Spice Up Your Marriage

The dice were called role play and they were eight-sided dice.

-The red dice: lick, dry hump, diddle, nibble, tickle, suck, spank, fuck

-The black dice: foot and toes, belly button, lips and tongue, hands and fingers, inner thigh, taint or asshole, clit or balls, neck and ears

In case you are curious, the taint is the location between the vagina or testicles and the anus. (I had to look that up even after all these years)

My man's first roll was spank my asshole.

My first roll was diddle his balls.

Other rolls included dry humping his leg, sucking his fingers, him fucking my feet, him nibbling my pussy, him licking my thighs (we both agreed tickle would be lick), he ate my asshole, I sucked his balls, he fucked my breasts (as we replaced belly button for tits), I sucked his nipples, and finally he got me on all fours and fucked me hard doggy style.

In the end, it was a lot of fun... although my man got impatient rather early... next time I wouldn't play this the day he came home after being gone six days.

PS: This last set is for you with a kink; for those just trying to rekindle your sex life start with any of the first couple of ideas... and ignore the next one.

Of course, if you just want to get to hardcore sex and have little boundaries do this very direct to the point version:

1-face fuck

2-face sit

3-fisted

4-pegged

5-fuck

6-anal

Lastly, because I have a large gay, lesbian and trans fan base, I figured I should create my own spin for the LGTBQ+ peeps.

For lesbian couples.

1-1 kiss

1-2 suck on nipples

1-3 sit on face

1-4 eat ass

1-5 trace pussy lips

1-6 trib

2-2 massage

2-3 shower play

2-4 finger slow

2-5 finger bang

2-6 fist

3-3 69

3-4 focus on clit

3-5 eat pussy

3-6 make her cum

4-4 strap-on suck

4-5 strap on fuck

4-6 strap-on ass

5-5 ice

5-6 food

6-6 French kiss

For gay men

1-1 kiss

1-2 just the mushroom top

1-3 just the shaft

1-4 the ball sac

1-5 the balls

1-6 eat ass

2-2 suck on nipples

2-3 finger ass

2-4 suck dick

2-5 suck dick and finger ass

2-6 fuck

3-3 69

3-4 cum on face

3-5 anal gaping

3-6 shower play

4-4 ice

4-5 syrup

4-6 French kiss

5-5 blindfold

5-6 hands tied

6-6 piss in mouth

7. READ EROTICA AND WATCH PORN TOGETHER

Oddly, reading erotica is not something I have ever done with my man.

Yet, some of my favourite e-mails I receive are from couples who say they read my stories together. I love the idea of a couple laying in their bed, a woman leaning into her man's arm as she reads one of my stories out loud. I realize I don't have many couple-only stories although 12 Days of Sexmas is one and I really should write a new one.

Anyways, whether it is one of my stories or any of the thousands of stories online (Literotica even has a bunch of audio stories that can be listened to as well), this is another safe way to slyly share fantasies without judgment.

Advice:

Take turns choosing a story.

Choose a variety of authors... hopefully find a few you both like.

Choose a variety of themes or kinks.

If this works, both of you can choose more specific stories that may be a secret fantasy of yours.

It may be a great way for a man to see how his wife responds to a man getting pegged. It may be a great way to see how her man responds to her BBC fantasy.

In the end, this should make both your libido increase, lead to a few creative new bedroom positions, kinks or fantasies and slowly open up the conversation about either of your fantasies you may feel uncomfortable sharing with your spouse.

For both sharing fantasizes can be hard. No one wants to be judged. It could be something simple like wanting a new position or positions, it may be wanting a finger inside her when you are going down on her (and you better be going down on her), it may be a man wanting to give is wife a facial or it could be something kinkier... like....

For a man the idea of being pegged, being submissive, sucking a dick, being cucked are all very taboo and hard to say to the woman you love... yet are growing fantasies of men... especially in their forties or later).

For a woman, it can be impossible to admit you have lesbian curiosities (even if most men find it hot), that you want to be spanked, or roughly pounded or face fucked, or to just be dominated. It can also be difficult to tell your man you would like to peg him, he isn't making her come or she secretly wants to be double penetrated. Never mind the BBC fantasies some women have.

