All Comments on 'Sisters and Their Brother'

don't see what the point in sharing with outside people in stories. the last couple I have read some shit. its either son and mother or brother and sister and they bring someone else into the group. just pointless IMHO

It was ood until you added the waiter. Totally unnecessary to make the brother a cuck

I assumed that you were just starting writing since in many places it is a collection of sentences rather than a fluid, coherent story.

Then I looked at your biblio and wondered how you'd written so much when you have little in the way of writing ability!

What the other two commentors said, and more.

I'm not a grammar nazi, but good gravy, one sentence is not a paragraph.

See what I mean with the sentences?

It's distracting as hell.

And the bit at the end.

The 'oh one more thing' part.

Another pointless item

Not a bad premise, but remove the cuck issue and structure your sentences.

See how annoying the sentence/paragraph thing can be?

Jedd

But the story itself was barely worth one star. It's sort of like a bullet point list of possible interactions, with no details, no meat, saying "we decided to do 69" is not erotic at all.

Why did he share his sisters?? If Im the older brother, I'm not sharing with anyone.. once was Juan was brought in, it ruined the story

News flash! Your readers are disappointe, one suggesting this was your initial effort. Three stars.

Same old; dead parent(s), cabin by the lake, absolutely no credibility whatsoever.

This story had a lot of potential, but the writing did not take advantage of that potential. It read like it was written at the last minute to meet a deadline. Please have someone edit for you. I review everything I write multiple times, but I still miss a lot. An editor will catch what you don't see.

You claim on your bio that most of your stories are sexually graphic.

I don't believe that means what you think it does.

If this is how you write after 250+ submissions, the best advice I can give is to stop.

I appreciate your stories because they get to the point really quickly and are action packed throughout. I don’t care for incest stories, but can ‘block’ that part of the story out easily enough. Keep your style, I enjoy your writing.

"My twin sisters, Gloria and Diane, both 20 and I just had to get away and since I am the older brother at 22, I convinced them that we needed to get away and they agreed."

I may make another comment later after I've completed reading the story, but wanted to comment on this before I forget. It doesn't read right to me - on the one hand you're saying that "My twin sisters, Gloria and Diane, both 20 and I just had to get away", and on the other hand you're saying that "I convinced them that we needed to get away".

To me it would have read better to have replaced that and the previous paragraph with:

"I was 22, and my twin sisters Gloria and Diane were just 20 when our parents died a few months ago in an accident.

Once things had settled down after the funeral I felt that we really needed some time alone together , so I suggested that we take a mini vacation and head up to the family cabin, and they agreed."

Mind you, this is only a suggestion - I'm no storyteller.

Ausvirgo (Lit. beta won't log me in - possibly to do with Chrome browser)

and I just had to get away and since I am the older brother at 22, I convinced them that we needed to get away and they agreed.

would have gotten 5 stars but you added a non family member to the sex.

great writing though.

...so you cucked yourself. And you all sounded so broken up about your recently dead parents....

One star because zero is not an option