by Ink22
I just found and read this story today Jan. 22, 2017. I am 66 years old and I would like to read more of their adventures while I'm still young.
I liked the background and build up, but the ending seemed very rushed. Perhaps you could revisit this if you haven't already. :)
I have to agree with topace. The boy should have unloaded his young balls up his mother's cunt, filled hit with all his creamy young sperm, and made her pregnant.
It's good, but I would have liked to see the son cum in his mom, plus then you remove the implication of the mom not noticing dried cum on her the next day.
Good story - loved the plot...so much potential! I would suggest revising and expanding the story - what's here is excellent erotica, but would love to have seen more build-up - a naughty dance of mother and son sleepwalking before the big payoff...or perhaps you will continue this with more story to come! In any case, well done! Looking forward to the next!
Forget the negative comments. Tell them to write a story. I think this is a great start. I'm looking forward to more of your stories.
Mom doesn't notice the next morning that she's covered in dried cum?
You have captured the feelings and actions of many sons. The peeping and jerking off is so realistic. It seems you got a little carreied away at the end. Stay real, you have a lot of feelings and emotions that can be appreciated.
...but take the extra time to proof your work. There are a couple errors in it. Great story, will make for a good series if you take it that way!
Good luck!
As others have said this story is great, I'd love to see more!
You've set the scene very well for more adventures I hope you add to the story.
Pete
i enjoyed this story, it was unusual in its premise, hope you write more
Continue your story. It is good so far. Will be interesting to see where things lead.