tagHumor & SatireSnot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 05

Snot Brite and the Seven Pervs Ch. 05


Author's note. Firstly, please read chapters 1, 2, 3 and 4. I have not put in any reminders of what happened last time; there just wasn't the room. Although this story is in the humour and satire category I have also tried to keep it sexy, and have attempted to at least touch on most genres over the full series. That means if you don't like gay, lesbian, anal, transgender or any of the other categories within Literotica then there may be bits you want to skip over. Please give it a go and let me know what you think, I enjoy getting comments, even those with creative criticism. There are six chapters and they should be put up at the rate of at least one every week. Do not expect reality, it is a fairy tale.

The story is set way before condoms, so if you want a safe sex message then I suggest that if you sneak into her bedroom at her parent's place for a quickie, you first make sure she's not a 'screamer'.

Please enjoy -- BB1212


The pageboy was hiding. The guards had burst into the pageboy quarters looking for him, and apparently the Queen wanted to talk to him. Luckily he wasn't there at the time, but he knew he was in real trouble now. He hadn't wanted to suck the King's cock, but the Queen had made him do it, and when he had been alone with the blindfolded King he couldn't resist rubbing the royal ass and just poking his finger in a tiny little bit. The pageboy knew he liked to be touched there, and judging by the King's twitching cock, he did too. But now the Queen must have been mad the pageboy for trying to turn the King into a Queen. The pageboy was so confused; at pageboy school they had never taught them anything about this situation. All those years of study were now wasted, he thought. You didn't graduate as a pageboy until you were twenty, and he now had three years experience after that, but it was all wasted now, he could never be a pageboy again. He ducked into a room as he heard marching feet approaching. It was full of dresses, and in desperation the pageboy put one on.

"It won't work without help." A feminine voice said, and the pageboy jumped and turned around. A maid was standing there looking at him.


"You still look far too... manly." The maid said.

"For what?" The pageboy asked.

"To get away with wearing a dress."

"I just don't want to get caught."

"Oh, but you just have been, but let me help. Now, if you want to get away with being a girl, you have to pay much more attention to colour."

"Hang on, I..."

"No, that green dress just won't do, try this blue one on, it matches your eyes."

"I'm going now." The pageboy had had enough.

"And I'll call the guards, dressed like that they'll get you easily." The pageboy hesitated, he most likely could do with some help, and she seemed ready to give it.

"OK." He said reluctantly, and took the dress off.

"Now you can't wear your normal clothes underneath," the maid said, "it looks way too obvious, take them off too." The pageboy looked around nervously.

"In here?" He asked.

"Don't worry," she said, "I've seen naked men before." He hesitated and then shrugged, what harm could it do? The pageboy took his clothes off, but was embarrassed because his cock was now half erect. He tried to hide it with his hands, but the maid was not having any of that.

"That will give you away every time." She said. "You have to get rid of it, do you want to do it or should I?" She had a hungry look in her eye as she said it.

"I... er..." The pageboy was lost for words, he suddenly felt threatened. The maid smiled.

"I'll do it." She said, and got down on her knees in front of him.

"I don't think..." The pageboy's words trailed off as her warm mouth wrapped around his cock and sucked it down. The pageboy whimpered and moaned as the maid sucked his cock with great skill. A few minutes later he felt the cum rising from his balls. "I'm gonna cum..." He said and the maid just sucked him harder, and then it happened, she swallowed the cum down as he squirted it, never missing a drop, and then she just knelt there smiling as he trembled in front of her.

"Kneel down before you fall down." The maid said, smiling. The pageboy fell to his knees in front of her, still shaking from the intense orgasm. She was smiling triumphantly, like the cat that got the cream. Well she had in a way.

"That was fantastic." The pageboy said.

"Yeah." She agreed, "it got me going too, do you want to help out?" He nodded, and she stood up in front of him and lifted her dress. The suddenly confused pageboy was looking at a hard cock.

"What the..."

"Who better to help you dress like a girl?" The maid said. "Now suck it." She pushed her cock into his mouth before he could argue. "I don't want to feel your teeth," the maid said firmly, "and use your tongue underneath, at the base of the head, yeah that's it." The pageboy learned quickly with the maid instructing him, and eventually his hand found her balls. He wondered if he should think of them as his balls, but he had pictured the maid as girl first, and it was difficult to think of her as boy, even with the evidence filling his mouth. The maid groaned in ecstasy as his hand worked back to her ass and rubbed.

