Sorting Fact from Fantasy

UK ENGLISH A short love story with a twist of betrayal

Chapter 1 -- Aoife & Jake, Marriage & Fantasy

My husband Jake has told me many times over the last eight or ten years that his fantasy is he'd like to see me fuck another man, a common enough fantasy as I understand it.

I'd always turned him down, didn't even take it slightly seriously. Recently I've given it a lot of thought, after all, I'm slim and fit, but at 44 I'm not getting any younger and when I think of hitting fifty and getting a few more life signs on my face, those crow's feet, the smile lines around the mouth and eyes that get deeper with age I sometimes wonder should I do it before my attractiveness takes a dive.

What I never worked out right up until I became ready to go with his fantasy was why? Surely no man really wants his wife fucking other guys? Surely it was just a fantasy, something when push comes to shove he would row back on.

Like many other wives and husbands, I've a couple of dirty little secrets I don't want my husband to know about. Even though it seems they may well, ok, they almost certainly would turn him on.

I've twice had one-night stands when I have been away from home with work. One was with a slightly older work colleague; it was a bad mistake that I shut down, though the guy wanted more. I blamed it on drink, though in all honestly, at the time it was simple lust for a different cock and yes that was a terrible error of judgment, so when he tried again I was brutal in closing it down and letting him know there are company policies and if necessary complaints procedures, and that stopped him dead in his tracks. Worse again, like me he was married, what fools we were.

Cheating should always be "a mistake", but I've never been able to see my only other one night stand that way. I've lost count of the number of wanking fantasies that night's given me over the years, polishing my rampant clit thinking of that beautiful man and his massive cock. Literally the most complete and fulfilling sexual experience of my life. Sorry Jake, but it just was, nobody else I've ever fucked comes close.

The guy was huge, he had great stamina and recovery time, of course him being 23 to my 34 when it happened ten years ago, explains that. He was a 6'7" Norwegian, Svende, he was a rower and he was a 250-pound mass of muscle. I get wet thinking of him ten years later, my dream fuck.

So, for full disclosure, I'm telling you that I've never conducted an affair behind my husband's back, but yes, I've cheated those two times and honestly, I regret one, not the other, I'm glad I had my big Norwegian, he was truly a huge man from top to toe.

If I saw him tomorrow I'd hope he would want me one more time, and if he wanted me, he'd have me, he was that good, long, thick and knew how to use what God gave him.

However back to the present, Jake and I, are empty nesters having married young and had our two children quickly. He's a high-level civil servant, I'll not go into his job too closely as it has duties covered by the Official Secrets Act.

I'm Aoife, by the way, for the non-Irish amongst you that sounds like Ee-fa, a 44-year-old Irish accountant living in London, married to an English husband Jake, also 44, Oxford born and bred and he attended university there too, clever boy that he is.

I've flame red hair, though I don't have the fiery personality that might suggest, I'm actually a control freak. I'm told I'm beautiful but any woman at 44 will tell you she doubts that, especially when it's her husband that tells her. I've a pretty good figure, nice sized boobs, and a killer ass that I work hard at the gym to keep that way.

Sex? Oh yes please, I love it, I always have, since I lost my virginity, let's say a little younger than would be considered ideal.

Well, I suppose when I said "Sex?" I should have said, yes we are active, definitely twice a week, more often 3 times and occasionally we screw like rabbits most night of the week. Despite what I'm about to relate to you, I've always thought Jake very satisfying in bed, I love him dearly despite my two slips, well one bad slip & one dream fuck.

So, to Jake's fantasy and my recent consideration of it, I've always had this thought, why does he want to see me fucked? Is he secretly interested in cock? I really puzzle about the why of it.

He'd been pushing it occasionally for God's knows how long. He said he didn't just want me to go out and fuck someone, and come home and tell him about it, he wanted to watch me being fucked. He'd like to be in the room or he would be happy if it was broadcast live to his laptop or just recorded, the feckin' pervert!

He also wanted it to be some guy with a bigger cock that his decent 6 or 7 inches and in all honesty, finally that is what made me think, yeah, maybe I can get on board with this.

I'll be honest Svende, had been at least 8 probably 9 inches so, fuck yes, that idea appealed to me. In fact, if I could be certain that Jake was not going to blow a gasket after the fact of me getting fucked, due to buyer's remorse, there was very little downside from my point of view -- fuck, what am I saying, there is no downside to having a strange cock if your husband is good with it that I can see.

Maybe I just wasn't thinking enough about it, but I was thinking very much that if this was going to happen it would be thought out and planned, not on a whim. Did I mention being a control freak?

So, on a Friday night after we had enjoyed a few drinks with friends we were home, we were in bed, had fucked, no, actually we hadn't fucked, we had a nice slow sensual bit of lovemaking.

In the afterglow, and with what I'd been thinking about, I said, "Jake, tell me a fantasy."

