All Comments on 'Slingshot'

That was really good, hit all the right notes and made me feel for both the characters..excellent

This is the same story as Our Special Night by Dalton402????

I’m insanely frustrated. The moderators took the text of my story and put it under his title. So that story is getting a lovely amount of traffic and comments.

Hopefully the moderators will fix it soon.

This is an amazing story. Brilliantly written. It got accidentally posted to loving wives, otherwise I'd never had seen it and I'm so glad I did. Going to church of your other works now. Thank you for sharing. - gb

*check out 🤣

Thanagar...

AFTER I posted my comment below, I read the comments and saw your note about the odd screw-up with the story.

In order to at least give you the credit you absolutely deserve, I'm notching 5 stars on the story here,in YOUR name, and also following you for the reasons I mentioned in my comment. I hope the moderators get this fixed because you have certainly established your bona files with this great work !

HERE IS THE COMMENT POSTED WITH YOUR STORY ERRONEOUSLY:

.

Five stars and a follow for what I think is an amazing tale that absolutely fits in Loving Wives... with a dash of SciFi.

But, between the two categories, IMHO, it had to be in LW because Gemma/Emma was truly a loving partner, even if not a wife in the literal sense...

...but it was obvious she loved him, totally.

Very nicely done, and I'm looking forward to reading more of your tales !

beautiful story 5 stars

This is a magnificent story. It is complex, emotional, impossible, and utterly compelling. A great achievement. Thank you.

PS I read this first in its misplaced position. I probably wouldn't have read it under Sci-Fi. I would have missed out ;(

Wow. Just wow.

Well done, a clever story.

Incredible. Thank You.

"Our Special Night" in LW, and "Slingshot" in SciFi. Same story, same day, different authors? Doesn't change the merits of the story, but what gives?

A wonderful love story. Very glad that the admins got things straightened out. Gonna have to read more of your work. 5*

How is the exact same story published under two different names? Dalton402 and thanagar ???

Wow, just wow. The lack of an exclamation point is deliberate. I could have put enough to exceed the comment character limit and it wouldn’t be sufficient, so why bother?

Influences of both The Door Into Summer and All You Zombies so I assume you’re a Heinlein fan.

Playing games like this with the paradoxical logic of time travel, combined with subtle (and not so subtle) humor, all enwrapped in a superbly mushy story of doomed love which would make everyone involved with Titanic turn green with envy before expiring with frustrated humiliation.

Plot twists delivered via a Klein bottle.

< Obligatory complaint re inadequate amount of stars available.>

Wonderful mishap. Five stars.

Time travel wouldn’t exist unless a time traveler went back in time to help in its creation. That paradox always leaves me queasy. Btw I read this where it was mis-attributed in the loving wives section, and glad I did. Enjoyed it so much I didn’t notice there was no loving wife involved.

I read this story under another name in the LW category, and left a comment about the mismatch on category, and most of the tags, and voted on it. Then I saw "Slingshot" at the top of Sci-Fi, and went surely not. It surely is. Great story, and you can have your 5 too.

Sorry about your problems posting this story. I posted my comments under the other authors name. Definitely 5*s. One of the best stories I've ever read on here.

What groaningbump said. Best story I've read on Lit. One of the best stories I've read anywhere. I'm just sorry I've finished it now. This is make a living from writing good. Thank you.

THANAGAR Along with other BS you've had to put up with on , the quite lengthy and extremely complimentary comment I made about 4 hours ago has either disappeared or never got moderated/posted. The short summary would be great story - wonderful combination of manipulating time travel tropes, wicked subtle humor, wicked not so subtle humor, and as off beat a romance as you could possibly imagine. Not that I would ever be caught dead reading a romance you understand. I ended with the <Obligatory complaint about an insufficenct quantity of stars to award.> I'm too lazy to try to recrate it, so you will just have to imagine all the clever ways I had express my appreciation. My previous vote apparantly got counted. This is a mixed blessing since otherwise I could have awarded you 10 stars.

