Skeeter 07

Skeeter 07

"Skeeter, on behalf of the old gang, I have been authorized to visit with you to formally protest, rant, rave and generally bitch about how you have seemingly left us behind with this new life of yours! Also, no one else knows I'm here because I'm about to dish the dirt, so let's keep my visit private, okay?"

"Billy, before you continue with all your protesting, ranting, raving, bitching and dishing of the dirt, did you bring me some chewies or what?"

[Flip, flip, flip]

"Carry on, yum, yum, yum. And let's start with the dishing of the dirt, Billy."

"Well, it's no secret that you were our circle jerk material, even though we barely got a little facial makeup and a sheer shirt, but since you got all "active and popular" Skeeter, I mean, we tried to dress up Plastic Paulina, but circle jerking to the granny that we created isn't the way to go, so. Also, we tried doing each other and I don't want to say further about that dirty dirt, but it's what we do now since you abandoned us, so?"

"Yum, yum, yum, Billy, I've moved up and on and maybe there are a few people who like me that way and whatever you do, don't ever talk to me again about how you guys have been jerking each other! But Hank, right? Myth or legend? I'm asking for a friend."

"Oh, Hank is the legend of our old crew, but I don't have much other info to compare too and are those jammies? And how often do you lounge in jammies then, Skeeter?"

"Hmm, leisure shorts, jammies, kind of the same thing. So, what else do you want to rant and rave about then, Billy?"

"Are you going to hear me out completely, Skeeter?"

"Sure, Billy, we go way back, as long as you don't start with being my pool boy so you can catch me in a bikini. I don't have a pool. I mean, I have the legs for it, but I don't have a pool."

[Scratch]

"Or try to black mail me. I do send Sandi a little coin for her college struggles with food."

[Scratch]

"Or try to black mail Sandi. I have her "thank you" selfies on lock!"

[Scratch]

"Or ask me for an old pair of undies so that Plastic Paulina doesn't look so much like your granny."

[Scratch]

"But...."

"Aha, aha, aha, aha, I mean, go on, Skeeter."

"Well, I know it sounds crazy and all Billy, but I seem to run out of chewies every time that I go out. I mean, it's like magic or something. Or a desperate need to continue my blogs, so."

"Aha, aha, aha, aha, I'll do it, Skeeter, I'll come to your chewies rescue and wander around aimlessly until I find you! Oh, where then?"

"Oh, since it's magic and all, maybe tonight just after 9pm down at the old Magic Boat Launch spot, so?"

"That's Blue Denim territory, Skeeter, so cool! I mean, who looks better in 505's than me, right?"

Ah, most people?!?!?! Taller people?!?!?!? Cooler people!???!?

"Oh, I mean, buying chewies isn't as easy as grabbing a few bags of chewies, Billy! No black licorice! LOL, not even the Black Denim crew likes a black licorice tongue!"

[Impromptu practicing of that tongue extension thing for Billy]

[Weep]

"Hank????"

[Weep]

"Skeeter?????"

[Weep]

"Hi, Hank. Billy is tending to my needs 2night."

[Weep]

"I'm jealous, Skeeter."

[Weep]

"Force a tag along and don't fail."

I mean, Billy has never been one to be left alone and all, so.

"Damn, Skeeter, I am really all about your updated sophisticated look! I mean, the sweep around hair and those nice ass jeans, I mean, I almost want to call you by your real name, only I really don't even know what your real name is, so, I like the new look, Skeeter!"

"Oh, thanks, Terry. I think I have grown up a bit this summer. Also, dressing sexy like a street worker brings out the worst in people, from my viewpoint anyways. But I'm still all about my chewies, Terry!"

"LOL, we all carry our previous traits, Skeeter. So, do yellow chewies and Champagne mix then? Also, will your pale lip gloss stay in place if we make out over there behind the old boat house?"

"Oh, oh my, Terry, I mean, maybe we'll find out after a small individual size bottle of Champagne then, maybe."

