All Comments on 'Sprung - 13th Alternate Ending'

Pretty good. You could have made the ending longer by describing how Sarah was pissed off at herself for leaving the better man and her envy of his prettier and younger woman, and the fact that he is now making more money. She thought the grass was greener, and it wasn't grass, it was pond scum! Got to love Karma!

But I can fill in the blanks with my own imagination

I read the foreword but I'm afraid I have to disagree: there is nothing new or original here, in fact it's been done to death over time. But to make matters worse this was also mind numbingly boring, the same old not so elaborate plan to btb and the supposedly clever husband and surprise surprise he even has the young replacement for the cheating wife waiting for him. I persevered to the end hoping the author might deliver on his promise but frankly it was like reading the T&Cs of a phone contract. Twenty minutes of my life completely wasted.

Thing is, this is the same fantasy that is in most of the stories. It never happens this way in real life.. In real life hunbby would not end up rich with a new hot wife. Authors on this site need to make it more realistic.

I think you write very well. Please continue and thank you for sharing.

The finding out was typical. The action after was good. But If he was so detail oriented about everything there is no way this could go on so long without a clue. Nonetheless, I liked how he made her crucify herself. All I could add would be to some how let her know she did it to herself and my she rot in hell where she belongs. I could never do this if I was in this situation. Could I be cold, calculating and plan for the end sure. But knowing what she has been up to I could never fuck her again without throwing up. Also all the money in the world isn’t worth getting a disease. I would have moved all the money off shore, sold the house and moved that and told her and her attorney to fuck off and die. Me and the kids would be happy living in a tropical location until justice is served on her whoring ass. She decided her lover was more important then her family. Therefore she that is all she would be allowed to keep. I have read here for years some great some good most suck. I can’t tolerate a cuck in any shape. There really needs to be separate cuck category so these bottom feeders quit ruining this one. To post here and never score above a 3 should tell you your work is not being received well. But since all of these stories are feminist and or weak ass men based. They continue to post here. If they were catholic I would say they enjoy the terrible comments and rating as their form of self castigation.

Thanks for the story enjoyed it. As usual with the exception of about 15 authors here. When new additions are added only about 10 percent are worth reading yours among them.

So what is new or different in this story now? Like a hundred times already read elsewhere, he learns from the opponent's wife about his wife's cheating. As he has read a hundred times before, he reacts by doing nothing and waiting for her to apply for a divorce. The only thing that seems new to me is that he's an idiot who, even though he knows she's a slut, still has sex with her. Are your protagonists not afraid of STD or HIV! Or do you think nothing has happened so far, nothing will happen in the future? All in all, a very average story!

Thanks author. Nicely done. But really devoid of drama or emotion, seems like to me this marriage between MC and Sarah their love died a long time before D-Day.

It would be ok for me if a part 2 gets posted but if with the same emotionless storytelling then this ending will suffice me.

Look, we all know that many of these stories are just to give the author a chance to vent/let off steam. However, while the basic story may be fantasy, the "Legal aspects" should not also be fantasies.

So, this arsehole husband has been FINANCIALLY cheating on his wife for years. Hiding money away. Then she actually cheats (the slut!) and now we are expected to hate her and not his actions. Then he illegally cheats further financially, effectively stealing matramonial assets and again he is made out to be the good guy.

Yes, his wife is a cheating slut but he allows it to continue. Then all that illogical garbage about the kids, no spousal support, probably no child support. Ridiculous. Oh, if it can be proved legally re him having hidden financial assets, the situation can be revisited! Are you aware of that?

The legal aspects of the other guy and what his wife did to plunder her husband in the divorce is also rubbish. Please try to keep thing realistic, at least legally.

"I trusted him exactly the way he trusted me." - And we see what THAT'S worth!

/

"We won't tell your sister" - Sister?

/

$500,000 is nowhere near what she expected in savings? How the fuck much money do they have that she expected MUCH more than $500,000?

/

Sold the house for what they owed? They had no equity?

/

"he would be forced to pay all legal fees, hers too" - I though the person who filed paid.

