by Awesome Adam
For a series set in England, your own English sucks. It's so distracting to be reading on Literotica and find a ton of errors. It takes people out of the story. I agree with everyone else, use a spell check.
the idea was great, but the ending was lacking. Also, try using a spellcheck!
You could have combined all 3 stories into a single 1 and done better. I don't know what program you used for writing this, but you needed to use something that had a spell-checker and hopefully a grammar checker also. And finally you should have used an editor to help you clean up the writing. Your story was good; you just need to improve the writing of it.
lost your spell check, did you?
as always, spelling, punctuation and grammar count
this thing way too rushed. there was no build up, no characterization, whatever insight we did have on the characters are minimalist. the story line is decent maybe a bit cliche but there was no depth beyond the sex scenes.
good start but i would hardly call this finished.