"Poke a finger in." She moaned, and the pageboy did. Suddenly warm liquid filled his mouth and he could feel her ass clenching around his finger. The pageboy wanted to spit the cum out but she held his head firmly. "Swallow." She commanded, and eventually he had to as his mouth filled. She held her cock in his mouth until it started to soften, and then she took it out. "Lick the drops off." She said, and he did. The pageboy was worried. Did this make him gay? Twice now he had sucked a cock, and once he had swallowed the cum, and he actually enjoyed it. He wasn't sure what it all meant.

"Um... what next?" He asked.

"We get you dressed and then we go." She said, looking feminine again with her cock hidden under her dress.

"Where to?"

"There's a steam bath not far away," she smiled, "there's people there who will look after us." He was worried about that, but what choice did he have? There were still marching feet passing outside regularly.

The Queen was on her back on the edge of a table, with two servants holding her legs up and apart. A man was fucking her furiously, trying hard to cum in the allotted time. They were already behind schedule and might not make the record tonight.

"I'm sorry Your Highness," Ivor said to the King, "they seem to be quite slow to cum tonight." He looked worried.

"It's difficult." The King replied. He looked at Ivor and then whispered conspiratorially. "The Queen is getting a bit loose down there, you know the time that I managed to cum in her, I thought I heard it echo." Ivor struggled to hide his smile.

"Would you like something a bit tighter for yourself Your Highness? There's this little serving maid who wants to be on the show, I could arrange an audition. She is very pretty, and a virgin too." The King smiled.

"Make it so." He said happily. "It's good to be the King." A servant approached and bowed.

"Your Majesty?" The King looked.


"Snot Brite's maid is worried, she hasn't been seen since yesterday." The King frowned. Where could the girl be? He nodded.

"Wait." He commanded and walked over to the Queen as the man fucking her pulled his cock out and added to the pools on her belly. He quickly moved aside and the next man pushed his cock into her.

"Do you know where Snot Brite is?" The King asked.

"She said something about going to basket making camp." The Queen replied, and smiled as the new man pulled out and shot his load. That was more like the speed she wanted.

"Oh, OK." The King said, and went back to the servant.

"She'll be away for a while." The King said to the servant, who was staring at the Queen being gangbanged. "Do you want a turn?" The King asked, and the servant nodded. The King beckoned one of the helpers, and the servant was added to the line of waiting men.

The wizard approached the cottage quietly. He had decided that he had waited long enough. He would pick one of the pervs and make his cock just one inch long. That should get the others to find more diamonds quickly. Each day they failed to produce he would shrink another one. He needed diamonds. As he approached the cottage he heard a beautiful female voice singing.

"One day my Prince will cum,

In my pussy and up my bum."

The wizard coughed, and the singing stopped.

"Is there someone there?" A girls voice asked, and the wizard went into the house to see a beautiful young woman sweeping the floor. "Oh, hello." She said. "Who are you?" The wizard looked at her.

"Merlin." He replied. "I'm the local wizard." He looked at her questioningly.

"I'm Snot Brite." She said happily, and then giggled. "I'm the local Princess."

"Where are the seven pervs?" Merlin asked.

"At work, they'll be back in the morning." He smiled.

"I'll wait." He looked at the shape of her body through the dress, it had been a while, but he might just have some fun tonight.

"Oh, goody." She smiled broadly. "Cuppa tea or me?" She pushed her boobies in his direction.

"We'll start with you." Merlin said, and he waved his wand. Snot Brite's clothes were suddenly neatly folded on a bench, and she was naked in front of him. She smiled.

"That's clever." She said. "Is it magic?" He grinned.

"Yes." He said, then he waved his wand again and her pubic hair disappeared.

"Oooh," she squealed, "now you can see all of my bits." She looked at Merlin. "Why are you still dressed?" Merlin liked Snot Brite already, she had the right attitude. He waved his wand again and he was suddenly naked, except for his hat and wand of course, and he was lying on the table. His very large cock was sticking straight up. Snot Brite clapped her hands in glee.