/

I don't see how he gets penalized for moving in with his lover just because the divorce hadn't been finalized yet.

In the end, not particularly original, the characters one dimensional, and lacking erotica.

Pretyy much average. Very forgettable.

Financial settlements in divorce proceedings are not as easy to get around as suggested by author.

After reading the forward was hoping for something semi-original, nope, same old, same old, wife gets burned, hubby rides off into sunset with all the cash and a hot younger model, I know this site is fiction, but it has to be believable fiction, this was just boring

Nice!

Made me think this was going in a predictable way.

Then it changed.

That is all I ask. Surprise me.

Nice work.

5*

BTW, remember to COMPLETELY ignore any post written by "Anonymous"

Their opinions are not worth thinking about.

If they were, they would not hide like cowards.

too short. pity.

I really like.

no BTB, no RAAC either.

just a real man coming out of his marriage.

And for children, it is better a good divorce where parents understand the importance of the role of mother and father, than a bad marriage invaded by anger, mistrust, sorrow, a feeling of loss,

Thanks for your story.

Pretty good job!

One thing authors here ought to avoid....falling into IFPU (Ignorant Feminist Pronoun Usuage). Here is a museum quality example:

"Any other wife might have been jealous of a younger, trimmer, better looking, bigger boobed woman that spent almost as much time with their husband as they did, but they didn't know my Dave."

Written correctly, it would be: "Any other wife might have been jealous of a younger, trimmer, better looking, bigger boobed woman that spent almost as much time with her husband as she did, but she didn't know my Dave." Even corrected, the referent of the last pronoun is confusing. It would be better to write, "...but this younger woman didn't know my Dave."

There is no more justification for ignoring the number and gender of a pronoun's antecedent than there is for using "ze", "hir", etc. (these are among the absurd pronouns invented by that class of mentally ill people known as "transgender").

To those who think that grammar is a trivial matter than shouldn't particularly concern authors, please realize that it is grammar and diction (the proper choice of words) that allow use to communicate accurately. You don't want to write dialogue in which, for example, an engineer, who is necessarily highly educated, talks like Gomer Pyle. If you don't know what's wrong with writing, "Yesterday I shot an elephant in my pajamas.", you need to get some help.

Not a bad start and/or follow-on to V's tale. You gave us a lot of information in a short amount of prose, but did it effectively. I gave you 5* but it would have been fun in some areas to see narrative sued instead of my head. Good job!

Good job with your ending for Vande1’s story. I love it when the cheater’s plan falls apart before their eyes. Relatively gentle, yet satisfying, financial burn.

Fantastic and ORIGINAL! Yes, an unique way to 'discover' her infidelity!

Re: Timriv

"It never happens this way in real life.. In real life hubby would not end up rich with a new hot wife."

I've seen people state this as fact lots of times in the comments,but it's just not true. I know several couples who got divorced. in every case the wife instigated it. In every case she ended up much worse off...

1) Wife of 5 years cheated shortly after having second child, filed for divorce. The relationship with the affair partner fell apart and the ex-husband refused her post-divorce attempt to reconcile. Wife eventually remarried (no more kids, lower middle-class lifestyle). Ex-husband remarried a younger woman, had another son, and happy 25 year marriage. Retired a multi-millionaire with a second home in France.

2) Wife cheated after 20 years, filed for divorce. Relationship with affair partner fell apart. She did better financially in the divorce (60/40 split), but never remarried and has lived alone for the last 25 years. Ex-husband remarried a woman 20 years younger. Made lots of money at the end of his career and retired with great pensions and share portfolios.

3) Wife of 6 years cheated on husband, abandoned family for fitness instructor. She had no more kids and is now estranged from her two sons. She's still together with affair partner, but they lead a lower middle-class lifestyle. Ex-husband threw himself into Pharmacy business and expanded it into a chain, which he sold for millions. Married a 10 years younger, more attractive second wife, and had three more kids with her.