My point... after the ramble... and some extreme thoughts men and women may have... you can use erotica to explore these fantasies.

By the way, this doesn't mean you have to add a third to your relationship. Or anything, but you can indeed role play... which leads me to the next part... with six to nine all going together.

PS: You can also buy a new or old erotic story magazine and just read them together that way.

Now, a perhaps a little more awkward, watch porn together.

Men: if you are choosing pick one that is tame in regards to sex act. Likely no double penetration, anal, extreme verbal domination and so forth. Equally important... make sure it has a story. One where your woman can be drawn in and feel for the main character.

Women: If you are choosing, choose whatever the fuck you want as your man will likely just be thrilled you have agreed to watch porn. I may stray away from man-on-man action, but other than that your options are pretty wide open.

8. DIRTY TALK

For some dirty talk is incredibly awkward... especially for the man. I have learned through my years of writing, research and dialogue with readers that most women are verbal in the bedroom (are you, my lady readers?), while many men struggle with talking dirty to their women even though they are often thinking those exact things while they are fucking them (is that true, male readers?).

So, men, I will let you know a general truth about women (please note that any advice given by me in this essay, especially broad statements like this, please understand this isn't every woman or every man in other cases): we like dirty talk in the heat of the moment.

That said, we don't usually appreciate dirty talk when sitting on the couch watching television. Nor, do we appreciate it when washing dishes. No, we need to be in the mood, which in most cases, shifts us from good girl, caring mother, feminist, sweet wife to nasty slut, cock sucker, cum craving whore or just a woman who needs it bad.

So, before you start calling your woman a cum slut or cock craving whore, before you instruct her to bend over, spread her ass and beg for your cock to pound her... make sure she is in that state.

How do you know she is?

Her talking dirty first is a great instant notification.

She is moaning from whatever leisure you are giving her is another.

Now, until you know what she is willing to take verbally, start slow and safe as the wrong thing can kill a fire in her loins quicker than a fire hose turned on full blast.

Say things like: (each time pushing the boundary a little bit based on her reaction; be warned you may go to far and kill the mood)

-Do you like that baby?

-How does my big cock feel deep in your pussy? (never use cunt unless you have heard that word out of her lips... during sex... many women find this word offensive)

-Do you want it harder?

-Beg for it.

-Take all my dick.

-Tell me what you want. (This is a great one to see where she is mentally at)

-Oh yeah, you love it, don't you bitch?

-That's it, slut, take all my cock.

-Tell me you want it, slut, tell me you want to be my hot little slut.

I think you get the point. Remember this isn't porn or one of my stories where every woman wants to be called a cum slut, ass whore or fuck toy thirty seconds into an encounter (although many will willing take those words and your dick when you have her at the right mental and physical state).

Ps: you could always go old school and back to point 1 and, you know, talk about this in advance.

Now women, remember, Men are stupid (no offence men). If you want something in the bedroom, regardless of what it is, don't give hints (men are stupid), tell them bluntly what you want. For example, many husbands put their wife in a pedestal (which has its own merit) and would never call you a bitch, slut, whore, cum bucket in fear of hurting your feelings or killing the mood. So if you like dirty talk, if you like being called names, let him know.

As he fucks you talk dirty... here are some of the things I have said in my many sexual encounters with my man (and others):

-Yes, fuck me with that big dick (I have said that to men who in fact do not have a big dick, but 'yes, fuck me with that average size or small dick doesn't really enhance the mood).

