All Comments on 'Sister's Secret'

you have it wrong - bad grammar

It is a matter of courtesy to read through anything before you publish it, and it is clear you have not done this, because anyone even as illiterate as you couldn't help seeing one error after another. The standard of your writing is bloody appalling, and I am affronted by your expectation that other people should read it in this unchecked condition. If you are not capable of correcting your own bilge, get someone else to do it for you, but I wonder if it's worth it. Freddy

Picky, picky 2 Ur other commenters. Yes, a proof read is reqd. and many text software programs will do the grammar and spell checking 4 U. Transitions of action r also tricky - deliberate may be better than chaotic butt who knows. A good start!

The content is good needs more story structure without just diving into the smut a little more struggling too they just did it as if it was second nature which lacked the temptation aspect 8/10