4) Wife of 12 years "fell out of love" with doctor husband, filed for divorce. She remarried a graphic designer and had another daughter (at 38). Wife is now depressed and struggling financially to maintain a middle-class lifestyle. Ex-husband fought for shared custody of their two kids, but got raped in the divorce (70/30 split). He came from money though and was earning £200,000 as a partner in a medical practice. He's now got more money than he had before the divorce and is engaged to a 15 years younger hot Eastern European anaesthetist.

So basically, you're wrong Timriv. If the husband has a decent career, chances are he will do far better than the wife post-divorce. A woman's sexual market value sharply declines past 30, whereas a man hits his peak between 35-45. He has a far greater chance of remarrying an attractive younger woman, than a 40+ divorcee has of landing a wealthy husband.

I agree with timriv. Might marry a better woman, but getting filthy rich. Give me a break.

I did enjoy her burning herself, that was fun

Still fell a bit flat though.

it wouldve been nice with another chapter from the wifes pov on how she made a mistake and that she lived a poor and lonely for the rest of her life.

Now that's called evening the playing field. You are a good author.

But here's the reality. There was nothing new or original in this mess. Even a lousy lawyer goes by the numbers mandated by the State. So Sarah got the house, alimony and child support. And half of their assets. And those assets would have been based over several years of their financial records. So he gave her half even if that meant he gave her 100% of what was available in the bank. He doesn't have a job? No problem. The Court simply informs him what the standard alimony and child support numbers will be and that he owes it immediately. In other words, get a job and pay up or go to jail. Funny system right? He gets a better job and she can take him back to Court and get more money. Don't think so? Then you're delusional and uninformed. Your idea that 6 months protects him was ludicrous. And HE will be paying her legal fees. He just doesn't know it yet. Or you dreamed it wasn't true. Guess what? You're wrong. Signed - Screwed, glued and tattooed. PS - Ann would have gotten no more than half. The "blood-suckers" have no effect. Again - the Court goes by the mandated numbers. Done and done.

The guy played it cool, not fool. A shocked wife I am sure. Got what she deserved, very little.

As no one else has said it, i will. Well done for having a go, mate. It takes some courage to create something then put it out there for possible public ridicule. You've shown your mettle, congratulations.

One very important ommision- what happened to the kids? 3 stars

Fantasy in spades regards the divorce outcomes for both parties.

But it is fun to read.

4/5

Not much of a story here.

good enough story 5*, but sorry to say despite the claims at the start nothing was unique about it, the divorce settlements came from fantasy land.

no idea why authors get hung up on trying to find new discoveries and revenge plots when for most of us readers it's the middle bit, all the angst, betrayal and shennanigans that make a great "loving wives" story.

Nice summary, but not much of an actual story.

The story would be much improved if you kept the phrase "show, don't tell" in mind.

Average? Laws! Yes you get screwed but maintain self respect.

Fuck me! WHY do you do such long intros on EVERY boring story you write? Boring intro, boring story.

Boring. all that build up and you write this very thin story. you are apparently more taken with your writing skills than many of your readers... who aren't that many.

<smile>

enjoyed a well-written story. 5 stars. I saw comments on why the long intro. You were continuing a story Vandemonium had started. You had to announce the premise.

Why lie to other wife? She offered him proof so he didn't have to go on being an unknowing cuckold. And then he lies to her!! As accountant he would be caught quickly and worse case scenario jail time

He gets no empathy from me.

Haven’t even read the story yet. After I do maybe I will make an additional comment. . I haven’t read every story so how do I know if every possible ending has been written. Besides writing your own take, on the same ending isn’t plagiarism in my opinion. I’ve probably read half a dozen biographies of George Washington, does that make five of them fakes?

Keep writing, if I don’t like it, I or somebody else will be sure to tell you.

Loved it. 5 BIG STARS! Reminds me of my X. When I was done with her she had to move 7200 miles away, she was so humiliated. All she got in the divorce? Her debt.

