Slowly Moving On Ch. 01-02

"What?" I asked. I must have heard him wrong.

"I want you to fuck my wife."

A million things went floating through my head, most notably, the thought of railing his wife Justine. Why the hell would anyone want to give away his wife like that? This is the last thing I needed to hear from Grant. I have my own issues, besides who fucks his best friend's wife? He's got to be joking?

"Justine's seen all you've been through and she thought this might be the best way to get you out of this funk. Christ Matt, we've been friends for a long time and it kills me to see you like this. The counseling is sure as hell not working, and it's obvious there has always been... some... tension... between you two for a long time. I see how you two look at each other."

"Oh, give me a break. She's your wife and yes, she's hot. I remember you sharing plenty of looks with Jenn. So what, this is a pity fuck now?" I retorted.

"Boo, hoo. Matt lost his wife and is having trouble getting his shit together, let's throw him a bone, or better yet have him throw in his bone in my wife. I don't think so, Grant." I was mad.

I could feel the heat in my face as I continued. "I'm not a charity case, I've been mourning my fucking wife. Besides, what's in it for you? If I fucked her, you'd have to think about that for the rest of your life. It would ruin your marriage for Christ's sake! Who's freaking idea is this? Yours? Hers?" I was more than curious about that last piece.

"Whoa, buddy..." He was obviously taken aback by my tone. This was obviously not going the way Grant had planned it.

"We are just trying to help! We've seen what you've gone through, man. You haven't been able to pull yourself out of this for over a year now and you're just going through the motions. You put up a good front to everyone else but I see it. Justine certainly sees it. You're just not there anymore. You think Jenn would have wanted to see you like this?"

Fuck, they had seen through me. I thought I was better than that. They knew me better than I thought. Grant was right. I'd just been going through the motions. My friends and family have their own lives to live. I didn't need people feeling bad for me. They shouldn't have to worry about my life all of the time.

Pity was not my thing. Self-loathing on my own maybe, but I didn't need people to feel sorry for me, let alone offer me their wives. This had to be coming from somewhere, but I couldn't do this right now with Grant.

"I gotta go Grant. My therapy session is in a half-hour. I don't know what the fuck is going on with you or Justine, but I don't need your pity, or a pity fuck." I reached out to shake his hand and he responded in kind.

"Look, I appreciate the sentiment, I do. You guys have always been there for me, but this is a bit extreme don't you think? Let's not make dinner tonight more awkward than it's already going to be. I'll see you guys around 7:00."

I pulled him in for an awkward bro-hug and led him out the garage door as I got into the car and pulled away. My god, was the weekly meal with Grant and Justine going to be weird tonight? The Friday night meal was something we'd done for years and we just kept doing after Jenn had died. It was really the only thing that kept me going after those first few months.

It was then on to the next worry, as this is the last thing I needed before my session with Dr. Amanda Atkins. My big mouth got me into this particular mess. My primary care doctor was asking me all kinds of questions, just two weeks after Jenn's accident. He just kept pushing and I just burst out without thinking that I felt like ending it all, if he didn't stop asking questions.

Dr. Cole misinterpreted the hint as a cry for help and told me it was weekly sessions with a psychologist or an inpatient psych evaluation. That got me these sessions with Dr. Atkins, and today was the second to last mandated one. It's not like I tell her anything anyway. I just tell her what she wants to hear "everything is awesome" and she eats it up and tells me I'm progressing. What bullshit...

Dr. Atkins' office was different than what I expected a psychiatrist's office to be. No couch, or lounger. Just four comfy brownish modern living room furniture chairs in a semi-circle with an impressive dark wood modern office desk to the side. She always sat down in the chair opposite me and always waited for me to say something first, which of course, drove me insane. There were sessions early on when I would wait it out, but I could only make ten or fifteen minutes in the silence.

There was something about her that made the silence uncomfortable. She was actually quite naturally pretty, but she always wore unflattering business suits or other such bagginess to hide herself, and never any make-up on her fair creamy pale skin. Her strawberry blonde hair was usually up in a simple ponytail. She was a natural beauty, but it was like she was trying to hide herself from everyone. That's something I could relate to.

