Spellman Ch. 26

Saturday, August 17th, 2013

Beth drove through Taco Bell on the way back to my apartment so I could buy her dinner. I had eaten two hot dogs at the game, but I still ended up buying myself some tacos. When in Rome. While we drove, I filled her in on what had happened with Melissa.

I invited her to come up and have a drink while we ate our food. After grabbing a couple of beers from the fridge, I sat down at the table. Just as I was unwrapping my food, my phone started buzzing. I glanced at the screen. Melissa was calling. I quickly grabbed my phone and answered the call.

"Melissa, hey," I said. Beth looked over at me and raised her eyebrows. I stood up from the table and walked into my room.

"Ryan, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I wasn't even thinking. Where are you?" She sounded frantic, like she was almost out of breath.

"Beth came and picked me up." Beth had also followed me into my room, wanting to eavesdrop on my conversation with Melissa. I shooed her away, but she just flopped herself down on my bed.

"I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to leave you without a way home. I just lost my head for a bit."

"It's fine, I made it home okay. Look, Melissa, I'm sorry for-"

"No, please don't apologize," she said, interrupting me. She took a deep breath before continuing. "You didn't do anything wrong, Ryan. Sure, the timing kind of sucked, but that's not really your fault either. I just...it was stupid of me. I knew the score. You gave me multiple chances to tell you I wanted something more before tonight, and I didn't take them. I can't blame you for moving on. It sucks, and I wish it hadn't happened, but I can't blame you." I could hear her sniffling.

"Melissa, I really like you. I don't want this to affect our friendship, but I understand if you need some distance." My chest tightened at the thought of her stepping back like that, but if she thought it was for the best then I couldn't blame her.

"No, no. I'm fine. I swear. I just got a little out of my head tonight. We're good, Ryan. I promise."

"Are you sure?" I asked. There was a beep from my phone. Cece was calling.

"I'm sure. I'm happy for you, Ryan. I really am. I'm sad for me, but I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, Melissa. Look, can I call you back? Cece is calling and-"

"I'll just talk to you on Monday. Bye." She hung up before I could respond.

I switched the call over to Cece. "Hey. Sorry, I was going to text you when I got home, but I had a little misadventure trying to get here."

"Did it have something to do with that kiss with Melissa?" my girlfriend asked. I couldn't tell from her tone if she was upset or not. I also had no idea how she even knew about that.

"Uhh, yes, actually," I said. "Not that I was trying to hide what happened but, um, how do you know about that?"

"They showed the kiss cam of you and Melissa on TV. Dad and I were watching while we had dinner."

"Cece, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any-"

She started laughing. "It's fine, Ryan. I could tell you were trying to not do anything. They even made fun of you a bit for it on the broadcast."

"They did?"

"Yeah, one announcer said 'If you have the opportunity to kiss a girl that pretty, you take it' and the other said 'Well, maybe it was his sister?' It was pretty funny, actually. A little awkward with my dad, though. I saw you pop up on the TV and I said 'Look! That's Ryan! That's my boyfriend!' and then the next thing I knew Melissa was kissing you."

I sat down on my bed next to Beth, trying to understand how Cece could be so casual about this. Amanda would have absolutely lost her mind if something like this had happened while we were together. "Still, I know this probably isn't a good look for me. We just became official today and the next thing you know I'm kissing another girl on live television."

"As long as it was limited to what I saw on TV, then I don't think it's a big deal."

"It was," I said. "She left right after that. I'm still sorry, though. It wasn't a great position for me to be in."

"And why's that?" Cece asked, suddenly sounding more guarded.

I took a deep breath in through my nose, then exhaled. "I told you that Melissa and I were just friends and coworkers, which is true now. But it wasn't always true. We've..." I struggled for the right phrasing. "...hooked up before, and I knew that she was still interested. I didn't have a chance to tell her that I had asked you to be my girlfriend before the kiss happened."

My girlfriend was silent on the other side of the line, and I wished we could be having this conversation in person so I could see how she was taking my words. Discussing your sexual history with a new partner was a topic that could be riddled with landmines, and I really didn't want to do it for the first time over the phone. I was about to ask if she was still there when she finally spoke up.

