Spellman Ch. 27

Monday, August 19th, 2013

"Good morning," Cece said as she slid into the passenger seat of my car and leaned over the center console to give me a kiss.

"Morning, babe."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, I'm babe now, am I?"

"If you want," I said, shrugging. "It just slipped out. I can come up with something else if you don't like babe." I shifted into drive and started off towards the gym.

"No, babe is good. I was just surprised. I think that's the first time you've done the pet name thing. It's cute, I like it."

"Are you sure? I can always come up with something more...unique."

"Oh really?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "Like what?"

I pursed my lips and made like I was thinking hard on the question for a few moments. "How about...snuggle muffin?"

Her laughter filled the car. "Seriously, Ryan? Snuggle muffin?"

"No good? Okay, how about cutesypoo?"

"You're getting worse!" she said, laughing even harder.

"Honeybun? Gumdrop? Doodlebutt?"

"Stop, my abs are going to get sore from laughing too hard!" She playfully swatted my arm. "I think we're good with 'babe' for now."

"For now? Okay, I'll keep workshopping."

"I didn't realize that you were such a dork," my girlfriend said.

"Oh no, my secret's out."

"It's cute." She reached over and put her hand on my thigh and gave it a light squeeze. "You're cute."

"Cute? Argh!" I clutched at my heart like I was wounded.

She smacked me again. "You are cute. But you're also handsome, and sexy. They aren't mutually exclusive."

"You think I'm sexy, huh?" I waggled my eyebrows at her.

"Duh. Do you think I'm sexy?" she asked.

"Of course I do. You're sexy, beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking," I said, then I gave her a wink. "And cute."

She rewarded my answer with a kiss on the cheek.

Once we parked at the gym and started walking towards the entrance, Cece was extra affectionate. She slipped her hand into mine, lacing our fingers together, and was pressed up against my side as we made our way over to Paul.

"Well don't you two look very couple-y this morning," he said, grinning like an idiot.

"I assume he told you," Cece said to Paul.

"Told me what?" he asked.

"We're official now."

Paul fist pumped and then raised his hand to give me a high five. "Yes! Finally. I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks," we both said in unison.

"Now that you're together, you can't say no to coming over to our house for dinner sometime."

I laughed. "Sure, we'll figure something out."

"Excellent. Jackie is going to be thrilled."

We went inside to do our workouts, and Paul immediately started grilling me for details about how everything had gone down, so I told him about our date on Friday, our conversation and me asking her out on Saturday, and even about the drama with Melissa kissing me at the baseball game. He reiterated how happy he was that Cece and I were officially together, and how excited he was for us to do couples stuff with him and Jackie. I still had plenty of things I wanted to do with just me and Cece, but it would probably be fun to hang out with the two of them sometimes. Paul had been a good friend to me since I'd been here, and Jackie seemed like a great woman.

After we finished working out, we hit the showers and I changed to get ready for work. I said goodbye to Paul, promising that Cece and I would find a night that worked for us to join him and Jackie for dinner. When I went to meet my girlfriend in the lobby, she was in full Ice Queen mode as a guy did his best to chat her up. Her chilly façade melted when she saw me, though.

"Ready to go, babe?" I asked her.

"Ready," she said, pulling me down for a kiss that was perhaps a bit more enthusiastic than necessary for a public place. The guy took the hint and slinked off without another word. She slid her hand into mine and we started our walk back to my car.

"Sorry about that," she said, once we were outside.

"About what?"

"That guy. He just couldn't take a hint."

"It's fine. Honestly, any excuse for you to kiss me like that is okay in my book," I said, giving her an exaggerated wink.

"Does it bother you, when guys hit on me like that?" she asked.

"Bother me? Not really. If anything I'm just annoyed on your behalf. I know that you don't like it, and how frustrating it can be when they don't respect you enough to just take a no as a no, but it's not like I'm overcome with a jealous rage when I see another guy talking to you. I don't feel like I have anything to worry about."

"You don't."

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious. I know that guys can feel a bit possessive."

I unlocked my car and we both got in.

"Do you want me to be more bothered by something like that? I mean, there'd certainly be a line at which I'd get my hackles up over a guy making a move on you, but that right there wasn't it."