-Pound me, baby

-Fuck my cunt (I love the word cunt and feel it enhances the wickedness of the moment... yet you would never hear me say it in day to day conversation)

-Yes baby, fuck me, fuck your slut, fill me up with your load (although I write a lot of sex scenes and often make the woman very verbal... I only get to the nasty name calling when I'm really revved up... this may be true for many women)

-Oh yes, suck on my clit, finger my cunt (my man and hopefully you (if you are a man reading this) understands the importance of going down on your women... it is essential)

-Oh yes, drill my asshole, fuck my shit hole, make me your ass slut, and cum in my arse, (are all phrases I say when at least a little, often a lot intoxicated as I don't do anal unless I am in that state. That said, once I have got used to his dick buried in my asshole, mixed with the alcohol, I become very, very vocal)

-Come on my face, baby coat your sexy slut with your load (I like facials quite a bit... the warmth of the cum as it splatters my face is a turn-on and I do find rubbing it all over my skin does help keeping my skin fresh... don't believe me google the benefits of cum for a woman's complexion)

Anyway, those are just a few of the things you may hear me say if you were in a hotel room beside me.

Now I should note, as usual, I went right to extreme dirty cock... name calling.

Most dirty talk is less derogatory. Just use swear words.

Men:

-Oh yeah, suck my cock

-Yes, ride me baby

-Yeah, take my cock baby, take it

-Oh God, your pussy feels so good

-Fuck, yes, bounce back on my dick, fuck

Women:

Oh, yes, fuck me

Give me that big cock

God, I love you in my pussy

Fuck, fuck, don't you dare fucking stop

Eat my pussy, baby, get that tongue right in there

Well, that tangent went astray.

9. GO TO AN ADULT STORE TOGETHER

Seven is flavoured lubricant, eight are the use of toys, and nine is role playing... so we will talk about those in more details in their own section.

As such, a trip to an adult shop is a great way to make some decisions together to explore some fantasies, or just spice up foreplay and even sex.

My man and I have done a few trips to an adult store, usually when we are in a different city, and have also ordered some toys, lube, lingerie and stockings online... but I prefer going to a store (just like my man prefers going to an old record store over buying vinyl online).

First, walk through the entire store... hand in hand.

Just browse.

Don't touch anything... no matter if something catches your eye.

Then, do things in the following order:

A. Look at gimmick accessories. These include the sex dice I had talked about earlier, but also include decks of cards, books, games, and more. There will be a lot of items for a bachelorette party (oddly way more than for a bachelor party).

B. Look at the accessories. These will include:

-handcuffs (which many women and even some men love, but I hate as I get instant anxiety with I am bound in any way)

-Rope or other binding devices (obviously not my thing either),

a blindfold (which we do have and both like to wear, the anticipation of what he will do next to me is very exciting and increases my blood flow)

-a feather tickler (also not for me. I hate being tickled and being tickled gets me turned off almost immediately. Although if it is used in a teasing slowly tracing my body away I could likely get into it... but it's not worth the risk for me to go from hot and bothered to annoyed in a heartbeat). Yet, I know some men and women love to be tickled or just teased with this very cheap purchase.

-ball gag (we own one of these and used it a fair amount when the kids were younger as I can be a bit loud when I'm getting fucked good or coming... but truthfully, although I didn't find it uncomfortable and it was indeed a turn-on the first time my man strapped it around my face, I prefer to talk, a lot, while being fucked. I get the odd criticism in my writing for unbelievable conversations while sex is occurring, and perhaps there is some merit to it, but in my own sex life I am very animated and talkative when getting pounded. From my experience the men and the women I have been intimate (a funny word) with they seem to appreciate it,)

One I have never tried is a pin wheel. It is a pretty basic concept. It is a wheel with little pins to cause like pain across your back, ass or somewhere else. Since I don't like many pain in my sexual encounters, I don't really have any interest in trying it.

Another one I have never tried is nipple clamps... partly because my nipples are frustratingly not overly sensitive and partly because as I mentioned I don't like pain. That said, I know some women will go wild getting their nipples tugged with these simple, cheap devices.

Something we have tried is a collar and leash. You can buy basic collars, sexy collars or nasty word collars. The one my man bought me was a black one with faux diamonds. But for you on the kinky side you can get ones that say slut, slave, pet, Daddy's girl and more. In the end, I didn't mine wearing a collar and liked the tugging of the leash, but found the collar a little claustrophobic and we haven't used it in years... although we still own it.

There are two accessories that we do use a lot.

One... is lubricant. Yes, we use it to help assist getting him in my very tight asshole and occasionally in my pussy, especially in marathon fuck sessions, but we actually use it more for oral sex.