"Okay," she said.

"Okay? That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it. I guess I never really thought about the fact that you could have been hooking up with other girls since we met, but it was none of my business, really. We weren't exclusive before today. As long as all that has stopped-"

"It has, I promise," I said.

"Then we're fine. I'll be honest, I'm not thrilled about it, but I get it. It's 2013, and you're a guy in your twenties. You're smart and fun and hot. You were always going to have opportunities. I know that I'm the outlier when it comes to my attitude about casual sex."

"I didn't want to have this conversation on the phone like this, but I guess it was necessary sooner than I thought. Your experience with Liam made you a bit more hesitant with sex. I guess my breakup with Amanda sort of sent me in the opposite direction. But I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't what I really wanted. That casual stuff just isn't fulfilling to me in the same way that a relationship is. I want to be with you, even taking the physical side of things slowly, more than I want to be having casual sex with other people." My heart was racing. This truly was not a fun conversation to be having just hours into our relationship.

"Thank you. That does make me feel a bit better," Cece said. "There are probably a few more things we should talk about, but you're right, it's better to do it in person."

"Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?"

"Let's just wait until Monday. I always do lunch with my dad on Sundays."

"Okay. I just...you're sure we're fine? I mean it, Cece, I'm serious about making this work with you." I hated feeling like I was already on the back foot with things now, and the ease with which Cece seemed to be handling this was just so foreign to my experience of relationships. I had always stepped carefully around things that might cause Amanda to feel jealous.

"I'm sure. We do need to talk more, but it's not urgent. It can wait until Monday. I do really look forward to seeing you, though, and not just to finish this conversation."

"All right. I'll see you Monday, then."

"Text me tomorrow, boyfriend," she said, the playfulness returning to her voice.

"I will. Goodnight, gorgeous. Sweet dreams."

I hung up the phone and sighed as I flopped backwards onto the bed.

"So, that didn't sound like she dumped your ass," Beth said. She rolled over to lie on her stomach and rested her chin on my chest.

"She did not. She was...surprisingly cool about everything. Amanda would have been freaking out. I'm not sure how to feel about it, to be honest. Hopefully it means that Cece is just a calm and reasonable person in general, but it could mean that she isn't too worked up about things with me."

"Dude, it sounds like Amanda fucked you up even more than I thought. Instead of going nuts, your girlfriend is chill, and your reaction is to worry about it?"

I frowned. "It does sound pretty ridiculous when you put it like that."

"Because it is. Even if you had done something awful, a normal, reasonable person waits until they have all of the info before flipping out. It doesn't sound like your ex was very reasonable, otherwise she wouldn't be your ex, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Just listen to your fabulous little sister about everything, and your love life will be perfect," Beth said with a smile.

"You're really leaning into that little sister thing, aren't you?"

She shrugged. "It's fun. Plus, it means I'm putting a permanent claim on being a part of your life. I'm not letting you get away from me for years again."

"That works. But if you're my little sister, then that means I get to do this." I leaned forward and grabbed Beth in a headlock, then started to give her a noogie. She attempted to squirm away, but I reached under her arm and started to tickle her.

"Stop!" she screeched, writhing around as she tried to escape. "Motherfucker, stop tickling me or I'm going to pee in your bed!"

That got me to release her. I sat up, laughing while Beth tried to catch her breath. Then she gave me a...slightly more forceful than necessary love-tap to the balls, and I was the one trying to catch my breath while she laughed. I had forgotten that Beth had two actual brothers, and was well-versed in the art of sibling combat.

"Truce," I groaned. I reached out with one hand to shake on it, using the other to protect my delicate parts.

She took my hand and shook. "Truce," she said. "Okay, well now that you're home safe and sound and it doesn't look like your hot, new girlfriend is going to dump your sorry ass, I guess my work is done here."

"Thanks again, Beth. You were a real lifesaver tonight." I gave her a hug.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get used to it. I'm not always going to be free to come save you on a Saturday night. Usually I've got better things to be doing."

"I love you too, little sister."

"Shut up."

