Spellman Ch. 24

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

Cece gave me a very nice kiss when I picked her up for the gym. When we got there and she went off to do her thing, Paul was eager for a report on how our date went.

"You love to gossip more than any of the high school girls I used to teach," I told him.

"It's not gossip, I just want to know how things are going between my two gym buddies."

"I think it went really well. We had fun, got to know each other better, and we're planning to go out again. Not sure what more could be expected out of it."

"Come on, man," Paul said. "That's all fine, but how do you feel about how things are going? Are there any sparks flying? Is this just something that's nice to be doing for now, or do you actually think there's something there with her?"

I took a few moments to think through his question. "I think there's something there, but it's hard to know for sure. Obviously she's gorgeous, and I've had a lot of fun the times we've been out. I'm really enjoying getting to know her more. She's a very interesting person, but I get the feeling that I'm still just barely scratching the surface of who she is. Sometimes I can feel her sort of dancing around certain things. I don't know if it's because it's still too early, or if she's not really feeling things with me, or what, but I can tell she still has some walls up. And, well..." I said, trailing off.

"And what?"

"Last night, when I dropped her off, I walked her to the door and we kissed."

"And? What? It wasn't good?" Paul asked.

I shook my head. "No, it was great. Super hot, incredible connection."

"So then what's the problem?"

"I tried to slid my hands down a bit and she immediately stopped and stepped back."

"I see," Paul said, nodding slowly. "You haven't talked to her about it?"

"No, I haven't had the chance, but even if I did I'm not sure what I'd say to her about it. I don't even know if it's something to be worried about or not. It's not like she was going to invite me in to keep things going in the house she shares with her sick dad. Maybe she just didn't want to escalate too much without being able to do anything about it."

"Maybe. But it seems like you're worried it might be more than that."

"I don't know. Like I said, it just feels like she still has some walls up. It was only our second date, though. We're not even a couple or anything yet."

"Do you think that you're heading that way?"

"I think so," I said, nodding. "As long as things keep progressing the way they have, I could definitely see Cece as my girlfriend."

"That's good. I'm sorry if I'm being pushy. I just want you to be happy, man. I think you two can be good together."

"You just want a couple to play tennis with," I said with a smirk.

"That too," he said.

Cece kissed me again when we pulled up to her house, her face lingering close to mine even after our lips parted ways. "Have a good day at work, Ryan," she said.

"You too, Cece."

She was still close enough to kiss me without even moving her head, so she did so one more time before leaving. Usually she'd walk straight to the door without a second glance, but this time she looked back over her shoulder to see if I was watching her, which I was. She blew me another kiss before heading inside.

I was still a little confused about where things stood with us. I supposed that was largely my fault. Moments like that made me feel like we were already a couple. Maybe her hesitancy to let down all of her walls just had to do with the fact that I'd yet to take that step with her. She'd mentioned more than once that she was a very traditional girl in a lot of ways. That could mean a lot of different things, and it was probably something we needed to talk about, but it would make a lot of sense if that meant she wanted to wait until we were "official" before taking things too far.

A conversation for another day. I drove to Spellman, mentally preparing myself for another day of work. Now that we were into the second week of school, the chaos of the morning parking lot had subsided slightly as everyone got used to the process.

The morning passed by quickly and before I knew it the kids were off to their weekly Physical Education class. I hadn't really talked much with Mr. Thomas, the P.E. teacher, yet. When I dropped my class off at the field he waved me down. He sent the kids off to go grab a bunch of soccer balls out of the big, red mesh bag that was lying in the grass. Mr. Thomas's hairline was rapidly receding, and while his t-shirt may have fit him when he bought it, that was probably two sizes ago.

I didn't really want to talk to the guy, but that was probably unfair. Both Melissa and Tori had warned me about him, but they had their own reasons for keeping their distance that didn't really apply to me. It bothered me slightly that he had the same last name as my favorite teacher from high school, but that wasn't his fault.

He stuck out his hand to shake, and I took it. "Devin Thomas. Nice to finally get to meet you." His palms were sweaty, and I immediately wished I had a towel or something to wipe my hands on.

