Skylar Raincloud 01

Skylar Raincloud 01

Hi everyone, I'm Skylar and no matter how my story sounds or progresses, it is not about my roommate, Jay. I'm also here to confirm first hand that all the chatter on Chang about how I pamper him are grossly over exaggerated and that he is not living the life Riley over here. I mean, Riley was my previous tenant and unlike Jay, she helped out around the house.

This story is about a tie score, my attempts to keep the score tied because I haven't adventured into the world of being with a guy yet and my stupid attempts to break the tie because my roommate's friend, Taylor, seems to show an interest in me, I think. Sometimes things are a little confusing, unless I'm dealing with the roomie because even though his words and actions seem and sound confusing, the message is always clear, hey, do something for me and things like that.

"Roomie, um, are you decent? I want to talk to you. Is your bedroom door unlocked?"

"You can come in Jay."

Oh, hi again folks, I'm Skylar and I have a slightly overweight roommate, who is crazy afraid that he will catch me in a compromising position if he barges into my bedroom, like I would let that happen.

"Alright, listen Skylar, it seemed to me that you and Taylor were, um, arguing last weekend, like giving each other the business and I wanted to know if, ah, there are any issues that I need to know about."

"It's fine, Jay. It was just a little back and forth, so it was a tie."

"Ah, OK then. Um, I'm almost finished cooking some Bacon, so do you want me to make you a BLT sandwich?"

"Is that the same as the Bacon is still in the refrigerator under the package of cheese slices?"

"Well, I can't make the cult star out of two slices of cheese like you do and I have to sort out all of my fishing equipment for my trip tomorrow, so, yeah, it's the same."

Hah, a slightly overweight roommate with all the excuses, right?

"Jay, were you going to text Taylor to see if he was hungry too? I mean, you like having company while you eat on the back deck and sort out your fishing equipment has never been unsorted, right?"

"Oops."

Hi again, I'm Skylar and I spoil my roomie for some stupid reason, but he is not the reason that I have a cheap door lock on my bedroom door. And as far as his friend Taylor goes, well, a little back and forth never hurt anyone, hopefully. Besides, like I said, it was a tie.

Also, I can sizzle the bacon as well as anyone else.

"Jay, are you going to text him or not?"

"Because a little back and forth never hurt anyone, right Skylar?"

"Oh, are we sneaking peeks at my blog journal now, Jay?"

"Oops, ah, you talk in your sleep, um, hey, um, is the coffee done brewing yet? I pushed the button."

Hah, a slightly overweight roommate with all the excuses and a fine cup of coffee, right?

Also, no, he didn't push the brew button. I mean, he was too busy sorting out all of his perfectly sorted fishing equipment, right?

Hey, it's Skylar once again and my roomie is about to push my buttons because I don't think he pushed any buttons on his texting screen yet!

"Ah, Skylar, I just texted Taylor and he replied that you texted him, so am I in the middle of your back and forth now? Also, did you change your clothes? Like while you were sizzling the Bacon?"

"Oops."

Hah, a slightly overweight roommate with all the excuses, a fine cup of coffee and in the middle of my back and forth with Taylor, right?

OMG, I don't mean to be a pest, but it's Skylar again and of course I changed. I mean, I wanted to talk to Taylor before he settled into his bromance time with the roomie and sometimes that takes extra effort. Besides, I don't have the nerve to mention to Taylor that I didn't mind going back and forth with him last weekend, so he needs to figure that out for himself. And by not having the nerve, I mean he needs to be the one who breaks the tie.

And let the tie breaker begin because his truck has a very distinctive sound to it, not like I had one eye on the driveway or anything as I prepared the BLT's.

"Oh, hey Taylor, come on in. Jay is on the back deck with his feet up and sipping his coffee."

"Oh, so he's sorting out his fishing equipment? By the way, what exactly do you mean when you say it's a tie? I mean, you say that all the time."

"Never mind all that for now, but it's a tie. The BLT's will be ready in just a few minutes, but I would like to know something before you join your friend out back. And don't get excited, I'm not going to carry on and on about last weekend, but this past Wednesday evening, um, were we, um, well, Taylor, were we sexting? I mean, would other people say that we were sexting and not just texting?"

"Oh, well, some would say that we were sexting, but no one else should have enough information to make such a judgement. I mean, that's between just us, right Skylar?"

"Oh, absolutely, this is our business, but it was a tie, right? I mean, our sexting, um, you were a little aggressive and then I became a little aggressive and it's a tie, right?"

"Oh, I see where we're going with this. Um, I guess it's fair to say that it was a tie. But, last weekend's back and forth was not a tie, right?"

"It was a tie!!!!!!!!!!"

Oops, it's me again and I just want to make it clear that the previous weekend was clearly a tie! It takes two to go back and forth, so it was a tie!

"Fine, we're all tied up or something. Did you want me to help you carry out the sandwiches outside or can I just go out there and put my feet and tell fishing story lies with Jay?"

"I'll take care of lunch, but you should expect a note under your sandwich that asks if you really want to go fishing with Jay tomorrow or do you want stay behind and maybe break our tie."