Sunday, August 18th, 2013

After breakfast I went for a run, more for the chance to clear my head than any real desire for extensive cardio. I let myself get into a rhythm, focusing on nothing except for my breathing and the pace of my stride. Apparently it worked too well, because by the time I stopped for a break I had gone several miles farther than I'd planned, which meant that when I finally made it back to my apartment I was pretty beat. I took a nice, long shower before changing into some comfortable clothes and collapsing onto my couch.

I had texted Cece when I woke up, and she finally texted back around ten, asking how my run was and what my plans were for the rest of the day.

Think I'm probably just going to lie here and read for most of the day. Need to make sure I have everything ready for the upcoming week of school, but I think I'm pretty much set there. How about you?

Cleaning up around the house, doing meal prep for the week. One of Dad's old golf buddies is coming over for dinner, so I'll have to play hostess for that. At least now I have a good excuse for when he tries to set me up with one of his grandsons.

See, being my girlfriend is already providing great benefits.

It's not quite a 401k, but I'll take it, she texted, along with a silly face emoji.

What time is your dinner?

They're old. They eat dinner at 5:30. Why? she asked.

I know you said we could wait until tomorrow, but do you want to come over and watch a movie or something after your dinner?

A little Netflix and chill, huh?

I mean...I'm not opposed, but I did actually mean watch a movie. I just want to spend some more time with you.

Sure, that sounds nice. I'll come over around seven?

Perfect.

I spent a few hours reading before making myself a grilled ham and cheese sandwich for lunch, then made a quick trip to the grocery store to grab some popcorn and a few things for lunches this week. As I was driving home, I received a call from my mother.

"Hello, Mother. How are you?"

"What's this I hear about you having a girlfriend?" she asked without any preamble.

"Where did you hear that?"

"From Stephanie, of course. She spoke with Beth this morning, who told her that you and your new girlfriend came to see her band play on Friday night. You can imagine how embarrassing it was for me to not have any idea what Stephanie was talking about when she asked me for details."

"I'm sorry, Mother. It only became official yesterday. I didn't realize how quickly it would get through the grapevine. I was planning on telling you soon, though, especially since she works with you at Eastwood."

"She does? Who is it?"

"Her name's Claire Cleary, but she goes by Cece."

"I don't know of a Miss Cleary at the school. The new girl's name is Jordan Weir."

"She's a nurse, but she's just working there part time," I said.

Mother was quiet for a moment. "Oh! Red hair, right?"

"That's right."

"I know who you mean, then. She's very pretty."

"She is," I agreed.

"You might want to warn the girl that she might get cornered at the school this week."

"Mother, please." I really didn't need my mother scaring Cece off.

"Oh, calm down. It won't be bad. I just want to introduce myself."

I sighed. "I guess that's fine. She was thinking about taking the initiative and introducing herself to you anyways."

"Did you know her from high school?"

"No, I met her at the gym a few weeks ago."

"I see. That's...quick. She must be a special girl." I could hear the skepticism in my mother's voice.

"I think she is. It might be a little fast, yeah, but we've been on a few dates already and it felt like the right step. I don't really like the casual dating thing anyways."

"Well, I look forward to meeting her. Maybe you can bring her over for dinner sometime. I still have barely seen you since you've moved back."

"I'm sorry, Mother. You know how it is with the start of the school year."

"I certainly do. Well, talk to your new girlfriend and see what she thinks."

"I will, Mother. How are things going over there?"

"Oh, they're fine. Like you said, the start of the school year is always busy, but when you've been doing this as long as I have it's just part of the rhythm of life."

"And things are still good with Maria?" I asked. I still hadn't really had a chance to talk with my mother in any real detail about how that whole thing had come about.

"Yes, everything is wonderful."

"Are you still considered a cougar in a lesbian relationship, or do they have a different term for that?"

Mother laughed long and hard at that, and I couldn't help but smile. She seemed much more relaxed than I'd seen since...I didn't even know when. "I think it's still cougar, but I'm still not very well-versed in the all of that. Besides, it's not like I hunted her down. She asked me out first."

I figured that now was as good a time as any to ask some questions. "Is this your first time being with another woman? I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. Not that it bothers me, it's just, you know, you're my mother, and I had a pretty set idea of who you were."

