All Comments on 'Son's Surprise Birthday Gift'

Love the stockings and ass play. Please, continue.

What a dick drainer, came 3 times while reading and even tasted my cum, going to jack off all day!

More stories please! Thanks for the great story!

Carter's reuse of exactly the same phrases in a number of places in the story were offputting, made me think that you didn't get anyone to proofread this before posting it and that you had gone back into the story, added more descriptive stuff but then had Carter say precisely the same thing again.

Good effort, stimulating otherwise, but do try to find someone to proof it before posting in future to avoid the; "Jeez, didn't he just say the exact same thing a paragraph ago?" break in the narrative flow.

Sure wish mom had given in to me when she discovered I was spying on her & using her panties. She allowed me to spy on her by never closing her door. So I guess I should've went into her room but never did. She never talked to me about it. Almost as if it was a Forbidden topic around the house.

DON'T write conversations as one paragraph. When the character talking changes, start a new paragraph.

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Groaning audibly in disappointment, "Ok mom." "Seriously baby, I will think about it, I'm not saying no, I'm just not saying yes yet. Ok?" "Sure mom."

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Groaning audibly in disappointment, "Ok mom."

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"Seriously baby, I will think about it. I'm not saying no, I'm just not saying yes yet. Ok?"

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"Sure mom."

Naive style of writing, sinwriter. Spelling, spelling, spelling! Repeating paragraphs. Bad layout of conversations. Sigh. You badly need an editor. But bravo anyway for your efforts; we all need help as we go along...

A few times you wrote the same paragraph twice.

"He let her rest on the mattress again, having seen the glazed look in his mom's eyes was such a turn on, she wasn't his mother, she was his sex toy as it were, but at the same time, she was his sex toy too." WORD SALAD - KAMALA WOULD BE PROUD!

Please continue. Leave out double paragraphs.

Great story..makes me remember my mother and her aggressive looking protruding nipples…kneeling before her and eating..so many ways this story could go.. I like it when the mother is selfish and uses sex to manipulate her horny son..maybe the ultimate manipulation too, stopping all birth control and choosing to become pregnant. Who cares about her son’s future..He’ll have to get a job and support mommy and their baby…So so hot..

JT

Very nice, but the talk of adding additional guys cost you a star from me. 4/5

A lot of room for improvement, but very much so enjoyed the read. Perhaps we can have more in the not to distant future and if you wish to run an idea past me do so at: jildijow@outlook.com

Too much back and forth. Hard to follow.

Good but you need to edit your stories.

I had to stop reading at page two because it was getting annoying. You are pulling a Susan Jill Parker. There is a reason I stopped reading her stories. The whole repeating herself over and over again was extremely redundant and annoying. You are doing the same thing on page 2. You do a few paragraphs then you repeat a paragraph. Then you do a few new paragraphs then you repeat a paragraph. Why?

1 star

You wrote g good story here.

As most others have said the repetition of sentences detracts from the story, but I look forward to the second instalment. I really enjoyed it

The basic concept is okay but I couldn’t read it all.

In addition to the complaints many others have noted, you need to do a little more research. For one, a negligee is sleepwear - not something mom would wear under her dress. The writing appears to be that of a horny teenager even younger the protagonist in the story.

And the grammatical errors, missing words, and nonsensical phrases make it very difficult to read.

Appears as if you hurriedly spit it out then uploaded and never actually read it or had a friend read it.

It was good until the last page and then you ruined it by suggesting that your mother have sex with other guys. Why would you want her to turn into a whore?

Never in any real scenario that a son gets his fantasy woman his mother. Would he want to share her or allow other men to fuck her. He would rather kill the competition and be with her forever