As I expected he said, "I've only ever had one, I'd love to be in the room watching some guy with a bigger cock than mine fucking you hard. In my imagination he's using you so hard, you lose control on his huge cock and I get to see you completely out of control, just being natural in your horny state. You always maintain over things you control freak, that my fantasy is you losing it completely and acting naturally to being fucked by a cock that dominates you mind and body, but especially that mind of yours that craves control. I want to see you hornier than you can control."

My pussy was sloppy, swimming in his cum and my juices but if we had not just screwed I would have been soaking listening to what he wanted, the thing is, that loss of control is what I experienced with Svende but I could hardly tell Jake that since that had been me cheating 10 years previously. You might think "better late than never" to confess, my cliché would be, "let sleeping dogs lie."

"Jake, I've been thinking, I want to be sure that you actually want this if we are going to talk seriously about it, so listen, we'll make no decision tonight, I'm going to tell you that I know this has been your fantasy for a long time and finally, I think that I'm becoming OK with it, but I want both of us to think very hard about this all weekend.

I want us to talk on Monday night after work and see what each of us thinks. I know it sounds simple to you, but I'm going to write done pros & cons and I want you to do the same. Please take it seriously baby, I don't want this to ruin our marriage so we both need to go into it with eyes wide open. OK, so let's enjoy the weekend but give it a lot of thought and remember if you can't think of any cons, I'm going to think you haven't really tried, and if that's what I think then the answer is no, OK?"

Jake smiled at me, "Seems like you really are thinking about this seriously, great, I'll make out the pros and cons and we'll compare notes on Monday.

For me, I really thought hard, despite the fact that I'd twice taken chances on my marriage, the more recent of this was 10 years ago and I kind of got round to thinking, what a fucking idiot I was to do it, I genuinely love and always have loved Jake and divorce would be disastrous.

Yes it had been two nights a long way from home, 4 years apart in our 21-year marriage and three years before that so 24 years in all. But it was behind us, long behind us, I would never cheat again, I was certain of that. I was pretty sure that Jake had never cheated but he had the same sort of opportunities that I had, if he had, fuck it, I didn't want to know. I was only interested in our future.

What I came up with:

Pros: I might enjoy a big cock, you might enjoy watching,

Cons: If it's good might I want more and you might not? Will you regret it? Will you resent me afterwards especially if I enjoy it? Might you be humiliated if I enjoy it? I'm worried it may hurt our marriage; I need reassurance on that.

Roll on Monday.

Chapter 2 -- Decision Time

Monday dragged on but eventually we returned from work and had dinner then we got our Pros and Cons lists and compared.

Jakes list:

Pros: Realising my fantasy after so may years, Seeing you enjoying a big cock with no need to feel guilty, I want you to enjoy sex with another man. I anticipate one of you cons, I promise I will not be jealous.

Cons: Honestly this is something that I want, the only con would be if you fell in love with the guy and wanted to leave me. That is the only risk I see.

After we swapped lists and I started to have a discussion, Jake looked me in the eye and held up his hand. "Aoife, just stop talking for a minute, I know you like to control things but there is something very important that I need to tell you.

My fantasy is true enough, I do want to see you fuck a big cock, but it is a particular cock. You see for the last 10 years I've known about Svende."

It may seem dramatic but at this point I fainted, genuinely blacked out with shock, and fell back on the couch.

When I came around again, a concerned Jake looked at me and continued, "Aoife, I've known from the time it happened, I also know about that fucking little weasel Jeremy from your work but I know you quickly closed him down. I was glad, I never liked him.

Svende, well that was different, later I understood just how much he and his big cock meant to you. Did you know you mumble in your sleep? Not often but it pieced things together for me but of course I knew that you had slept with him, just not how much you enjoyed it until your nocturnal murmurings.

How do I know all this, well, I wasn't so much spying on you, I wanted to protect you. The point is you know my job and the Official Secrets Act, well, I know some people, I was always worried when you were away on your own, not that you would cheat but a husband's concern for your safety.

My darling, the reason I have suggested this fantasy so much since you met Svende, is that I wanted to find a way to let you know I knew about your two one-night stands without it being a confrontation.

You see it genuinely never bothered me, truthfully a prolonged affair definitely would have finished us, but you considered these two brief flings far from home that any normal husband would almost certainly never have discovered, to be over and done.

The fact that you clearly decided enough was enough despite the joy you took from Svende, well that comforted the few concerns I had at the time.

Honestly, my greatest concern was that it should never come between us, back then I feared that if I let you know what I knew back then, it may have been too big a hurdle for us to cross.

Look we are both educated people, we are not religiously inclined, as far as I'm concerned what we do is ok as long as it's ok between us. What we said 21 years ago in a marriage ceremony only matters in so far as we both decide it matters. Frankly its nobody else's fucking business.

I never let those two nights affect the way I have loved you these past 10 years just as I have for 24 years and I hope we have at least another 24 years ahead of us. The fact is though, genuinely I do want to see you fuck another man and please don't faint again darling, but that man is Svende, I've been able to find him through a Norwegian counterpart."

