Somebody That I Used to Know

"Okay, anything else?" I asked.

"Yes. I hope that someday you'll forgive me and not think about me with hate in your heart," she said.

"So do I."

"I feel like I owe you an explanation," she said. "I want you to know that I love you and would be ecstatic if I could be your wife and spend the rest of our lives together."

"Well, I don't want to engage in histrionics, but that seems a little incompatible with your little... video and the extracurricular activity on it," I said.

She made a little sobbing sound. "Yes, I know, but it's true, nonetheless."

"What were you doing, Argent? Do you mind telling me that?"

"Yes, I do mind, but I'm going to, anyway," she said. "This is very hard for me to say. It was the combination of a lot of things. One of them was I was sleeping my way to the top, Julian. It was partially about my career, and partly about who I am, as a person."

"I guess you're going to have to explain the 'who I am as a person' thing," I said.

"Julian, you know I wasn't a virgin when we met," she said. "You never asked me about that, and I never volunteered. I didn't ask you, either."

"Okay."

"Don't get me wrong, here. I have never experienced anything so fulfilling as making love with you. It's still the best sex I've ever had."

"Comforting, that," I said.

"Stop being so sarcastic. I'm telling you the truth. I never told you, because I didn't think it mattered, but I love sex, Julian. It is just something physical, for me. Before I met you, if I was attracted to someone, wanted to fuck them, I did. There were no emotions involved, just physical desire. When we got together, I realized there was a psychic aspect, a spiritual side. I love that, and I love you. You gave me something that I'd never experienced. The thing is, I missed the thrill of a new partner, multiple partners, just letting go for the pure physical sensation. I thought I could have both. I regret not trying to get you involved. Maybe..."

"Sorry, that was never going to happen," I said. "I would have appreciated a heads up, though."

"I know. I was stupid. I wasn't going to stop, though, so it would have eventually come to this, anyway."

"Is that all you wanted to say?" I asked.

"No, I want to say a million things, beg you, make you understand, reassure you it could still be good, but it's all fucked up now. I wish you well, Julian. I love you, and I guess I always will. I have my demons, and they're not yours. If you feel like talking sometime, give me a call. When, and if, you get back, let me know and I'll give you your shot at beating me up, okay?"

I had to chuckle. "I'll look forward to it."

Surprisingly, when I disconnected, I felt better. Not good, but better. Sometimes the things you don't want to hear can be exactly what you need to hear, I thought. I'd see what Tana thought in the morning. The thought of that brown goddess put a smile on my face, and kept it there until I fell asleep.

I texted Tana when I got up and told her I wanted to take her out for breakfast instead of sampling the hotel buffet. She sent me a snap when she was ready, and seeing her smile was the right way to start the day, I decided. We packed up and hit the road, stopping at a place that advertised all-day breakfast.

"I can tell you have something you want to say to me," she said after our food arrived.

"I forgot to wear my tinfoil hat," I said in mock dismay. "You're reading my mind!"

She giggled. "Yeah, I have powers like that."

"I can well imagine you do. You're a little sorceress," I told her. "I do have something to tell you. Argent texted me last night, then called me."

"Oh? What did she have to say, or do you not want to talk about it?"

"No, I do want to say. We talked for a while. Apparently, she just likes sex with different people. She apologized for not being honest with me, told me she still loves me, she just doesn't see giving up banging other people. We agreed that moving on is the best for both of us."

She gave me one of those raised eyebrow looks. God she was cute. "How do you feel about that?" she asked.

"Relieved, mostly," I admitted. "I was feeling pretty damn inadequate, Tana. Like there is something missing in me, something I couldn't give her because I'm just not good enough, emotionally, mentally, I guess, even physically."

"And now?"

I laughed. "Well, I guess there is something I couldn't give her, because I'm only one person."

She grinned at me. "What about the voices?"

I had to chuckle. "They've been pretty quiet lately. Right now, they're telling me we should see what kind of mischief we can get up to today. I think we need to sample Los Angeles. What are your voices saying?"

"Same," she said. "Can we go to Hollywood?"

"We can."

*****

We spent two weeks in and around Los Angeles. We decided it would take ten years to actually see all the places, go everywhere we wanted and do all the things there are to do there. Tana was getting restless feet by the time we decided to move on.

I had more fun in those two weeks than I'd had in the previous two years, I felt. It was awesome not to have to worry about work, household chores, and in fact, I didn't have a worry in the world. It couldn't last, of course, I'd have to do something eventually, but it felt good just to drift along, let whatever happened come, and Tana was a totally free spirit.

We left Los Angeles behind with some regret, and made our way up the coast toward San Francisco. We were old friends, by that time, and I felt totally comfortable with Tana. She obviously felt the same way, and I began to realize this girl, this woman, was someone I wanted in my life, permanently.

We had silly conversations, just teasing each other, and deep philosophical ones, as well. We were driving along, music blasting, and when I glanced over at her, her eyes were closed and her head leaning back against the seat.

I was a little startled when she suddenly reached up to turn down the music. She leaned over against me, her head on my arm and all those curls covering us like a curtain. "Julian, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I said. "This sounds serious."

"No, just a question. I was reminded by that song we were listening too, and I got to thinking. This is personal, so get ready."

I laughed, put my arm around her and squeezed. "Shoot."

"Well, I don't exactly have clear thoughts here, and I might sound kind of... random, okay?"

I gave her another squeeze. "I understand."

"Do you still love Argent?" she asked.

I sighed. "I don't love what she did. It's hard to love deceitful people, Tana. I have a lot of residual feelings about her, yes."

"Well, you said she told you she still loves you and wants to be married to you, right?"

"That's what she said."

"Well, I guess I was kinda wondering, why don't you want to be married to her?"

I didn't say anything for a minute, and she looked up at me, those exotic tilted-up obsidian eyes piercing my soul. "Are you mad?" she asked.

"No, just organizing my thoughts," I said. "Think about it like this: suppose you and I were business partners. Let's say we make and sell gadgets. Let's say we have been selling gadgets for ten years. Then one day, you discover I've made a deal with a company to sell them widgets."

She giggled. "Oh, my favorite things: gadgets and widgets."

I laughed. "Yeah, right? But I've been doing it for five years, and I never told you about it. You're my partner, but I've been in this deal for five years, and kept you out. How do you feel about that?"

"Betrayed? I get what you're saying, though, and I'd probably feel like you do."

There was a moment of silence, and she rubbed her cheek on my arm. "I'm sorry, Julian."

"Thanks."

"Let me ask you something else. Reverse the scenario you said, but what if I was the widget person, I brought you in, right from the beginning, and we sold widgets together?"

"That's a whole different ball game," I said. "I might want to sell widgets with you, or I might have no interest in widgets, but either way, you were honest and not sneaking around behind my back."

She was quiet for a minute. "Yeah, I think honesty is everything."

"It might not be everything, but it's a big thing," I said.

"If she had told you she was into... that from the beginning, would you have married her?" she asked.

"No, I don't think so," I said. "What would be the point? If you're going to live like you're single, why get married?"

"I don't know," she said. "I'm sure I'll think of something."

I laughed. "Well, be sure to let me know when you do."

"I will. I'm pretty smart."

"I know you are. Cute as hell, too," I said.

She got that little blush thing going. "Thanks."

I thought to myself that she really had no idea. She was really unconscious about her appearance. She just regarded herself as Tana, and never gave it another thought.

*****

We prowled around San Francisco, went to Chinatown, ate unknown but delicious food, toured Fisherman's Warf, went to two dinner theaters and had a blast. We were eating dinner and watching the show, and I could tell she was thinking about something.

"What?" I asked.

"When are we going camping?" she asked.

"Oh, my God. You're not going to let me forget about that, are you?"

She giggled. "No. You promised."

"I don't have any gear," I said.

"Get some."

"Where would I possibly put it? We're not exactly driving a truck," I said.

"Let's put the Viper in a parking garage and rent a Jeep, or something," she said. "I'll help pay."

There was plainly no escape, and I capitulated. We parked the Viper, rented a little Jeep Renegade and made a visit to Dick's Sporting Goods.

"Wow, this is a big Dick's" she said when we pulled up, then laughed herself into hysterics when she realized what she'd said. It was contagious, and we could hardly walk inside. I wasn't going to be roughing it, exactly. I got a tent, foam pads to sleep on, sleeping bags, a little propane stove, some pans to cook in, good coolers and a power inverter.

We were both pushing a cart when we left, and she was all big-eyed at the stuff. "We might as well be comfortable," I said. "Well, as comfortable as barbarians can be."

She laughed. "We might as well take a hotel room with us."

We stopped at a grocery store, stocked up and she reserved us a back country camping site on her phone while I bought the food and drinks. We iced everything down in the coolers, and were off on our adventure.

It took us five trips from the Jeep to the camp site to transport our gear, and she declared that would just be a base, that we'd hike out further into the forest and spend one night "raw-dogging it."

There was a little fire pit, and as darkness approached, we cooked dinner and built us a nice fire. I poured tequila in tin cups and we sat by the fire on a log, sipping and talking. "Do you smoke?" I asked.

"Ew, no," she said. "Have you seen me smoke?"

I laughed. "No, not like tobacco."

"Oh, oh! You mean like weed. Yeah, you got some?"

"I have a dab pen and some Raw Garden extract. Want to give it a hit?"

"I do," she said.

We floated on a mellow haze. "I want to put down our bags and look at the stars," she said.

I put down the pads and the bags next to each other, and we lay there, looking up at the night sky through the redwoods. "This is so good, huh, Julian?" she said.

I had to admit it was. There wasn't a sound other than nature, no people, and it seemed like the universe contained only Tana and Julian. I could feel her, warm against my side, and her hot little hand slipped into mine.

After a long while, she rolled until her cheek was in the hollow of my shoulder, lying half over me, her left arm and leg draped over me, pressing herself against me. I idly toyed with one of her curls, twisting it around my finger, my other arm under and around her, lightly massaging her back.

We fell asleep in that position, and I don't know how long we slept. Maybe an hour or more. I felt her shifting around in my sleep-fogged awareness. She wiggled for a minute, then got up. I didn't move. She returned to her former position, but I felt her pull a blanket over us. I sleepily stroked the smooth velvet skin of her back. Something seemed odd about that, and slowly swam to coherent thought. She didn't have on her shirt. It took a minute for that to sink in, and I felt her move further over me, her hot breath on my neck, then she was nibbling, licking my ear.

I came fully awake, and tightened my arm around her. "Tana..."

"Shh," she shushed me. "I'm horny, Julian. Make love to me."

"Are... are you sure?"

"Oh, yeah," she said. "You're so big, hot, gentle; I want you. I've been wanting you for a while. I love you, Julian. I know you're not ready for that, and I don't mean it like maybe you think. I love being with you, talking to you, touching you, the way you look at me, touch me, play with my hair, take care of me."

"I love you, too, Tana, like you mean it. I like you more than anyone I've ever met, I want you in my life, and I don't want to fuck anything up, you know?"

"Don't overthink it, Julian. Just make love to me. Sit up."

I did, and she pulled my t-shirt over my head, slid down under the blanket and tugged at my shorts. This was stunning, and I was unresisting. I moved to help her, and she slid back up, her body rubbing against mine, and as my hands slid down to rest on her butt, I realized she was completely naked. Oh, my God, I thought, she was naked. I had to see this!

I pushed the blanket down, then up over the swell of her ass, as her lips touched mine. We had kissed several times over the weeks we'd been together, but she had never kissed me like this. Her lips were luscious, greedy, full and all over mine, juicy, and her little squirmy tongue invaded my mouth, tangling with mine, the kiss starting my heart beating wildly.

She pulled back, panting, her eyes shining. "Tana, let me... I wanna see you," I gasped.

Her teeth flashed, and she sat up, astride me, and her body was bathed in the flickering flames of our fire, still burning happily. She took my breath away. Argent was tiny, perfection in miniature. Tana was something else. There was nothing miniature about her. Her shape was enough to stop hearts, a perfect hourglass, full high breasts, heavy, but firm with the resilience of the tone of her whole body. God, she was fit. Her waist was tiny, her hips flowing out in the dramatic curves of a woman.

I could dimly see her doing her blushing thing. I reached up, caressing her cheeks, sliding my hands down over the silk of her neck, her shoulders, onto her breasts, and she gasped, then moaned as I splayed my fingers across them, capturing her fat little nipples between two finders and squeezing them.

