Splashdown Ch. 09

You want to talk about finding out things really can get worse? I come back feeling I am a failure and a big zero. Then you have a beautiful and fit woman throw herself at you and you can't achieve an erection. Wow. Zero to less than zero in a heartbeat! I just couldn't, but I let her hold me and fawn all over me. At that point though I'm pretty sure I would've reacted exactly the same way if she'd poured scalding water on me instead.

Now Peggy would come downstairs in underwear as though she'd forgotten to put clothes on. Peggy's assets were practically the stuff of legend. She wasn't a ridiculous caricature of a woman; she was a mouthwateringly well-rounded voluptuous woman. When that didn't do it for me, she would engineer nip slips or the like. The poor thing would hold a preposterous pose, watching me out of the corner of her eye using her new spy techniques, until she knew I had seen her. Then Peg would initiate motion like she had been in that motion the entire time, which made it worse.

Imagine standing legs straight a yard apart at the feet, bent at the waist, apparently starring at the baseboard heater then swinging the duster around wildly, when it registered in her peripheral vision that I was looking at her. A game of Twister produced more naturally occurring poses. Her complete failure as a spy was rapidly becoming one of the fundamental truths to my life. It didn't carry soul stirring meaning, but it was nice to have a constant to cling to again.

Everything can come to a boil, even the constantly below room temperature tepidity of my less than exciting existence. During one of her pre planned spontaneous displays of exhibitionism I went over and tore off her underwear. I told her go get her toys and put on a show for me stating, "You're killing me with this bad spy craft!"

Peggy was not deterred. Instead she was so excited she dashed off to fulfill her master's wish. I have to hand it to her, what she did that night should have put me on the moon. She thought I was into it so she was bouncing off the walls. She actually fell asleep right there on the family room floor after she finished her one-woman marathon. After her collapse I had some time unperturbed and made some really good stock trades!

Wanton exhibitionism became something Peggy did regularly. She wouldn't take no for an answer, she would put on a sex show for me. She used various little toys, all effective, though none very provocative visually. She knew she was treading a terrible line, I felt for her. How do you sexually entice the man of your heart when your pussy has betrayed him? How do you use that same pussy to turn him on? How do you play his own personal prostitute inside his bedroom without reminding him what a whore you played outside his bedroom?

But occasionally I would walk over when she was writhing and bucking on the ground, to stand over her to jack off on her. I found out a couple of things. First, she treated that like a standing ovation for winning Superbowl MVP. And secondly, you can jack off when only semi hard. Fun facts to know!

Occasionally I would stick my cock in Peggy's mouth, I would cum and walk away. She reacted like I had given her the Hope Diamond. She would come screaming like banshees whenever and however I touched her during one of her performances. I know, I know, but I am, er was, a trained observer and professional cynic, but I really don't think she was faking.

One day it occurred to me she still had her passion for me. Hell, she may not love me, but sooner than later I might have a pretty good sex life again. So, it was all on me now. The chemicals she took had not damaged her desire long term. That was good. If that had been the case, it might have been the straw that broke my marriage's back.

I took it upon myself to ask her about it. I don't even remember what my question was, but Peggy's response was a decided eye opener in a number of ways.

"M-My God Gary, my most fervent wish is that you would take me. And any way you care to! I haven't wanted to bring my sins up again though I thought I'd lost your love. It's clear you don't desire me, that I actually turn you off. I have to dance naked practically humping our furniture before you gain any blood down there. I-I began to hope you were plowing someone on the side because it's been months and you haven't taken me like you used to or are capable of. I cut you off for four months, then another six during the flight, and now you find me so reprehensible I can barely get you to cum on me.

"Y-You have shot in my mouth a few times, none of what I do is an act, Gary; you really taste like nectar. Sweet nectar straight from Olympus. Don't you see how badly I need and desire you?"

Her face twisted into an odd mask; she was saying something with great sympathy trying like holy heck to not have it sound like pity. A heaping helping of her old self-loathing was back too.

"I've been so scared to say this, scared it would blow us up, but you truly haven't been with anyone, have you? You just haven't been interested. Oh God you should be boiling, but I killed your sex drive too. I've neutered you. I hate myself, Gary."

"Do you know how dirty I feel, how disgusting, how disgusted I am with myself? Here's the big secret: the big sorrow I have; I'm in love with the most wonderful man in the world, and the last man to have me is that communist pipsqueak, Alexi. He's maybe two thirds of your size ... everywhere!

