All Comments on 'Special Weapons and Tactics Ch. 05'

Oh good! Another round of rape as punishment for a sinful woman! Sure the angry, violent misogynists will continue to eat it up!

So what if she is mental? Does she have to continue to be punished? Man or woman who cheats on purpose should be punished. But this...? A woman who is nuttier than a granola bar does not need this kind of crap! Don't you think you might be going a little bit overboard buddy?

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

this story is so convoluted it's hardly understandable. get an editor

Started well but seriously gone downhill with every succeeding chapter. Just finish it & put all of us out of our misery. 2 **

and with serials, write it all, and post it daily, don't skip days. You jumped from full protected to taken without a link. 2*

it has my interest. It's pretty bad that the good guys know the bad guys want the wife and apparently are still able to get her. The story is disjointed and confusing at times, but it still seems to flow in a weird way, and I will keep reading. Thanks for the effort! I am enjoying it.

“John was now very actively participating” – God, I was SO hoping that was somehow still in her dream, and that if John DID wake up to find her fucking him would push her off!

Why in the hell is he getting involved with Susan? What about Jenny or Gigi? I’m sorry, I can’t quite remember who he was getting close to!

I wasn’t quite sure why Butler wanted his help to remain anonymous, my best guess is that it could be taken as an admission of responsibility, and could open him up to lawsuits.

90% possible is only “minimal”?

One minute they've chased off some bad cops, the next minute it's a week later and somehow she's been captured and raped by O'Donnell?

It almost seems like a nightmare sequence or, do you really hate the Susan character that much to put her through several stages of hellish torment? The more I think about it the more parts of this story feel like a bad soap opera sequence; where the character all of a sudden wakes up in a mental institution...

Otherwise, I'd have to agree with some other comments; story started out good but, now seems to be all over the place. Also, judging by the comments; I think you might be losing people with posting every couple of days.

How much dick has to be run through her vagina before you land the story on him somehow taking her back?! Which is where this is headed!

This was never any good and it just continues, chapter after stupid chapter. Is this going to be one of those 30 chapter snooze fests?

Chapter after chapter after chapter. Come asshole of LIT you know you love these LW stories. A 5 for effort and content and to help your score from you know who!!! In case you don't the asshole of LIT dear annony.

Wow...this is getting so "off base"...hard to read and hard to take...finding this to be getting boring and "been there done that already"...I am DONE...sorry I spent time reading the 5 chapters to get to this point...hope your next one is better.

One week later? One second later is too much more of this shit. I'd ask you to kill this story, but you have already. What a crock.

for effort and content and to help your score from you know who!!! In case you don't the asshole of LIT dear annony.

Keep writing!!!!

How did Susan end up in this predicament?

We need the next chapter, I bet someone is gonna get their ass kicked!!!

The constant rape of Susan is a stupid and fucking lazy way to make her a sympathetic character. If you have no other tool in your pea brain to redeem Susan you need to stop writing long shit and stick to one page strokers. You might have the talent for that, you sure can't write a long story worth a shit.

Enjoying it, feel bad for poor Susan though, she just keeps getting setback after setback in her getting well regime. I am sure you are going to tell us how they got her and what they intend to do. Also, some serious payback needs delivered.

This already left the land of believable when they left Sammy O in the swamp, but that is Ok, lots of fun.

Every time she takes a step forward...I know karma can be a bitch, but this is ridiculous! Now I just plain feel sorry for her.

Thought that I knew what was going on but now I find myself out in left field.

This chapter left me on the edge of my seat, which is just where you meant to leave us, I'm sure! I'm hoping for a quick posting of ch. 6 to give us--and John, and especially Susan!--some resolution. And, why do I think that Jack Carter (and Susan's unfortunately revealed cell number!) was integral to her abcuction? Perhaps JFO's people got to Jack while he was in jail. Anyway, I am anticipating a showdown between him and John, and between JFO and John and Frenchie and the clan. Good reading! A "5" from me! Ignore the naysayers and bring on the next chapter for those of us who are enjoying your story!

Enough with the rape and drug bullshit already. Like one anon said you seem to be a one trick pony. I know better now than to ever read your series again. Find another way to generate sympathy for Susan.

I said this seemed a long, long story...And I think I was right...each chapter shows new turns and twists and we can't see the end of it...3*

Generally, good stories don't just pile rape on rape. It shouldn't be used to just make someone seem evil. It shouldn't be used to just make someone seem a victim. It shouldn't be used repeatedly as some plot tool.

