All Comments on 'Spontaneous Combustion!'

Not a good story. No real revenge. Wife has no real consequences. A shitty local garden show wasn’t going to make her famous so she lost nothing. Oh well. Again, the story is well worth what I paid to read it.

As always in your stories the cheating whores walk scott-free.

The author always seems to use the same repetitive formula, wit some variations thrown in. It gives nearly all of his stories the same setup, tone, flavor, even central themes.

I confess it took me a moment to identify them but now that I did, it’s kind of glaringly obvious. How disappointing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I enjoy your stories but ultimately the mc’s always sort of deserve what happens to them. I mean there are so many signs not to get married, yet they sacrifice themselves just to simp a wee bit longer. This one though, I really didn’t think Anna was going to turn out to be such a cliche. It was like she got turned into a lw terminator.

Ruined dreams, no real life, story after story of nothing but downers. Who pissed in your post toasties?

Reread the. My favorite of this author. 5+ stars/

So the MC has money but no real life. He is so damamgrd he only dates. What life is that. Not having a life companion whether as a life partner or a wife. What a sad tale.

Excellent, creative work. Love your stories. Keep them long :-).

Sordid characters all. Narrator at the bottom of the barrel.

The storyline bothered me. The house and the land are part of an inheritance. As such Anne has no claim. The gardens are on the property and the owner can do what he wants to them. Why destroy the house then sell the land? Just destroy the gardens. What was the point of it all?

Revenge should be aimed at the offender. Anne’s dream was being famous. The gardens were her passport. He destroyed her dream. That’s a bullseye.

Your writing is excellent as usual but your characters are lacking. Take this for example;

If you make out an MC to be tough guy then let him be a tough SOB all 90 mins of film.

No director starts out with Jason Statham at the beginning of the film and turns him into Jonah hill at the end(No pun included).

If your man is here to kick ass, let him kick ass. If he's here to cry to us, let him cry.

Good storyline though.

3 stars. I'm still understanding how Weingrass gets to dine away into the sunset much less with a buxom half his age.

I am amazed at how many comments below indicate that the MC over-responded. He was betrayed by both his best friend and his wife. They both knew his history of being betrayed and how badly it hurt him and they just didn't care. They both deserved to be burned.

I think he should of granted his wife her wish of being famous. Like anonymously publishing her having sex. She needed more payback then just losing her television job and her precious garden

Destroying the beautiful gardens they made together then selling Aunt Helen's property for a development was the act of a pathetic loser. Divorce, yes, but not that. It made me wish Weingrass had offed him along with Tanner.

Always liked this story. Thanks.

Scorched earth approach to infidelity - literally and figuratively!

Strangely unsatisfying and unpleasant story. Your protagonist was a thin skinned conceited prick and the rest of the players were unlovable.

Nobody that stupid deserves to become a multi millionaire. And also it's a massively overused trope.

You've written many better story than this.

Nope. I will never forgive this author for what he did to that house and property.

Two Hoes screw over the same man. Both are upset, that he doesn’t take it lying down. It retrospect, I know that everyone says” living a good life” is the best revenge. But I think his wife, deserved some sort of derogation to her pristine reputation, besides losing her show on free tv.

5 stars... buy still....