"I'm disgusted I know that, disgusted I reacted like I did to ground beef or tartar or whatever the hell they call it over there, when I had a porterhouse waiting for me stateside. I wanted nothing more than to sink my teeth into that succulent prime cut at home! I just wanted to get home to you. But I wasn't there for you when you needed me, I forced you onto a vegan diet, as a result you don't want me now.

"You feared I wanted any man but you, that everything and everyone else came before you in my heart. That couldn't be more false. Your disinterest in me is killing me and my pussy feels a little more diseased each day because of the last man to touch it. When you've merely touched me, I glow for days.

"I've prayed and prayed I'm the only woman you don't want, prayed my husband was finding solace in the arms and legs of another woman, because if not I'd profoundly hurt him on a deep, deep, level. Only a broken heart could do this Gary, and it's true isn't it? You still love me, don't you? Only a broken heart could torture you so profoundly."

Peggy's eyes shone with an anguish that was hot as shame, "Gary, I told you and I meant it, at this point I would lay down my life to restore you to the man you used to be. Please understand you're the only man I ever loved. I was so selfish I made you doubt I loved you back. Then I transmuted selfish desires into selfish actions, some of which strayed into actual betrayals of you, like cutting off your ability to have fun sexually with me. Then I committed adultery. Regardless of my motivation or why it was done or if it was wanted, I performed the acts.

"Gary, I told you what I did. I want to make love to you, but I need it dirtier more debasing than I had it then. I need you to own all my superlatives, perhaps extremes would be the better word. I need you to be not just the best, but the most painful, the most humiliating, the most everything!

"Please Gary, listen to me here. I know ... I can tell you love me. But you are seething in anger with no way to get any of it out of your system. I'm very fit, Gary; I'm a fucking astronaut."

Peg looked stricken, "Oh God that's exactly what I am! An astronaut that fucks!" She was still and pale for a while until she detected motion from me, that set her back on her trail of redemption.

"Gary, I never want to have another man, and I want you more than I can explain. I want to be your woman, and your love, and your whore, and your slut. I was desperate for a penis, a dick, a cock, when I was drugged. How much stronger do you think I'll react when I need it that bad and love that cock, and it's that big beautiful delicious one of yours. Please baby, take away my stain, take back what has been yours all along.

"I said nasty terrible things to ... him, Gary. I've said nastier ones to you, and yearn to again. Come on give me a punish fuck, give me a pile driving, whore killing, ball busting, hammer job that would make a brahma bull blush, and show that commie bastard how a man actually owns a pussy!

"I never said a bad word about you. I wouldn't let him, he seemed scared of you, Gary. He seemed like a man who hadn't had ass in six months so once he was into it, he was off to the races. Except he isn't you by any stretch and when you came up, he blanched, I swear he did. I don't know why, though he was scared of the fact of you. Baby, I've had too much time to think, you said it was possible that I was a target because of who my husband was. I think Alexi and those guys were supposed to target me. I think it was a plan before I got up there. What did you do to them? They knew who you were and were determined to get to you through me. Weren't they?"

I could see the desperation in her eyes. She was searching for a button that would make me take her, fearful that instead she would find the one that would make me hate her. Although Peggy was clearly desperate, I don't think she lied once.

Peggy was thinking it over, judging and weighing. What had she found? She was tearing herself apart wondering if this was the right way to go. She wanted to give me my release sexually. Emotionally, I was at a roadblock, unable to get through it. Peg resolved to blow it up, praying she didn't blow us up at the same time. I thought she was going to burst into tears, instead she launched her desperate calculated risk.

"So baby, you didn't protect me. You let me go up there with three enemy agents. I didn't know what was going on, but you were too angry at me for not thinking of it myself to tell me. You knew I couldn't change the crew compliment. You didn't want to worry me, thinking there was no opportunity for sex up there anyway, so you kept your mouth shut. I wanted to make you proud. You wanted me to go. I wanted to go too, certainly not because of them. I found out it never happened before: three cosmonauts and one American woman. This sounds like some sick pissing contest, and I was the stupid slut who fell into the trap.

"I let you down and disappointed you. I still wake up almost screaming because I can't erase the hurt disappointment on your face, and I can't stand it. Was all of it to see whose intelligence agency has the bigger dicks? And because you didn't protect me or clue me in, I know the answer. You have the bigger dick. Proud?

