Slow Burn

Slow Burn

By YodaandLumiere

"Is that everything? It's over?"

"Yes, Grant, you're officially divorced. Think of it as a new beginning. You're still young. I'm sure you'll find the right girl for you." The lawyer looked down his nose at me, so superior and condescending. And so fucking wrong.

"Thank you. I'll be going now." I couldn't get up and get out of there fast enough. The end of a nightmare era was finally here.

I'm Grant Hayes. At twenty two, I was a divorced man and living in an uncomfortable closet. I'm gay and my closet was a living hell.

I grew up in this tiny central Indiana town. It's a place for the super conservative, low-income and the proud to be trailer trash slice of America. The cross section of ignorant and toothless is devastating.

I knew I was gay when I was five or six. I learned to hide it immediately. My father called me a sissy and slapped me hard enough to bust my lip. After that, I straightened up and flew right, as my mom said I should.

I quickly realized that being into other boys was something I should keep secret and ignore. I was the only homo in this whole place as far as I could tell so it wasn't like I was ever going to find someone to date.

In high school I dated very nerdy girls. Me and my girlfriend, whoever it may have been at the moment, would stick together and stay under the radar as much as possible.

The last of those geeky beards was my senior year love, whom I married at twenty. Her name was Alicia and she was a very nice girl. We went to our senior prom together and we were serious by the end of that summer.

I got a job and we got an apartment. At twenty, we were married and she was already talking about a baby. Every time we were together, I wished she was a man. It couldn't last. Two years later, both of us broken and broke, we divorced.

I moved in with my cousin Sandy and her husband Guy while I got back on my feet. As it turned out, they needed me as much as I needed them. They had a handicapped baby and an extra adult in the house was necessary. I didn't mind helping my family and I loved feeling needed.

A few months after the divorce, I started taking trips to Indianapolis or Cincinnati to visit a gay bar or two. I had a few anonymous hookups.

Those interactions with men confirmed what I already knew. I was into guys and guys only. It also confirmed that I wanted a real life, with a house and a cat and a husband.

I couldn't have that where I lived and I couldn't move away. I only worked part time so I'd be available to help with Sandy's baby and they didn't charge me rent. My bank account was dismal, to say the least.

Every few months I'd have enough money to take an overnight trip to one of the big cities and get laid. Or try to get laid. Many of those trips were unsuccessful. I would get in my head and ruin it or the dude was a creep and I got the fuck out of there.

Life dragged on like this for years. Sandy's child, my second cousin, whom I thought of as a niece, was almost five. She'd beaten the odds and was further along than anyone expected.

One evening at the dinner table, my cousin handed me some mail. I set it aside and continued to eat and chat with my family. Finally, Guy noticed the matching envelopes in our two piles of mail.

"What's this? It's from some lawyer in Virginia. You both got one." We all stopped eating and my cousin and I opened our letters.

"Oh no! My Great Aunt Kathy died!" Sandy kept reading while I pictured my second cousin Kathy. I hadn't seen her since I was pretty little, like ten or eleven.

She came and visited once and we went to see her in Virginia Beach on the only family vacation we ever took in my whole life. I remember the beach and her big white house. I loved her house.

I remember sitting and talking with her and she'd tell me all about her antiques and prized possessions. I was rapt.

I always felt like I could be myself, guard down, around Kathy. In hindsight, she probably knew I was gay and she loved me more because of it.

Through my tears, I read the letter from the lawyer. She wanted to meet with me so we could discuss my inheritance. My cousin's letter basically said the same thing.

A few days later, the lawyer came to Indiana and set up meetings with each of us, individually. I guess that's how Kathy wanted it done. At least that's what the lawyer eluded to.

My cousin and her husband went into their meeting first. I watched my niece while they were behind closed doors. It was less than a half hour when they came back. Sandy was crying and Guy had his arm around her shoulder, holding her close.

"What happened?" I was so worried.

"She left us some money. Enough money to get her into a good school. Enough for us to move to Bloomington and get her the help she needs."

I now understood her tears. She was relieved and happy for an opportunity to help her child. I was so happy for them, I nearly missed it when the lawyer called me in next.