This mistakenly was posted to loving wives under Dalton.

This is a remarkable, tragic and wonderful romance.

Full marks.

Really confused as I read the story posted by Dalton first, but glad I could find your page through that. Great story

Read it first in Loving Wives category and learned about the mix-up in the comments. It is a great story with real emotional impact. It is one of the best Si-Fi stories I’ve read anywhere in the last 5 years. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have been a loyal reader of your stories on lit since your first one. This is the best so far. A bit of an emotional roller coaster, which to me is a sign of a great story. It shows I was completely invested in your characters in the story.

I 'm sorry for the inconvenience Literotica has caused you. This is an excellent story, even if the vote for valentine gets messed up because of this screw up. Unfortunately, not the first time on the site...

Everyone says the Loving Wives category is both vicious and rewarding. It gets a lot of readers, but we can get mean. I'm saying this because you sounded irritated your story is getting such accolades over there, and not here were you posted it. I want you to know it's a double edged sword, like LW always is. Your story got stuck over there under someone else's name, and that sucks. On the other hand, I would never have read this fantastic story if it hadn't been posted over there. But I did, and I love it. It has everything the best LW stories have, characters that grip you, and heart breaking emotion. Thanks for writing it. I enjoyed reading it.

I saw this story disappeared from one title and saw that it reappeared here with tags that made sense. No offense to the other author, but Slingshot was very good and didn't seem to fit in with their other works.

I gave it 5 stars before and will do it again here. I will even throw in a F&F (fave & follow) to help compensate. They cost nothing and gives me a heads up on future offerings. Skol.

WOW! Thank you for sharing your story. I know I will be reading this story many time in the future.

Holy shit - best Valentines Day story this year by far. I know it is science fiction, but this take belongs in Romance where it gets more exposure. 5.0*

Others here - and on LW - have definitely said it! HOLY SHIT and WOW cover it. I was enthralled and eager to keep reading it but it ended far too soon. Please share more of your gift

Time travel is always problematical! Concentrating on the human cost, makes it meaningful in a way that science never could.

Thanks for writing this.

Damn it dude this is *really* good! Like, you should expand upon it and make it a full novel and shop it around!

This is truly outstanding. I am a SF geek, and especially time travel. This story has the best focus on the human aspect of it that I've ever seen.

Your writing is consistently excellent, and this story manages to make me enjoy time travel, which is a device I normally LOATHE. Only one other story managed to do that, and it wasn't on Literotica.

Fantastic stuff.

Fine literature.

What a movie this would make, but will there ever be time for it?

Extremely well done and so bittersweet

I have been reading stories on this site for probably ten years. This may honestly be the best one I have ever read. Thank you

Asimov with sex and emotions?

!!!!! This is my first comment in some time. I can only think of one word. Riveting. As a past third place winner in a Valentine's contest, I'm almost jealous. You've got my vote.

Perfect well written.

Be number one rhis year. You deserve it

@LenardSpencerabout 2 hours ago

How is the exact same story published under two different names? Dalton402 and thanagar ??? //

yer not as smart as U think U R

Like others, I commented under the incorrect Dalton version - I hope those and others can be corrected by site admins. I said it might be the best story I have read on Lit so I’ll repeat it here! You did a great job with this it’s in my favourites and I want to thank you for the good work you posted. Great characters and plot well developed and written 5 stars.

Outstanding story!

I got something in my eye...

Thank you!

Fabulous.

Really good. I never read science fiction so selfishly, I am glad for the earlier mix up. Thank you.

Damn. Amazing story. This deserves to win all the things.

I want to start by thanking the person responsible for posting this under loving wives. I never would have found this wonderful story otherwise. Fantastic story from beginning to end. Now I need to start reading some of your other works. Thank you for a great read!

