All Comments on 'Sparking Ch. 01'

by Rubnesque

Sort by:
  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Good,but ...

I like the set up but why did you stop her before she matsurbated? Wht does she look like?

BillandMaryBillandMaryover 17 years ago
Good, but a little scattered.

Beef up the characters a bit. The story line is promising but sometimes motivations are vague; more about them could round out the characters.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous