All Comments on 'Someone to Watch Over Her Ch. 03'

You can't help but love these characters. Is incest best if they are not even related? So many questions! Great story!

I thought the ending was a little short. I was expecting a more thorough finish if that makes sense. Love your stories and look forward to more in the future.

I too disagree with your "almost lyrical" comment but somehow I don't think those banana style anons will agree with me. I think some of this writing is definitely lyrical, not 'almost'.

Fine work Randi. Thank you.

A very nice story.

Thank you.

I really loved this story until the ending. It just did not fit with the start or the rest of the story. So unlike your other stories. For once I felt that you had difficulty with the ending and just tacked this on to enable you to move on to something else.

I think you tied up the loose ends but I have to say it was a bit off. I enjoyed it but compared to the first two parts it was rushed.

Are they father and daughter or not. Canton and his wife were lovers and made love including the birth of Fallon.

I think you cheapened the whole story.

I assume they will be together, but she treated him like CRAP.

I gave you 5 stars, but do not think you deserve the ending.

Sorry, Randi, but the third part just doesn't live up to the first two. With the first two parts, even though there was minimal sexual content, the story drew me in. But this third part just seemed rushed. It was building something, and had so much possibility - Fallon rescuing Canton, whether or no Canton was really Fallon's father, and so on. But then it just ended. Would you consider having another go at some point, and drawing this third part out into a full story?

from the rest of the story. It felt forced. A little like an exercise of putting the story in an odd place add picking a random end to get to.

Was great! I had to reread the first two and then the last. You left it open si that if you wanted to do another you can.

Read this series twice. Always a pleasure.

Enjoyed this!

I would have liked to know what she was doing for the outfit she worked for after leaving the law firm as I assume it was them that tracked and released him?

You left too many strings hanging loose. Were did she go? Who rescued Canton?

How??? There are many more. Your a better writer then this, I know, I read your stuff.

Dearest Blackrandl1958,

What happened? These characters are so rich yet, as of this writing, the story has gone flat. I need an epilogue, a finish, questions answered. Tell me more!

GG

Ch three is just a waste of type,it is a jumbled mix match of vague entities.

Sorry but i think you dropped the ball with this chapter.

Your other work shows you can write some really good stories and this was of the same standard until this chapter...

You rushed the end just wanting to finish and not doing what you most always do. Completing what you started, a great story. The people you always praise let you down by not encysting you give your readers the professionalism you are known for. Then that awful ending, my mother was a slut and cheating on you. Your life was all for naught because I'm not your daughter. That five just became a TWO**

Ended with a wimp!!! A+

The story was amazing until the ending. And I agree with the consensus. This last chapter sucks. Why the rush? With such a full, sexy, exciting and suspenseful story until this point, you race to end the story and don’t answer the questions promised by the characters. This definitely needs a redo and a full new thorough ending. Please take the time to make it right.

Hi Randi. BJ again.

Why is it that some of your stories end up with the same problem: loose ends, ESPECIALLY in this chapter. Here, much too many such ends are left untied. There are so many loose ends that I have to join the other reviewers in saying that this chapter sucks. It has a major negative impact on the whole story and the level of pleasure the reader usually derives from your writings is seriously compromised.

In the first two chapters, you build quite a program and level of interest in this story and all of a sudden there is NO quality any more. The reader is let down miserably and brutally. Out of respect for your readers, please review this chapter and raise it to the same level as the first two. The first two chapters command a solid five stars plus, plus, plus but the last one barely commands a one, because the rating scale does not include a zero. It looks and feels like it is coming from a high school drop-out with no idea what he/she is doing. That is so NOT like you.

It feels like your support team needs a serious shake-up and reconstruction, new blood. This team let you down (and us, the readers) big time with this chapter of the story.

Did I say that I adored the first two chapters but I hated this last one?

BJ

What a let down after reading the 1st 2 chapters. I whole heartedly agree with the previous comment from BJ.

I agree with the other commenters that this last chapter was rushed, left too many holes, and didn’t measure up to the first two. Unusual for you and disappointing.

It just suddenly stops. What else is there to say. Whatever the author was imagining as an ending I as a reader didn't get it.

Mystery tenacity surprise like father like daughter.

You did so very well with this. Great writing and incredible creativity. Personally, I'm not good with the ending, I was expecting more. It is what it is however. You wrote a really good story.

[05.11.22]

Great series!

11/10!!!!!

Sometimes I think you are better than saddletramp Keep up the GREAT stories (jaybee186)

The ending seems strange, abrupt. Fallon disappears, comes back a badass agent, and tells him one thing, when there were two she was going to tell him.

Agree with vanye, ending seemed a bit abrupt. How did Fallon become an agent? Or "agent", I suppose. Just left a lot of loose threads, was a good story regardless, just not your best.

Although I enjoyed the series, the ending was disappointing. Too sudden, little clarity, and much left open.

I agree with vanye, too abrupt, too short, too lacking; however, overall a great read. Another chapter or more is required! Thank you.

Decent story spoilt by an awful rushed ending.

That ending was abrupt and disappointing. I thought there was more tale to tell. Like how Fallon rescued Canton and more abiut her position in the new firm. Also the demise of his captor. So much more juice was left untapped. And the of ciyrse, the child, born unto them following their passionate reunion.

I know, i'm a bit out there.

Well done, though. Excellent work.

5 cookies

What a miraculous plot. Happily ever after is implied. Still there are many questions to answer.