My visit wasn't much longer than my cousin's. But my own tears poured down my cheeks much as hers had a short time ago. I, too, was given a chance at a new life thanks to Kathy.

While my cousin was given a life changing inheritance in the form of money, I was given something even more incredible. I was given a life, a job and a reason to go on as I damn well pleased.

I inherited my second cousin's house, which had been run as a bed and breakfast for over fifty years. The Hayes-Ward House was a southern coastal Victorian built in 1856. It had five guest rooms and a premium location in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

I googled it and found out that the area was very gay friendly. I couldn't wait to see what my new life would be like. I would be alone but I would be able to be me for the first time in my life.

I would be Grant Hayes, gay, 27 year old owner of an established bed and breakfast. I had been given the house I loved and all the antiques and stories it was filled with. And I was given the business that had allowed Kathy to lead a happy and successful life. She gave that life to me. I knew I was the favorite!

My cousin bought a tiny house in between Bloomington and Indianapolis. They got my niece into an amazing medical program and a special school. They were sad I was leaving, but they wished me nothing other than happiness and success of my own.

"We couldn't have gotten this far without you, Grant. You'll always have a home with us, no matter where we go." Sandy hugged me as we said our goodbyes.

"I love you guys. Please come and visit whenever you want. It will still be family first at the Hayes-Ward House."

With the goodbyes behind us, I took my crappy car, packed to the brink with everything I owned, and headed for the coast. The only things tying me to Indiana were in several small boxes. I didn't really know what to expect in Virginia, but I was ready to find out.

The house was bigger than I remembered. The covered porches that created ornate walkways around both floors of the building as well as every other surface you could see, were painted white.

It was dingy and the paint had been reapplied over the years without the old paint being stripped. Everything was covered in a thick, detail obscuring layer made of many, many coats of paint.

The roof had several leaks and the carpets were bare. It was still glorious, just aged and worn. Kathy hadn't been in great health the last few years she ran it and the business had been closed for more than a year when she finally passed.

I could see the shining jewel of a house under the age and grime. I knew it was going to be a ton of work, but I was so looking forward to working on something that was all mine. My home. My business. My new life.

Over the next few days I explored the area while scheduling roofers and a landscaper. I noticed gay pride flags all along the street in a funky little business district. The local pride event had happened several months before, so I wasn't sure what was with all the rainbows.

I quickly learned that many local businesses in this part of town were gay owned and were all openly gay friendly. It made my head spin in the best way. I could finally be myself, whoever that actually was.

Back in Indiana, I was closeted, employed part time and dedicated to my family. Now I was out and free and alone. It was scary but exciting.

Before I moved in with my cousin, I'd been very thin and lanky. My arms were boney and my legs were best described as gangly. With Sandy's excellent cooking and the physical demands of caring for a disabled child, I'd gained weight and buffed up a bit.

I no longer looked like a boy. Somewhere in there, I'd become a man. I stood two inches over six feet. I had a thin but defined chest, strong looking arms and patchy chest hair that connected to my treasure trail.

My hair was medium brown, full and thick and a little wavy. My eyes were the pale green of an old glass bottle. I still didn't have much facial hair, but what I did have, grew in as a thin mustache and Van Dyke like goatee. I kept it shaved most of the time.

On one of my first trips into town, I came across a barber shop that was gay owned and run. I figured a nice gay haircut was as good a place as any to start my new life.

"Hey, come sit down." The gorgeous barber smiled as he indicated his chair.

"Thanks." I sat and felt sheepish. This guy looked like a perfect gay hipster with the incredible sculpted beard and handlebar mustache. His big arms bulged and we're covered in tattoos. He made me nervous with his smile alone.

"I'm Jack, what are you looking for today?" His eyes met mine in the mirror as he ran his fingers through my thick hair. I prayed I wouldn't get a boner. Holy fuck, this was already so intense for me.

I introduced myself. "I just moved here. I'm from a small, conservative town in the Midwest. I'd like something new......" I trailed off, suddenly fearful.

"Were you out back home?" He smiled knowingly as he fastened the cape and tucked cotton around the neckline.

"Nnnn....no." I hated that I stumbled on my response.

Jack's eyes softened as he spoke again. "Do you want something a little more edgy, something you couldn't have had back home?" He seemed to just understand.