"I'm not afraid to say that I want to quick fuck you tonight, Skeeter!"

"And I'm not afraid to respond to that with I have a favorite position now, Terry! But that's for later and maybe much later. I have a plan to implement tonight, so, that small bottle of Champagne Terry?"

LOL, are guys really just little puppy dogs at heart?

LOL, and do dressers just follow puppy dogs to clarify their intensions? I mean, "I want to quick fuck you tonight" could mean anything, right? And I mean Trap instead of dresser. I think I'm a Trap now that I've grown and walk on the sophisticated path! Terry's words, not mine. But I still need my chewies!

"I mean, as a sophisticated Trap, who should have shimmed into Capri jeans months ago, I shouldn't be sneaking behind an old Boat House with you to smack lips, Terry, so?"

"But look at this, Skeeter? Our arms land in the just the right places and isn't it well known that the guy usually has to lower and tilt his head to smooch with his partner? We are absolutely a sophisticated couple then, Skeeter."

Oh, meh, I'm the sophisticated one. Terry's words, not mine. Also, huh, I should have Capri jeans months ago!

Also, meh.

[Mwah, ummah, smooch, smooch, smack, smack, ow, ow, mwah]

"No quick fucking, Terry! Date, get closer and then sleep together, that's the sophisticated sequence, so?"

[Mwah, ummah, smooch, smooch, smack, smack, ow, ow, mwah]

"Is this kind of a date, Skeeter?"

[Mwah, ummah, smooch, smooch, smack, smack, ow, ow, mwah]

"Well, it's not a very sophisticated date, but meh, yeah Terry, this is a date."

[Mwah, ummah, smooch, smooch, smack, smack, ow, ow, mwah]

"Whew."

"Whew."

"And "whew", break it up back here you two! Oh snap, Skeeter, you're so???"

"Sophisticated, Merri?"

"Well, SOB, well, break it up anyways. A "chewies" timer went off on my phone! Also, just how do you do that anyways, Skeeter?"

Well, it's exactly easy. I mean, you take the "track my phone" App and well, you pay the underground dude to modify a couple of things and you hack whatever phone you want to! Allegedly, of course.

"Oh, well, I guess we have 20 minutes, Skeeter, LOL, that was just a warning chime. What's your power anyways, Skeeter? And don't try to tell me that there is an App hack for that, so."

"Merri, since I've, well, grown into a more sophisticated Trap, men want what they want and women find me adorable. Also, I really can't get a woman preggo, so."

"Huh, like your man juice doesn't work or like your man part doesn't reach? Or is that something that I will find out for myself in the alley behind the party store when I drive you to get your childish chewies?"

And that's how you leave a timer running just after the warning chime goes off! In a sophisticated way, of course.

"Whew, Skeeter, we found you! But Hank ate your chewies!"

"Hey, Billy, well, we shared, but still, dude."

"Boys, boys, boys, settle down and behave like adults, even though you'll never be as sophisticated as me. And this is where you acknowledge that, so."

"Well, you do look pretty good tonight, but it's still a tie with how you look in your jammies."

"Jammies? You saw Skeeter in his jammies? I object!"

"Guys, I just said it, bring it down a notch. But Billy isn't exactly wrong. Anyways, I always have a chewies back up plan, so be honest, do you guys want to mingle with women or men tonight, hmm?"

[Mumble, grumble, mumble, side look, eye roll, mumble, grumble, spit, mumble]

"My best sophisticated guess is that one in ten women will engage back with you and the first guy you smile at will sneak you behind the old Boat House and take a "ugh, ugh, ugh" hand job, so?"

[Mumble, grumble, mumble, side look, eye roll, mumble, grumble, spit, mumble]

"Fine, circle jerk yourselves over granny Plastic Paulina for the next year then. I have to implement my chewies back up plan, which is not a childish thing, maybe. And speaking of my tasty chewies, I mean, you've both no doubt tasted each other by now, so."