Second reading was better 5*****

⭐⭐⭐

Huh? Mbgdallas says the wife did nothing to deserve the punishment she got? Ok yeah MC is vindictive. "She didn't plan the cheating, it just happened?" Wtf? Ok yeah maybe the first time it was too much nostalgia, Tanner being pushy and aggressive, being in Hawaii, and being tipsy (she didn't say drunk or intoxicated). Considering she was not chemically impaired, it was still a betrayal that would take a lit to forgive. But then she decides he will never know and will just have a fling, and repeatedly screws Tanner over and over while in Hawaii. Umm thatbis premeditated and malicious. She thought she coukd get away with it and she did it. Planning yo keep it secret. She might have except her aloof manner on the phone (she was either feeling guilty but not enough to stop cheating, but enough to be a bit weird on the phone or she was impatient for hubby to get off so she coukd be with Tanner) and Tanner spilling the beans about escorting her around at night in conflict with her own statements. Look she had a repeated sexual affair compressed in a short time frame. She did it once, if she gets away with it, and she almost did, she will do it again. Her answers were clichéd. She showed little to no remorse. Yes the MC dishes out some significant revenge punishment. But at some point she is just upset that she lost her chance at gardening fame. Be real. She didn't think she did anything wrong. Was MC and asshole, yes he was. But she wounded him terribly and with his best friend, they both betrayed him and he snapped. And in th4 end she though what she did was no big deal and he was throwing thr marriage away. It made no sense her affair. They proclaimed to love each other, they hadn't drifted apart, they were compatible, they have plans for the future, and yet she falls from grace once, sure that coukd be worked out in many cases, but she KEPT doing it. That is malice. And on top of that she thought a fling was no big deal. She is a bit delusional. He had no recourse but to divorce her. He coukd never trust her again. It is all about the circumstances, the extent and depth of betrayal, and the post discovery communications. Anna failed on all of those.

Not a nice tale at all, but nicely composed.

While I enjoy this author’s stories I am beginning to think he has so issues in his life he needs to resolve. I so no forgiveness anywhere in his psyche and he definitely has anger issues. These are all well demonstrated in his stories.

All of his MCs are losers, have empathy and forgiveness issues, and have extreme anger issues which need help.

This story is a prime example. He was way too angry and actually cut his own nose off to spite his face. Just stupid. Sure he needed to take some revenge out on his “best” friend for what he did but what he did was very revealing. His texts would have also pointed back to him that he was supposed to pick up the check. Fail on his part.

His wife did nothing that deserved the punishment she got. She made a mistake. He should have at least tried to forgive her and see if it would work. She didn’t plan the cheating it just happened. The only thing I can really criticize her for is continuing for the week under the assumption he wouldn’t find out. Again, he would have been much better off with his wife than without her. Especially with the extra attention he would have received for doing so. He lived a lonely life after dumping her. Stupid man.

He was also stupid to tear down his house and the gardens to get back at her. Let’s again cut our nose off to spite our face. If he had thought about it he should have just arrived with her as the gardens were being destroyed. Make her see it happen. That would have been revenge but his anger blinded him. Anger problems.

He also had major trust and love issues. If he picked up on the Hawaiian music in the background and so quickly jumped to the conclusion he did he had no love or trust in his marriage. To d7mo herb the way he did as fast as he did with the anger he had shows he never loved her in the first place.

He was also stupid to let Weingrass kill Tanner. He could have been an actual business man and made tanner live with what he did. Killing him was too easy. He should have suggested to Weingrass to set up a payment plan with Tanner and sold him an life insurance policy on Tanner with Weingrass as the beneficiary to protect the note. If he didn’t follow through Weingrass could have killed Tanner and gotten his money and he would have gotten a healthy commission.

All around this authors MCs are stupid, weak, anger ridden, not capable of loving, not and not able to trust, with the inability to forgive. This indicates that his MCs all have mental issues that need counseling. Because all his stories are like this it just makes me wonder if this is a direct reflection on the author.

Enjoyed the read… very much more revenge that other stories on this site. Was it over the top… o’ heck YES it was. But a very enjoyable read. You could of wrote a little more about Max’s emotional state in the end. That would of been balanced with the earlier parts of this story. And, a little more written about Anna would have made me happier. I know she just didn’t drop off this earth… but the final thoughts about her just seemed incomplete to me. Still I really did enjoy this read. Thank-you!

Second read, still great!

Revenge is a dish best served cold

Also, thsnk you for the node for Christmas. I am sick of a minority being offended by those of who still celebrate the birth of our savior. WHAT gived you the right to bully us, and entire culture, just to appease you. Your right. I don't give a damn about your discomfort and I am outeaged at your efforts, at every level, to dismantal this countrys social historical fabric to create a fsdcist state on the Calif// Chicago and NY model. You, and your kind, want absolute power to control all who oppose you. You are the early models of another dictator, Hitler. You need to be opposed at every opportunity. Yes, it's time to make you uncomfortable and if this offends you I couldn't care less.

not very good is the best I can say

Please don't ever let any sense of consideration for those of us who don't celebrate Christian holidays keep you from calling a spade a spade. We know that school social events occurring toward the end of December are Christmas celebrations and we know as well that you don't give a damn whether or not we feel included, regardless of whether our kids go to those schools or that our taxes pay the costs of those schools.