Dealing with a cheating wife, is a lot like fishing. You can stay in one spot all day, and cast until your arm falls off. Or, you can move around, try different things. Anticipate what the fish are looking for. It was obvious, that the wife was so “ in the ether”, she would not notice he quit, or the changes he made with the finances. The one issue I had with the story, is how badly the boyfriend’s wife was able to take him to the cleaners. And the fact that the two of them, bought a house before the divorce was finalized. No way that would happen in real life. If it did, you are offering proof, you will be fine without the husbands assets. And since when, did the state require you to finance your children’s college education? If that were true, there would be a preponderance of Senior citizens, broke and homeless. I gave it 5 stars, cause it was a great read. It also highlighted the totally different way, men and woman who are victims of infidelity and divorce, are treated by the courts. Anyway, that’s me two cents.

The whole silliness lying and playing games with Comton's wife at the beginning made no sense. They were both injured parties, why would he lie to her??

So much more that seems very off, including the wife wanting any help and/or support from her soon to be ex-hubbie.

And why did he/they buy a new house before the divorce was complete? Made no sense.

BTB! Great story! I should have done the same thing during my divorce BUT literotica wasn't around at the time!

Money, money, money...solves everything, eh?

Very adequate. Maybe next story you could include some human beings, you know, with emotion, motives, anger, greed, remorse, regret. And then maybe some families, children, how the families and children reacted to the whore's deceit and selfish cruelty. Great manipulation of the money and property. Was this an accounting course? Thanks for the effort.

Pretty good but you left out what happened, in the long run, to his ex-wife and kids. Saying they didn't make it a year leaves out the best part.

Good twist!

Very slick planning on his part!

I started to read vandemoniums SPRUNG but found it quite difficult and less than interesting with her preparation and ruminations while planning her weekend rendezvous' with a soon to be lover.

While with your version it was interesting pretty much right at the start without pages and pages of the woman's thoughts and planning. Excellent story. 5 stars.

Pretty good story, but a couple of points. Nothing new here. You just haven't read enough stories to realize that fact. He certainly didn't seem the slightest bit concerned with his children. Odd take. And considering he was so well planned, not having Julie waiting in the wings seemed like a pretty big oversight. Otherwise I enjoyed your effort.

Really nice.

Good ending.

Ed

@BlueEyd2 - He lied so that he could get fired and avoid having to pay alimony. If it was known that he got fired after learning of her affair, especially in light of how he got fired, the court would have ordered support based on his salary at that time.

Very different take. In all the other variants (almost) it is presented as a new fling that weekend and that the wife (at least thinks she does) loves her husband but has ego issues and lusts Michael with no love between them. And variations around that.

So many holes and inconsistencies….just much too weak.

Though I believed your opening premise about the virtually limitless possibilities for discovering an affair but after mentioning that you go and use one that is in the top 5 over used the paramours spouse, Holy why would you say you're trying to break from the common and over used only to use one of the most common and over used, sad just sad, guess it just goes with the saying writers write about what they know and have experienced, needless to say you need to learn a whole lot more as well as get out of your mommas basement!

Although it isn't as original a storyline as the author suggested, it was told well, for which I gave it 4 stars.

Ah so nice when the offended spouse has some ability and is sentient.

That's fine, a decent effort. Another shallow distant tepid marriage, dying due to lack of interest. How else could you explain a woman totally and completely falling in love with another man, for months, and her husband doesn't even notice? So her behavior, demeanor, and attitude while she was still the loyal loving faithful wife was essentially the same after she became the lying cheating self-absorbed slut. Gee, you'd think going from Wife and Mother to office whore monster might cause some changes in how a person acts, and interacts, with the husband and children she is now eagerly and enthusiastically betraying. Maybe she's a sociopath, or maybe the stupid cuck just wasn't paying attention. If that's all their relationship amounted to then neither one lost much in the divorce. Wonder if either one of these losers will treat their next partners with more regard and a keener level of interest?

A nice story worth 4*.

Enjoyable story with a good ending. It was nice that the MC was able to circumvent his wife's efforts to shaft him out of everything he had. Not sure if it would work in the real world, but I guess if you're smart enough, and maybe just a little crooked, you could get away with it. Four stars.