All Comments on 'Sisterly Love Comes First Pt. 01'

I enjoyed this a great deal. Just too short. Looking forward to the rest of the story.

Good beginning!

5

Great setup! 5 stars. Please publish following chapters promptly

Whats with all the one page chapters lately? When is the next part, won't read though ti I see its completely finished. 2*

Okay but too short.

Some people are stupid. If you wanted to give them a baby so bad just mail your husband and put a turkey baster up your gofer hole. It’s not that hard.

Way too short and really disjointed;it feels like the beginnings of a summary or outline or a story…’so far at least.

Contrary to what your arithmetical genius thinks, you do sutract negative numbers! For example, -2 - (-2) = 0. The rest of the story is as good as your negative number subtraction theorem...

Great start...looking forward to the rest...5*...

Thanx!

Loklie

Y….. what was the point of that ?

You unmitigated asshole that was getting really good. ASAP for part two (pretty please, pretty please with cherry’s and chocolate sprinkles on top).

It pisses me off that we have to wait ages for the good stories, wading through the crap that represents the majority of mind numbing dross on here, well it’s just not fun like it used to be.

The question here is: Does this story need a second part? Except to know what happened to him, and that just need a few lines...Let's see what part 2 will bring...4*

she should have asked first and then he wouldn't be such a jerk

An enjoyable read but I'm puzzled as to why, if Kathy wanted to keep quiet about the birth of her baby, the announcement was made to Austin all the way over in Afghanistan. Also, "I don't want to accuse her of cheating if it's not true". How can it not be true?

The hook is set!

But short I feel it could have been done in one but maybe your building tension.

If I were the Sarge I wouldn't write anything to those betrayers let that despicable women figure out if they need to Fike divorce or not. I will just go off-grid disappear quietly. Sometimes I do wonder why cheating women in LW are just absolute brain dead but I guess we won't have a story if they're not Looking forward to the sequel Skippy47.

Artificial insemination wasn't an option?

What more can a second tale bring? D

This could have been slightly more interesting if.... When Brandy offered to fuck Austin 12 times Kathy and Paul would have lost their minds over the offer.

Even though it was initially Brandy's idea and her offer to fuck Austin doesn't make things right she was at least willing to try to do something. Kathy and Paul just stood there talking, trying to convince him that everything was ok.

It amazes me how wives can say they didn't discuss it with their husband because they knew the husband wouldn't agree and then they still go through with it and expect him to be ok with it after the fact.

Shits all too real - 5* so far, but need more depth as you move forward.

Stupid story. Should get a zero.

promising story line but pretty quick and disjointed out of the box. Maybe slow it down just a bit. Will stay tuned for where you take it next.

Austin Rader is not a man, just a butthurt little boy. And also stupid

Great start…but too short of a Chapter. But then, where it stopped was a logical break point.

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Loved the homecoming trick.

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The premise is just so fucked up…but that’s what makes for plots in LW! No way in real life that those 3 would pull such a stunt. But we need a plot!

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Pretty stupid of them to have the baby locally at a hospital connected to the Army. Really dumb.

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Ummm….enlisted just can’t “quit”. Yeah…you threw in there that he got “special dispensation”…but didn’t bother to say how that happened. Plus…any such thing would take weeks, if not months. Lazy.

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All in all…entertaining so far. Sure hope succeeding parts come as quickly as that magic “special dispensation” 😎

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4 ****

Jesus I hope this isn't going to be RAAC. That's too messed up.

That part about him being in a coffin was freaking hilarious.

Anon

"if Kathy wanted to keep quiet about the birth of her baby, the announcement was made to Austin all the way over in Afghanistan."

I imagine she went to a VA hospital?

""I don't want to accuse her of cheating if it's not true". How can it not be true?"

I was going to say that also but he was accounting for rape. He had his buddy look into it and there wasn't any reported rapes. So he knew she cheated.

Loved this new and different scenario! Easy 5*! Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!

"Try and tell that to the 19 year-old soldier that killed the woman who he thought had a gun under her burka. 'He was just doing what he thought was right.' He killed himself that night."

-exactly that and what this example was used for are spot on!

action-reaction-consequences

good intention does not always lead to an good outcome

Pt01 got 5* from me because, no matter how the story ends, it was an good written and interesting piece.

Additional bonus Skippy will finish the story and not leave it an Pt.01 like so many other authors these days. And I am curious how.

Good to great story line. The actual writing needs improvement. Maybe a new editor. It is choppy, does not flow together. I think it has the potential to be great with some more work.

Nice; 5*

Interesting plot, looking forward to Chap. 2. Hopefully it'll include the complete story and not just the outline.....

