All Comments on 'Something in the Water Pt. 01'

Can’t wait for the next chapter

great new series!

Can't wait to see where this goes.

I liked the setting in particular -- when someone pulls off a solid historical setting in an erotic story, it just adds to the heat of it. There were a few anachronisms -- chicken tenders/nuggets weren't invented until the mid-70s, for example -- but overall you sustained it well. There was a 50s *feel* about it, which is the big thing.

I'm a fan of the slow buildup, so I love you didn't just bolt immediately into the sex like a lot of authors would have. What's here is great, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Chapter 3 is now complete.

I post my chapters on Literotica three weeks apart, so 2 is coming mid-March and 3 should drop early April.

If you want to check them out sooner, Chapters 2 and 3 are available right now on https://www.subscribestar.com/rawlyrawls

Also, thank you all for your helpful and constructive comments. I really appreciate the feedback!

Your imagination on the alien research is worthwhile but can I ask why you took the time frame as the 50's and not more current ?

I read some of the other chapters. Not to completion, but this is grand story. Gives me a real cool Stranger Things type of vibe with all the past elements to it. And I do have to say, the later chapters get real hot and better as time goes on. I love it. And you do a good job with the casual writing too, certain word choices making the story a lot better and hitting a sweet chord. It's neat. If you weren't writing for Literotica, I would say you would make a great regular writer too.

Good job. Definitely the best Literotica story I ever read.

The much larger cast of characters in this one felt distracting. The superb pacing in TDS was much slower here since each character lost 2/3 of the "screen time" to the others, cutting the tension. Characters (particularly the mothers) and settings were similar enough among the three POVs that it was difficult to adjust to the switches and what progress had been made among each pairing. POV switches also occurred too frequently overall; I counted 10-11 in Ch 1 alone, which looks to be approx 7k words.

Despite the criticisms, the writing is fantastic and you have a very imaginative mind.

This series of stories was wonderful. Only one minor thing: in the 1950's, every adult woman, and many teenagers wore stockings and a girdle. That was my experience.

Kinda put off by the fact that all boys are affected. I mean what makes them special if they all live the sale thing?

I was more into your other stories with only one male main character who conquers all the female for himself.

So I'm gonna stop there for this story.

One of my favourite stories. Great setup, perfect pacing.

>It seems the dominant species was reluctant to breed with family members. Her makers had run into this before with another species at Tau Ceti.

Well yeah, it's bad for a population's overall health! I guess we'll see if the plotline is that the aliens are trying to exterminate Earth with inbreeding. Not sure why they couldn't just use a neutron beam colossus like a normal person...

Absolutely loved this series!!! Good pacing, you actually get an attachment or disdain for characters, and just overall very well written! Even with so many chapters and that many sexual acts, it wasn't just the same words on repeat. Geat job!!! I was hooked all the way through!

Liking the story so far but there is one correction though. The Leonid meteor shower is NOT "...only one night." This year, in 2023, the Leonid meteor shower will be active from 6-30 November and peak on 17–18 November between midnight and dawn. Next time, please use google if you don't know the information. A little research beforehand goes a long way.

Don't use words with which your not familiar.

Great beginning, I can't wait to see where it leads!

Very erotic story. Good beginning. Hope rest of the chapters are as good.

Excellent start, looking forward to see where it goes from here.