All Comments on 'Slave Girl Ch. 01'

Thoroughly enjoyed it...next chapter please...

I thoroughly enjoyed this on many levels, don't make us wait too long for the next chapter! :)

Nice structure to the start of the story and it continued to build well. Having created the idea, please continue to include Mother & Brenda. Thank you and keep writing!

I would love to read more of this well-written story. Thank you for bringing it to us -- five stars.

This was waaaaaaay better than your last story, hasnoalias. Keep up the good work!

Fantastic story can't wait for the next chapter hopefully coming very soon.

Five 'likes' from me too. Waiting for the next chapter.

"She made use her kitten saw her insert"

What? You lost me there. Don't know why you aren't using spell check either...

Too bad the grammar mistakes took a little away from the story. Still worth 5 stars though. I hope you find an editor for the next chapter.

A wonderful and well written story! Feelings throughout, and put to a comfortable pace! I'm looking forward to more of this story! Thank you!

Enjoyed it tremendously and encouraged by the indication Ch. 01.

Loved it keep it going

Hot and Heart. Love it.

I would suggest, rather less harshly than the anonytolls, that you do use spell check. The errors were minor and some sentences were a bit odd at times, but nothing that took away from the story. Please use spell check and maybe run it by an editor.

But most of all

MORE PLEASE!!!!

I started reading the story and got pissed off and stopped. the entire first part of the story was about guys and I couldn't figure out why it was a Lesbian story with nothing but guys in it. I really HATE people that tag their stories as lesbian only to find out that they are bi. I don't like men in Lesbian stories. So I quit reading it.

But then I went back and read further into the story and saw where it was headed. I like Alexandra and Brenda as a couple and I like Danielle and kitten as a couple. You did a very good job of building the characters so that they are people that we can relate to (at least to me anyway). Yes, there were some grammar issues (couple of times you used "he" where it should have been "she"), things like that, but they did not detract from the story.

I also would like to see additional chapters. If you are so inclined, I have a suggestion for additional chapters. 1) kitten, reveals her entire past to Danielle, Alexandra and Brenda and Danielle resolves to make papa pay for his crimes. 2) papa is exposed as having forced kitten to commit her crime which results in papa being enslaved to the mayor. 3) Kitten's mother enslaved to Alexandra's household for not protecting her daughter. Including making Mommy submit to Kitten as a sex slave. 4) Based upon the abuse Kitten had to endure and papa forcing her to commit a crime, Kitten is granted amnesty becoming a free woman. But Kitten loves Danielle and pleads with Danielle to keep her as a sex slave. 5) Danielle does keep kitten as a sex slave and marries her as well.

Just some thoughts that ran amok in my mind as I was reading.

BTW, the "thank you" was for writing a lesbian story that did not include sex with a guy (although I understand the need to reference Anthony and sex with him as a reference point).

Ed

i loved reading this, pls make ch. 02 happen fast!

I loved this story & I can't wait for part 2 to be written.

Thank you so much I love it! I love how you developed the characters and how the story was written except the minor errors that can be fixed other than that you have written an amazing story and i am looking forward to continuing of chapters.

Looking forward to Chapter 2!!

:-)

Loved this story! Can't wait for CH. 2

Awesome....please more!!!!!!

I LOVE this story! Emotional and very hot. Can't wait to keep reading!

And I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Thanks for sharing it with us!

I've read this story twice now , and enjoyed it both times , I like how you enter twin all the emotions and feeling that go with this line of thinking

Love this story, please continue

That was absolutely brilliant. So beautiful in every way. Thank you, Mistress.

I do so enjoy reading what is so obviously a beautiful love story and hope it has a happy ending

I hope you write more of the universe

While this is not my normal reading choice, this story was absolutely magical. The feeling of the spark of love between them was excellent, and the development throughout the story was very good. I would encourage some minor editing for grammar and flow. This is some very good writing. Thank you.

Love live love this. More, please! I love Danielle and Angela!

Love it... absolutely!!

A really nice story!!!! Not what I was looking for but I like it a lot!!!! Great job!!!!!

Oh boy (or more appropo, 'Oh girl'), was this good. Def going to part 02, and beyond.

great story, definitely needs second chapter..

Loved the story. I look forward to reading chapter 2.

Great story so far…thank you…love how you build the characters and let the story evolve…

Very good story, Well told.

Some minor typos but not serious to prevent enjoying this good story. Wonder if Angela will get revenge on her father and if her mother is abused as well.

Of course she'll get revenge. This is your prototypical man hater r' us story.

reframed is not what you meant. Refrained is what you meant as in curb you enthusiasm.

Than is not to used either, as THEN is the word you are looking for. At that time is an adverb. OR, that time, is a Noun

There is another word but i forgot what it was. lol

I know what it was. in her stomach, ON her stomach is the word you are looking for