"It's my first time being in a relationship with another woman, yes," she answered, "but I think I've always been bisexual. I certainly...experimented while I was in college."

"I don't think I need to hear about that," I said.

"Oh, grow up, Ryan. You know I've had sex at least once, why's it so strange to know I've done it many, many more times than that."

"I surrender." She laughed at me. "Well, I'm happy for you, Mother. You seem happier than I can remember seeing you in a long time."

"Thank you, Ryan. I am happy. Not only because of Maria, though. I'm glad to have you close by again. I've missed you quite a lot since you left for school. I'm sorry that your father and I made it so hard for you to feel comfortable coming back."

I was surprised to feel some moisture building up in my eyes. "I missed you too, Mother. I'm sorry for staying away."

"Stop that, it wasn't your fault, and it doesn't matter anymore. You're here now, and we can make the most of it. Talk to your girlfriend about coming over for dinner."

"I will."

"Good. I love you, Ryan. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday."

"I love you too, Mother."

We hung up just as I pulled back into the parking lot at my apartment. When I got inside I put away my groceries and then settled in to read a bit more before making myself dinner at six-thirty. Cece texted to let me know she was on her way just as I was finishing up eating, so I made sure to spend a few minutes tidying up just so everything looked nice.

Cece knocked on my door a little after seven. She flashed her brilliant smile at me when I opened the door and held up a DVD case and a bottle of red wine. "The party's here," she said, smirking.

I leaned down to kiss her and then stepped aside so she could come in. "Come on in. I'm glad you could make it tonight." Cece was dressed casually, in a gray Sacred Heart University t-shirt and navy cotton shorts, but she still looked incredible. "Here, let me take that," I said, taking the wine from her. I made my way into the kitchen to grab a wine opener and a couple of glasses for us.

"Thanks for inviting me over. It was going to be a pretty boring night," she said.

I poured the wine and brought her a glass, and we clinked them together. "Cheers. I hope you aren't bored over here. What movie did you bring?"

She held the DVD case up over her face and then tilted it to the side, revealing her smiling face. "That Thing You Do. It's one of my favorites."

"I don't think I've ever seen it. What's it about?"

"It's about these friends who form a band in the 60s. It's great. Tom Hanks wrote and directed it, and it has Liv Tyler, so at the very least you have a pretty face to stare at."

I pulled her close and gave her a kiss. "I already had that, but I guess another one couldn't hurt. Do you want some popcorn with our movie?"

"Sure, that sounds good. Should I set up the movie?" she asked.

"Yeah, the remotes should be on the coffee table. I use my PlayStation as a DVD player."

I microwaved a bag of popcorn and dumped it into a big bowl while Cece set up the movie. When I sat down on the right side of the couch, Cece plopped herself down and then snuggled up next to me. I put my arm around her. Having her here with me like this just felt right. This was exactly the sort of thing I had been missing. The quiet, comfortable moments of simply sharing a space with someone else. Not that I didn't want or expect some excitement as well, because I certainly did, but it didn't have to be like that all of the time. We'd go out on fun dates, and hopefully soon we'd be having some fireworks in the bedroom as well, but moments like these were the sort of things you built a real relationship on.

The movie started, and it was immediately obvious that Cece had probably watched this a million times. It was super cute to watch her quietly sing along to all of the songs, or mouth a funny one-liner. She would often glance up at me to make sure I was properly appreciating the best moments. Sharing something you love with another person was a good test of compatibility—even if they don't love it as much as you do, it can help reveal if you have similar tastes, or if they can be good sports even about things that aren't exactly their cup of tea.

Luckily, I really did enjoy the movie, and Cece was pleased when I told her so. She gave me a kiss, lingering for several seconds. "I'm glad you liked it," she said, once her lips finally left mine. She stretched, her shirt pulling tight against her chest, before grabbing her wine glass and finishing it off. Then she put it down and turned to me. "So, I've been doing a lot of thinking today."

Given her general mood tonight, I wasn't too worried, but that was still a phrase that put me on alert. I didn't say anything, but rather nodded for her to continue.