"Alexi isn't Special Forces or Intelligence, I'll swear to it, but he was briefed I bet, and you let him have me! You threw me into that lion's den, and I still love you, damn it. I'm dying watching you die, and you were supposed to protect me."

Peggy was crying now, the tears were almost exploding from her.

"I fucked up so bad, Gary. And I'm still doing it; you're ceding Alexi my pussy. You're giving it to him. It's yours, I just want you to love me. But I can't even get you to treat me like the vilest street whore in the city. Which tells me you must think I'm more vile than that!

"You're killing me Gary, in revenge for my killing you. I-I love you and will do anything to prove it, please tell me how. You used to love me. Now you're in such pain, so fucked up, you must still love me, that's the unholy truth. Please, please, pretend I'm someone else and take this poor unloved cunt. You don't have to claim it back, but please push in and make it count and wash pathetic Alexi out of me.

"You're supposed to save me. I'm still in the clutches of that bad man. Save me Gary. You're the hero. You're my hero. Please Gary, he's killing me. He's killing both of us. Don't let the bad guys win. Please baby, I'm dying, and I need you."

She looked right in my eyes with her last words ringing like a thunderclap in my ears. Then she said it again, "I need you!"

I'm not proud of this, although if you ask Peggy, she'll say she is very proud of me for what came next. She'd found a button sure enough. I grabbed her by the hair, not hard but assertively. At first confusion then elation danced across her face. I pulled her face to mine.

I seethed, "You want to be fucked like a whore?"

"Yes Gary, I've played the whore, treat me like one, fuck me through the floor. Treat me like the dirty whore that broke your heart. Get your revenge on that faithless slut!"

That was the word she'd used to explain her actions when she cheated on me, and not since. Now she was worried about exactly how close to what she'd done did she have to go now, and how far was too far? I solved it for her. I pushed her down and put a very hard cock in her mouth.

Peggy squealed in delight, then changed to a low guttural moan. I was a man again. Whatever wall I built up to keep this anger in was seriously compromised now. I jammed myself into her throat. I growled at her, "You said you were a desperate slut then. Are you a desperate slut now?"

Peg fought to wrench me from her throat, "Yes! Yes, I'm your slut. I'm just for you. You don't know how bad! Do it: fuck my throat! I want it so baaad."

Wow. Okay, that was working. Yep, go right at it. I jammed myself into the back in her throat. Peg was gagging but moaning too. Loudly. She made hand gestures as I took her off my cock once more to hear what she wanted to say.

"Let me show you how bad." She reached inside her pants and pulled out a soaking hand "Seeee! I wasn't like this! I was dry as a bone thinking you didn't want me. Fuck me, Gary! Fuck me good, fuck my ass off! Do what he couldn't Gary: knock me up! Make me into your breeder, Gary. That damn Russian couldn't do it."

She smiled looking at my reaction. It was almost a challenge.

"You can. You can do it. You can take that big fat bloated dick and change my whole body. He used my body but not well enough. You won. You OWN it! Make it cum for you Gary or deny it that satisfaction. It's your choice because you own it. So OWWWN it! Make me pregnant. Make your cum shoot out my ears. Fuck my entire body. Fuck me everywhere, make me pregnant, and change everything about me. I'm yours to do with as you wish, make me pay, Gary. Make me pay for those dirty awful things I did to you. Do it, Gary, scare Alexi to death!"

I pulled her up.

"Take off your clothes."

Peg was a blur as I still held her hair in my fist, our faces smashed tight, our tongues swirling together as she ripped off her clothing.

"How did he take you most? How were you at your sluttiest?" She looked then motioned to her hair. As soon as I released her, she ran over to the ottoman.

"This will be better for you Gary, there wasn't one there, so I was on the floor. I can be again if you want, but that way it made him kneel. Alexi deserves to kneel. You should fuck me standing up, with your hips able to pile drive like a stallion. He fucked me on his knees like a serf, you should fuck me standing like a man."

She knelt on the ottoman. I saw her exhale, she was having a bad memory, then she put her head down on the cushion, her shoulders next, her ass was way up in the air.

"This is me at my sluttiest. Ass in the air begging to be fucked. I-I am begging you, and more earnestly than I ever begged him.

