Song for a Still River

"Six- no, seven," Lorelei muttered.

"Have you been taking your pills?" the mother asked.

The paintbrush paused above the canvas. Lorelei turned her full attention to her mother, who was trying to keep her expression neutral. That immediately set her nerves on edge. False expressions. Lies. She took a deep breath and watched her mother's eyes flick in her direction.

"The pills are no longer necessary." She was careful to keep her voice smooth and calm.

"So, you've been sleeping well? The nightmares haven't reoccurred?" The next inevitable question.

"I sleep well enough. No dreams that last longer than waking. Certainly, nothing that required a pill afterward," Lorelei explained slowly.

"Progress then."

Lorelei just nodded to her mother and refocused her attention on the painting, feeling her mind sinking into the creative fugue once more.

A heavy sigh announced more was coming. This pulled the younger woman from her art. Paintbrush hovering, she turned her eyes in her mother's direction.

Beatrice pouted. "If I'd known you were going to be painting this weekend, I would have remained in the city with Peter—"

"Pedo Pete." The automatic response sprung from Lorelei's lips.

Her mother shot her an angry look at the rude name. She believed her daughter overreacted to a simple misunderstanding. There was no way Peter would have made advances on her daughter. And holding a grudge over it for two years was excessively childish!

This was the latest wedge driving them apart.

She huffed. "You know, it wouldn't hurt you to show a little maturity and put this unpleasant situation behind you!"

The paintbrush slipped from fingers made numb by a surge of rage.

"Unpleasant situation? Would it hurt you to put aside your selfish need to protect your boyfriend and, for once, just once, listen to and believe your daughter?!? You don't put sexual abuse behind you!" she snapped.

"He'd never—"

"HE DID! To your flesh and blood?" She held her mother's eye, hoping she might finally slip and tell the truth.

Instead, Beatrice's expression closed up. "Fine. If you're going to act like a spoiled child, I'm not going to waste my weekend listening to your vile lies and accusations. I'm done. I'm going back to the city." She spun on her heels and marched out of the studio.

"Make sure you call Pete on your way back to let him know you're coming. You wouldn't want to surprise him with an underage hooker!" Lorelei screamed, her voice cracking.

She heard the front door slam and, moments later, the screech of tires accelerating the car out of the driveway and down the road.

Lorelei's breath was coming in deep, shuddering gasps as she looked down at the fallen brush. She knelt down to pick it up but instead crumpled to the floor as tears burst from her. These became sobs as she realized she'd been abandoned. Her mother, the woman who'd shown her so much love and nurturing as a child, who'd held her close to help her get through the really bad years, she was choosing a stranger over her. Worse, a man who'd touched her places he shouldn't have while whispering horrible things in her ear.

The loss ripped through her, and she wailed her heartache and loneliness.

She lost track of time as she remained on the floor, grieving her loss, but felt the tears streaming down her cheeks fall away like she was losing little pieces of her soul.

She was only dimly aware of the sounds of deep thumps and heavy footfalls, so she shrieked when a finger gently wiped tears from her cheek.

The hand instantly pulled back, and she frantically wiped at her bleary eyes to see who was crowding around her. She first recognized... a uniform?

"Miss? Are you okay? Are you injured?" the firefighter asked anxiously, roughly wiping his wet finger against his pant leg.

She blinked in surprise as her eyes took in the people beginning to collect in the room.

A loud, rough voice barked from just outside the door. "What the fuck is going on here? Who are you people?"

Lorelei began to recognize some of the faces of the people gathered in the room and in the doorway. Many were neighbors. She didn't recognize the others.

"Can you understand me?" The fireman tried again. She nodded shakily. "Are you injured?" She shook her head. "Did you call 911?" Her eyes widened in surprise as she shook again.

She heard arguing in the hallway then the crowd there began to disperse as a police officer came into view. He was getting them to leave, gently pulling them from the room and pushing them towards the stairs.

Lorelei could see the people leaving were confused and upset. They cast anxious looks back at her as they were made to leave the room.

"Miss, can you tell me your name?" the fireman asked as a paramedic entered the room.

"Who are all these people?" the new arrival asked the cop in exasperation.

"Fuck if I know."

She jumped when she felt her hand touched and saw it was the fireman trying to get her attention. "Lorelei," she whispered.