When I started reading it was in Loving Wifes Glad to find it in Sci-Fi where it belongs Enjoyed the ride, maybe someday it will be. You get my vote as winner

Here is my advice. Drop the part about his daughter being able to slow or speed up time. Replace it with some other way to allow time-travers to stay longer, then get an agent and head to Hollywood.

This will be the top grossing movie of 2028! Trust me, I know. You should also take all of your money and bet it on the Lions to win the 2024 Super Bowl.

I’m not very savvy on the working of lit erotica, so I was extremely confused and disappointed when the story disappeared at LW. It even disappeared from the history on my phone. All I had to go on was the name Gemma and I remembered it was about time travel. I’m so grateful I found it.

This was beyond good. Even brought a tear to my eyes thinking about what could have been. Cannot say enough about how good this story is.

Fucking time travel!

Fabulously done!

Thank you, for an outstanding story!

Ds

Wonderful. And the TML jokes will never get old.

5 Stars

Best story on Literotica.com ever. Hands down.

I'm a huge fan of sci-fi, and time travel stories are usually horrible. They either have massive plot holes, or they are so twisted and complex that you can't actually follow them. The only time travel story that I've ever read that was this good was "Millenium" by John Varley. If you have not read the book, you should absolutely do so. Your story is very close - if you actually have read it, then you changed it just enough.

Whatever you do, do not watch the movie! Consider yourself warned. It's a shame, because John Varley is actually a very nice person.

The best part is that you have characters that I cared about and became emotionally invested in.

Bravo. Again - best story ever.

Amazing. Really well thought out and beautifully written. I think this is probably my favorite LE story at least of last year, if not more; and probably top ten ever. This deserves to be professionally published if you remove the Xrated bits.

This story is a true masterpiece and certainly deserves a second chapter, where anything could happen... or maybe, even a little trip in the Future. Add the ingredients: Quantum, A.I. and maybe some E.S.P. powers and that will make a good basis for a new Marvel movie. Needless to say: 10+ stars !

A solid platform for this absolute great sci-fi novel, to grow in a multiple chapters serie. In the next part, the evilness is hiding in the grass and is ready to attack the time flow, to change it for personal interests. Some really dangerous villains, and some new discovered superpowers for our super-heroine, would make a possible interesting followup for this perfect story. Keep going. Full prize of course: 5* !

OMG! I thoroughly loved this story and the way it was told. 5 stars are not enough. Thank you.

Brilliant.

Thank you

Beautiful story, despite being a one shot I really connected with Gemma.

Wow. Just Wow. The best thing you have written to date (and that is saying a lot). I have nothing negative to say about this story.

First of your work I’ve read and so pleased I did — captivating, poignant, beautifully thought provoking. The characters so richly textured. Still trying to wrap my head around my feelings — romantic and otherwise. Very creative.

It isn't easy combining sci-fi and romance and yet you've done just that. I enjoyed every bit of the story. I enjoyed your characters, and did not anticipate the twist at the end. Excellent job.

So beautiful

Where’s the 5-star button, he said, hammering on it. Bad-ass well developed story and ending did not disappoint. I’m not even a sci-fi guy. Thank you

Wonderful, couldn't stop reading it and got so emotional at the ending. Trying to get my head round all the leaps back and forth. Makes me think, will it ever happen, or has it already....?

Thank you for that - Lovely

That was awesome!!

Wow!

Sweet Jesus, but that was spectacular.

One of the best stories on the site.

Wonderful story, not my first time travelling story, but for sure a real different approach. Thanks for writing this

Holy crap, what a freaking awesome story. I do not have enough superlatives to say about it.

Absolutely amazing story! So well written and such a great plot arc! Would love to know if you have any published sci-fi books.

If this doesn’t win the competition, I’ll be surprised. This is an incredible story. A twist on the time traveller’s wife that is brilliantly written. Thank you for sharing your remarkable imagination!

Brilliant!!!

Great characters. Great plot (how you came up with it is awesome). Nicely emotional.