Just looking at her through that silence sort of irked me after a while. What was she afraid of? I stopped playing the game after a month and I just broke down and started the bullshit.

Today was different for some reason. She started off things off for the first time since our very first session.

"Next week is the last mandatory session, but you are more than welcome to keep coming after that." She paused for effect after seeing I had been taken by surprise with her leading off.

"Why don't you tell me, where you are going from here? Where is life taking Matt Garner in the next six months?"

Ugh. I gave her the crap about looking forward to work, plans with friends, and maybe looking for a date. I laid it on. This was nothing new, just give her what she wants and get through this, I thought. Shockingly, this time, her reply came out of nowhere.

"We've been doing this for almost a year now Matt. I don't believe you are a danger to yourself. I never did. What I do believe is that you have not moved on. You say all the right things all of the time in here, but I would bet my whole practice that you have not moved on from anything at all." She was saying this so cold and clinically. This was completely different than anything in the past year.

She was looking out the window saying all of this, then her eyes met mine as she continued, "Jenn's dead. Moving on is not being unfaithful to her memory. This is going to eventually eat you up inside and then you really will be a danger to yourself. You've got to be real with someone at some point, Matt."

What the hell was going on today? First Grant and now Dr. Atkins. Was I really not fooling anyone? Who the hell was this lady to tell me what I'm supposed to feel? It was at that point that I thought she deserved a dose of realism.

"You want real?" I snorted. "I loved my wife. She was everything. She was my life. She's gone and I've got to live with that. I don't need you or anyone else feeling bad or sorry for me. Shitty things happen in life, you deal with them in your own way and you get by." Shit was just coming out faster than I could think it through.

"What makes you so averse to getting help, Matt?" she said in a very monotone way.

"Help? Today, everyone has been trying to help me. My best friend, Grant, you know, who's been my 'rock' this whole time," I alluded to the bullshit I'd been spinning her all year, "came by today and asked me to fuck my other rock, Justine, his wife, because they are feeling bad for me. Well, guess what? I'm tired of all the bullshit. You want the reality?"

She slowly nodded and calmly said, "I would like that very much."

"We had a couple of exhibitionist moments a few years back, but she was Jenn's best friend AND she's married to my best friend. Where's that marriage going if they're asking for me to step in huh?" I figured I might as well get it all out there and hell, what does it really matter at this point. I only had one more visit left and I'd never see her again.

"Are you considering taking their help?" she asked matter of factly.

"You know what? What the hell maybe, right? I can't say I didn't get excited by the thought. So yeah, I'm considering fucking her brains out, making him watch and showing them both that they are fucking up a perfectly good thing!" I wasn't thinking at all now, and I certainly didn't mean it. I was trying to get a reaction out of her.

"That is probably not the help you should take Matt. I think you see that?" she added in a very businesslike way. Looking at her, I could see that her body was giving her away as she had started to blush with this particular topic.

Now, I was starting to really feel pushed. I was more real with her in the last two minutes than in the last year, and she was just so cold about it. I had to knock her off her game to get some breathing room.

"What about you, Amanda? You come in here like Dr. Frumpy all of the time. Isolating yourself from your patients. I get it, but I'd bet you your practice it goes farther than that! What are you hiding from? How about you get real with some fucking insight of your own? I throw something juicy out there and you get all hot and bothered? Your body gave you away. Look you're getting red from the neck up. Not very fucking professional is it Dr. Atkins?"

Her blushing got worse and I watched her swallow hard. You could see the wheels turning, but nothing came out of her. I kept pushing. "I think we're about out of time today Amanda. See you next week." With that, I rose from the chair and headed to the door. To my utter surprise, she jumped up and stood in the way.

"Look, Matt, you cannot act on this! If you act on Grant and Justine's request, you jeopardize their friendship and their marriage. It puts you at severe emotional risk as well." I opened my mouth to say something and she stopped me.

"Here is the on-call number." She was saying quickly as she pulled a card from her baggy pantsuit pocket handing it to me.