We have used many flavoured lubes in a plethora of flavours and smells. While in the old day there were basic kinds like strawberry, raspberry, chocolate and other fruits... the lubricant companies have really upped their game. Recently we have tried cotton candy, peach, watermelon, lemonade, frosted cupcake, among others.

But recently we found a new brand that has got us addicted... especially me.

So, men, if you want a different taste when you dine on your wife's pussy, or women, you want some flavour added to your cock sucking experience (obviously this works for trans women and gay men as well... and I imagine would even enhance a strap-on lesbian encounter) try Lube Life and their creative flavours: birthday cake, chocolate mint, pina coloda, strawberry and more. My husband really enjoys birthday cake, but then we found these kinds and have bought them all: Sex on the beach, ma tai, pina caloda and my favourite, which literally tastes like champagne, Prosecco.

These have been game changers. We have eight different bottles for variety and use them likely two out of three times we have sex... and every time we have sex in the bedroom. For the record, I have even poured some of the Prosecco into a small travel tube and keep it in my purse for those times I need some dick in the car, at a club, at my parent's house or, just last week, at a mall family bathroom.

Another cool enhancement, we have been using arousal gels since before COVID. Just a couple drops on my pussy and almost instantly the arousal accelerates. My orgasms are quicker and more intense when we use this gel before penetration.

Ladies, for the perfect orgasms (yes I implied multiple), have your man go down on you and dine on your pussy with the flavour of his choice until you come on his face. Then after likely swallowing his load with your choice of flavoured lube go for the marathon fuck. Since he already came, he will last longer... allowing you to reach multiple orgasms from the fucking and the arousal gel. I will warn you prim and proper women that the arousal gel will get you much hornier than usual and likely make you become a horny slut begging to be fucked hard and to come.

By the way, since we can't get this in Canada (and I fucking didn't think about it when I was recently in the States, there is Cannabis lube. Most are to help get the pussy high which really enhances the orgasm (I'm told) and even one that will get your asshole high making anal sex reach a whole other level of pleasure.

Now I have never tried this, so if interested do some research. It is on my bucket list to try for sure.

With your accessories chosen, saunter over to the toy section.

Find at least one vibrator that you want to try... I find rabbit vibrators are great for pleasure on the inside and outside of my pussy. Ladies if you have great must have vibe please add it to the commentary at the end.

As for my husband, he had had a couple of fleshlights for his trips and also I have masturbated him with one on the odd occasion.

Ladies:

-Curious about black cock... buy a suction cup dildo you can fuck yourself with.

-Curious about being double penetrated... by a thin vibrator for your ass or a big fat one for your pussy.

-Curious about clitoral stimulation... choose a magic wand or any other unique clit based toy to use while your man is fucking you.

Men:

-Curious about being pegged... convince your wife to buy a strap-on harness and cock, or even a prostate massager.

-Curious about cock rings... buy a vibrating one... gives increased pleasure to both of you.

Both of you:

-If you're curious about anal... buy an anal training kit.

Regardless, DO NOT LEAVE THE STORE without a new toy to experiment with. That is an order!

Lastly, meander over to the costume or lingerie area (not every adult store has this section or a large section).

Role play can be a lot of fun. Adding costumes to role play can really enhance the role play. What is his fantasy? What is hers?

My man has a sexy as fuck fireman outfit (where he always finishes with a hose down), a cop outfit (the one time I let him handcuff me) and a cowboy outfit (where I got to literally do cowgirl).

I have, of course, a cheerleading outfit, a nurse outfit, a matching cowgirl outfit, a school girl uniform (I love wearing pigtails and a plaid skirt) and a couple of others.

By the way, when you get to the costume area watch where your spouse's eyes go too. Human nature is for your eyes to go to the one that turns you on.

If allowed, try a few on. Turn it into a fashion show (you can also do this at home). Odds are you will both get revved up and end up fucking that day.

10. FLAVOURED LUBRICANT

I already talked about the power of lube... both for lubrication and oral pleasure in part six... so although I won't go into more detail now just know this is a must and deserves it's own number.