"Pleeeease. Pleeeease give me your cock. Will any cock do? No! This faithless pussy may want any cock. It did then - with him. So, it had to settle for a boy's cock. The very best cock is yours. I've never had one like it. Pleeease cock me, Gary. Make me your bitch. Stuff me full and baste me from inside."

I stopped, "Were you this verbally creative with Alexi?"

I was sort of breaking the mood, though she answered in the hottest voice I have ever heard, especially because she dropped her harlot act.

"Nooo baby. I needed relief and got him. It was easy for him to use drugs to make a woman a whore, and a whore an animal. It takes a man with a stud's cock and a heart full of love to make a craven bitch back into a woman. That takes a special man. I want and need you, only you.

"I-I just told that little bastard to fuck me and fill me and I told him I was a slut, I never once told him I was his slut." Peggy paused crying, "Gary, I'd never felt need like that in my life. Gary, I was out of my mind, like I was hypnotized. It was strange, really strange. I am IN my mind now and my full heart too. I'm burning for this, Gary. I've never burned like this! Please, if you have a scrap of love left for me, give me that fucking beautiful cock and ... and make me feel you in my throat until next Tuesday. Now I'm your slut and your whore: break me, Gary. Make me your absolute bitch, Gary. No hyperbole, I need you to break me. I need you to fuck me until your cum is absolutely pouring out of my abused little pussy. Pleeeeaasse!"

Peg screamed as I pushed in. She was soaked and I was maybe a third in and I wasn't moving any further. This was a new problem. I'd never felt her this tight.

"Oh, My Gawwwd, Gary. What have you done? Oh Shit! Wow, you are a stallion. Fuck! I-I've had big toys in the past but nothing that felt this big. I've had nothing your size f-for a year! Oh, shit Gary. You feel humongous! H-How?"

I pushed again. I was still not halfway in.

"AhhhHHH! Fuck Gary, fuck!" her voice was deeper than I had ever heard.

"R-Remember the last time you f-fucked my ass? You just about kiiiilled me. I-It didn't feel this tight! Oh my God. I'm so dizzy, Gary. I think I might black out."

Liquid was running out of her; it was an eye-popping situation.

"Please put it all in, Gary. I don't care if it hurts. It'll let me know I belong to you. Don't worry Gary: you can give away what you own, because you own it. Please own me again, Gary. You won't be stuck with me again if you don't want. You can throw me away. All you need to do is own me for right now."

I pulled back to sink in again, this time a bit further.

"Oh. Oh no, it can't be. So full. I-I'm cumming! Oh God!"

With that I pushed back in farther. She screamed and I swear squirted. "Ahhhrhhh AHHHH! NNNN!"

Peg bucked as I held her down by the back of the neck. I kept pulling out and sinking in, working more and more into her. This was wildly exciting, and it seemed Peg just kept cumming. She looked back now, eyes wide as I sank deeper yet. Her voice was now husky and hoarse from her screams While growing weaker from her exertion.

"Gary. Gary, look to see, it, it feels like you are ripping me apart. I would stop if this was a toy, but it's you and it feels gloooorious even though it hurts."

"You're intact baby. Just much smaller due to disuse, I guess. Those shut down chemicals had to be tremendously strong stuff."

"Then fuck me because I'm your bitch now, even you've never rocked me like you just did. I-I know my stud, you can do it more and b-better. I don't even have you all yet, d-do I?" She pouted.

"No."

"Make me take it, Gary. Make me! Force me, make me take it, Gary. Make your bitch take it! Oh, my Godddddd. Oh fuuuuck. OH, it's impossible! I feel like I'm coming apart. Gary, no no, Master. No that's not right. UHHH, Unnn. Oh, sir. Yes, that's it: Sir! Yes sir, fuck your bitch. Fuck her, take it out on herrrrrrr!"

Peggy was panting and gasping, her eyes were rolling up. Now whatever I said she just answered with a moan or perhaps a "yesssss" or "sirrrrrr". It was pretty steaming hot. I went on working for a while until I had managed to do what both of us wanted.

I want you to understand that this reaction was new to me. I was a successful lover, but my partner screaming before I'm all the way in, incoherently babbling followed by constant praise when conscious, was not the usual fare. My wife was not this tight, but almost a year without sexual penetration and her system shutting down had apparently shrunk her considerably. Alas I'm only the high side of normal. Perhaps I had a little extra due to my wait and emotional state, but heck, I felt like John Holmes. Anyway, I knew to savor the moment because this ride may never come back to town.