Sod's Law Pt. 06

"Don't worry, I won't be here," I assured them. "This has nothing to do with me, except indirectly, so I'll be going back home today."

I could see the relief on the faces of Helen's parents, but distress and anxiety on Helen's.

"Please, David," was all she said. "Can't you stay?"

"Look, Helen," I said. "Sorting out the aftermath of cancelling the wedding is a matter for you and Barry. It's not my business. Don't you see? Having me around puts Barry in a dreadful position. I'm the reason there's no wedding tomorrow, I'm the one who's taking you away from him, and if I stay, that becomes public. I'll be a distraction. You both need to be free of me so you can create your own celebration."

"But we've only just met again. We've been apart for so long. I just want you near. I don't want to part so soon. Can't you stay overnight at least?"

This began to annoy me, and my words came out without further thought.

"And where would I sleep?" I said sharply.

"With me of course? Like always." She looked puzzled.

"I don't think so!" I retorted. "Like always? Tell me, Monday to Wednesday, where did you sleep, more to the point, with whom?"

Silence, and she looked away.

"So, not like always then. And I'll bet it wasn't just sleeping was it?" I was conscious of becoming more aggressive, and angry. It wasn't those three nights, but the previous months when she'd given herself to someone else. "Don't you think you're being a little casual about who you're sleeping with? The night before last you were in his bed and in his arms, and now you want to sleep with me on the night before you would otherwise have married someone else? I don't think so!"

"But..." She did not know what to say, but she did look guilty.

"Listen Helen," I said severely. "You've spent the best part of this last year in a relationship with Barry, you've shared his bed, made love, been emotionally intimate with him, going as far as proclaiming your commitment to him publicly to the world by getting engaged. The day before yesterday you were intent on solemnly committing your whole life to him tomorrow, just as publicly.

"Don't you think you owe it to him, and the love he has for you, to spend some time as a single woman before jumping into bed with someone else? I didn't think you were so crass or insensitive."

"Now listen here-" Maurice began.

"Keep out of this, Maurice," I snapped. "This is between Helen and me, and it's up to Helen to accept or reject what I'm saying, not you."

"He's right Daddy," Helen agreed, as I thought she would. "I was being thoughtless, and yes, crass and insensitive to Barry. I also haven't taken on board how David feels about the fact that I've been intimate with someone else, or how quickly I began sleeping with Barry after I left David. That will take some getting used to for him. Our relationship will not be the same after this, and it's largely my fault."

She turned to me. "You're right, my love. I need to finish properly my relationship with Barry. I've a lot to thank him for, and what we had was good and needs to be celebrated properly now it's over. And you're right, if there's to be a space before I come to you again, it's better you're not here in the meantime.

"In any case, I did take on board what you said early this morning. My word! It seems an age ago. You remember? That we still have a lot of talking to do. I'm starting to realise how much I've hurt you. Getting back together isn't going to be easy."

Her parents looked stunned.

"Mummy, Daddy, don't look so surprised! Until yesterday my understanding of my world was completely different. We've both got to get used to a huge change of view, and deal with a lot of hurt. I've also got to finish this second year of training miles away from David.

"Then there's the matter of where I'll stay. I gave up my bed-sitter in Harrogate since I'd have been living with Barry in his flat from now on. I can't think how David will feel about me continuing to work with Barry, and I'm sure he won't be in favour of me living with him! Come to think of it, the same applies to how Barry will cope with having me in the same office all the time."

"You could always stay here at home," suggested Kathleen. "It's only 20 miles away, half an hour on the train, only a little more in your car."

Helen smiled at her mother, then turned to me. "I'll probably live here for the rest of my time at the firm, and I'll stay here next week - I have the next fortnight free, I took the time off for a honeymoon. Somehow I don't think we'll be going on that!" she laughed wryly, and there was pain there. I assumed it would be additional disappointment for Barry.

I stood. "I'll be going then," I said. "You have a lot to do. I'll see you next Saturday?"

"Friday night," she asserted. I nodded, wondering where she would be sleeping. Actually I knew where she thought she'd be sleeping, I would have to think about that.

She came out to the car, and obviously wanted to kiss goodbye. I was going to give her a brief kiss but she pulled me to her and the kiss lasted, not because she held me to it, but because once we began kissing I did not want to stop either. My previous reticence and reluctance suddenly became the silliest idea I'd ever had!

We parted and her smile told me that she had won that wordless argument. It was as if she was saying, 'You know we are part of each other, stop being so standoffish, we're back together and there's nothing you can do!'

"You win," I said, much to her puzzlement at first then she understood and the sun came out in her smile.

"We are both going to win," she said earnestly. "Nothing will part us again. Nothing!"

Another kiss was inevitable before I left, and by the end of it, I was sure we were together again. At that point I wondered why I'd made such a fuss. For over a year I had missed her, I had worked hard to get her to hear the truth, and I knew I would have been fooling myself if I thought that all I was doing was informing her of the truth of things. Of course I had wanted her back all along.

On the way home I was at peace once more: we would be together again. Then I remembered that she had to finish her training and at present she was in her second year with the practice in Harrogate where Barry worked!

I wondered how she would cope; at least she would be living at home with her parents. I remembered my strictures about relationships in the workplace, or the House. I had not kept to my own principles very well and not did not regret it at all! I certainly had no room to pontificate to others any more!

Harrogate of all places! Initially I thought it was not as easy to get to as London. When I reached a services, I looked it up in my road atlas and found it was only 60 miles by road, not even as far as York at 72 miles!

I felt better already, until I remembered again that she would have to work with Barry every day. There was a moment of worry that she might change her mind about us and go back to Barry, but it was only for a moment. Spontaneous thoughts do not have to be rational!

I arrived home in time for the evening meal, having rung from the services to book my place at table, so it did not surprise me when the whole household, apart from Ibrahim, was assembled, eager to hear the story. Alan had filled everyone in on what transpired at the hotel the night before, so all I had to do was to give a brief sketch of the day's developments.

I had to assure them that the shouting match we had that morning had been resolved. The group were impressed with Barry's response, and as usual Kim was quite overcome by his generous action.

I did not expect any communication from Helen over the weekend or during the week, assuming that the space between Barry and me would be absolute. The next day, Saturday, I wondered all day how the 'celebrations' were going. From time to time I felt fleeting fear that she would change her mind and go ahead with the wedding. Spontaneous emotions are permitted to be groundless!

That evening at nearly ten, I was summoned to the phone by Imogen, who was having a night in.

"It's Helen," she said, handing me the phone.

"David, darling, I had to ring."

"Why? Have you married Barry after all?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" she laughed, then quietened. "Well, at least I can put your mind at rest on that one! No, I'm still gloriously single. I wanted to tell you that your idea of a celebration went down brilliantly. I left the party early: I feel wrung out.

"Barry made a lovely speech explaining how you and me are together, and how he could not compete with a 'psychic' relationship, as he called it!

"He made me cry of course, telling me how he felt that knowing me for the past months was a real privilege. He's so lovely." She sighed, and I thought I could sympathise. Almost.

"David, I needed to tell you that I'm realising just how near I came to making the biggest mistake of my life. I'm so grateful to you for following up on the birth certificates and finding Peter, as I should have done."

"You're worth it. We need to be together. You know it was Harry of all people who woke me up to do my own research?"

I could hear her surprise, then laughter. "He might be a womaniser, but his heart's in the right place," she said. Then, "Are you all right with me coming on Friday?"

I could feel the hunger in her voice, and I have to admit, it echoed my own. I was the one who'd told her to make a gap between Barry and me, and if I were to keep to my principles a week was laughably too short. However... We had been separated by forces beyond our control for a year or more, and in fact we were not starting a new relationship after hers with Barry, but resuming what Barry should never have interrupted, not that he knew it at the time. That was my new reasoning, of which I was rather proud, and I was going to keep to it.

I hastened to reassure her. "Friday will be fine. Can't wait actually!"

"You've argued your way round your 'separation' ideal, then?" she laughed. There you have it - she knew exactly what the argument was that had been going on in my mind!

"You got me!" I acquiesced. "It'll be good to be together again."

"It will be."

"Yes, but I think we're together in one sense already."

"You know, very strangely I feel that too! Now it's bedtime. I hope I dream about you, and more to the point I hope I remember the dream when I wake up." She sighed. "Remember what you quoted to me at the end of our first date? 'Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast.' "

"Ah!" I mocked. "So romantic! So I hope I dream about your tits!"

"Aw, shut up! I love you. Good night."

"Love you too. Good night."

to be concluded