No suspense here at all, more translucent than a "Peter-and-Jane" reading-primer for five year-olds, and hardly a pheromone-inspiring bodice-ripping, lust-filled, tense, cliff-hanger of an erotic masterpiece!

Nothing especially wrong with the writing itself at all, nor even the basic plot (but it did NEED a helluva lot more development than this to be included in with the "grown-up" section of the library)! It's just that the storyline was "kindergarten-level" in it's target audience, -and that concerns me, -why was it?

You seem to use the same story line in most of your stories. He marries a beautiful architect who know his story. Pledges her ❤️. Yet she winds up in bed with his so called best friend . It hust seems unreal.no kids ever brought up in these marriages. He should have been kill by Ameche . Yet he beats up the ex girlfriends husband and he broke his leg on the football field . Makes a strange tale.

You do not ever tear down a historical 10-acre estate just to get even with a fuckin whore.

Good story. Was hoping for a little more retribution, oh well. 5 BIG FAT BLAZING STARS!

I was worried for a minute there: it wouldn't be a Gumbo25 story if someone isn't murdered in cold blood.

Couldn't rate it because after good writing, the revenge part became silly and over the top.

About 5•5 pages longer than necessary as it was all very predictable, best friend fucks wife, gets divorced, best friend and wife both suffered, he becomes multi millionaire, typical load of crap.

The comments were better than the story. It was completely telegraphed from page 1. He marries Anna and Tanner comes back, steals her and the pussy gets payback. And yeah he is a pussy and a sad sack. What kind of loser moves through high school and college because a girl he dated for a few months dumped him? The men on here apparently because they write it constantly. Oh but don't worry, it's "complex" according to some idiot. Lol

Complex and litetotica do not belong in the same sentence. Dumbfuck

A great story with excellent dialogue. Thanks and keep them coming. 5 stars!

A story with no good guys.

A story well written & well told! Good dialog, good character building! A believable "true story", actually. Thanks!

Do the math... Tanner was suppose to buy the Hawaii property for $1M, it would cost at least another $1M to develop, he was going to sell it for $5.5M, that's only $3.5 before taxes, after taxes he would be lucky to clear $2.5M... just how was Tanner going to clear at least $4M after taxes?... a real sign of a scam... Max, who majored in finance, knew his math and ended up the only multimillionare.

Absolutely excellent, from beginning to end. Great plot and character development, very good dialogue, and nothing exceeded the possible.

Thank you for sharing!

This was a terrifically constructed story with measured character portrayals and engrossing momentum until the last sentence. Gumbo25, a writer can't do too much better than that. Glad that SOB Ameche got his just desserts

Loved the revenge on Ameche, Tanner and Anna. Good creativity.

Other than that. Very little development of the marriage to show how or why it went downhill so quickly. A lot of time spent on football, business and landscaping that just added to the length of the story without really contributing to the story.

There was never any question of who Anna was going to cheat with. The real problem with her cheating with Tanner is that early in her relationship with Max she was very pointed in saying she avoided egotistical guys like Tanner because of the experience she had dating him. Yet, put a few drinks in her and Tanner talking about the old days is just irresistible??? For someone that Max noted as being kind and caring when they were in highschool and she's such a smart businesswoman ..

Yet a few drinks and reliving the old days with an old boyfriend she didn't have particularly fond memories of was enough for her to throw her marriage away??? An apparently very deep character just suddenly turns into the shallowest type of cliche???

All twists and turns were telegraphed well in advance, nothing kept in reserve, oh well.

The story verged on a 5-star rating. Then the protagonist got stupid, allowed himself to get into unnecessary trouble, then waited too long for violent retribution. Also, as a serious admirer of those who know how to use the English language, I'm taken aback by the ubiquitous misuse of "I" instead of "me" after prepositions. It's "between x and ME"! Have schools quit teaching grammar? Or have the LW editors created a new rule to always get it wrong?

