All Comments on 'Slave Grading Mom'

Garbage, at least try and write in English !

Is this?

I found it almost impossible to read and completely baffling. Perhaps you could rewrite it in some kind of English and re-submit? I decided not to vote on this at all.

Impossible to read.

This needs to be both spell checked and proof read.

Also never assume people understand what you mean when using acronyms.

The made up jargon was really well done, and far easier to read (once I got into it) than some writers are when they try to use proper english.

I'm normally the first to think #getaneditor, but in this case the complainers are complaining for the wrong reason. I can understand not liking it, but saying it was written poorly is outright wrong.

Great story, lot of fun to read. Kind of surprising that the other commenters didn't get it. #WTF? Can't they tell Valley Nadsat when they hear it?

Looked like you were heading to an all time low score, which is pretty impressive. I'm afraid I 5-bombed you. Sorry about that. Hopefully they'll remove it when they do the sweeps.

your writing skills are ... lets say ... they need to be improved

This is really bad. Too many acronyms and the bwet-nick language is impossible to read and follow.

Great idea but poor writing.

Don't worry about the commenters who are too lazy to think when they read! Writing slang is very difficult, and you pulled it off brilliantly. 5 stars and envious applause!

This was great! I had to use Urban Dictionary for some of the acronyms but I imagine it was even harder to write that way. I'm always looking forward to your next story.

That was a one-flip first-flip no-look mic-drop walkaway piece right there, dude. Foshizzle mah literizzle.

Liked the concept but was too hard to read.

Eventually you gotta give the people what they want. And that's the conclusion to the Victoria series. Well, thats what I want lol

.. so hard to read, it takes me back having to study Chaucer at school, but with added bondage.

Glad you're still writing the slave stories, hope Victoria will soon escape from the limbo she seems to have been trapped in for the last year (but not from her owner!)

I am so glad that you are re-visiting a story scenario that has so much promise. I do hope you continue with it. Also, Can you let us know Victoria's ultimate fate ? Either in the jungle. Or back home in London

I have actually completed a draft of the conclusion to the Victoria story, and I'd be delighted if someone would like to give it a pre-read in the next week or so.

Thank you very much for the positive feedback on Slave Grading Mom. It was definitely a stylistic experiment, and difficult to write, but sometimes it's fun to try something a bit different, whether it completely works or not.

Good to hear you're almost done with the next Victoria story! I'm not much of a proofreader so I can't help you out there. Do you have an eta when it's gonna be up?

I'm like so into all your stuff. This one is like uber rad. Let's hear it from the Momster's POV. And I want to hear how Wet both are from all the fingertips in all the wrong places. This 1 has great potential. Just don't wimp out and let the Dadster put a stopp on the action. Maybe he can have moral delima with the $ s and mortgage balloon payment comming due until M and D are both sold to the pervy old guy next door.

GLAD TO HEAR MORE FROM VICTORIA IS ON THE WAY!

I guess I'm not the demographic that this author was writing for. Too bad. It might be a good story but I got tired of trying to translate into the English I learned.

Yes, I'm an old fart.

So much effort for so little return. Works so hard to be so clever that it forgets to be interesting. Bit of a pattern to your subject matter and writing style. Try something new.

I keep coming back to read this one. It's so clever, not only for the slang but for the concepts and plot explained so succinctly. I had to look up a lot, but as with William Shakey it's definitely worth it. **MORE!**

I had a little bit of trouble with the slang, but it came across. It's an interesting concept, and I liked it.

It's nothing about age, but taking an interesting concept and delivering it as basically a bunch of teen-speak tweets diminishes the delivery.

A couple of YOLOs for flavor? Sure.

The entire story? Nope.

excellent story hope to see more chapters like some how the little brother(son) ends up owning them both

To have one or two characters do it is fine. But the whole story?

I hate giving negative comments, but I have principles: can't write it anonymous, I don't want to be another anonymous troll.

Sounds like a story written by a 13 year old high on crack. Interesting idea, modern slavery and all but sweet God in heaven, can't you at least stop and better it over time with some grammar and post THEN, once a trail of thought and grammar stability is established?

I have read a number of your stories and consider myself a fan. Yes, I like your work that well...most of the time. I felt like I needed a translator. Seriously do teens really talk like that. I actually had trouble following the story. And forget liking it. Which was too bad because the premise was promising. I hope that you consider a rewrite that's a little more understandable.

I think the slang works, it tells us something important about the protagonist and helps her actions and missteps make sense. I didn't think it was too hard to decipher, on the contrary I thought some of the slang was pretty clever - "Taylor Swiftboat" was hilarious.

The public humiliation, the interactions of friends and family members, and some other elements (like the protagonist knowing the grader) were a big inspiration for my own attempts at stories in a similar universe.

I'm especially interested in the idea of accidental enslavement like in this story, and I'll be exploring it in one of my future stories.

All I can say is thank you for this story: I admire the risk you took, how well IMO you pulled it off, it inspired me, and most of all I thoroughly enjoyed it. I still come back and read it from time to time!

And I am not reading any more.

........already lost boner

The teen speak is a little off putting. It is close to how teens talk, but it makes for difficult reading. Otherwise, cool premise, and good execution. I would have given it more stars if it weren't for the teen speak.

I thought I had already commented on this story, but not so. I did have to read it twice to settle into the slang, but I think that it’s one of the most technically accomplished pieces on Literotica. I understand some might find the slang off putting. I stopped a Mark Twain book because I found the dialect hard to deal with. But I feel that I’m seeing the mind of a teenager here.

GREAT JOB!

not too bad a story the teen talk was a little dated and hard to follow, but that being say pretty good story. been 6 years since submitted time to complete the story.

Brilliant! Like reading Shakespeare I got into the rhythm and the language. The idea worked so well, I'm going to use it but in another English type. Real English? No such thing, listen to a Glaswegian and he'll tell you he's speaking English but you won't understand a word, or is that woyd, in New York?

I liked the idea of the story but found it rather boring. PLAIN english would have been better., not the lingo that was used.

This feels like reading an Influencer-Blog in a weird legal-slavery-world.

But I totally like it.

The slang is really well used. It raises the tension, which the the whole situation grants. It makes the whole (hopefully never to get real) scenario feel more unique and real and sucks me as reader deep into it, even if I understand only half of the terms.

Great written.