"No, I like that you're confident, both in yourself and in us. And that you're not hypocritical. A lot of guys can complain about their girlfriends being jealous but then turn around and be even worse."

I nodded. "I think a lot of times that's just projection. I knew plenty of guys on the football team who would cheat on their girlfriends at any given opportunity, so of course they suspected that their girlfriends would do the same and treated any interaction they had with another dude as a threat."

"Changing subjects, but I was wondering if you thought I should introduce myself to your mom at work, or if you wanted to do that another way."

"Oh, I totally forgot to tell you. She called me yesterday. Beth's mom told her that I had a new girlfriend, so she had to give me the interrogation. I told her that you work at Eastwood. She told me to warn you that she might come up to introduce herself. Also she wants us to come over for dinner sometime."

"I guess we're moving pretty quickly into the 'Meet the Parents' stage of things," she said.

"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. You work with my mom, so you were always going to at least cross paths, and since you live with your dad I was going to have to meet him unless I just never went over to your place. I guess it will just make things easier to get it out of the way. It would be different if we lived in another city or state from our parents."

"That's true. Well, then I guess we'll both be looking out for the other. Are you still good with coming over for dinner tomorrow night so you can meet my dad?" Cece asked.

"Yeah, and then dance lessons?"

"Yup. Do you have any special requests for dinner? I'm going to go to the store after work today."

"Nope, I'm sure I'll be happy with whatever you want to make."

"I hope so," she said. "After the meal you made for us on Friday, I'm feeling like maybe my cooking skills aren't up to snuff."

"You'll be fine. I'm not a food critic, I'm just excited to have a nice meal with my girlfriend," I told her.

"And your girlfriend's dad."

"That part might have me a little worried," I admitted. "Especially after he saw the kiss with Melissa on TV."

"Don't worry about it. He might give you some crap about it, but it's not serious. I've already talked to him."

"We'll see." I pulled up to Cece's house. "Have a great day. I'll talk to you later, babe."

She smiled, then gave me a kiss. "Later, babe." Then my girlfriend walked away, giving her hips a little bit of an extra wiggle as she went.

We had only been in class for about three minutes before Susan raised her hand.

"Yes, Susan?"

"Mr. Dillon, are you and Miss Dixon going to get married?"

I blinked a couple of times and then shook my head. "What? No. Why would you ask that?"

"I saw you kissing her on TV!"

The whole class broke out in excited chatter while I face-palmed. "Miss Dixon and I are just friends. She was being silly for the camera at the baseball game."

"Mr. Dillon and Miss Dixon, sitting in a tree-" one of the boys started to sing.

"That's enough," I said, raising my voice slightly. Everyone shut up. "This is not a conversation we're going to be having. Miss Dixon and I are friends, we are not going to get married, and that's all I'm going to say about that. Now, we have a lot to do today. Table Captains, please come grab these worksheets."

The rest of the morning went by smoothly, with no more discussion of me and Melissa. When lunch rolled around and all three of the girls--Melissa, Tori, and Emma--came to my room to eat, Emma was wearing a shit-eating grin.

"Melissa and Ryan, sitting in a tree," she sang.

I groaned. "Ugh, not you too. It was the first thing my kids asked about this morning."

"Ryan, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to cause any problems," Melissa said.

I waved her off. "It's not a big deal. Kids are always blown away by things that remind them their teachers have a real life outside of school."

"Did you tell Cece what happened?" she asked.

"I didn't have to. She saw it on TV."

"Oh my god," Melissa said, dropping her face into her hands. "Was she pissed?"

I shook my head. "No, she was super cool about it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She could see that you were the one initiating, and of course I told her that nothing else happened after that."

"Oh good," Melissa said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "It wasn't your fault, she just thinks I'm some slut who was kissing her boyfriend."

"Cece doesn't think you're a slut, Melissa. We talked, and I explained our situation. She gets it."

"You told her about us?" she asked, alarmed.

"Of course I did. She's my girlfriend now. She deserved to know."

"What, did you two just have a sit down and go over your entire sexual history or something? You've been dating for like two days. Did you tell her about Tori and Riley too?"

"Wait, what?" Emma asked, her eyes wide.

Melissa went white. "Oh shit."