"Well, if nothing else, you really know to break the ice, Skylar. So, will my BLT sandwich have two slices of cheese that resembles a cult star? Also, please don't put a note under my sandwich."

Hah, a slightly overweight roommate with all the excuses, a fine cup of coffee who is caught up in the middle of my back and forth with Taylor and with bad timing, right?

"Alright you two, break up this back and forth which is clearly a tie and let's get to lunch! Not that I could overhear from the back deck where, by the way, there are no BLT sandwiches! I mean, I slaved away in the kitchen to make all this happen and stuff, so let's eat!"

"Excuse me, roomie???? Who slaved?"

"Well, I bought the B and the T and the L, so it's a tie, right Skylar?????"

Hah, a slightly overweight roommate with all the excuses, a fine cup of coffee who is caught up in the middle of my back and forth with Taylor, with bad timing and a lapse in memory and good judgement, right? Well, I guess his judgement that it was a tie was pretty spot on.

"Oh, like I said, excuse me, roomie?"

"Fine, all I did was to wake up this morning, but you're the one who spoils me all the time, so it's still a tie. Come on, Taylor, let's go relax on the deck while talk about all the hot chicks, I mean Trout, that we are going to catch tomorrow."

Oh, no, the roomie is not in the contest, so there is no tie between his slightly overweight self and the very small and slender me!

Alright, last time, hi, I'm Skylar and I keep score of things. And I'm telling you that everything in my life is a tie. My back and forth with Taylor last weekend was a tie, even though we disagree on the score keeping. Taylor believes I twerked him and I say that he was dry humping me, but either way, it was a tie. Taylor also viewed our sexting a little differently last Wednesday. I may have asked if he wanted if he wanted a special selfie, but he clearly replied with "ah, sure, why not", so that was a tie too.

So, it's on him that he would rather go fishing with the roomie instead of engaging in a possible tie breaker with me over the weekend. And by the way, I wear a visor very well, so I would look great in a fishing boat. You know, like a big fishing boat that doesn't rock in the waves or sink.

"Alright Skylar, thanks for lunch, but listen, I have a few things to do this afternoon and Taylor has a few things to do this afternoon, but after all that we think after that we should just rest up tonight, so???"

"Ugh, dinner service with a smile while you veg out in front of the TV?"

"Hey, you know I treat you better than that. You can pick up something from the Deli instead of slaving away in the kitchen like I do all the time."

(Arms folded with those evil eyes look and a good hair day)

"Fine, I don't deserve you, but let's remember that you don't ever ask me to move out or to change, so it's a tie."

Nah, I don't want him to change. He pushes my buttons sometimes, but he's so super cool with my cross dressing, so that makes it hard to fight with him. Plus, you know, Taylor is his friend.

"And just what would be the theme of this evening of rest, Jay? It matters to what type of food I pick up from the Deli, which you're paying for, by the way."

"Oh, you know, just a relaxing night in front of the TV with some good food. Who knows, maybe a cooking competition show, like Bottom Shelf Chef or something."

"WHAT? Are you serious? OMG, I'll serve your roasted chicken in my undies or something! I get the arm chair!!!!!!"

"LOL, oh my, wouldn't Taylor like that! LOL, not to mention how that would be the beginning of a tie breaker between you and your crush."

Hah, a slightly overweight roommate with all the excuses, a fine cup of coffee who is caught up in the middle of my back and forth with Taylor, with bad timing, an attitude, with memory lapses and funny jokes, right?

"Alright then, for teasing with me, no seasoning on your plate and it's still a tie between Taylor and I. Also, while we're teasing each other, what you said earlier today, um, just how many hot chicks do think you're going to hook tomorrow?"

"Well roomie, on my own, probably none but, and hear me out, with your crush tagging along, well, well, well, I'm sure we'll bag our limit!"

SNAP, right? I mean, snap!

"So, Skylar, don't forget those mashed potatoes from the Deli and while you're there, it wouldn't kill you let Darla behind the counter know how helpful I am around the house. I mean, don't tell her how fat I've gotten, but you know, put in a good word for me."

Oh, I'll put in a few good words for him alright. Well, actually they would make a good couple, except for all the pampering Jay requires or the fact that Darla is involved with someone already.

Also, Deli's, right? The amazing food scents smack you right in the face as soon as you open the door.

"Hey Skylar, I figured this order was for your house when I noticed the side order of roasting grease. So, how is the roomie and is he still all madly in love with me?"

"Oh, he's getting fat, he doesn't do anything around the house and he's going fishing all day tomorrow for Trout and hot chicks!"

"Oh, well, you seem upset, so we'll go with slightly overweight and then we'll go with oh my, the Trout don't stand a chance and then let's round all that off with LMAO, seriously, what are the odds of my fat little dough boy actually hooking a hot chick?"

"Taylor is going too!"

"Oh, well, that changes the odds, doesn't it? So, is that why you seem so gloomy today? Is there a situation going on that I should be spreading all over Chang? I'm asking for a friend. Also, I'm recording this."

"Not helping, Darla."

