All Comments on 'Special Delivery Sex'

I can suspend reality to a point for a good plot but this lacked that. Even the sex scenes were rushed to the point of being non existent. Slow down, expand on character development and plot, and you could have a really good story

Had a good storyline but fucked it up royally. Very lame dialogue EXTREMELY childish and rushed sex scenes and flat ending. Complete waste of time to read.

1 star

DragonRider55

Thank you all for your feedback. After I finish publishing my video scripts, I can consider creating some full stories again. It seems that's more what you're looking for.

It's ironic to me that when I tried to publish my video scripts on a video site, I exceeded the character limit, and even the trimmed and summarized versions had feedback that there was too much time spent leading up in the videos to get to the sex.

All I could think was that I’d kick my friends ass if she pulled that on me. Jane wasn’t too cool offering dinner in thanks for the ride and then trying to give her the bums rush out the door. I’ve read a couple other of your stories, and while I prefer slow burn stories, they were pretty sexy and I could see them as scenes in a movie. But if all we know about the characters happens in a short read, and you want it to be sexy, they probably shouldn’t be jerks. I’ll keep reading tho. Your style intrigues me

I see your point there, and I think that's some good insight. The invitation to come in probably shouldn't be an offer for something like dinner. And trying to get her out the door doesn't need to be so overt -- a low-key but unmistakable move to wrap up the visit.

I really am into this whole style of "Video script" on erotic format. It's a very interesting style that I kind of like and might even try myself. First few might not be great attempts but I can try. I'd like to see more tribbing included in these short clips.

Thank you for the encouragement. It's fun to be able to write these and focus very much on moving the plot along and describing the scene so that the reader can imagine it as a video.

And I'm glad you like the tribbing. I especially like that and have to remember to include other variations. :)