Emma turned on me, her face twisted up in anger. "What the fuck, Ryan? I guess all that shit about not wanting to complicate things at work was a lie. It was just me you didn't want to be with. Is that why she flipped out on me at the bar? Or did you just give her a pity fuck later because you felt bad about her boyfriend being a cheating asshole?"

"Emma, shut the fuck up," Tori said. Emma froze, her mouth still open. "They hooked up before Ryan even knew who she was. He had no idea they were going to be working together, and obviously neither of them wanted for it to be a thing that got around here." She gave Melissa a pointed stare. The petite blonde shrunk under her roommate's gaze.

"Sorry," they both said, meekly.

"Give Ryan some credit. Melissa, Cece saw you kissing her new boyfriend on live TV just a few hours after they became official. Of course he's going to have to tell her about the situation between the two of you. Emma, what happened between Riley and Ryan has nothing to do with you. Chill the fuck out."

Both girls nodded, their eyes downcast. I gave Tori an appreciative smile.

"I'm sorry, Ryan," Melissa said as she stood up. "I thought I could do a better job of handling this. I should go."

"You don't have to-" I started to say, but Tori put a hand on my arm and shook her head. "If that's what you think is best right now."

"I do. I just need to cool off a bit. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?" She walked towards the door without waiting for my response.

"Yeah, tomorrow," I said to her back.

"I'm sorry too," Emma said, then she got up and followed Melissa out.

I sat back in my chair, stared up at the ceiling, and sighed. "What the fuck was that?"

"Melissa is just still feeling a bit raw. She lost out on you as a boyfriend, and she's worried about losing out on you as a friend, too. I think she's afraid that Cece won't want you hanging out with her."

"I don't think Cece has a jealous bone in her body. I'd be really surprised if that ever happened."

Tori gave me a skeptical look. "Maybe, but you guys just started dating. I'm sure she's doing her best to be the fun, chill girlfriend right now. For your sake I hope it stays that way, but I'd say it's just as likely that over time she stakes more of a claim over your life and will demand some boundaries, especially with women you've slept with in the past. It's just natural," Tori said.

"Maybe we should all try to hang out. If she's friends with you too then that might make things simpler."

"I don't know. Maybe. I am interested in meeting her, though. Melissa didn't get to talk to her much when you all went to that baseball game. No rush, though," she said.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, so Tori packed up her stuff and we left to go pick up our classes. I ran into Riley on the way back.

"Hey, I'm almost done with that book," I told her. "Do you want to talk about it over lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure, that sounds great. Just come over to my classroom?" she said, her perfect pearly whites shining as she smiled.

"Will do."

The rest of the school day was uneventful, and I made it back to my apartment around 3:30. Just as I was changing out of my work clothes and into something more comfortable for lounging around, my phone started vibrating on my bedside table. I was surprised to see that it was a call from Brad, one of my friends up north.

"Brad, what's up man?" We'd been in the same friend group for years, but I was pretty sure that this was the first time he'd ever called me. Obviously Kevin was my best friend, and I was close with Marco, but Brad was probably number four on the list behind Nate. Brad was...an interesting guy. He could rub a lot of people the wrong way, but he fit into our group. It was one of those "he may be kind of an asshole, but he's our asshole" situations. We'd give him a lot of shit, but he took it in stride. That's just who he was.

"Hey, Ryan. How are things going down in San Diego?" Brad was usually bordering on brash, but he sounded very uncertain right now, even just initiating the most basic of small talk.

"Pretty well. Still feel like I'm not quite settled, but I'm getting there. Things going well for you up there?"

"Yeah, man. Things are good. They're good. You, uh, you been going out and meeting any new women, or anything like that?" he asked.

I couldn't help but laugh. Why was he being so awkward? "Funny you ask. Actually, as of Saturday, I've got a new girlfriend."

He exhaled. "That's great man, that's great. Really great."

"Yeah, I think so. So what's up? You just checking in, or did you need something?"

"Well...man, look. This is kind of awkward," Brad said.

"I can tell. You're acting weird, man. What's going on?"

"I was just wondering, shit. Um." He took a deep breath. "Okay. How would you feel if I asked Amanda out on a date?"

I felt like someone had just punched me in the gut. It felt like it took a minute to start breathing again, but I'm sure it was just a moment or two. Even so, my pause had been noticeable.

"Ryan? You there?" Brad asked.