The man smiled in relief. "I'm Mike. Can you tell me what happened?"

She struggled to understand why everyone was here. She used her sleeves to wipe the tears from her cheeks, then tried to get to her feet. Mike was instantly at her elbow, eager to help her up. She pulled back from him and looked up at him cautiously.

"Hey Mike, I think the young lady can manage on her own," the cop suggested.

"Back off! Can't you see she's hurting?!?" Mike snarled as he spun to face him.

"Easy! No need to get hostile!" the cop said uneasily as the paramedic looked at the fireman's face closely.

"I think he's high."

"She doesn't need you! You can leave! Get out!" Mike spat as he moved between them and Lorelei.

"Yeah, he's tripping out," the paramedic said placing his case down, out of the way.

With a roar, Mike launched himself at the two men. The cop leapt back in surprise, but the paramedic had experience with exactly this kind of behavior. It helped that he also had martial arts training, so he had Mike pinned to the floor in seconds.

"A little help here? Cuffs!" the paramedic grunted as he struggled with the thrashing man. The cop dropped to his knee to slap the restraints on the fireman's wrists. There were angry shouts from the doorway as the fireman's coworkers arrived.

Lorelei was on her feet and backed up to the window in shock. Turning her face from the violence inside, she glanced out the window. Her eyes were drawn to the lovely blue light glowing from the water in the neighbor's large in-ground pool in their backyard. The color was so soothing, but her eyes were frozen by the ugly sight of the body floating face down in the water.

Her mind flashed to a river in Germany...

...a child sitting on a swim raft anchored offshore...

...and her father floating face down in the water between it and the shore as she screamed.

Her eyes rolled up and she was out before she hit the floor.

Chapter 3

Lorelei slowly surfaced, but her brain remained murky. It felt... familiar. She remembered. Her pills. Someone gave her... more than one. Why?

She struggled to clear her mind. She might have moaned.

"She's waking."

That was an unfamiliar voice. She forced her eyes open slowly, and the room swam into focus. She saw a dark-skinned woman with a stethoscope tucked in the pocket of a white coat. A doctor? She was in a hospital?

"Where'm I?" she managed.

"Silver Springs Psychiatric Hospital," the doctor said with a smile.

Then Lorelei saw her mother standing some distance from the bed in the shadows. "Mom?"

She stepped forward stiffly and looked to the doctor. "May I speak to her in private, please."

The doctor watched her carefully and then nodded. "I'll be right outside."

Beatrice focused on the bedsheets when the door closed and wouldn't look her daughter in the eye. Lorelei began to worry. "How'd I ge' here?" she asked. She was having trouble controlling her tongue in her mental haze.

"The Norwalk Hospital called me. You'd fainted in your studio, and the paramedics couldn't wake you. They took you to the hospital. I'm your... emergency contact. I drove back from Manhattan." Her stiff expression looked like it might collapse for a second, but she locked it back into an impassive mask.

"I got a full report from a police officer I met at the hospital who'd been at the house. He informed me that there was quite a scene after I left. He said one of the firemen became deranged for no apparent reason and had to be subdued. The police managed to get the neighbors to leave our house, but they wouldn't leave our property. He said they were quite agitated and couldn't explain why. Something about hearing a sound or a song. He said they weren't clear on what they heard but were all exceptionally sad and anxious."

Lorelei couldn't speak. She couldn't look away from her mother, though the woman had yet to look at her.

"The policeman told me you might have seen Mr. Havel dead in his pool." Her voice cracked with tension. "The poor man had a bad heart. Spent his days working on his roses in his greenhouse. They can't explain why he did it. Again, for no apparent reason, he left his greenhouse, and he... he walked into the pool fully dressed and drowned!" She screamed the last words.

The door opened, and the doctor stepped in. "Mrs. Reichenbach? Why are you yelling?"

Beatrice ignored the doctor and finally turned her eyes to her daughter's. Lorelei gasped at the negative emotions she saw there. Pain, fear, but worst of all, hate warred for control in her mother's expression. "Was that how it was with Michael? Did you sing him a song to lure him to his death? Did you! Did he die just like Mr. Havel?"

The doctor had heard enough and moved to take her arm. Beatrice slapped the woman away with a vicious backhand to the face but never took her eyes from her daughter. The doctor cried out and fell. She looked up at Beatrice in shock and fear, then crawled quickly from the room.

The raging woman stepped back to close the door and then returned to the side of the bed. "How did you know?" she hissed.

Lorelei was in shock and couldn't speak. Her mother had never accused her of killing her father before.

"How did you know she'd be there!" Beatrice yelled louder, hate radiating from her.

"Who?" Lorelei choked out as tears ran down her cheeks.

"THE WHORE!"

Comprehension flashed across Lorelei's face as she recalled her hateful words to her mother before she left. "I didn'—"

"LIAR!" Beatrice grabbed the railing on the bed and shook it. "You knew he'd be with her! You did something to those people. You killed Mr. Havel!"

"I DIDn'!" she tried to cry out in denial, but the fog of the drugs slurred her words.

Her mother rocked back as she heard confirmation. "I knew it!" Her mouth opened and closed in shock. "You took them from me... the men I loved. Any way you could."

"Mom?"

Beatrice jerked as her blue eyes held brown. "You're not mine."

Lorelei sucked in a sharp breath as pain shot through her chest. The truth!

Beatrice had an almost frantic look in her eye. Now that she'd started, it all had to come out.

"I found you when you were just a newborn, naked in the snow next to the Lippe River. We were living in Hamm, Germany. Michael was away, working in the States at the end of a six-month contract." She shook her head, lost in her memories. "I'd just spoken to my doctor. He told me I'd never conceive a child. I was going to throw myself into the river, and there you were. A miracle." Her eyes turned cold. "But you were a curse in disguise! You took Michael from me when I was at my happiest! Now you've taken Peter! You're a witch!"

Lorelei was crying and shaking her head in denial at the vicious words coming from her mother's mouth. She was having a hard time breathing as her chest was so tight. She was beginning to feel lightheaded and prickly.

The door pushed open, and a large man dressed in hospital scrubs entered. The doctor was right behind him. They'd obviously caught at least the end of the mother's confession as they looked at her angrily.

"Mrs. Reichenbach, please come with us," the doctor said sternly.

Beatrice looked at them in confusion. "No! Don't you understand? She's a witch! She's been put in my life to take everyone I love away from me!"

The big man moved towards her but froze when Beatrice yanked a gun from her purse. She waved it at him, and he raised his hands with a calming gesture.

"Put the gun away. You don't want to do this," he said quietly.

Beatrice began to cry. "I just wanted a baby for Michael and me! That's not unreasonable! I didn't deserve this! I don't!" She turned her eyes to Lorelei. "She has to be stopped." Before anyone could move or speak, she swung the barrel to point it at her daughter and squeezed the trigger.

The noise was deafening in the small room, and everyone froze in the moment's shock.

Beatrice's eyes were wide, surprised by her boldness and what she'd just done. The orderly leapt forward to grab the gun now that it wasn't pointed at him. Beatrice surprised him by swinging her arm back as she leaned down and away. The gun went off again, and the orderly grunted as the bullet ripped through the outer edge of his chest, grazing a rib. He crashed into Beatrice, and they went down hard, her head striking the edge of the bed frame on the way down. The gun bounced away as it slipped from her nerveless hand.

The orderly lay there on top of the woman as his own head rang with pain and adrenaline. He finally realized the woman under him was unconscious, so he pushed himself back to his feet and spun back to the door. "Doctor, call—"

She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall with her hands pressed to her collarbone. The white jacket was quickly becoming red under her hands. She looked back to him in shock, then her eyes dimmed, and her bloody hands slid down to rest on her lap.

The man called out for help as he knelt beside the doctor and checked for a pulse but found none. He stared at the ragged hole in her chest and the blood saturating her jacket. It didn't seem possible! He stepped back as two other doctors arrived. He winced as his own wound decided it wanted some attention, too. He turned his eyes to the bed and saw the lovely woman slumped back against the pillow next to a bullet hole. If the gun's barrel had been aimed five inches to the right, the bullet would have struck her directly between the eyes.

