All Comments on 'Sister's Proposition Pt. 01'

Are you serious, writing this nonsense? It needs a lot more work. More plot equals more words. Keep going.

No build up, no story really, so boring.

I was hoping for the part where she had to snap him out of his day dream fantasy

Five stars ....

I mean the other comments say it perfectly, you need to write more. The story if you can even call it that was flimsy at best and when it comes to writing your story lacks the ability to let the reader imagine what they are reading. I would recommend looking up how to better build a surrounding as a starter

Yes, a very HOT beginning to a great story line for sure. We need more details on Sis and of course her hung brother. What kind of adventures do they want and just HOt, Hard, Loving sex too :) Very arousing.

So where is the rest of the story or is this one going to be like so many and join unfinished stories on Lit.

Seriously? Could you have been lazier?

You need to get laid and then rewrite this story properly with a lot more amplification and description.

I mean the story is badly done. But most importantly cops don't deserve to have sex.

He went to college right out of high school, he’s 23 and STILL HASN’T GRADUATED?1? Yep, he’s qualified to be one of the Neanderthals that make up your standard pig - er, police force. And I’ll say it again… if she’s his STEP-sister this ain’t an incest story. This story isn’t worth it to login and vote because it doesn’t even deserve 1 star.

Well, I have to agree with anonymous. Step-siblings don’t count as incest. To be incest, there has to be blood 🩸 relation. Perhaps re-write it as his half-sister. You know, where they share one parent or the other? And don’t mix singular with plural. She took his hand (singular) and guided them (plural) to her nipples - huh?

I would take a different detour than others suggest. She seems to have a lusty sex drive already. Now work with her to turn her into a classy walking wet dream. But not a street walker.