"Yeah. I'm opening my own business in town and I want a fresh start."

He assured me he knew exactly what to do and then he washed my hair. I seriously had to fight to not get hard. I'd never been touched like this by a man this hot. It was stupid how turned on I felt.

Jack combed and parted my hair before starting to cut my damp locks. He asked me about the B&B and made casual conversation, helping soothe my nerves. At least until he asked the next question.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" It was merely conversion but it made me feel sick to my stomach.

"No. I'm single." I closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else.

"You should come out with us tonight. My partner and I are going for drinks at The Red Corner. It's always fun."

"The Red Corner?" I was so relieved he wasn't hitting on me. I mean, kind of.

"It's a local pub, mostly gay, great drink specials and lots of lookers."

"Oh, I don't know." I was ready to make excuses but he didn't let me.

"C'mon, you are going to look so handsome when I'm done with you. Why waste a new cut sitting home alone in a big, dusty B&B?"

"I...."

"Honey! Come in here." He yelled through the curtain leading to the back of the shop."

A big, burly biker looking guy came out and smiled lovingly at Jack. "What's up, babe?"

"This is Grant Hayes. He's new in town, just inherited Kathy's place. I'm giving him his first gay haircut and I invited him to the Corner with us tonight. He should come, right?"

"Absolutely. Kathy would be up in arms if we didn't treat her heir to the best we have to offer. And your hair is looking great. My love is the best in the biz." He kissed Jack on the neck as he continued to buzz around me.

"See? Don't make Ace and I disappoint Miss Kathy. A few drinks and some new friends is exactly what you need."

Seeing no way out and actually wanting to go after all of that, I finally agreed. We met back at the shop right before closing. Jack didn't approve of my outfit and I was dragged upstairs to their apartment above the barber shop.

I was wearing jean shorts and a navy blue polo. I didn't understand what was wrong with it. Jack called someone named Jesse and explained my situation.

"Yes, Jesse, he's adorable but clueless about fashion. I gave him a sleek, edgy new cut and the poor thing showed up in jorts. We need you!" He smiled at me while he listened to Jesse on the other end of the line.

He informed me that Jesse, my savior, would be here shortly and we'd fix my issues. I still didn't see the problem, but I wasn't really one to argue, especially with nice people that wanted to help me.

Jesse did arrive, in a flourish of bags and scarves. Luckily the scarves were his thing and he didn't try to make me look like him. I was 100% less flamboyant than Jesse, so I couldn't pull that dramatic look off, even if I'd tried.

"Here, take off those........ things and try these." Jesse cringed at my jean shorts, which I was starting to understand were fashionably offensive for any self respecting human, let alone a gay.

He handed me tight khaki shorts and flowy white linen pants. Neither looked like something I'd wear. Back home I'd have been the laughing stock in either garment.

I was assured that either option was acceptable for my age, my sexual preference and my proximity to the ocean. I tried on the pants and they looked ridiculous. You could see my boxers and I felt stupid.

I tried on the shorts and I could barely get them on, they were so tight.

"How's it going in there?" Jesse called through the bathroom door.

"The pants are a no and the shorts are too tight."

"Let me see." He barged in as I had the khaki shorts barely over my hips. "Those boxers are your problem. Take them off." He put his hand on his hip as he ordered me to go commando.

"I can't do that!"

"Why not? You're gorgeous. You might as well display your package. And besides, you can't have pantylines, my lovely." He smiled and I instantly knew he would get his way. I gave up and took off my bulky cotton boxers once he left the room.

I put the shorts back on and they were still tight, but I could zip and button them now. I couldn't imagine being this trussed up all night, but I didn't seem to have a choice.

Jesse and Jack joined me in the bathroom and stood behind me in the mirror as they checked me out in the tiny shorts.

"You need to adjust. You look like you're smuggling oranges instead of sausage. I'll help if you want." Jesse was ready to reach for my bulge but I flinched, hard, pulling away.

"I'm kidding. Okay, not really. You do need to fix your junk and I will help if you want. I won't touch without permission though. Trust me, I'd have already mauled you if I wasn't all about consent, honey!"