The current star count is 4.66, yet if you were to read the comments you would conclude this story is somewhere between average and shit. While I believe a number of the commenters' complaints have merit, I found this story entertaining enough to read to the end and enjoy the read. Thanks, Gumbo.

Keep 'em comin'.

1 star - Ditto same comments as below.

Depressing to read. Even the MC was despicable.

It was too predictable. I knew Anne would cheat on Max with Tanner early in the story.

Quit reading when exhibition sex for Amazon driver. Not the least bit interested in exhibition or flirts. Bad enough he called Tanner about a old relationship. What a wimp also

Interesting story but weakened by lack of development of motives and by the disturbing misuse (throughout, sorry to say, all of Literotiaca) of simple English grammar. Examples:

things were good between Mia and I ME

I was quite comfortable with Tanner, Anna and I ME all together

moving on in a positive direction for both Anna and I ME

Between my mom and I ME one of us would be at his bedside for the next week or so

paced around the basement, circling us, studying Tanner and I ME.

He looks toward Tanner and I ME.

as the goons move toward Tanner and I ME

I guess if you don't know grammar very well you are not bothered by this but for those of us who do it is very distracting.

Best work of the author on this site. Enjoyed it thoroughly. 5⭐️.

Brilliant story; very unusual but very well told. Five stars.

I like stories that are different and this was a good one

3rd read still a 5*

Well done.

Complex and colorful plot made this an interesting and enjoyable story.

Very well done Gumbo25.

Top ratings from me.

You just never know. I’m in my 50s and something that happened in high school affected me, as far a female relationships go.

I was a sophomore in high school. I was secure in myself in almost every way but one — girls. I had MANY female friends and acquaintances, but when ever I started “like” liking a girl I’d choke up. Finally one day I got up the gumption to ask a girl I knew sort of from a campus “social club” to a dance. She was sitting with several of her friends whom I mostly knew to one degree or another. When I asked the girl, she quite literally LAUGHED IN MY FACE. I never asked a girl out in high school again..

Then as a sophomore in college (so 4 years) I finally got the gumption and asked a girl in a study group, who was another of my acquaintances so actually felt safe asking, out for coffee or something. And she laughed in my face in a kind of “you're so sad” way. It wasn’t until senior year in college I got a “romantic” girlfriend. And she just drifted from another of my good friends to becoming a girlfriend. So I didn’t have ask her out to try with her.

I did finally ask a another girl out post-college, and succeed. But she was cute and nice but dumb as a door nail. On our date she just talked about a new TV she bought, for at least an hour — our whole dinner. And shortly thereafter another of my female friends drifted into a girlfriend situation and I eventually married her.

To this day I think about some of the many girls I was attracted to back then, but didn’t ask because I was afraid of the rejection. Especially when I’m having fights with my wife. “What if...?”

A deep impact? My wife never wanted children, so I have no kids. Then I hear about my friends with grand kids now. And a few of the girls I wanted to be romantically involved with? Of about ~7-8 that I still have a vague connection with, about half have kids. If I had married one of them instead I very well might have kids and grand kids by now. That’s a HUGH impact on my life. One of the things I regret, not having kids. I think I would have been pretty good.

Anyway. So this character’s feelings about girls sort of rang true with me. And certainly, something that happens in high school can deeply impact what happens later in life.

Great burn- maybe the best on Literotica!! Very well written,

A bit of a downer ending. He might be rich, but he's without that which mattered the most to him.

The sudden kidnapping is also way over the top, and revenge by proxy isn't particularly satisfying, especially when it was just as much Sid that was to blame for the beating, and HE got off Scot-free.

That got dark at the end, but entertaining tale overall.

Gumbo25 has become a must read for me. I may not agree or like everything in their stories, but there is obvious care and thought put into the tale and its telling. Particularly enjoyable is the time allowed to let the story breath a bit. Not every story needs a cliff hanger in each paragraph.

Now that's out of the way...

Noticeable in the last page is a lot of verbs shifting from past to present tense. Please be consistent.

Definitely a bit of a rushed conclusion. This is particularly noticeable after an enjoyable build up.

Many of the plot points were telegraphed, but there was still enough new flavor here to keep me involved.