"I want you to call me if anything further develops. This isn't something to navigate on your own. You have been more honest today than at all the other sessions combined. That is the first step. Having sex with a married friend would be a giant step backward, and I think you know that. I will help you get through this, but you have got to call me if you feel the need to act on this. Just promise me you will call if something happens before next Friday's session?"

I was a little surprised and confused. The clinical Dr. Atkins was gone and she was displaying some true compassion for me. I felt like she actually cared and I gave in.

"Sure," I said unconvincingly.

"No, Matt, this is not something you can fluff your way through. I mean it, you call if you need the help." Her tone had just slightly increased this time. She reached out and grabbed both of my arms.

"Yes, Amanda, sure."

With that, she let go and stepped aside and I walked out to the car and drove home.

It was the middle of the afternoon and I was emotionally exhausted. I laid down on the bed to rest thinking through the events of the day and the memories of Jenn came flooding back as I fell asleep...

*****

I had started it just as the Uber left the bar. She was leaning on me with her arm around my back and her head in the crook of my neck. Her hand was in my lap and I couldn't tell if she was trying to rub me or if it was just the movement of the car. I was about to find out. My hand was on her knee and I slowly crept it up the inside of her thigh under her dress. The smooth sensation of the stocking on my hand and the prospect of doing this with the driver two feet in front of me was getting me worked up. She didn't make any attempt to stop me.

Emboldened by her lack of resistance, my hand kept slowly creeping upwards. I reached the top of her stocking and felt her smooth skin just above. She suddenly adjusted herself, inching her bottom down and thus putting my hand in direct contact with her cotton panties. It was at that point that I knew she wanted it, but I resolved to make her work for it now.

I began to tease her. I ran one finger over the very edge of her panty tracing the outline against her thigh. I slipped that finger under the edge and again traced the outline. She subtly shifted herself towards me in an attempt to get my fingers closer. I lazily traced my finger on the outside of the panties, avoiding the most sensitive of spots. She craned her neck and looked up into my eyes. I slyly winked and mouthed, "bad girl."

With that, I slowly brought my finger over her panty clad mound. She was on fire and her panties were soaked. I rubbed the wet spot at first with a light touch and then increased the pressure as I continued. She was now thrusting her hips ever so slightly with each pass up and down. It was at that point I quickly dove my fingers under the panties and onto her bare, soaked lips. My fingers were sopping wet and she let out the slightest of sighs.

I looked up to see we were just minutes from home and decided to see how far she'd let me take this. I dove my index finger deep inside her pussy and she let out a very audible gasp. My eyes looked up again and I saw the driver's eyes staring back at us in the rear-view mirror. I smiled as his eyes turned back to the road. As we pulled onto our street I quickly extracted my hand and brought them to her mouth. She eagerly sucked her juices off my fingers. Her hand now wrapped around mine as she seductively pulled them out of her mouth then dove forward with a full-on kiss with her tongue dancing against mine. The car pulled over, we got out, and I paid the driver with a generous cash tip.

He smiled. "That's two tips for me tonight. You two enjoy yourselves now," he said with a smile, rolled up the window, and sped off.

We got just inside the door and I swiftly twisted and pinned her chest first against the hallway wall. I took hold of her arms in a gentle but firm manner, pulling them above her head while pushing my body into the back of hers. She suggestively wiggled her butt into me. She was firing on all cylinders like I had not seen her do in some time. I moved my head to a point where my mouth was next to her ear as I pushed her arms further over her head onto the wall.

"You've been a bit of a little hussy tonight, suggestively rubbing me and letting me do very naughty things to you in front of another man. You are in a lot of trouble, Mrs. Nettle." I always called her by her maiden name even though we'd been married for years.

"You are going to do what I say tonight, do you understand?"

She purred a long drawn out and snakelike, "Yesssss," as she was grinding her ass into my crotch.

"If you want to act so naughty, I'm going to do naughty things to you. Do you understand?" I was starting to wonder how far I could take this.

She turned her head to the side and looked at me with a shy innocent girlish grin. "Oh, I'm not a bad girl, please oh please don't make me to these bad things. I'd just hate that," she said in a mocking tone and a sly smirk.