"Fine, look, I'd suggest that you have Taylor help you clean up after you serve the roasted chicken and then suck him dry, but I can't guarantee that will keep him from fishing around because their damn balls seem to start filling up again as soon as one pops the top. So, Skylar, who made a move on who and how many moves have been made and don't mumble."

"It's a tie and stop recording me."

"Oh, I see, well, a guy won't deal with a "tie" for very long, so officially, you're the reason that my fat little dough boy is possibly going to get lucky, unless you break the tie and break it quick and hard. And in case you're stupid, that means you need to break the seal of your lips, tonight!"

Snap, cute girl behind the counter logic, right? Not that I was anywhere near the point of breaking any ties. I mean, creating each and every tie was actually quite fun and should be viewed as good enough by absolutely everyone, right?

"Oh, Skylar, before you leave, um, this is going to be a messy meal, so try not to pamper Jay too much afterwards. I mean, the word is that Jay is living quite the life of Riley and enjoying being your roomie, right? Besides, I almost have enough evidence that Adam is cheating on me, so get to work on your own crush and stop pampering my future fat little dough boy!"

"I don't give the roomie sponge bathes, so stop posting that! And just so you know, Riley only moved out because my undies were one size smaller than her undies and she couldn't handle it, but she keeps in touch. Also, the photographic evidence you seek is all over Chang, but that's none of my business."

Hah, Adam has been cheating on her for quite some time, not that it doesn't work both ways. As a matter of fact, the word is that they cheated on each other by thinking they were both someone else in Clyde's dark basement a month ago. I mean, they cheated, but not really, right? LOL, it was a tie.

"Hey! That story is not true, Skylar, so you stop posting about impossible situations! We were, ah, we role playing to spice things up!"

Hah! It's a totally true story, but back to my dinner guests.

"Alright guys, the chicken is on the kitchen table because you're not eating this greasy mess in my living room in front of the TV. So, Jay, assume your master seat at the table and Taylor, as our honored guest, could you please help me carry the biscuits from the kitchen?"

LOL, not that I have ever asked for help in the kitchen before.

"So, what's up Skylar? You've never been known to ask for help in the kitchen before, so what's this all about? Also, are those new shorts? LOL, your smooth legs are a tie."

"Well, I was watching the evening news and they said that all fishing was closed for tomorrow, so you let Jay go on his own and you come visit with me so we can watch more news and figure out how to break this tie."

"Or they broke into regular programming and announced that some unidentified donor increased the prize money because it's the biggest fishing tournament around. So, that sounds like a tie."

"Or it was cancelled because of how many hot chicks carry their beverages around inside of their bikini tops while they fish."

"Or that's exactly why old man Kendall kicked in the extra money. Hmmm, tie, as you say. Enough back and forth now, Skylar?"

"You and your responses to everything suck! Who do you think you are, my roomie? Or Riley?"

"LOL, sucking? That's your tie breaking job."

Oops, ah, oops. Ah, oops.

And by oops, I mean I was shocked and couldn't manage to continue the back and forth, but he and Jay sure managed to devour those roasted chickens!

So, I retired to my bedroom for the evening and let the guys kick back and relax and dream up fishing lies. But in my favor, they had to call the night early because of that fishing and the butt crack of dawn things, so in my favor, Taylor gently rapped on my bedroom door, which I answered quickly, not like I standing patiently waiting for him by my bedroom door to break our tie.

"Jay's asleep and I'm taking off, Skylar. Dinner was great, by the way, as always. Oh, by another way, um, Jay seemed to fall asleep pretty quickly, so did you spike his chicken or mashed potatoes?"

"Never mind all that. He's out cold and you're standing in my bedroom doorway. I mean, if there was ever a moment to break our tie, this would be it. By the way, now that you completely stepped into my bedroom on your own Taylor, let me close and lock the door."

"Ah, OK, so do you know what to do, Skylar? I mean, I'm not sure what to do next."

"No, I don't, so it's a tie. However, according to the multiple comment menu boxes that are flashing all over my laptop screen right now, well, there only seem to be a few choices. Sit on my bed and read a few while I try to catch my breath and wipe the sweat beads from my forehead. Take your time."

"Ooh, this is one is cool!"

Ah, you all heard me say it, right? Take your time, quote, unquote.

"Whoa, this one is even cooler! I mean, for our first time breaking the tie."

Oh, that sounded better. At least easier on me, right?

"Ugh, Taylor, um, how about this other comment box? And don't give me those sad eyes. Some things require sexual aids such a sex gel, oh, and a swing and OMG, a body harness! OK, whew, let's get back down to earth."

"Fine, how about this one from Angela Jaye. She says to just keep it simple. I mean, you started all this, right Skylar?"

Hah, AJ also says to suck him until I gag and oh, then to see comment box number two, which I don't think Taylor pick up on.

"Fine, but it will still be a tie. I'll kneel in front of you, but you're going to have to do the work."

"I'll take that tie, Skylar. And by the way, take a screen shot of your laptop because I may have missed a few of the comments from your followers on Chang."

End Skylar Raincloud 01