All Comments on 'Smoothie Mix-Up'

Good start. Now for part 2: she ends up pregnant and carries the child to term.

What a load of shit

This really belongs in nonconsentual. There are quite a few of us who would prefer to avoid rape fantasies.

Lol...her son has his face pressed in her ass and she’s concerned about swearing!

Hot story. The present tense narrative always throws me but I didn’t hold that against you.

Viagra doesn't make you violent. Could have gone a different way with this.

She better get ready for the ass fucking of her life .....2 extra strenth Viagara's ! Her son is just getting started ......more please :

Your story contained a number if typos causing this reader to pause reading and re-reread certain passages. It was as if the author was in too much of a hurry to proof-read before submitting. As to the story content, it was as rushed as the author's effort.

A sequel is not needed or desired.

Just NO! Son raping mother doesn't work for me at ANY level. If I could give it 0*, I would...

This was absolutely bullshit. Extra strength Viagra? Please.

I honestly found it a little too much, I can handle a lot of things but forced is not one of them and is basically a rape fantasy. I am not shooting it down nor do i want to discourage you. It just needs to be in the correct category or you have a disclaimer stating the various tags and general premise of the story. that will allow readers to turn away prior to upsetting them.

I am pretty sure that Viagra doesn't increase libido on its own. I accept that this is only fiction, but fiction with something that exists does impose some adherence to truth. Also "super strength" might mean a medical emergency for a young man as a dose of far more than 100 mg Sidenafil could damage the Penis.

This story could use a rewrite its hot but not believable because Viagra doesn't change behavior it just makes a guy hornier than he can handle I think this story would have been better if the mother was less shy and willingly helped her accidentally drugged son try to get rid of his errection and they somehow end up having sex.... Also this kind of story needs more build up a longer story is needed to fully work this type of thing I give you 3 stars for effort but you loose 2 for lack of imagination and proper character building.... If you like short stories then you need to keep them very generic and don't go to deeply into what the characters are feeling that is how a hot erotic short story should go very little buildup is needed.... This story is just that a story and it's to short to really go anywhere.... My advice is if your going to write stories developing your characters and telling a believable tail is important also you can't tell any good story in just one page don't rush take your time... Now if you just want a hot scene its best not to overly set up what is going on just jump into it but keep it believable and hot scenes don't need much character development just a basic idea of what's going on the story above isn't that its clear you wanted to tell a story and it falls flat because you rushed it into a one page document... You do good work but I can tell you can do better

Its a good first draft. A few pointers:

Don't say Viagra, its not at all what it does. Just write a quick scene where she recalls getting it from a friend working on some experimental libido pills, cookie science type, studious lab tech, your call.

After the son says sorry, it doesn't really seem like he was. Either have the effects wear off and make him actually act sorry other than just saying it, or leave a cliff hanger like he might come back for more.

When the son was asking what she had done, it wasn't clear if he was afraid or angry.

Good first work overall.

Interesting, but none of the side-effects of Viagra make you horny - just hard.

3/5

As others stated, Viagra doesn't make you lose control. Also, most will take half to 1 pill, 2 would keep a raging teen hard for hours, thru multiple orgasms. Hell, youth alone could do that, 2 Viagra would cause a painful erection that wouldn't go down all day. It would have been more realistic for her to tell him what she did, and end up having to help him relieve the result.

Hope to see more stories from you. Good work.

you get a 5 from me.

I really liked your story and can hardly wait for more chapters.

That was sad.

Rushed, crap dialogue, spelling errors, Viagra does this?, Not remotely believable, keep your day job

The writing can improve, the story would have benefited from more build up and the story should probably be put in the non consent category to avoid unnecessary drama. But I still enjoyed it. The idea for the story isn't bad and the people suggesting/demanding that the mother should have helped the son willingly instead of being raped, are simply arguing for their preferred fantasy and can therefore be ignored (as if a parent-child incest scenario would be realistic to beginn with...). And while viagra doesn't alter ones state of mind, who's to say that the son didn't have it within himself to rape? The raging hard-on and seeing his mothers good looking body in crotch-less lingerie as well as her shaved pussy could simply have been the catalyst that set him off.