"Oh, you want to play this game, do you? Alright, we'll see how far you want to take this." With that, I rapidly pulled her dress up, over her head and off. I grabbed her hand and led her to the nearby kitchen island. I quickly removed her bra on the way there and lightly pushed her face down on the cold granite kitchen island countertop. I could see the outline of her b-cup breasts being pushed out from under her on the counter.

"Stay right there and don't move," I said forcefully. I moved into the nearby den, grabbed the Nikon camera, and was back behind her in less than thirty seconds.

I bent over, pushing my extremely hard erection straining against my pants into her and whispered to her, "This is something that I want to remember forever."

I stepped back and started snapping pictures. My god, she was so beautiful and so vulnerable lying there. It was quite the sight, white cotton panties with little black polka dots and black thigh high stockings and nothing else, bent over like she was on the menu just for me. Her dark brown hair was splayed out on the light grey countertop.

The coolness of the granite had given her the slightest of goosebumps on her tan skin and the contrasting tan lines on her back heightened the effect on me. At 5' 4", she had to just slightly get onto her tiptoes, which accentuated her muscular legs trapped in those black stockings. Her regular gym attendance surely showed and she was just as beautiful now as the day I had met her. God, I loved this woman!

The shutter clicks startled her out of her lustful trance. She stood up and took a step back into the doorway from the hall.

"Promise me!" Jenn said with a giggle. "Promise me you won't show anyone these!" she continued with a little more seriousness. I pressed the button and heard the shutter of the camera click once again.

"Oh, I promise. I'll keep them safe along with all those other naughty photos I had of you!" I did some photography on the side. She had wanted to get some boudoir photos done prior to our wedding but was secretly embarrassed to go, but blamed it on the money. She talked me into taking some instead, and it had occasionally evolved from there.

I thought on this some more, "I promise, IF, you are a good girl and do what I say," giving her the mischievous smirk with that.

She had the biggest shit-eating grin on her as she put her hands on her hips somewhat defiantly. "What if I don't want to be good, Matthew?"

That was the full name. She almost never pulled that out. She took her hand, reached between her legs and under the front of her panties.

"Oh no you don't. You don't get to do that yet!"

SMACK!

I playfully smacked her ass. She feigned that it hurt and reluctantly pulled her hand back up.

"Rub your tits. Play with them, squeeze them hard, tease them!" I barked.

She was a little reluctant at first but once she started she was going at her pretty little chest with both hands and closing her eyes. I forgot I still had the camera in my hand! I pulled the lens up and starting snapping pics again.

"Slowly work your way down your body. Keep those hands outside of those panties!"

That provoked a pouty look back at me. She was visibly aroused, with her panties revealing an obvious wet spot from my earlier attention there. She rubbed her hands all over herself but eventually focused on that very sensitive spot.

"Why can't you do this for me?" she asked.

"Because I'm having fun watching you drive yourself crazy." I clicked the shutter several more times.

"You know you're in trouble right? I'm going to get you back," she said with a wicked smile.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it my dear." At this point I freed my throbbing cock from its prison, taking off my jeans and leaving myself with my tented boxers and half-buttoned, collared shirt.

"That's what I'm talking about," she called to me. "Do I get to take some pics too?"

I shook my head with a grin and walked over to her. With a swift motion, I swept her off of her feet and turned to place her bottom on the granite counter again. She scooted her bottom back farther onto the counter and bent her knees to bring her stocking clad feet up to rest on the counter's edge. She shot me the hungriest look I think I had ever remembered seeing from her.

"Lay back and continue where you left off, but remember, those hands stay on top of those," as I pointed to the rapidly growing wet spot on her panties.

I watched as a wave of goosebumps swept over her body. I couldn't tell if it was from the cool granite below her or from her intense arousal. She very quickly starting to rub her panty clad vagina, intently now. Her eyes were closed and she was rolling her head back and forth on the cold counter letting out the softest of moans. As I continued to take pictures of this lurid scene my heart beat faster.