"Is that all for me?" She asked happily. Merlin nodded and waved the wand once more. Snot Brite lifted off the floor and floated up, she had to bend forward to prevent bumping her head on the roof. She giggled as she floated over to Merlin, and she lifted her legs as she slowly lowered onto his cock.

"Oh yes," she moaned as the cock went in, "screw me." Merlin smiled and waved his wand again. Slowly Snot Brite started rotating on his cock. She was smiling so he sped her up, and soon she was spinning faster while riding up and down from the tip to the base.

"This feels good." She moaned as the cock twisted and turned inside her.

"Oh yeah." Merlin agreed. Most women were screaming or even vomiting by now, but Snot Brite was enjoying it. He kept her spinning for a while, and then showed some mercy. She stopped turning and they floated off the table and turned so he was standing and she was horizontal, just supported by magic. Merlin started fucking her again, and Snot Brite moaned happily. Merlin looked at her tits. They were rotating in opposite directions. He watched for a while. "Boobies," Merlin muttered, "must obey boobies." Snot Brite orgasmed, screaming her pleasure as his cock thrust in and out of her.

"Cum in me." She cried, and he did, his cum leaving a tingling warm glow.

"Damn that was good." Merlin said. "You are so tight."

"Why do people always say that?" Snot Brite asked.

"Women get looser the more they have sex," Merlin explained.

"And men don't like that?" Snot Brite asked.


"Oh. You're a wizard, can you magic me a pussy and ass that never get loose?" Snot Brite asked.

"Goodness me," Merlin had never had that request before, and he suddenly wondered why, "I could but that spell would need two diamonds."

"Why do you need diamonds?" Snot Brite asked, and Merlin looked around furtively.

"Can you keep a secret?" He asked.

"Oh, yes." Snot Brite said eagerly.

"My wand uses diamonds for power." Merlin said, and he pulled a plug out of the end of it and showed Snot Brite the small compartment with what looked like a dark stone in it. "That's one in there." Snot Brite squealed in delight.

"I like diamonds." She said, and then she frowned. "But I don't have any now, I shouldn't go home or the Queen will kill me."

"Why?" Merlin asked, and Snot Brite pondered.

"I don't know really." She said finally. "Now I'll get all loose and then nobody will want to screw me any more." She pouted. Merlin wanted another fuck, she really was quite exceptional, but he didn't want to use two of his precious remaining diamonds on her.

"Maybe the pervs could help?" He said. "They have a diamond mine." Snot Brite looked up at him hopefully.

"Really?" She said, wondering if he was teasing her.

"Yes," Merlin replied, "that's why I came here, they need to get me more diamonds, and they haven't found many lately."

"That would be nice," Snot Brite said, "but I couldn't ask them for that, I'm already living in their house." And most likely getting fucked senseless every day, Merlin thought.

"I'll tell you what," Merlin said, "if we can fuck again..."

"I don't fuck." Snot Brite said. "I never have."

"What?" Merlin was confused.

"I think sticking my tongue up your nose would be disgusting, and my daddy said I have to wait anyway." Merlin was confused. Well really she was the one who was confused.

"So what did we just do?" He asked.

"We screwed." Snot Brite said. Merlin wondered what he should tell her, but the little head won the argument.

"My mistake," he said, "if we can screw again, and if the pervs bring me more than twenty-five diamonds in the morning when they get home, I'll use two of them on you." Merlin should have felt guilty, they had never managed more than eleven, but a fuck is a fuck, even if you are a wizard. Snot Brite brightened visibly.

"Really?" She couldn't believe her luck, a screw and a forever-tight pussy and ass too, this wizard was ever so nice. "I could just kiss you." Merlin smiled.

"I'm sure you will." He said.

"Where do you want to screw me?" Snot Brite asked.

"I've cum in your pussy already, next should be your mouth and then your ass."

"Oh goody, you can get the whole set." Snot Brite said.

The pageboy really didn't know about this. The maid had brushed his long hair until it shone, and had shaved his face very smooth. She had used some things on his face that made him look quite, er, pretty. She had put some things in his dress that looked like tits too, and looking in the mirror he thought he looked like a girl. At least it would be a good disguise from the guards. He looked at her, and decided that they were both convincing in their disguises. He wondered who she was hiding from. After some lessons in talking and walking like a girl he nervously stepped out into the corridor behind her, and followed her. He tried to remember to roll his hips as he walked, and to take smaller steps, but when a group of guards came past he was very nervous. One of them slapped his ass, and he jumped, but they kept going.