I didn't know why Brad's question hit me so hard. It wasn't that it was one of my friends asking, though I did appreciate the courtesy of him checking to see how I'd feel about it. Amanda and I were over. I'd moved. I'd moved on. I'd slept with half a dozen other women since then, and started dating Cece. Obviously Amanda should be able to move on, too.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm here," I said. I took another breath. "It's cool, man. Go for it."

"Are you sure?" he asked, but I could hear the relief in his voice.

"Yeah. I appreciate you asking, but you didn't need to."

"Nah, man. I did need to. You're my friend, and I respect the hell out of you. Even if you're cool with it, I know it might be awkward. It's just...I don't know. She's cool, man. We've just been talking a lot when everyone is hanging out."

"I get it. She's great. It just...it didn't work for us, in the end. Maybe it'll be better with you." Every word tasted like ash in my mouth, even as I tried to convince myself that I was being ridiculous. How could it be better with him? How could she find happiness with Brad when she couldn't find it with me?

"We'll see, I guess. I don't even know if she's interested, really. I need to ask to find out, but I didn't want to have you hear about it from anyone other than me. Like I was sneaking around, or something."

"I get it, man. Like I said, I appreciate it, even if it wasn't necessary."

"It felt necessary to me."

"I hope it works out for you," I lied.

"Thanks, man. You probably don't want, like, updates on how things or going or whatever, but I'm sure you'll hear from someone if things go well," Brad said.

"Yeah, I'm sure I will." My mouth felt dry. "Look, sorry man, but I was actually just heading out, but it was good to hear from you."

"Okay, man. I'll let you go. Later, Ryan."

"Later."

I ended the call and sat down on my bed, trying to sort out my feelings. They made no logical sense. We had broken up months ago. I hadn't seen or spoken to her since. I'd moved hundreds of miles away. I'd been thinking of her less and less. I'd moved on, been with other women. I had a new girlfriend.

But that's the thing about feelings, they don't care about facts.

Amanda was mine, and the thought of her with someone else made me sick, made me angry. Try as I might to forget her and move on, she was still a part of me. Her scent had forever seared itself into my nose. The feel of her skin forever branded on my hand. Her name forever carved into my heart.

Would these things fade away with time? I didn't know. All I knew was that they hadn't faded yet, as much as I wished they had. But it wasn't fair for me to be feeling this way. She deserved her chance to move on, just like I did. Hell, for all I knew she already had moved on and been with someone else, even before Brad decided he wanted to ask her out.

My stomach twisted.

I unlocked my phone and made another call.

"What's up, man?" Kevin asked when he answered.

"Dude, I just had the most awkward conversation ever with Brad."

"With Brad? Why?"

"He called and asked me if I'd be okay with him asking Amanda out."

"That piece of shit," Kevin growled. "Don't worry, I'll get Marco and Nate, and we'll go sort him out."

"No, no. Don't do that. I told him that I'm fine with it," I said.

"It sure doesn't sound like you're fine with it."

"I'm...not. But I should be. I want to be. It really surprised me how viscerally I reacted when he asked me."

"Well, no shit. That's your girl."

"She's not, though. Not anymore. Shit, I've even got myself a new girlfriend. She deserves to move on with someone else, too." It was easy to say, but not so easy to feel, even now.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it should be with one of your friends. And hold on, what's this about a new girlfriend?"

"Cece, the girl I've been out with a few times. We went official on Saturday," I told him.

"Awesome, man. Oh! You should bring her up with you when you come. See if she passes inspection."

I laughed. "You are not inspecting my girlfriend. I'll ask her if she wants to come up, though. Might be a little early for that kind of trip."

"So what are you going to do about Brad?"

"Nothing," I said. "I don't mind that it's him. It's just that I have this physical reaction thinking about her with anyone besides me. I guess on some level I do still think of her as being mine, but I need to get past that. Maybe this will help."

"If you say so, man. I'm still probably going to give him shit for it, though. Once it's public knowledge."

"Feel free, but it doesn't have to be on my behalf. I'm not mad or anything, I just feel...weird."

"I get it. Just go spend some time with your new girlfriend, that should help keep your mind off Amanda," Kevin said.

"Yeah, not a bad idea. I'll ask her about next month and see what she says. Sorry for bothering you, just needed to get that off my chest."