And having some crazy 'local nobility' think that in this day and age, he can just kidnap the wife of a local cop, after it's known he's sent crooked cops to 'bring her in', and it isn't going to bite him in the ass presupposes he is just an idiot. You've created a universe where cops disappear people in the swamps and others just shrug, where his hired cops acknowledge they are likely to just get shot by the local cajun tribe and it isn't unusual. It's not our world. It's the fantasy world you created. In that fantasy world, he has to know he's going to be crashed and burned rapidly by the highly militarized and aware allies of this woman. (That it's a fantasy world isn't an issue (it is fiction after all), as long as it is a consistent fantasy world.)

Seriously? Another rape?

Just rename her Job and have done with it. Give the poor character a break.

and I do not think that J F OD is going to like the way that he goes out!

Now Susan. Is kidnapped and we don't know how and raped again to boot. What was a pretty good story has turned into a unbelievable one. Why would the father of this Sam kid go after Susan with no reasonable cause. She is dead meat if she isn't rescued . Your story keeps changing and the separation between chapter is too long. But now you are losing it. I'm sure you'll bring us up to date. And how did he get to her since she is protected by police and family. ?

the only thing you forgot to mention in this chapter was the Dragons, or are they in the next Chapter?

This isn't Disney/Pixar so please try to put your stories in the correct section.

thanks

Very confused about how this tale is progressing.

Could write a better story than this....

Keep on writing, please!

1) Read more. Your writing isn't bad but you could use some more exposure to better writing to improve your own.

2) Repetition. You told us Rachael thought she needed another week of valium. Then you had Rachael tell Susan she needed another week of valium. Then you had SUSAN tell us she took another week of Valium. Then Rachael told John she was prescribing another week of valium. Then John told us she stopped taking valium after that first week. And Susan told us that she stopped taking valium after the first week.

This is one example. If you are telling the story from two perspectives (frequently a mistake) I don't need to hear about the events TWICE unless that other person either a) did something different and unseen, or b) had insights, emotions or perspectives which were wildly at odds with that of the original point of view.

To wit: If John tells me about how happy Susan seemed during the visit, I don't need her to tell me the exact same damn thing!

There is a lot of emotional wallowing mentioned repetitively.

That is part of what is making this tale drag.

3) Another thing making it drag is the deviations. You go on for half a page about a specific painting which barely furthers the plot.

Now, I don't mind this, but other readers might. And I thank you for some of the insights and little factoids I did not know before. However bear in mind that the little factoid you find fascinating may not seem so to other readers. I found it colorful but just barely.

4) WHAT THE VERY FUCK! Okay, you waste a half a page on that fucking painting. You give me a 50 word or more paragraph on the Nylon 66 (I liked it but I am a gun nut). You told us TWICE about the fucking guns used by the bad guys (see my second point about repetition)

These are nice flavor points but unnecessary. Verisimilitude. You have some idea what you are talking about.

Then you FUCKING KIDNAP SUSAN OFF STAGE IN A JUMP CUT?

As a literary device, I have used it and seen it used well (note I did not say **I** used it well). Here it is just jarring and gimmicky to end on a cliff hanger. Not to mention a suspension of disbelief. We have crack shot Cajun Snipers all over the place and yet somehow she was whisked out and raped without disturbing her in the slightest?

I did not establish this level of protection and how unlikely that scenario was. You did. So we are getting into Ninja Wizard territory from a reality perspective at least compared to the tone of the last 4 chapters.

5) You needed to cut 2 chapters from this. It is a bit bloated.

BUT I am somewhat enjoying it so far. This may seem like faint praise but from me it is not.

Okay, pretty jarring ending and I definitely need to continue. Poor Susan- this is like the perils of Pauline for her. As messed up as she is, she really needs a break one of these days. With her luck, John will dump her for stable Jenny in the end. I root otherwise.

Not a fan of the gratuitous rape, it is both in poor taste and a ham-fisted plot device.

The fuck is your major malfunction?

How many times are you going to have susan raped?

This is the loving wives section NOT the non consent.

1*

LOL With her condition it would take a long time for her to trust anyone enough to get her in a vulnerable position

It's a little to much literary licence.

How in the hell did they get her with guards. Makes no sense.

Unless a story is in the fantasy section then I think most stories should be believable even if you have to stretch your imagination but this story just went beyond being unbelievable to just being in fantasy land. I have lost interest ⭐️

God this author sucks