Love the local. (Going to hate this) Go Leafs Go.

Wow, the best!!!. It was suddenly very dusty in my study....

Outstanding. Excellent take on time travel.

A story has te be real good to earn a 5, so I seldom give it. But this is so much better than any fives i've given, that i like to give it a six. An ingenious plot, real people, in a real world, real sex, no anything-goes magic, Musk-Miles, well written sentences, a story which has the right rhythm, not too fast nor too slow, no dysfunctional descriptions of nature, rooms or the weather. And when the story is finished, it stops. Don't try to write a sequel. I've seen several good stories take a wrong turn because an author thinks he has to go on.

That's a Five and a Fave from me! Ingenious story, good characters, with a good dollop of heartache thrown in. It would be difficult to better that in the time travel genre.

What a brilliant story. Thanks. 5⛤ easily.

Great story! Thank you for recategorizing it and sharing it with us ... again. Really well written and compelling.

Av very imaginative concept that was executed very well. Thanks.

Wooow wooow 🔥🔥🔥

5 stars all the way

Loved this

Great writing!

Skillful imaginative storyline. 💥🔥

Bless. What a wonderful tender surprising story. Thank you so much. Matt

Thanks for an AWESOME story. It definitely moved me. I haven't been much of a "Sci-Fi & Fantasy" genre fan but you have won me over with this one. Going in my "Favorites." I really enjoyed it.!!

A very interesting idea to be sure- - especially inside of an idea that has been frequently used and sometimes greatly abused over many different series and other media. You certainly provided several interesting twists... that really require some suspension of belief to accept, but I think they can reasonably be made....mostly. There are so many works or TV episodes that this possibly touches that it's insane, and I will mention some of them. However, I will say that this is still fairly unique within the idea of time travel, because it posits things that I've not heard of nor seen nor read before.

***

It's obvious that you are enough of a Star Trek fan that it appears you are a fan of the Original Series. It's also obvious you identify with Back to the Future, as well as Doctor Who. In fact, this story touches elements of Kirk returning Sean Christopher to his past so his son could be born in order to influence the space program. This also has elements of I believe the episode was the Doctor's daughter when Tennant was the Doctor? It also taps into the idea of the impossible girl - - who you will remember was Clara --as a companion to the Doctor. I also wasn't surprised when you mentioned the word spoilers, which obviously originated from the Peter Capaldi incarnation, when he said that to River Song and they spent 22 years together on Darillium. There are also elements from these other episodes: one is from the time where a discharge from the Defiant's warp core in DS9 strikes Sisko and he starts going back through time, causing Jake to have to pull him out and break the time loop; it seems to refer to the Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher, where he experienced adverse reactions to jumping back in time, trying to fix his relationship with his girlfriend; it also reminds me of an episode where 7 of 9 tries to help the USS Relativity capture Captain Braxton in the past so he doesn't destroy Voyager in order to prevent himself from having a future (in fact, the future 7 of 9 is incapacitated to where the past version of herself has to complete the mission); you even have the puddle jumper from Stargate SG-1 which can go back in time and did twice in the same episode; you also have the SG-1 episode of 1969, where one of the Stargate's wormholes effectively slingshotted around a star, causing the time travel. The only other time where a person was injured in some kind of time travel incident was the episode Timescape from the Next Generation, where Geordi, Picard and Troi had to use phase discriminators to protect them from the difference in time, because the flow of time was altered in the short distance between their shuttlecraft and the Enterprise and the Romulan Bird of Prey. The interesting thing about Meredith as the daughter is that she seems to possess a similar kind of power that Ilyria had in season 5 of Angel, where she could slow down time (but she was a super-powered ancient demon). I don't really know if you remember the episode, but it was one of the best ones from TOS: The City on the Edge of Forever, where Kirk goes back in time using the Guardian, to effectively meet and know Edith Keeler.. whom he has to stop McCoy from saving so the future evolves where the Nazis don't conquer the world and the Federation comes into existence. This piece kind of reminds me of effectively an Edith Keeler with mostly a happy ending. Additionally however, when using the Voyager episode where the Relativity had to try to capture Braxton, each temporal incursion- - which is exactly what this is - - always creates some fluctuation in the timeline, that has to be minimized by either again going back in time.. or even wiping the memory engrams of the people involved so that they don't remember the events that occurred. Then in the Voyager storyline Year of Hell part 1 and 2, we have the Krenim timeship that initiates all these temporal incursions, but is only saved because it is out of phase with normal time. However for each temporal incursion it creates over the nearly 200 years it exists, it creates and modifies the current time frame based on each temporal incursion it puts into effect. So in reality, these four temporal incursions could have had major and more far-reaching effects than the story accounts for. Even when we get to the older doctor in the form of Peter Capaldi, he states that there are always certain fixed points in time that cannot be changed or altered- - no matter how much he as a Doctor would like to change them--and while you have had the Toronto Maple Leafs never winning as a running joke... it could also serve to illustrate that very same point: that some some things in time are fixed events that will never change or can never change without risking serious consequences for perhaps billions of lives.

***

All that said, I can appreciate and treasure the fact that Gemma got to have a relationship with David, and not just ensure that he creates time travel. While I still don't fully buy the fact that time wanted to somehow punish somebody that didn't deserve to be there.. I suspend enough belief for this story, as it's kind of the only way it works to make this story unique. Where I sadly have to disagree with the majority is where Meredith gets created, because the fact the entire experience somehow makes her feel as if her molecules are being torn apart and requires such intense recovery time, it really presupposes any likelihood of Meredith existing. That is not to say that I don't absolutely love the idea; it's just that the story eliminates the possibility of her creation. There's also the issue of the sports teams- - because while David does need some kind of way to fend off Miles' attacks - - this is directly lifted from what Biff did in Back to the Future, in order to give his past self a way to get rich and basically take over the world. There just should have been some other device used in order to help him generate the wealth on the down low that would have allowed him to weather all those legal challenges and other kinds.

***

Something that could have added a little more humor to the Toronto Maple Leafs not winning the Stanley Cup would have been using one of the Rock's insults when he visited Canada which was this: "...The jabroni-beatin', pie eatin', Trail-blazin', eyebrow- raisin'...stronger than a bear, faster than a buck... the biggest thing to hit Canada... because the Maple Leafs suck!" (This is #2 on the Rock's Top 10 Verbal Smackdowns on YouTube.)

***

This is certainly a marvelous tale, and it has many elements which appear quite unique: it runs the full gamut of emotions; it's intelligently written it's got some good snark and banter; it's entertaining and smooth as silk to read. You have certainly gained a follower, a like and a love out of this story. I'm just sorry I have to be the one to point out the couple of things that needed alternate resolutions in order to allow for the things I mentioned. 4

I normally try not to respond to individual comments. Everyone is entitled to comment as long as it’s reasonably civil. The last thing you need is the author hovering over you and arguing over every little thing. But it’s not every day someone drops a 1,200+ word essay on my story and its correlation to contemporary time travel fiction,

First of all, thanks for this. I appreciate the time, effort and work you put into this comment. It’s hugely flattering you took so much time to respond to my story. It’s easily one of the most detailed comments on something I’ve ever written. And, if I may, to address a few points you raised:

That’s a staggering list of time travel fiction. I’ve read/scene a lot of it (Capaldi is my Doctor and “The Many Husbands of River Song” is one of my favorurite episodes). Although I am glad to say my cinematic Ashton Kutcher cherry remains unpopped as I’ve never seen Butterfly Effect. One of my favourite authors said to read as much as you can, let your subconscious absorb it and get it mixed up with other things so that when you sit in front of a keyboard, something weird comes out (I’m paraphrasing). It sounds like I managed to do that with Slingshot, which is great.