I don't think Anna was really given enough depth here, so when her betrayal unfolded it lacked some of the impact that other G25 stories have had. The story makes it clear she worked on the garden, but as for the rest of the house (i.e. the marriage) there's not a lot of story space spent on it. Now, i believe G25 wrote it that way for a reason; it makes Max's revenge on her that more focused; his revenge is personal but focused on things, not on the person themself, at least not directly (Ameche being the exception although he was simply a red-shirt piece of meat from the beginning). But the lack of shared growth of Anna and Max as people in the story really subtracts from the impact of her betrayal of Max. A life lived about the pursuit of things is shallow compared to one lived about people. Likewise, the tale told about the pursuit things...

A very sharp commenter noted that, despite the role that Mia played in Max's anxieties and how Anna knew of this, Anna never tried to broker an armistice between them. There was never even an apology from Mia. I think that was also a significant choice by G25 to leave this in that way as to show where Anna's loyalties lay (never entirely with Max).

And finally, a word about other comments. Comments never fail to reveal who actually understood the thrust of the story versus who read it and literally lost the plot.

To me, this is a story about a serious change in Western culture that is becoming very noticeable in social media (Corporate media has yet to really understand this shift as it does not draw clicks and online revenues. Yet.). Call it red-pill, call it MGTOW, call it whatever but many men are exceedingly careful about how society has pivoted to not only equalize women, but outright favor them. This is not the place to debate, but the data for this is present in every single social demographic, from the home to schools to business, the military, the courts ... you name it. And as a result of seeing the deck stacked against them, more and more men, Average Joes, are walking away from the game and saying "no thanks". The long term effects on society will be devastating but that's a topic for another time.

Here, G25 wrote a story about a guy who, on a much smaller scale, walked away from what he felt was an unequal situation, first with Mia and then with Anna. Each time, he then stayed out of the game. Regardless of the reason, the effect was the same. Men walking away from pair bonding with women.

When commenters here say "oh Max didn't fight hard enough, he must not have really loved her", I just have to laugh. G25 made a very clear and deliberate choice to have Mia's betrayal be *the* significant plot point mentioned as a reminder to these readers on every single page and was literally described as *the* reason why Max had problems trusting all woman but also specifically Anna. Max was human kintsugi, slowly pieced back together by Anna, only to have her break him again.

Yet these readers ignore this. Max "gave up on the relationship". That this goes against *the plot* and it's so casually ignored by an alarming number of readers that I wonder why they're even here. There's zero possibility of RAAC in this story, the way it was written. None whatsoever. But yet, they think that square peg should fit in the round hole.

To me, this viewpoint shows such reader's place in this overall societal realignment I spoke of. Western men are expected to surrender everything to women, despite already having equality. And there's no limit to this, there's no endpoint and no statute of limitations; just give until there's nothing left for all male sins in perpetuity. Well, let's see how that works out for ya.

Sorry for the red/black pill. Didn't have my coffee yet. Anyway, good stuff G25.

Decent story,if a bit predictable.

Good story but me personally I could to start with marry a girl who I know my best friend use to fuck. Also if you could get past that making him best man to stand on the alter with the two of you and exchange vows is a definite Nono . I couldn’t but if your past that inviting him to the wedding I get but not best man on the alter as you marry probably both but definitely are thinking up there how they use to fuck because guys are pigs and do think that way . Some don’t care and think the past is the past . Also she wasn’t as begging for forgiveness as I feel she should’ve. She went on business that was gonna be a second honeymoon, her father Inlaw could die in hospital she cheats and with her husband best friend. The balls to say it didn’t mean anything and it’s only sex . I’d want to kill her personally. Know the arrogance of the friend he probably fucked her ass , talked dirty and down about hubby and had her do the most vile sexual things based on his personality. She fucked him the first night and continued. If it was meaningless it would’ve ended there but she continue the weed hole trip . To me she is a very beautiful disgusting whore who has no love or respect for her husband or herself for that matter. If it’s that easy to cheat for you when your away from your husband than in my mind your worse than a prostitute or porn star . . They make a living that way . The dock friend is just a scum bag who thinks with his dick If you can’t control yourself around your friends wives and your families wives and you just a lowlife. A second story of the aftermath and how the three future looks

Needs a codicil on the Mia angle and how her emotions played into the Ameche side of the later portion of this tale. It would fill out the body of the story, it may be tat Anna and Tanner had a little more to do with the earlier betrayal that ultimately led to the Max-Ameche tet-a-tet. Could be interesting....

