All Comments on 'Something We Need To Talk About Ch. 03'

Is this a translation from Klingon? Where are the grammar police and editor's. Not a good read. You might not have heard of the word "grima", but you have almost certainly felt it.

It's a word to describe the feeling we get when we hear the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, or a knife scratching a plate.

no ending?

Maybe later after you practice and learn some more English, a re-writer would be better.

Re-write would be good but an ending would help a lot.

This was a painful read. You really need an editor the language was very bad. I had to repeatedly skip to the end to help me move on. Please please please get an editor.

I am trying to be gentle and sympathetic, understanding, etc., but these three chapters are some of the worst I have read on this site. Your English is SO bad it is simply atrocious. It was a painful, disjointed read and truthfully, I could not understand a lot of it, maybe most of it, so I ended up with sort of the gist of what was going on. Back in chapter 1 Susan says to Rich: ""He has my coronation videotaped". What in the world did that mean? Coronation? Did Susan suddenly become the queen of some place? I could understand that possibly you meant "confession", and not coronation, but maybe you meant something else entirely. I have no idea. On top of this, the dialog was banal, long and tiresome. I could probably sum up your entire 3 chapters in a few paragraphs. The good news is all you can do from here is better.

I have just two things to say. Get an editor, and "maybe" Is one word.

You desperately need an editor, second when are you going to write the ending? Because if that’s the way you finish your story, it’s pitiful on your part as a writer.