The notion of Time trying to kill Gemma is a case where another pass might have made this a little clearer. Time in this story isn’t ‘alive.’ Consider it more the gallows humour that people in high-risk professions have. Rather than getting into the complex biological and quantum reasons why it’s agonizing for her to be in the past, it’s easier for Gemma to joke that Time is a bitch and wants her dead.

I think I’m perfectly happy with the amount of Leafs humour here. It sets up Gemma’s financial save, and it’s a nice callback with Meredith. More than that and I think it risks becoming an in-joke that too many people won’t get or will be bored of.

Gemma’s financial save is something I went back and forth on. I considered stocks, but thought it would be too easy for David to become insanely rich and forgo his research altogether. Sports seemed better. Even in 2007, David would have to be careful with how and where he gambled. Suddenly investing in stocks that took off would to easy to trace, especially if you’re a well-connected, sociopathic billionaire. (Also, confession, I’ve never watched all of BtF 2 or 3. I’ve tried, but I just tune out. So I didn’t know that about Biff).

Ah, Meredith. I love her, and if I ever did a follow-up to Slingshot (unlikely), it would be about her. She probably also deserved another pass. I’m not fond of that power, but I needed a catalyst about why Gemma told her about her dad when she was 13. I also wished I’d referenced her grandmother/David’s mom during Gemma’s first slingshot. I think it makes the reveal at the bar land harder. But I love that despite the trauma of time travel and that Gemma knew the odds were impossible, she managed to be born anyway. Time travel is a miracle, but so is Meredith. And I simply love that too much.

Again, thank you for this. If I ever decide to expand the story to novel-length, something I’m considering, I’ll keep some of these comments in mind.

Well done. Just very well done.

Fantastic.

I can only support what others have already written. This is the best story I have read on this site, in many ways. Thanks!

Wow. Chuckled repeatedly at the lampooning of the Maple Leafs (turns the "Make Me Laughs" moniker into a double entendre?). Having watched them win the cup on live TV in '67, it made for such an extra poignant addition to the story for me personally as a way of emphasizing the notion of time changing and not changing all at the same time. Also wonder if a bar on Queen West would survive the ravages of time and the ebb and flow of neighbourhood gentrification, shifting tastes etc but it makes a great anchor point. In addition to all the time references in previous comments, I also felt a hint of similarity with the 1982 flick "Time Rider" in the paternity across time, passing items through time and death of the bad guy elements - but just a hint. Time certainly makes an inspiring topic area. All of those time things aside, I'd like to thank you for a wonderful story. I found this a well-written, enjoyable, imagination-provoking and all-around fun read with interesting characters living across interesting times. Thanks, eh.

Ah, the Black Bull. Someone finally noticed. The bar is real and was specifically picked as a setting as it’s been around since 1833. It’s the second oldest bar in Toronto. I figured if it’s lasted that long, it could probably last another few decades.

Interestingly, after I finished writing the story I found out it’s for sale. However, as it’s a heritage building there are limits to what can be done to it (ie. no tearing it down and putting condos there).

The fun part of writing these things is the weird research holes you find yourself diving into.

This story was so good it deserves 6 or 8 stars. Not only was it entertaining, but you got all the overlapping sequences correct and technologies factual as to the slingshot date, 1970, 1990, 2007, 2017. Many people think time travel is impossible, but Albert Einstein postulated that time is a continuum like a river, and we are passengers on a boat on the river. We can only see and experience the little bit of the stream where we are presently. We can't see up around the next bend or back around the last curve. But if we could get out of our present-time boat and onto the shore, we could walk forward or backwards along the banks of Father Time.

Wow. This was truly excellent. Thank you. All the stars and I hope you win.

Now since I can’t help but be a pedantic a**, page 1, paragraph 4. “Her voice did not even waiver” should be waver.

Sorry. Thanks for the story. It’s awesome