At least he didn't try to prove how tough he was by squeezing my hand. I hated that. "Ryan Dillon," I said.

"I hear you used to play some football."

I nodded. "I did. I played over at Eastwood and then at Stanford."

"Nice. Elway played at Stanford. I'm a Broncos fan, originally from Colorado."

"He's one of the best to ever do it," I said. "I've been a Chargers fan my whole life, but it was hard not to root for Elway and the Broncos when they won those Super Bowls. I loved watching him play."

"I watched The Drive live on TV. Still one of the best sports moments of my life. You ever get to meet him?"

"A couple times. He'd come watch our practices every once in a while."

Devin shook his head. "Man, I'd give my left nut to meet him. At least I would if my ex-wife hadn't already taken it in the divorce," he said, giving me a playful elbow.

"Sounds painful."

"Eh, worth it to be rid of the bitch. Now I'm flying free. Hey, what are you doing Saturday? Broncos have a preseason game. We could grab some beers, kick back, and watch some football. What do you say?"

"I've got plans already, but maybe another time," I said. "I need to go print some things while you've got my class. I'll be back soon. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, I guess I need to go get those gremlins organized. We'll figure out another time to get those beers."

I really did need to print out some things, so I hurried over to the office to get that done. Lydia, one of the other new teachers, was just finishing up at the copier. We exchanged some quick pleasantries before she left. I printed out the papers I needed, took them back to my classroom, and soon it was time to retrieve my kids from P.E. Devin tried to nail me down for another time we could drink and watch football, but I told him I'd have to look at my calendar.

Once again Tori didn't come over to my classroom during lunch, and neither did Melissa, but Emma did. We ate our food and chatted a bit about our weeks, and she only flirted a little bit.

The last part of the school day after lunch dragged slightly, but I made it through. I let the kids have independent reading time for the last half hour, which allowed for a nice, quiet end to the day. Since I didn't have any pressing matters to deal with, I used the time to finish up Never Let Me Go. It was an interesting book--beautiful yet horrifying, tragic but still full of love--a truly compelling take on humanity and mortality.

When the final bell rang I led my students out of the classroom to their various points of departure, whether to the bus line, car line, or after-school programs. I did my duty shepherding children into their cars, and when it was all over I made my way back to my classroom to grab my stuff. As I was locking up I was surprised to find Riley leaving at the same time. She was usually gone by now.

"Hey, Riley," I said. "What are you still doing here?"

"Just had to wrap up a couple things, and it's easier to do it here than at my apartment." She glanced at the book in my hand. "What are you reading?"

"Never Let Me Go. I just finished it, actually."

"Oh, I've heard of that one. Was it good?"

I nodded. "It was. Pretty sad, though."

"I don't mind that. Maybe I'll see if I can grab it at the library."

"Here," I said, handing the book to her. "Just use mine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course. Happy to lend it to you."

Riley smiled, a rare occurrence over the past week or so. "Thanks, Ryan. Maybe we can chat about it once I'm done."

"That sounds like fun. Well, I'm taking off. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow, Ryan. Thanks again for the book."

"My pleasure."

I took my leave, walking to my car and heading home for the day. Cece texted me just before dinner, letting me know that Friday worked for her to go see Beth's band play, if I still wanted to go. I told her that I did, and that I was excited to take her.

Thursday, August 15th, 2013

Thursday played out much like Wednesday had, with one big difference. When Melissa and Emma came to have lunch in my classroom, Tori came too. She sat down and pulled out her lunch like nothing was out of the ordinary. I figured this wasn't the time or the place to talk about what had happened between us on Sunday, so I just let it go.

"Hey Ryan," Melissa said, "do you want to go to the Padres game on Saturday?"

"Sure, that sounds like fun. Should I see if Paul should get us tickets again? Who else is going?"

Melissa shook her head. "No, just us. I already got the tickets."

"Oh, cool. What would you have done if I already had plans for Saturday?" I asked.

"Made T come with me."

Tori scoffed. "Yeah, right. Thanks for taking the bullet for me on that one, Ryan."

