All Comments on 'Sounds Good Ch. 02'

Another wonderful chapter. And I re read that three part series I recommended on the last post. It's definitely a different feel but also has some interesting aspects. I look forward to seeing how things progress. Again I love the descriptions of the audio components. I've noticed myself in consumption adult media the audio part is sometimes more important than the visual.

I'm also looking forward to seeing if anything progress in real for our main character here and am in truth a bit impatient to see something happen in that regard. Though just now an interesting concept comes to mind. After completing the story with each of the girls he is asked to meet with thst one so he can give his feedback. Ehhh may be too contrived.

I had two thoughts when I finished chapter one.

1 - Where was the sex?

2 - When is the next installment?

You've managed to weave three narratives together seamlessly - Cyrano's day-to-day struggles, the story of programming "The Apartment," and "The Apartment" itself. I'm very curious to see where it all goes, and perhaps, more importantly, I'm dying to see how Tristan's encounters in the game pay off as well!

Ok, you've got me hooked now.

After the first chapter i thought this was going to be purely about an immersive fantasy sex-game. I re-read it after reading a comment about the protagonist's real life issues, which i overlooked originally.

Now, after reading this chapter, despite you not divulging too many details regarding Dan's medical? problems, you have me hook, line and sinker.

The story is great, the characters (real and fantasy) are well written, but i'm intrigued about Dan's story, and whether this game is for him, and him alone..

Ol Tom nice Lotr reference and one of my favorite characters

I like that you're drawing out Dan's medical issues, instead of just smacking us with exposition. "Show, don't tell..."

The premise is incredibly imaginative and obviously draws from experience in digital reviews. I used to work in courseware development and did a lot of user-interface tests as well as target audience interviews. The tone and timber of the narrative and depth of immersion is spot on (and the sex flows organically with a digital flavor).

I am hooked on this story as much as I used to be hooked on Mario Brothers!

Doctors don't prescribe 'steroids', they would prescribe cortico-steroids, (a broad term for a category used mainly for anti-inflammation effect), or testosterone, (or one of several alternatives), for someone w- a low testosterone level, or for a variety of congenital disabilities. There are clinical reasons for someone to be prescribed one of the many growth hormones, other than testosterone, which fall in the category of 'steroids'.

My comment isn't about what precisely they prescribe, but more to making the doctor's dialogue more realistic. Much as the character is focused on realistic dialogue in 'The Apartment'.

Creating an interactive game is a specialized form of writing fiction; both Lit stories & interactive games can suffer from unrealistic dialogue.

I'm sure now that to apreac this you need to be more of a gamer than I am, it sounds right but feels wrong to me