Some problems here and there, but well-written and it flowed. I enjoyed it.

Hooked

Max failed to recognize the significance of Anna's insistence that Mia and Michael receive an invitation to their wedding. Mia was certainly free to choose Michael over Max but she owed Max the respect and consideration of telling him she had made that choice. Her degree of incivility worsened when she failed to apologize to Max once he and Anna began dating seriously. In marrying Max, Anna agreed to forsake all others in deference to her husband. Instead, she insisted on Max deferring to the rights of Mia as her long time friend. That alone made it abundantly clear Max could never depend on Anna to place his needs first or honor her vows.

The flash development of the property inherited from Aunt Helen was an inspired bit of retribution I would never have seen coming. Very well done, Gumbo25. I will look forward to reading more of your work.

It was dark over the top btb. But because it was well written, I could feel the hate of a emotionally destroyed man. Anna was just an entitled selfish woman who just couldn't see the error of her ways destroyed the love her ex husband had for her.

The protagonist seemed a bitter and spiteful man who created his own hell on earth. Why did he remain "friends" with Tanner, a man of dubious character? Why did he let his wife travel unescorted to Hawaii to hang around her former high school boyfriend? And the impulsive arson and aggravated first degree murder? What kind of man does that? Not one I want to read about.

You have a great talent. Thanks.

This story is interesting. I easily read it and consider it well written. My rating of 5 is low. I don't have the opportunity to rate any higher "5 is the highest" . RC

Needs a different story name.

Very well done story but it was very linear and predictable. I think a different title, like perhaps, "Second Honeymoon in Kauai" would have served it better.

5*s, from beginning to end.

Tough ending, also, too bad about Anna. She was weak and cheated in a major, unforgivable way.

Just the right amount of detail about Mia, it was moot after she drifted away.

I'm actually glad Tanner paid the ultimate price.

You crafted a mighty fine story. Well thought out, well planned.

Nicely structured and a smooth read. No suprises;

Saint Cecilia's had a Christmas Formal. I guess since it was a religious school they could get away with saying "Christmas". In our politically correct high school any December pageantry had to be labeled "Winter".

this line turned me off dude. there is no war on christmas and saying christmas won't land you in jail. stop whining about culture wars. saying holiday is simply more inclusive cos it includes us non-christians too.

What a rollercoaster ride.

A great story, well told. It kept me interested from start to finish.

Well done, Gumbo25. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Five stars with a bullet.

Good, though sad, tale. Our protagonist has no loyal wife in the end, literally burns his bridges. I don’t think he came out a winner. A nice twist would have been to have Weingrass’ younger lady be Anna, fallen on hard times. But I guess she was punished enough, though I don’t think she ever realized how bad her betrayal was. Max was a bit too much of an observer of life and he pretty much let his relationship with her cool down.

Quite a story, I enjoyed the read. Thank you!

Well written. A few minor faux land's. No real information on why Mia left him. Later in the story, despite his interaction with Ameche, still no information about Mia. Kind of a plot hole there. Needed to be fleshed out with at least a little bit of character development for Mia to explain her actions. Overall, much better than most stories here, and worth the read.

Is it such a bad thing to help people become financially secure? That is Max's goal, all through his life he is there for his friends, he helps Tanner in school, he doesn't throw himself at Anna practically making her chase him and in a moment of great need and stress for Max (His father's heart attack) he gets betrayed by those closest to him. Because he had always provided for them. If Anna and Tanner had seen anything from his reaction to the betrayal from Mia which signaled where the writer was going with this story it would have been be true to your friends. Do unto others. Mia and Tanner both used Max as a resource, not as a true friend, they didn't respect him, they needed him but weren't there when he needed someone. It should have been no question for Anna to stay home when her father-in-law got sick. But Tanner's project and her future TV show were so important the simple idea of lending support to a son who may lose his father was an alien idea for them. So yeah, it hurts but this is what life taught Max, why should anyone be surprised when he reached his breaking point. Oh and Ameche and Mia are assholes, go to the guy's wedding then beats the shit out of him because Tanner couldn't lick a stamp and pay his bill. Pathetic. Quick fun read. Thanks!