When he looked back towards the door, he saw the doctor's body was gone. He was still in shock. It all happened so fast. If it wasn't for the obvious evidence of the blood, his pain, and the unconscious woman on the floor, he'd begin to wonder if it had happened at all. He felt someone touching his hand and saw one of the doctors carefully lifting his arm to examine his injury.

That's when he really began to feel it. Reality slammed home. Getting shot sucked!

He looked at the woman on the bed and frowned. Waking up to find out your mother had attempted to murder you was going to hurt in a different way but would likely be no less painful.

Chapter 4

Lorelei spent a month in the hospital. She'd convinced them she no longer needed the pills, but she took sessions with one of their psychologists to work through the trauma of her mother trying to kill her. Dr. Karin Eider was an older woman with greying blonde hair worn up in a bun. Slim and short, she was keenly intelligent, relaxed by nature, and had a quick wit. She'd likely turned heads in her younger days as she still had an elegant beauty. She also had a charming old-world accent and immediately put Lorelei at ease in their first session. The younger woman found herself able to open up to the doctor, releasing her fears and guilt.

By the fourth week of their sessions, Dr. Eider broached the topic of her father. She'd been told that Beatrice blamed Lorelei for his death. She wanted to see if the young woman remembered anything of the day and had any more information about what actually happened.

"Are you comfortable?" she asked, gesturing to the chair, and received a nod and a smile. "Relaxed?" she continued with a smile of her own, and another bright smile was returned. "Good!" They settled in their chairs and watched each other.

"As we discussed, your mother made some pretty outrageous statements on your first night with us." She looked into Lorelei's eyes and saw the pain there. Not the grief she'd first struggled with, so she saw she was making progress.

"Statements based on an event which happened so long ago, when you were only five! Children of that age haven't developed the tools for remembering," she continued. The young woman nodded.

"That said, sometimes memories are retained for specific events. Do you have any memories of that day you are able to share?" she asked gently.

Lorelei frowned as she concentrated on the painful pieces she retained.

"I-I recall my father's voice. Assuring me all would be fine." The doctor nodded. "I remember... water. The feel of its movement?" She frowned as that felt wrong, but she moved on. "There was a platform anchored out in a river. I was on it, and my father was on the shore." A tremor ran through her body.

"What were you feeling just then?" the doctor asked.

Lorelei looked into her eyes. "Fear. I have a phobia of being immersed in water, of drowning. I won't even take a bath. Showers only."

"Ah, this is something I was unaware of. Thank you. Proceed." Dr. Eider said with satisfaction.

The young woman nodded, then shook her head. "The only thing left is a feeling of being terrified, crying, and then... seeing my father dead in the water. Nothing after that."

The doctor nodded and thought about what she'd heard. "I understand you are quite the painter."

This brought a smile of relief to Lorelei's face. A topic she was much happier talking about. "I love painting! It's such a release!"

"I've seen pictures of them, and they are lovely, but pardon my ignorance, there is a seemingly heightened excitement about them that is beyond my understanding," she confessed with a smile to take the sting out of her words.

Lorelei grinned at the doctor's attempt to blunt her insult. "It's quite all right. For some reason, photos of my paintings just don't pick up their... impact. You have to witness one in person. I can't describe it better than that."

"Then I'm eager to witness this!" she said enthusiastically.

"I'll see what I can do," Lorelei responded with a smile and a nod.

The older woman looked out the window at the blue sky with fluffy white clouds. It was a warm day. "Have you wandered the neighborhood yet?" she asked and received a surprised shake of the head. "Then come! We will continue our session outside today. I have something to show you."

They left her office and the building to walk at a comfortable pace down the lane to the main road. They didn't talk. They just enjoyed the warm sun and the fresh breeze.

Traffic was quiet, so they crossed the road, and Lorelei followed the doctor a short distance up the road to another lane. They turned, and she saw a bridge a short distance up the road. She gave the doctor a happy grin.

Soon, they were standing on the bridge, looking down at the water flowing under them. Lorelei immediately felt more at peace.

"You like the river?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," Lorelei sighed.

"When you spotted the bridge, you seemed happy. Was that what you were feeling?"

"Yes, and a little excited. I wanted to run to it," the young woman said with a chuckle.

Eider smiled as she processed that. "So you are happy and excited to be near rivers, yet you fear being in them."

Lorelei glanced over at her and nodded, her smile fading a little.