What makes this so unconscionable is this appears to be Kathy's first child --- and not with her husband!@#$%^& If this was child number +2 for Kathy it might have more validity but her first?!? Then there was problems already brewing in Kathy-Austin marriage for her to do this totally behind his back. And the contempt Austin's own sister has for him is just too deep.

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Why get out of the Army short of 20yrs since he would have had at least 10yrs? Kathy could not touch him and with good commands/evals he could remain gone form CONUS his remaining years. His vengeance was not thought out well seeking a total burn to include $$$/marriage allotment and medical for her?!?

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I never got the Dear John, just came home to discover she abandon me. Lucky no kids!!! But I did seek suicide by enemy afterwards - damn their piss poor shots.

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*****5, Hooyah, Salutes... USN Vietnam Vet.

Looking good, I agree with @Demosthenes384bc though, the story needs more depth. So far this feels like it is going to be a cliff notes version of a story.

One page Ch ones suck!

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"His local banking accounts with Kathy were not touched. She could have it." - He should have taken his half.

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@Anonymous :"How can it not be true?" - It could have been a mistake. Hard to see how, but he was grasping at straws.

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I would have fucked Kathy, then STILL took off, and taken at LEAST his half of the money, better yet, all of it.

The story starts with "Kathy was with her sister Brandy." At the end, the story changes because Radar writes "To: Kathy and my traitorous sister and brother-in-law.

So, is Brandy Kathy's sister or Radar's sister? The former is obviously more likely, but either can be correct. Just make up your mind.

Also unclear how Kathy had expected that this would come down with Radar. She clearly could not have hidden her pregnancy and motherhood. Ultimately there are way too many gaps in the story.

She at least could have waited until she’d given her husband her first child. Plus, there’s that thing called in-vitro— sex wasn’t required. Looking forward to part 2

WOW! Kathy, Paul and Brandy are the scum of the earth and maybe a little inbred as well.

In the words of Tina Turner..

“You’re simply the best…Better than all the rest”!

TK

Yeah agree with others for me a bit too short, not like your normal 2 to 3 page write ups hence only 4 from me. Left it hanging like Stranger Things season 4, to short and not enough fill

bad writing, but a good start to a story... 3*

So far... so good

This theme is overdone like a steak left on the grill for an hour.

Another Skippy failure. Why do you continue to humiliate yourself?

more, more, more.....

Great start…

So far I am enjoying this. An interesting take on it. It seems wise for him to move on. Loyalty is good after all, but one needs to know who to be loyal to first.

One page to be continued?

Wife too stupid to discuss this with husband.

Husband dumb enough to start shooting toes off.

And no one involved has ever heard of a turkey baster?

Just makes it more likely the two are still carrying on…

Wasn’t compelling enough for me to come back for more but maybe was for others.

OK, I understand one sister wanting to help the other one. My question is were Brandy and Paul so cheap that they had to have Austin's insurance pay for the birth? Why didn't they use a private hospital so Austin would never find out. It truly feels that they had wanted to out themselves from the get-go.

Retarded cowboy shit. Woe me wife had a baby and fucked my life. Should dump her and move on? No. Lets fuck my life some more, by shooting the father, and threating two women with a baby being present. But look at that. Charges dropped. Like the da would accept it. You skipped your toillet calling and now you hemorage shit all over this site. Most retarded story in a while on this site. Ger cucked looser

The story was well told and an excellent read ⭐⭐⭐⭐.

I like the unique twist for a child for a barren couple in the story. However, I really enjoyed the use of a discredited Blackwater Security company. To me it gave a link back to my days at Diplomatic Security when Ambassador Griffin was forced out for their FOPA in Iraq Killing civilians. The Ambassador was a good person and just in the wrong position at the time of the incident. Heck he wasn't even in charge when the contract was let. He was just in charge at the time the incident hit the fan.

Stories of wives and husbands cheating on a spouse deployed happen far to often and many times it ends in harsh outcomes. Sometime multiple casualties other just divorce.

You story was well written and to the point. I enjoyed the way you covered the bases and had a realistic exit strategy.

I am looking forward to more of your stories.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Sarge did the only honorable thing left for him to do: leave the cheating cunt! Not asking him first is all the reason he needs. He can always come back later, fuck Brandy 13 times, cut Paul's dick off, and ensure Brandy will never deliver another bastard child again. Do not make this a RAAC; it would be an insult to every active duty soldier and veteran.

5* but please not a RAAC

Good start. Don’t screw it up. *****

Unfortunately shit like this happens.

Shoulda at least banged brandy before ghosting them

The Anons will be the death of the LW genre!

Where are all the assholes calling for FTDS? Some authors put multiple page stories up as a series and get those dumb ass comments. This is a one pager, and what, no one???