"No problem at all," I said. "If it's just me and Melissa then we can actually talk about baseball. What time's the game?"

"I think it starts at 5:30, but I'll double check and let you know. Want to just drive over with me?"

"Yeah, that works. We can just grab something to eat at the ballpark if that works for you."

"Sure, sounds good. I'm always up for putting a nice, big sausage in my mouth," she said, giving me a wink. Tori and Emma both started laughing.

"I have noticed that about you."

The lunch bell rang and we all left to go pick up our students. The rest of the day went by quickly. I ended the school day by having the tables compete in some math challenges, which went over well. The kids were competitive but no one seemed to be a poor sport about it. Table Four ended up winning when Rosemary beat out Dean on the final question. The whole class, and especially her tablemates, congratulated her. She seemed happy with the attention, which was good progress for the usually shy girl.

Once afternoon dismissal was over and the car line was cleared, I headed back to my classroom. Once again I ran into Riley.

"Hey, Ryan," she said. "I started that book. I like it a lot so far. Thanks again for lending it to me."

"It's my pleasure. Feel free to return the favor. We can have our own little book club."

Her face lit up as she smiled. "That might be fun. I'll try to think of something to give you. Are you reading anything else right now?"

"I picked up a few others from the used bookstore but I haven't decided which one to start yet."

"Well, if you can wait a day, I'll try to bring something for you tomorrow."

"I think I can do that. Thanks, I'm looking forward to it."

We parted ways and I headed home for the evening. I spent a bit of time before dinner working on the next big assignment the students would have for their science curriculum: making models of the various planets in our solar system.

After dinner I called Kevin to see if he had some time to play some Call of Duty or Madden or something.

"What's up, broseph," he said when he answered the phone. "I'm glad you called, I've been meaning to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Hold on, let me go into the other room." I heard Sara talking in the background. "No, we need to discuss manly issues, stay on the couch and watch your show, babe. I'll be back in a few," he said to his girlfriend. "Sorry about that."

"All good. What's up?"

"I bought it," he said, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. It took me a second to realize what he meant, but once I did I decided to play dumb.

"Really? I didn't think the new Madden came out for another couple weeks."

"Dumbass. Not Madden. The ring. I bought an engagement ring for Sara."

"Hell yeah, way to go man. How much did that set you back?" I asked my best friend.

He let out a long breath. "A whole hell of a lot. I don't know why shiny rocks need to be so expensive."

"No kidding. So what's the plan for asking her?"

"That's why I wanted to talk to you. I was thinking about throwing her a nice party for her birthday, and then asking her then. I wanted to see if you could make it up for the party."

I knew Sara's birthday was in September, but I couldn't remember exactly when. "What day is Sara's birthday again?"

"It's on the 22nd, but that's a Sunday, so I'm planning to do the party on the 21st. Do you think you could make it up?"

"Yeah man, I'll be there. I'll see if I can find a cheap flight for that Saturday morning. Could I just crash at your place on Saturday night?"

"You could, but I'm hoping Sara might be in a...celebratory mood after the party, so maybe try to find somewhere else first?"

I laughed. "Yeah, sure. Probably a good idea. I guess I can ask Marco or Nate. Is the party a surprise or does Sara know about it?"

"Nah, not a surprise party."

"Okay, but is it a surprise that I'm going to come?"

"You're not special enough to be a surprise."

"Ouch. My pride," I said.

"You'll live. Anyways, that's all I needed to talk to you about. What did you need, bro?"

"Just wanted to see if you had time to play some CoD or Madden."

"Shit, sorry man, but I just agreed to watch a movie with Sara."

"All good. I can just play by myself."

Kevin snorted. "Yeah you can."

"Fuck you," I said, laughing. "What movie are you watching?"

"I don't know, silver something or other. Bradley Cooper is in it, Sara thinks he's hot."

"I saw that one with Amanda in the theater. It's not bad. Plus Jennifer Lawrence is in it, she's hot, so you've got that going for you."