I had to taste them, and I pulled her down, our hungry mouths together as I rolled, taking her with me until I was on top. I nibbled, licked, made my way down to those luscious tits, capturing one of her nipples and laving it with my tongue, scraping it with my teeth, sucking on it, stretching it and letting it snap back. She was making low moaning sounds now, almost a purr, like she was a big cat.

I sank my fingers into those full mounds, testing the weight and resilience. They were so firm that they retained their shape, even with her lying on her back. I loved tits, any kind, being a normal man. Tiny little cones, big round ones, anything but saggy or fake. Tana's were just spectacular, and they were evidently quite sensitive, because as I played with them, she gave a little gasp, her feet pressed against my thighs and she came. Nothing earth shattering, but she thrust against me. I started to slide down, wanting to see more of her, but she stopped me.

"I want you inside me, Julian. We'll play later. Oh, God, am I looking forward to playing, for hours, but I'm on fire. I want you in me!"

She was writhing, thrusting up, her hands on my ass, trying to pull me to her. I adjusted, and there it was, slick, juicy, she was very wet and the head of my cock slipped in easily. She froze and I didn't move for a minute.

"Oh, my God!" she gasped. "Jesus Christ, you have a big dick, Julian. Easy... I'm... stretching me..."

I chuckled to myself. I was flattered, of course, but I wasn't some porn star. I figured she wasn't very experienced, and she was very tight, gripping me like a hand. I rested for a minute, just bathing the head of my cock in her heat, and she relaxed, beginning to make those motions again.

I moved forward, slowly, gently, and she gasped and moaned until I was fully immersed in the experience that was Tana in one smooth long motion.

"Oh, my God," she moaned. "Oh, my God, Julian. I'm... so full... so good."

She pulled my lips to hers, and I drew back, then returned as our lips slid, tongues dueling, her hot kisses driving me. We quickly found a rhythm, and she was wild, bucking up under me, feet against my thighs, hands on my ass, pulling me into her, leaving to run up and down my body, and the sounds she made, that purring, moaning sound, little gasps, squeaks of surprise as I changed angles and speed, every ounce of energy she had thrown into making love, just as it was with everything else she did.

I had never had a more active sexual partner. Her moans got louder and more frequent, becoming hoarse little groans and she exploded under me, bridging up against me, her orgasm heralded with a hoarse little cry of ecstasy. God, she was good.

I was fighting for control, wanting to fuck her until she couldn't take any more, and I just held inside her as she pulsed around me. Deep inside, short little motions until she came back to earth a little. I resumed my motions and she held on.

"More? Oh, God, Julian."

"Much more," I said.

I pushed up on my hands and gave her long rapid strokes and she went off again. There was no holding back this time, and I came with her, pulsing inside her. She went wild when she felt me come, sobbing, calling my name, pushing against me until I moved to kiss her, stroke that fantastic body, murmur sweet words in her ear, telling her what a fantastic girl she was, how much I loved making love to her.

I never went soft, and I could feel her contracting around me as aftershocks pulsed through her body. I started moving again, and she was shocked, I think.

"Julian... I don't think..."

I silenced her with a kiss and continued to move inside her. I pulled out, flipped her over, moved back between her legs and entered her as she lay supine beneath me.

There it was: the most fantastic ass I had ever seen or imagined. I'd seen in in her workout outfits, and knew how spectacular it was, but in its naked glory, it was the stuff of fantasy. Full, round, bouncy and oh so silky, I wanted to look at it, lick it, but not right then.

She groaned as I slid back inside. "My God, Julian. It's so deep, baby. I don't know if I..."

Her words became a moan as I thrust up into her as deep as I could go, the cheeks of that glorious ass slapping against me. I moved slowly, at first and she came, then again. I could feel her tiring. "One more time," I whispered in her ear.

"No, I can't... please... Oh, my God" she gave that hoarse little squeak again as I pounded into her. I put my hand around her throat, squeezing a little and she exploded again. I went with her, and we both collapsed, exhausted. I rolled us, my cock still inside her, spooning her, wrapping her in my arms, one arm under her head, the elbow crooked so I could reach up and cup one of those lush titties, the other moving down over her to cup her little pussy as I deflated and slipped free.

She cried a little. "Are you okay, baby girl?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, I just... God, I'm so emotional. That was... beyond things, Julian. Jesus you're a good lover."