"I did not ask you because I knew you would say no."

Well, that says enough.

Well the easily impressed wet their panties I see.

Read like a badly edited Readers Digest Condensed version.

NO real emotion in this, almost like a police report. So I couldnt care about or for any character and what happened to them.

As per usual the premise is bad, all those of this ilk tend to be.

Might have helped if you didnt write the wife as the usual idiot (Seems most males around here are really when it comes to women, both in how they see them and how they are written) with this ""That's not true. I value our marriage very much, but I also love my sister. Me having a baby for her should not damage our marriage."

Again, when you write from the usual misogynistic viewpoint and give us a cliched idiotic woman its hard to get pulled into a story when the eyes are rolling.

Clearly this was aimed at those who wet themselves in glee when a barely there story that features a "Real" man in it.

Im not so easily impressed, so if you must continue, please put a bit more effort into it.

Good so far..

Idiots don't know how to use a turkey baster and the truth?

Not really an anonymous poster, just an OLDCOOT45 that can't ever remember my password.

guessing this was before invitro. or is this some sort of incest family sickness. ok well i guess i'll have to wait for more chapters to find out lol

Good on him. The moment his wife decided arbitrarily to do the deed without telling her husband the marriage was over. Trust and fidelity. Duh!!!!

I know this will end up being a RAAC l just hope the ride makes reading this worthwhile.

Scores 3/5 thus far

I dunno maybe the authors based their woman MCs after Wackadoodle? She has written incredibly stupid things in the comments. Kinda makes the women in the LW stories seem like rocket scientists.

Happens more than we hear about. There hopefully is a special place in hell for people like Brandy, her sister and brother in law. To make a decision that would have produced a baby the same as if they had waited until he returned to discuss it and either agree or disagree. It could have been done with artificial insemination. They can dress this turd up anyway they want and it is still shit. She may thought she was being sacrificing to do this. But the way she did it was just plain and simple selfish and cheating. She turned herself in a whore and lost her marriage over it. Decisions have consequences and she got hers. Too bad she didn't like the result.

But hey, on a positive note. She is free to whore herself out again for her sister.

Great so far, just don't RAAC 'em

Interesting scenario but in end didn't make much sense. For example, Kathy could have talked to Austin about being a surrogate mom where she didn't have sex with Paul, but rather it was done artificially. In that scenario at least there would be no sex,which would make it less disgusting to a husband ( might still be).

The big problem with the story is if they wanted to keep it secret why in hell would they use a base hospital? I realize there wouldn't be a story without that.....

I find some of the comments funny. If Kathy is telling the truth then she isn't a slut, her motives were not about having sex for pleasure. Her crime is doing it behind Austin's back. He like the posters assume Kathy did it for pleasure, but it wasn't. He has every right to be angry about her betrayal, but context matters.

We’re going to arrest you for discharging a gun in the city limits. Are you kidding ? How about shooting with intent to inflict grievous bodily harm?

0 star - violence of any form in the LW category always gets a big fat ZERO.

In my 16 year term in the military, I witnessed a lot of crap similar to this, but NEVER did it devolve into violence on the part of the service member. However, there were many divorces and separations. I also had the unfortunate responsibility to stand between serving members and their spouses on several occasions - diffusing the anger and redirecting it towards less violent options. 'Digger Time' in the military was never a very pleasant experience.

I see Ic9hunter has another of his characteristically idiot comments. What man wouldn’t want his wife secretly having a baby with his brother in law, while he was on a year long deployment. What kind of stupid does the cow have to be to think her husband would accept her noble brood mare by direct fertilization actions. He reacted as any normal man would, and it would have been a more interesting story had the police not shown up so soon. Great start, please don’t RAAC it up.

For anon from 23 minutes ago, you have forgotten the Marine esprit de corp, even an Army nco knows that brothers in arms look out for each other, so suck it and let the vets take it from here A long serving vietnam VET 22 years to be exact sucker Great story, looking forward to the end ing

Sure, why not.

American cop busts through a door, sees an armed man who has just shot someone who would, in reality be on the floor either screaming or swearing, and then gives a soliloquy worthy of Hamlet and tells him his life story. He and the three or four with him would have shot the shit out of and discussed it later. That is of course if they hadn’t waited outside till the shooting stopped and everyone was dead.

Get a grip. The rest of the story was just cliched bullshit, so I shouldn’t have been surprised.

I usually like Skippy’s work.

I hope the next chapter is out soon!

As others have noted, too many moving parts to make sense of it. THANK YOU for trying. You have some skill, just don't be such a hurry.

Great story!!!! Please go on soon 👍

I would have given this two stars...it wasn't terrible, but you committed the cardinal sin of ending with, "to be continued".