"See," the maid said, "I told you it would work." He smiled nervously, and followed behind her. Eventually the maid knocked on a door. The viewing panel slid open and eyes contemplated them for a moment. Then the panel shut again, and there was the sound of bolts being drawn, the door opened and they walked in. The door was shut and bolted again behind them. The room was big and had steaming pools of water on one side and a row of what looked like beds on the other side, with a few raised tables in between. There were a lot of naked men in the water and quite a few just lying on the beds. The pageboy couldn't see many women, just a few wandering around and seemingly waiting for something. A man wearing a loose robe hurried over to them and the maid whispered in his ear, he smiled widely and beckoned the pageboy.

"Over here," he said cheerfully, "we need to have the doctor check you out." A few other men looked at them and smiled. The pageboy was starting to get worried, but he followed along nervously. The maid had gone up to one of the other men and was talking to him. As thepage boy walked behind the man in the robe two other men fell into step beside the pageboy. The first man led them to a raised table and then nodded to the other two, they grabbed the pageboys arms and bent him forwards over the table.

"What the...?" The pageboy started to say, but a blow to his head cut him off in mid sentence.

"Quiet now lovely," a voice whispered in his ear, "the doctor needs to check you out."

"I..." Smack, another blow to the head and the pageboy was quiet. Hands behind him lifted his skirt and exposed his naked ass and balls to everyone in the room.

"Nice." A man's voice said and hands cupped his balls, but then ran up to his asshole, rubbing it gently. The pageboy moaned quietly.

"She likes it." A voice said, and the pageboy shook his head. Then lips touched his ass and started kissing it, while the hand still rubbed his asshole. The pageboy tried hard not to like it, but his body responded, making the men behind him laugh.

"She still thinks she's a boy." A voice said, and then a finger shoved inside his dry asshole. The pageboy screamed in pain and surprise.

"Ah, fuck me." He exclaimed.

"OK." A voice behind him said, and the pageboy tensed.

"I didn't mean... aaaargh."

Merlin had now cum in all of Snot Brite's holes, and he was feeling quite satisfied. The ass fuck had been great, with just the right amount of tightness and friction, and his orgasm had been very strong, even after two others. This girl was great; she made him feel like he was just a boy of one hundred and fifty again. He decided he might keep her for a while.

"Do you want something to eat?" He asked kindly, as she lay on the bench panting.

"That, uh, would be nice." She gasped. "But the pervs don't seem, uh, to have much food around." He smiled. Her naivety was refreshing.

"That's OK." He reassured her. "Look outside." Snot Brite did, even though she knew it was dark, and the wizard waved his wand. Snot Brite gasped as the clearing in front of the cottage was suddenly bathed in bright light. Two rabbits that were eating grass looked up, and then lifted up off the ground. Their skins fell off as they flew toward the cottage, and their bellies opened and their guts fell out. The bodies glowed red for a moment, and then that faded as they came through the doorway and landed on two plates that had flown out of the cupboard and landed on the table. The rabbits, now cooked and ready to eat, landed on the plates and some vegetables came through the door and landed next to them, while knives and forks came out of the drawer and the table was set for supper. Snot Brite glided down into a chair opposite Merlin. Then a drink appeared in front of each of them too.

"Wow." Snot Brite said, wide eyed, as Merlin picked up his goblet.

"Cheers." He said, and she picked up hers and drank.

"What is that?" Snot Brite asked.

"A black Russian." Merlin replied.

"It's got bubbles in it." Snot Brite said.

"Do you like it?"

"Oooh, yes." She took another drink. There might be time for another fuck after supper Merlin thought. Then the pervs would come home and he could do what he came here for.

The Queen looked up as number seventy-two pushed his way inside her. He was very big, but he still didn't have to push too hard. The record would be broken tonight; the only question now was by how many.

Elsie looked fondly down on William. He was in her and she rode his cock slowly, building up to yet another orgasm. She had lost count, but she now knew that the myth of multiple orgasms wasn't really a myth.

"Aren't you tired?" William asked, smiling lovingly.

"Oh, no." She replied. "Are you?"


"Tell me when you want to cum."

"I'm enjoying watching you for the moment." She spun around, giving him a different view, just for a change.

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