"Okay, give me a second and I'll fix it. I'll be right out." I ushered them both through the door.

"Lose the shirt. It's not the Best Buy up in here!" Jesse bellowed as I closed the door on him.

I undid the shorts and arranged myself until I looked like the guys I'd stared at online for all these years. I got my balls sorted and then pushed my penis down into the left leg of the shorts. It looked hot. I felt hot. At least from the waist down.

Back in the living room, Jesse handed me several shirts. I pulled the retail manager style polo off and pulled the first shirt over my head. When I looked up at Jack and Jesse, they both had their mouths hanging open.

"What?" I felt super self conscious.

"Those abs! Boy, why didn't you warn me? You could give a girl a heart attack!" Jesse clutched his scarves and feigned a swoon into Jack's big arms.

"Sorry." I knew he was exaggerating but it still made me nervous.

"Take that one off. Try this. Now that I know there's something to highlight under there, I want you in something tighter." He held out a tiny tee as I pulled the first shirt back off.

He gasped again as I uncovered my chest and flat stomach. I'd never met someone so dramatic. I'd seen characters like him in gay shows and movies, but he was the first queeny gay man I'd met.

I pulled on the second offered shirt and yanked it down over my torso. It was so tight, it felt constricting.

"Holy fuck! Jack, this guy is hot! Look at him. Perfect hair, pretty eyes, tight, lean body, big dick. I'm in love!" Jesse continued to talk about me like I wasn't there.

Jesse finally left after promising to meet us at the pub later. He stopped and dramatically paused in the doorway. "Don't fall in love with anyone until I get there and have my fair chance." And then he was gone.

"Sorry about Jesse, he's a bit much sometimes. But seriously, you do look incredible. He can dress a man, that's for sure."

"He was flirting so much. Is that real or was he just joking?" I felt confused. Jack saw it and sat down on the couch, inviting me to join him.

"He's that over the top all the time, but he was extra flirty with you. I'm sure he thinks you're as hot as he says and I'm sure he'd suck your dick if you wanted him to. But he's not really dating material."

Jack looked over at me and realized how out of my element I was. I must have looked shell shocked because he reached over and touched my hand.

"It's okay, I know we're a lot. But don't worry, no one is going to do anything you don't want and we can chill out if you need us to. You seem like this is all new to you."

"It is. I have never had a gay friend or dated anyone and anything like that. I went to gay bars occasionally, but I always felt like I was acting my way through it. When I was acting gay, I was pretending to be someone else. I've never been out and gay, at all."

"Wow, okay. I'm sorry. I had no idea you were so sheltered and inexperienced. I'll tell Jesse to cool it and Ace and I will look out for you. If you're ever feeling weird or anything, let me know."

"Okay. I'm trying to not be so backwards." I shook my head and stared down at my lap.

"You're fine, love. We'll take care of you. We haven't had a brand new gay in the group since I was a teenager. This will be fun, I promise." He was so nice.

Ace and Jesse were just as surprised as Jack was when they found out how closeted I'd been up until then. Ace immediately got protective and a little ridiculous.

Even I knew the gay scene here was pretty tame. It wasn't all gangs and monsters like his demeanor would have led you to believe. It was nice that he wanted to protect me, but in reality there was nothing to protect me from.

After Jack and Ace went to dance, Jesse moved up beside me and smiled in a way I'm sure he thought made him look innocent. He didn't. But I was on to him, so it was fine.

"So, Grant, I'm glad you're able to be out and free now. I can't imagine living like that. I've always been out, in case it wasn't obvious." He posed with his hand on his hip again. It was his go-to move, I could tell already.

"I'm excited for my new life." I agreed politely and took a sip of my drink. "Thanks again for lending me the outfit. I don't look like the old me at all. Between the clothes and the haircut, I feel like a different person."

"I didn't see you before the new do, but honey, you were born to wear these clothes. You are seriously hot. You could have any guy in this place." He looked around the room.

"No. I couldn't, but thanks for saying that." I genuinely smiled at him. He was trying so hard to make me feel good. It was nice.

"I'm totally serious, Mary! At least half the guys in here have already checked you out and the other half are either stupid or sneaky. Have you ever........... you know.....?"