All Comments on 'Slave's Submission'

brilliant work! i hope to see more of Severen...i love this take on submission. great writing!

jac xx0

loved this story and your take on submission.. great piece of writing and i hope to see more of Severen :)

jac xx0

A most interesting story. But your attention to detail is sloppy, in particular the tense changes. Having started in present tense you need to stick with it. That's what a good slave does: she obeys the rules.

I apologize. I always have a problem with tense changes. I'll try and fix that in the future. Also chapt. 2 (Slave's Desire) and Chapt. 3(Slave's Request) are available for your enjoyment and critique.

A very good short story that I hope is going to be extended to show how the slave adapts to her new life and Master.

That was.. bad...horrible. Not sure how you got those good reviews. Not BDSM it was assault. It was non-consensual.

I like this story but hated what her 1st master did to her yes he was sick but in the 1st part of the story seemed to care for her then he leaves her with the monster of a master hope in the next parts shes able to tell him off for that and hope this master is better

VERY well written slave.. Meistroli