"Nice. All right, I'll talk to you later, dude. Let me know when you figure out your plan for getting up here. I can pick you up at the airport if you need it."

"Cool, I'll let you know. Later, man. Say hey to Sara for me."

"Will do," he said before hanging up.

I did end up playing by myself (on the PlayStation) for a while, but I'd gotten pretty rusty at my shooter skills, so Call of Duty was mostly just frustrating as I was fragged repeatedly. I grabbed my phone and sent Cece an invitation to a new game of Words with Friends. While I waited for her to respond, I grabbed another poetry book at random off my shelf. It was a collection of W.H. Auden's poems. Flipping through the pages, I picked one out and began reading.

As I walked out one evening,

Walking down Bristol Street,

The crowds upon the pavement

Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river

I heard a lover sing

Under an arch of the railway:

'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you

Till China and Africa meet,

And the river jumps over the mountain

And the salmon sing in the street,

Auden wasn't my favorite poet, but I could enjoy his writing. As I Walked Out One Evening wasn't really speaking to me tonight, though. I flipped to another page and found one more to my liking.

Lay your sleeping head, my love,

Human on my faithless arm;

Time and fevers burn away

Individual beauty from

Thoughtful children, and the grave

Proves the child ephemeral:

But in my arms till break of day

Let the living creature lie,

Mortal, guilty, but to me

The entirely beautiful.

Soul and body have no bounds:

To lovers as they lie upon

Her tolerant enchanted slope

In their ordinary swoon,

Grave the vision Venus sends

Of supernatural sympathy,

Universal love and hope;

While an abstract insight wakes

Among the glaciers and the rocks

The hermit's carnal ecstasy.

Certainty, fidelity

On the stroke of midnight pass

Like vibrations of a bell,

And fashionable madmen raise

Their pedantic boring cry:

Every farthing of the cost,

All the dreaded cards foretell,

Shall be paid, but from this night

Not a whisper, not a thought,

Not a kiss nor look be lost.

Beauty, midnight, vision dies:

Let the winds of dawn that blow

Softly round your dreaming head

Such a day of welcome show

Eye and knocking heart may bless,

Find the mortal world enough;

Noons of dryness find you fed

By the involuntary powers,

Nights of insult let you pass

Watched by every human love.

This one, Lullaby, definitely worked for me. The scheme was much more interesting and complex, and I found myself captivated by the images Auden was conjuring, as the narrator gazed upon his sleeping love. Once more I found myself longing for that closeness with someone.

My phone vibrated with Cece's first move in our new game of Words with Friends, 'Pain.' I put the book down and looked at my letters, settling on 'Warns', which turned her 'Pain' into 'Pains' and gave me a double-word score for both words.

I ended up running away with the game, but Cece got her revenge in the next one. Before starting the rubber match, I got myself ready for bed. The third game was close, but she ended up edging me out by just four points. When we finished, she sent me a text.

You're so good at this, it's fun playing with you.

Says the girl who just beat me.

I'm pretty sure you're still ahead by a few games overall.

Doesn't matter. It's just fun playing with you.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow night. I assume it's pretty casual?

Yeah, it's just a little dive bar.

And where are you taking me for dinner? she asked.

I was actually thinking that I'd like to cook for you. The band doesn't start until nine. Maybe you could come over here around seven and I'll make us some dinner, then we can head over to the bar where they're playing?

That sounds great. Send me your address. What are you making?

I haven't decided yet. Any requests?

No, surprise me. I'm not picky.

As you wish.

She sent me another picture of herself in bed. Her hair was back in a ponytail, and she was making a kissy face at the camera.

I'm falling asleep. I'll see you tomorrow, Chef Ryan.

Goodnight, Cece.

Friday, August 16th, 2013

I woke to a text from Cece letting me know that she wouldn't be able to make it to the gym today, but that we were still on for tonight. She didn't say why, but I assumed it had something to do with her dad.

Once again the day dragged by as I anticipated my date with Cece. Emma, Melissa, and Tori all joined me again for lunch, but I still wasn't able to have any real talk with Tori about what was going on. Maybe I'd have a chance over the weekend.