"Jake Hempenstall, you are so fucking amazing, you have kept that secret for 10 years and never let it affect how you treated me, and now you are telling me you have lined up Svende to fuck me again, when many husbands would be handing me divorce papers?"

"Well Aoife, it's a little more complicated than that, I knew within days exactly who he was, I never mention much about my job, indeed much of it I can't talk about or I risk jail. However, since then I have kept a quiet eye on Svende and he is now a married man in his early thirties, so of course there has been his wife to consider.

He remembers you very fondly by the way. Anyway, when I thought you were weakening towards my fantasy I contacted him for the first time since shortly after you "met" him, then it was the call from a husband saying I knew what had happened, that I didn't want to make anything of it at that time but I'd appreciate him keeping away from a married woman with children or I might not be as agreeable.

He has been a gentleman since and I remember you at 34 I really can't blame anyone who was smitten by you, you are still incredible. So now that you know my little subterfuge, do you want to know the details of how we get this done?"

"Oh Jake, maybe we should just let it lie, remain an old happy memory for me and I'm not sure what it is for you. It would be lovely to see Svende again but maybe we should leave out the sex?"

"Aoife, you know you are only one of four people involved, you, me, Svende and his wife Elin. Elin wants to fuck me whilst you enjoy her husband. If you call it off she will not be happy. I met them both two months ago to discuss this and she was quite insistent that you and Svende would have your time whilst both of us watched, then we will have a night together, Elin and I. She was not married at the time and obviously neither was Svende but she feels I am owed something and he doesn't disagree. Can you cope with that?"

Epilogue:

Jake & I met Svende and Elin, in Paris, what could be more romantic than the city of love? For us a quick train ride through Channel Tunnel on Eurostar, for them a flight from Oslo to Charles de Gaulle.

We treated ourselves to 5-star luxury at the George V just off the Champs Élysées, almost one thousand euros per night for bed and breakfast. The bedrooms were beautifully appointed, large jacuzzi baths suitable for an orgy.

I had my night once more with that huge cock and it was ok, no in fact, it was a little disappointing, nothing to do with our two-person audience, just that without the elicit touch of taking something you shouldn't, without the being the woman in her prime taking a young stud in his most virile period of early twenties, with the feeling now of it all being contrived, well, there was no magic.

My husband is a very clever man, as I mentioned Oxford educated and employed by my adopted country in a position of extreme trust, he had long known that the sex with Svende had been magnificent in my mind, but he had the awareness to understand that much of that was due not only to a giant cock but to the "naughty" circumstances in which it occurred.

What he was doing was giving me that same experience but in very different circumstances, separating the thrill of the sex from the mental thrill of something illicit, a little secret, supposedly only for me.

He was like a scientist with a mixed-up bowl in a lab, distilling it down to the basic elements, and there, exposed for exactly what they were, those elements were plain, ordinary, nothing magical.

My clever, beautiful, adoring, and adorable husband was showing me that my cheating, however briefly, was simply a woman and her 'man for the night' taking advantage of circumstances to make something that was neither pure nor sustainable.

Now in my mid-forties he was showing me that the most pure and magical thing possible was our wonderful marriage. Thankfully he didn't allow my brief selfish one-night-stands, to change his view that our marriage was worth more to him than a quick angry divorce.

I am one lucky woman to have a man in a million, a man who kept his love for me despite what I'd done. He knew they were one off opportunist betrayals that hadn't been repeated in 10 years, he felt the time was right to uncover his knowledge of it and in a way that would ensure that I'd never go down that destructive cheating route ever again.

He enjoyed Elin immensely he told me, of course I had no room for any show of jealousy. Was there any? Well full disclosure, it ate at my heart briefly but only very briefly, after all she was beautiful, a pale skinned blonde, doubtless of Viking stock, a tall striking woman who would turn heads wherever she went.

I understood fully what this weekend was about, lessening my faint grip on what I'd enjoyed through cheating and held as a fantasy, also partially Jake was evening up the score, both with me, but also Svende by fucking his wife.

On the Eurostar when we were coming down from our busy full weekend in Paris, I turned to my husband and told him I couldn't wait to get home and bed the real man of my dreams. That my fantasy had changed, it wasn't anything to do with sex, it was all about love and that I'd never loved him more, I couldn't possibly, I had absolutely no capacity to love any more than I love him.

I shed a few quiet tears of utter joy that this man loved me enough to do this for me, to free me from my past, to still want me for his future.

Writer's note: I am a believer in the forgiveness of the forgivable, early in my marriage, Mrs Plunger made a mistake that did not lead to a full betrayal but not far short. She was in a lot of pain for what she had done, unlike Aoife, but like Jake, I loved and continue to love her enough to get past it, forty years and more later, I have no regrets. She did a wrong thing, I did a right thing, we mixed them together and they balanced in our world. We moved on, I love her with all my heart, every bit, no reservations -- just like Jake.