Why can't more writers create stories like this? Not dwelling on backstory unless it's pertinent to the plot, such as it is here. Also, proper pacing and focusing on what we're here for. Not writing a story that's 20 percent intro, conflict, and climax and then 80 percent "happy ending" for the protagonist.

Good story. You should have described how Anna dealt with her wreck of her life. Her career and marriage all burned to the ground. I wonder if Max could anonymously do the same to her reputation - maybe Angel knows some IT people and a photo or two and the story goes public. Maybe Anna will grow up after a few years of counseling - then again maybe not and she'll just be a pretty, but bitter woman that screwed her life up. Of well, karma is a bitch.

So the problems of his adult life were due to seeds planted in high school? Isn't that a cop out? There's this thing most adults do called Growing Up. His response to Anna's betrayal reflected a juvenile delinquent. He could just as easily and more painfully executed the same plans, but done it slowing, methodically, and relentlessly over time, allowing each hope and aspiration of Anna's be squashed, withdrawn, pulled from her grasp. He ripped the bandage off too fast.

His being abducted by two thugs was just pathetic. What makes him think it won't happen again, with worse results? They were going to kill him just because he didn't make sure Tanner's insurance was up to date? So he thinks they're going to let him get away with beating Ameche within an inch of his life?

It was a good plot idea. I wish you had focused on the adults, and had made it more believable.

Thanks for the effort.

I loved it, I look for stories like these because they keep me entertained for a longer period of time than the normal 1 to2 page offering.

Nice story telling, but with faults, weakling the plot. Anna’s cheating was unexpected she should have known better. His revenge was over the top.to destroy your home and her garden. Your burning the x friends house. That both are taken to be killed by Ameche but weingrass lets Max talks his way out. LOL with that ,no way he would let him go at that point. Then his revenge beating of Ameche . So not killing that prick he will come back to kill you. Last 2 pages change a great story into the garbage dump.

I agree , Weingrass should pay .......

😬😬😬😬😬 ...

Well written.

What wasn't apparent to complainers was that Max ended up in the same position after his marriage to Anna as he was after being dumped on by Mia. This was a story of a guy who was ditched by Mia and spent years protecting his feelings only to be resurrected by Anna. Then after years of him trusting her, she betrays him just like Mia. Sadly, he ends up in the same place - alone and mistrustful with only superficial relationships in his future. Not a happy story.

Winegrass needs to paythe piper too

Interesting story!

5

The writing was really good and the story glowed quite well.

I thought the ending was too quick for all the buildup and the last page was over the top.

Non the less a really good story and infinitely better than the vast majority posted on a daily basis in LW.

5*

But it rings pretty fucking true. Unless you are naive, this is how our species acts. You are lucky or you haven't travelled very much outside of your locale if you haven't experienced otherwise.

Hell, some of the most fucked up shit I have been exposed to has been at the hands of close friends and family.

Good story, fun read. the end dragged it way down though as it follows too many other LW stories with the husband becoming a rich babe magnet.

A good story, l enjoyed it immensely.

Please write more dark tales like this one, you have the knack.

Scores 5/5

An enjoyable story. Revenge seems to just happen

Great story. It held my interest throughout, and even though it was long, I skipped nothing. 5 *s

I will never trust any of my best friends ever again. Juding by the stories on here your worst enemy is better than your best friend. Well that was definitely scorched earth policy and definitely burn that bitch. Good story well written. The good Guy wins the bad guys lose, job done thanks.

Nice mike Marian. Grow up! LOVE

Wow, very well done. I could feel the rage that Max had after being betrayed by his "best friend" and his "faithful wife". You did a good job with the flow of this story. The only complaint I have is I felt that Anna got off too easily and didn't suffer enough. With her attitude, she definitely didn't love Max like she should have and wasn't in the marriage for the long haul.

Solid