a little bit of just about everything, from pink lace to black leather.