Good writers don't do that. If there's another chapter, fine, otherwise the story should stand on its own merits.

It’s a good start take no notice of the negative comments it’s a story for entertainment not a factual account

It's amazing that mostly "anonymous" commentators give advice on how the author should behave. And most of the time it's idiotic advice.

Your story is well told and entertaining. If I were him, I would have filed for divorce and taken half the property. Why should he leave everything to the cheater? But I'm excited to see how the story develops. 5*!

@sbrooks103x1 day ago

One page Ch ones suck! - not as much as nitpicks

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"His local banking accounts with Kathy were not touched. She could have it." - He should have taken his half. - But he didn't, not your concern anyway.

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@Anonymous :"How can it not be true?" - It could have been a mistake. Hard to see how, but he was grasping at straws. - Much like your nitpicks.

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I would have fucked Kathy, then STILL took off, and taken at LEAST his half of the money, better yet, all of it. - Keep on dreaming.

Crap, boring, unfinished, waste of reading, very disappointing, too short to qualify for a short story.

You have a nice story-telling writer's voice. Nice foreshadowing when his friend indicated that Austin's body rode home on the same transport to Ft. Campbell. Since, all KIA come home via Dover AFB, I wondered if he was really still alive. That your writing is accurate enough to not flag that as an error says a lot about your writing!! Keep it up!

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Waitin' for part 2!! 5+++/5!!

stupid

A good premise. Deffo could be longer but gets to the point sharpish.

The funny thing is... if they WANTED a surrogate they could have done other things. With hubs approval! IVF (pricey but maybe an option); or use an intermediary? (A turkey baster...)

The fact they didnt shows either naivete... stupidity... or that the bro in law / wife just wanted to use it as an opportunity to screw. The husband should have pointed this out. Anything they say to justify this will be a lie against those options.

Yet again logic fly's out of the window. As he said he was not consulted as he would have said no. What a loving family. Not worth having them. He should have filed for divorce on the grounds of adultery. I am sure his 'friends' will deal with things whilst he is gone. The Services guys and girls look after their own. I was raised by my mother and she said to me, if a woman needs a slap do not hesitate to give one. Only do it as hard as a woman would. I feel his wife needs a slap around the chops.

Too little even for a first chapter. I enjoyed what you started. "Just because the sister wanted a baby" is the dumbest of excuses. And even if the MC agreed to let her be a surrogate, it should have been artificial insemination and NOT fucking. He should have said that.

There is some serious issue with the wife. Her priorities are so skewed. Maybe some explanation would be forthcoming in part 2/3/4.

An interesting premise to begin a cheating story and I agree that this was cheating no matter the excuse she used. Hope to see the rest of this story pan out.

what a pile of shit his family makes. Everyone on board with pregnancy by another man with no word or consultation to the husband or asking for his input. " Oh!, you can't have a baby sis? That's ok I'll screw your husband and have one for you!" I stand by his his side our cheated on husband, it wood have been kinder to send him a Dear John letter.

I like the combination of two common story themes: Service member comes home to a pregnant spouse, child not his, and the wife having a child for a family member.

I am guessing the details of why the sex rather than IVF will come up in part 2 (flash back?) as well as why sex 12 times in two weeks rather than once and get tested then again and get tested, and also if the wife was present to see it was clinical rather than recreational sex.

Gonna finish it?

They say blood is thicker than water and in this story Kathy put her sister before her immediate family. She knew her husband was against it or what say a categorical no if asked and still did it. What a horrible person.

Looking everywhere for Chpt 2 but it seems to be lost

Interesting start, when will we see the next part?

I really hope part 2 comes soon

Need part 2!

Spouse comes before All others. She broke it. Done. File under adultery. Or if irreconcilable differences only. Put it in papers etc.

Don't need the shit. Just go on with life

What would have really made this interesting and it would be cool to see another author or this author made a stab at it, is if the main character and his wife were planning kids upon his return and his return being his last deployment before taking some high paying job in the civilian world. But there being some serious complication that caused it so this would be the last kid she could have. Possibly making her lose the kid but it would be even better if the child was born just fine only that it would be her only child. And she gave it away to her sister and she and her husband can't have their own now so even if there were reconciliation they're kind of screwed.

Heck I suppose things are open such that the author can go that direction already. Main character cucks out after they convince him the sex wasn't for fun or something like that. They settle down and try for a kid, and try and try and nothing. Doctors were like "oh yeah you messed up your girl parts having that last kid. lol good thing you at least got one kid right?" and sister is like "omg that sucks hey you can borrow OUR kid whenever you like!" and main character can finally nope the hell out of that situation.

Interesting story, but it really needs a part 2