[Mumble, grumble, mumble, side look, eye roll, mumble, grumble, spit, mumble]

And that's how you leave a couple of your old crew who just are not sophisticated enough for you to role play their self sex material. I mean, I'm not a monster, so I may or may not have provided Billy with something for granny Plastic Pauline to wear before he left my house earlier, but are still the unrefined freaks, so. Unlike the new and refined me.

"Skeeter, before we go inside of the party store for your chewies, I mean, um, I mean, well, was Sandi your Side Alley Girlfriend earlier this summer then? Not that's it's any of my business, so?"

Hmm, wait, oh, Merri did not ask about my moment with Darla Darlings, so.

"Merri, I promise you that Sandi was not my Side Alley Girlfriend a few weekends ago, so?"

"Oh, I mean, Skeeter, I was only asking because, I mean, if you get out of the convenience store without getting raped because just by pulling into the parking lot I can see that Clyde is drooling for you, I mean, we're parking in the alley for a few minutes, right?"

"Well, parking in an alley isn't very sophisticated, but we're in your SUV, so it's your rules. Also, I like the alley just a little further down from the store, so."

I mean, I kind of developed a spot in the alley, so.

"Hey Clyde, Skeeter is just sorting through your selection of chewies, so I thought that I would let you know that I'm fucking your little fantasy boyfriend tonight, so?"

"Hah! Merri, I like that actually, but let's face it, the word is that Skeeter couldn't reach, so let's do this then. I'll fuck you both, side by side and I'll select the same hole, so?"

"Hey Clyde, I'm sucking off your little fantasy boyfriend tonight and his gooey "almost man" juice is going to fill my belly, so?"

"Hah! The baby spoons are to the left if you need to measure how full your belly will be, Merri!"

"Hey Clyde, whatever happens, your fantasy boyfriend and I are about to be mostly naked together!"

"Well, there's no need to get mean about things, Merri, so."

Nope, there are some conversations that you just stay out of, right? Especially when you're adorable, sophisticated and popular, right?

"Wow, I thought all that was about you getting back for how Clyde's son broke your heart, Merri. Are we really parking in the alley then?"

"Hah! I put my money where my mouth is, Skeeter! Or I put my mouth where I said I would put my mouth. Either way, sophistication brings power and I'm feeling a little helpless with you tonight. I'm also feeling something that I could work, so."

"[Mumble, grumble, mumble, side look, eye roll, mumble, grumble, mumble]"

Which she figured out was "my house is that way" it seems. I mean, it's totally unsophisticated to peel off two pairs of Denim jeans in an alley, so.

Also, whoa, how sophisticated does a naked woman's body look in bed with all those curves and valleys and rises and dips and bumps and curves and valleys and rises and dips and bumps, right?

"LOL, not to turn the tables, Skeeters, but, LOL, chewie?"

[Shuffles small bag of chewies, which is a clear turn of the tables]

"[Mwah], somewhat of a secret, right, Skeeter?"

"Um, um?"

"It worked, Skeeter. LOL, I'm pretty limber, so good job, champ."

"And that was???"

"Reverse cowgirl. I'm only so limber, but it worked, Skeeter. LOL, it feels nice to have empty balls, I bet, right?"

"Oh, there were squiggly visions and wiggly visions and my body was vibrating, in a sophisticated way, of course."

"[Mwah] Try to not sleep with my brother Teddy then, Skeeter [mwah]. Bye?????"

Like I knew what to do during the "afterwards" moments, right? Hell, I didn't even know how to say good bye!

But I couldn't wait for my next chewie run up to the "Stop & Rob" convenience store to see what Clyde had to say or ask.

And I buy the good chewies, like the sophisticated kind.

Oh, and as far as what happened with my old crew, Billy and Hank, well, honestly, I haven't heard from them yet, so, LOL, that tells me that they stood by the corner of the old Boat House and smiled, just guessing, of course and Terry, well, he keeps reminding that our "first date" is behind us now, so.

End Skeeter 07