Spread the Seed

"Dear Lord, please bless this bright and beautiful young man and the work he is doing to bring glory to your name. Please see him on his journey to becoming a wonderful father and husband, doing all he can for his community and mankind. Thank you for blessing him with strength and wisdom beyond his years and please help him to recognize that it is always there, with your grace. In the name of your son Jesus we pray." She lifted her eyes and met mine. "Amen."

"Amen," I said. Being prayed on felt good. I leaned across and kissed Dawn's lips, softly. She kissed back. We embraced, and I felt a heady mix of sin and grace. The intensity and the kindness of the prayer, her generous Dawn-ness, and the intensity of being turned on by her, of caring about her.

Dawn tugged me toward the mailroom yet again. This time she sucked my cock, like she did in the car. We did it all quietly, as if understanding its inevitability. I came in Dawn's mouth. After she swallowed, she stood and kissed me, and I held her.

"Jill's a very lucky lady," she said.

*

When I got home, Caitlin was sitting on the couch, arms folded, looking at me.

"Hi Caitlin, how are---"

"Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"You're fresh out of college. Don't play dumb, Blake. My weed."

I slumped, and figured honesty was the best honesty. Well, not total honesty. "I'm sorry, Caitlin. I borrowed some to smoke with a friend. I promise I'll pay you back, whatever it is."

Caitlin sighed. "Christ. Look, I know I'm not like your real mom or anything, but that doesn't mean I'm some kind of pushover. You get out of an expensive college, can't get a job, the one job you do get is a crap-dollars-an-hour office gig in a church, and instead of pursuing a career you're smoking up in your free time. And not just that, stealing it from your own family."

"And what exactly are you doing yourself, Caitlin?" I snapped back. "If you noticed your weed was missing today it's because you're smoking it around here every day. Which I don't care about, except apparently instead of chilling you out it makes you pissy and judgy. I told you I was sorry and I told you I was going to pay you back for it, OK?"

Her face tightened. "If your father was here..."

"Yeah, well, he's not. He never is."

I could see Caitlin break a little. She let out a quick sob. "No. I guess he isn't."

I walked slowly toward the couch, planted myself gently next to her.

"Caitlin. Cait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

She leaned against me and started crying in earnest. I held her.

"I'm sorry too, Blake. I was being such a stupid bitch."

"No, like you said, you're just a little lonely."

She looked up at me. "Can we have an agreement, Blake? That we can be friends here? Good to each other?"

"Of course, Cait."

"Just kinda restart?"

I smiled. "I have just the thing for that."

Soon enough, both of us were stoned on her weed. Caitlin was telling me stories about some of her Spring Break trips with girlfriends and how she wound up working as an office assistant that led to her meeting my dad. It wasn't an especially interesting story, but I liked seeing her happy after being in such a sour mood when I came into the house. The living room was a pleasant cloud of pot smoke, and in the midst of our lazy smoking session, we were back on the couch again, lying next to each other on the couch. Not cuddling, just staying close. Still, I was very hard, and had a sense that Caitlin was turned on as well.

"So who was it?" Caitlin asked.

"Who was who?" I said. It took a moment for her question penetrated.

"The friend you smoked my very good pot with." She rested a hand on my chest. I was idly playing with a strand of her hair.

"You won't believe it. It was a parishioner at the church."

"Guy or girl?"

"Girl. Around your age."

"Cute?"

I flashed to the image of Jill's grateful smile, her full tits, the way she was proud of not wearing panties for me. "Definitely."

"Did you fuck her?" She'd turned to look at me.

"Uh-huh."

"I mean, did you fuck-her fuck her. I don't mean diddling the church wife's clit. I mean penetration. Fucking."

"I put my cock in her, Cait. I fucked her."

"You did?" Her eyes slitted and I finally noticed that she'd slipped a hand under her shorts.

"I did. First when she straddled me on her couch, then when I took her to her bedroom."

"Oooooooh."

"In her bedroom I fucked her on her husband's side of the bed."

"Naughty boy," she whispered.

"I didn't wear a condom. I put a baby in her."

"Mmmmmmmmm."

"My boss suggested it."

"Sounds like you have a nice boss."

"I love her."

"Mmmmmmm....love. Gonna fuck her too? Put a baby in your boss?"

"I hope so."

Her body shook and I could feel the warmth of her cumming next to me. I adored the fact that she was trying to keep it a secret, even though it was the most obvious thing. I expected her to ask more questions, but I could see that the orgasm had worn her out and she'd dozed off. I held my stepmom next to me, luxuriating in her curves and warmth. I figured that everything I confess would come back to her only as a lovely dream she had with somebody.

*

About a week and a half passed after that without much changing, but staying a pleasant same. Dawn and I got in the habit of having lunch together, often punctuated with makeout and blowjob sessions in her SUV. She resisted having sex with me, but was comfortable giving me playing with her in the driver's seat. She came athletically, bucking with gusto as I massaged her clit. I loved her voice, loved hearing her talk, but it was a joy to give her so much pleasure she was rendered speechless.

She'd pray for me at the end of the day most days, and though I still got an erotic charge out of it I also respected the prayer as prayer. I meant my amens, and I prayed for her too. Maybe that's what prayer is, I thought. A form of dedicated attention. A way of sharing our love and concern for others, and sometime for one person too. I tried my hand at praying for her, and she smiled when I did it.

With Caitlin, though, things cooled off a little bit. I did give her some cash to reimburse her for the weed, which she took gladly. But I also sensed that, far from forgetting that session on the couch, she remembered it all too clearly. She just wasn't ready to make anything of it. There was no easy way to bring it up. Remember that time we got really baked together and I told you I tried to get a woman pregnant and you masturbated while I told you? Besides, dad had returned from his Asia trip, and we were back to being a just-so household. I could hear them fucking from my bedroom. I was happy for her---at least she wasn't lonely.

One morning around then I came to the office early---Dawn hadn't arrived yet---to find a manila envelope resting on my chair with my name on it. There was some heft to it. Inside were a couple of sheets office paper wrapped around a substantial wad of bills. I didn't count it right there, but it was enough to subsidize a few months of dedicated attention to my writing. I could even have quit my job at STS, if I wanted to, rent a place and try something else. I felt so knocked sideways about it that I shoved the wad back in the envelope, and the envelope in my bag.

I unfolded the surrounding paper. On top was a copy of a printout of a positive pregnancy test. I read the letter on the next page.

Dearest Blake,

As you can see, our adventure was a great success! I cannot begin to tell you how much joy your company brought me, not just because I am going to be a mom (so excited!) but because you were so good to me and understanding. Please know that while my child will have a dad at home, you will always be a father.

May God bless you and keep you. I'll never, ever forget you.

Love,

Jill

"Sorting through your love letters, hon?" Dawn said from behind me. She joined me at my side. I showed her the pages.

"Saints be praised, Jill's gonna be a momma," she cried, and hugged me tight. "I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. This calls for a celebration."

I held on to Dawn, my hands on her hips. "What do you have in mind, dear?"

"Dear? That's a bit forward for speaking to your boss, hon."

"Well, I love you." It just came out of me. I hadn't thought that I was in love with Dawn---but that was me not wanting to admit it. So many things felt like it was leading up to it. My craving her dedicated attention, her praying on me, me praying for her, the joy I felt when I was serving her, being a happy helper, her touch, her consideration.

Her lips shuddered. "Blake," she sighed.

"I love you, Dawn."

Her voice turned low and whispery. "I love you too, Blake."

We kissed. I held her. So many un-churchlike things had happened in this church over the past couple of weeks. But everything that seemed upside down at first now felt so right. I craved everything Dawn offered. And I had a notion of what, in time, I might be able to give to her.